Delivering A Wedding Speech: A Guide To Starting Strong

how to start wedding speech

Wedding speeches can be nerve-wracking, but they don't have to be! Whether you're the best man, maid of honour, or a member of the happy couple, there are plenty of ways to start your speech with confidence. It's important to remember that this speech is about sharing a special moment with the couple, so while it's good to be creative, it's also good to be prepared. You want to see smiles spread across the room, so consider starting with a joke, a sincere statement, or a quote. You could even get the newlyweds to kiss! Most importantly, be yourself, and don't be afraid to show your support and love for the couple.

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Be sincere, not just funny

While it's good to be funny, it's more important to be sincere. As one source puts it, "this speech is about sharing a special moment with the couple". It's an honour to be asked to give a wedding speech, so don't let the high stakes paralyse you.

A good way to begin is to introduce yourself and your relationship to the couple. For example, "Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. As [name's friend/relative], I'm delighted to welcome you all here tonight." Or, "Hi everyone, I'm [name] and, for those of you who don't already know me, I'm the bride's sister." It's always polite to introduce yourself, and you can make a joke if you feel tense. For example, "Hi, I'm [name of bride/groom] – you should probably all know who I am, and if you don’t, well done for sneaking in unnoticed."

If you're the best man or maid of honour, you could say something like, "Hi everyone, I'm [name], and I'm here to talk a little bit about my good friend [name]." Or, "Good evening everyone, before I begin, let’s give it up one more time for the newlyweds – [names of bride and groom]." It's a good idea to make your speech personal and heartfelt. You could even ask the couple for significant moments in their relationship to include.

However, remember that the speech is about the couple, not you. It's easy to ramble on about your life story, but make sure the subject of your speech is the protagonist, not you. You could also talk about the couple's love for each other, and give the bride and groom, their parents, and the guests a round of applause. Claps always precede something good!

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Make it about the couple, not yourself

It's important to remember that a wedding speech is about the couple, not yourself. This is a once-in-a-lifetime event for people you care about, so it's not the time to be self-centred. While it's natural to want to share stories about your decades-long friendship with the bride or groom, this isn't the time to tell your life story.

Keep the focus on the couple by sharing anecdotes about them. Paint a picture of who they are and their relationship. You can include stories about your friendship with them, but make sure they are the protagonists. Think about who will be in the room and choose good-natured stories that won't make anyone uncomfortable. If you don't know one half of the couple well, don't be afraid to get creative.

A good formula to follow is: story, message, blessing. Start with a heartwarming story, then share the message or value behind it, and finish with a blessing or wish for the couple. Try to include both members of the couple in your speech. It's a nice touch to showcase who each person was before they met, their synergy together, and their individual and collective growth.

If you're unsure what to say, ask the couple for inspiration. You can ask them about their relationship, how they feel about marriage, and significant moments in their journey together. Make sure to ask about any sensitive topics or boundaries so you know what to avoid.

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Use a simple, direct introduction

Using a simple, direct introduction is a great way to begin your wedding speech. It may feel unnecessary to introduce yourself, especially if many of the guests know you. However, it is a classic and effective way to start a speech. It will help you feel more confident, and it will give your audience a frame of reference. For example, you could say: "Hi, I'm [your name] and I'm the bride's sister". This is a straightforward and unpretentious way to begin, and it will help you feel more comfortable as you settle into your speech.

You can also use this introduction to give a brief overview of your relationship with the couple. For instance, you could say: "Hi, I'm Michael's brother Justin. I've known Michael since he was a baby, and I've been friends with his wife, Danielle, since we were kids". This will help to set the stage for the rest of your speech and give your audience a clear understanding of your connection to the couple. It is a good way to provide context and give a personal touch to your introduction.

If you are feeling nervous, a direct introduction is a reliable way to begin your speech. It is a simple and effective technique that will help you feel more at ease. You could say something like: "Good evening everyone, I'm the bride and groom's best friend, Steven. It's an honour to be here today". This will help to establish your role in the wedding and your relationship with the couple. It is a straightforward way to begin your speech and will help you feel more confident as you continue.

A direct introduction is also an opportunity to express your gratitude for being chosen to speak at the wedding. Even if you don't feel particularly honoured, it is a polite and respectful gesture to acknowledge the couple's choice. For example, you could say: "Thank you to the bride and groom for giving me the opportunity to speak here today. It means a lot to be able to share this special day with them". This will show your appreciation and set a positive tone for the rest of your speech.

Finally, a simple, direct introduction can be a great way to transition into the rest of your speech. After introducing yourself and your relationship with the couple, you can smoothly move on to your main points. For instance, you could say: "As the bride's sister, I've had the privilege of witnessing their relationship blossom over the years. I've seen the joy and love they bring to each other's lives, and I couldn't be happier for them". This will help to create a seamless flow in your speech and demonstrate the thought that went into your preparation.

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Prepare in advance, but don't wing it

Wedding speeches can be nerve-wracking, but preparing in advance can help you feel more confident. While it's good to be spontaneous, winging it is not recommended. Here are some tips to help you prepare:

Outline Your Speech

Start by brainstorming your ideas and anecdotes. You can use a giant sheet of paper or a mind-mapping app to organise your thoughts. Structure your speech like a story with a beginning, middle, and end. A simple structure to follow is an introduction, three supporting paragraphs, and a conclusion. Within each section, use the rule of threes and provide only a few examples to support your message.

Write and Edit

Once you have an outline, begin writing your speech. Remember, this doesn't have to be a perfect literary masterpiece. Instead, focus on being heartfelt and sincere. Include both members of the couple in your speech, and make sure it's less about you and more about them. Keep in mind that you're writing something to be spoken aloud, so practice reading your speech aloud to identify any awkward phrasing and edit it to sound more natural.

Peer Review

After writing your speech, find a trusted friend or two to read it to. This will help you identify areas that need improvement and understand how your words will land with your audience. You can also ask the married couple about their relationship, significant moments, and any boundaries on sensitive topics.

Practice and Refine

Don't rely solely on liquid courage to get you through your speech. Instead, practice your delivery and refine your speech accordingly. The more you practice, the more comfortable and confident you'll feel when delivering your speech. Remember to eat and drink in moderation before your speech to maintain your energy and focus.

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Make it personal

Making your wedding speech personal is a great way to make the couple feel loved and appreciated. It's their big day, so the focus should be on them and their union, but that doesn't mean you can't add your own unique perspective and personality to your speech.

Start with an introduction, and make sure to include your name and your relationship to the couple. You could also add a joke or a light-hearted comment to relax yourself and the audience. A sentimental quote about love or a favourite quote you share with the couple is another great way to begin.

Share your perspective on the couple, but make sure it's about them and not you. Talk about who they were before they met, their synergy, and their individual and collective growth. Include anecdotes and stories that showcase their strength of character and resilience. You could even share a few texts or messages that give a timeline of their relationship and falling in love. Make sure to include both the bride and the groom in your speech, and not just your relationship to one of them.

Add your own fun memories and experiences with the couple to make the speech more interesting and entertaining. Include humour by sharing a joke or a funny anecdote, but make sure it's not a generic joke that you found online. Keep the crowd relaxed and ease your own public-speaking anxiety by sharing something light-hearted and funny.

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Frequently asked questions

No, you don't need to be a good writer or public speaker. The most important thing is to be heartfelt and original. This is likely to be the easiest crowd you'll ever speak in front of—they want to laugh and cry and are already on your side.

It's a good idea to introduce yourself, even if most of the guests probably already know who you are. You can make a joke if you're feeling tense, or reference how important the day is. For example: "Hi, I'm [name]—you should probably all know who I am, and if you don't, well done for sneaking in unnoticed."

Your speech should be about the couple, not you. It should be sincere and can be funny, but it doesn't have to be. You can include stories and anecdotes, but make sure they show off the couple's strength of character or resilience, rather than just being embarrassing.

Start by gathering your thoughts, anecdotes, and stories. You can use a giant sheet of paper to brainstorm, or an app like MindVector. Write your speech in advance and get it on paper. Keep in mind that it's something that will be spoken aloud—flowery language might look good on the page but feel clunky when read out. It's a good idea to practice reading your speech aloud and change any awkward phrasing to something more natural.

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