Ring Bearer Setting: A Wedding Tradition

A ring bearer is a wedding party role typically given to young children, usually boys aged between 3 and 8. The child walks down the aisle carrying the wedding rings, usually on a pillow, and presents them to the bride and groom during the ceremony. The ring bearer is often a close relative or friend of the couple, such as a niece, nephew, or child of a close friend. The role is symbolic, adding a touch of innocence and charm to the wedding, and entrusting a young child with this responsibility is thought to symbolise a hopeful future for the couple.

Who can be a ring bearer?

A ring bearer is a role traditionally given to a young boy, usually between the ages of 2 and 8, who is a family member or a child of the couple's wedding party. However, this role can be performed by anyone the couple chooses, including girls, adults, and even pets.

If the couple is having a page boy, it is customary for him to act as the ring bearer, walking up the aisle with the rings tied to a small pillow. The ring bearer usually walks after the last bridesmaid and before the flower girl, if there is one.

It is important to note that the ring bearer role is not essential, and the best man can also be entrusted with keeping the wedding rings safe until the ceremony.

When choosing a ring bearer, the couple should consider the child's maturity and comfort with being in the spotlight. It is also crucial to communicate with the child's parents and ensure they are willing to take on the responsibility of preparing the child for their role.

Additionally, the couple may want to consider the ring bearer's outfit, which should complement the wedding attire and venue. The ring bearer's parents typically pay for the outfit, but the couple may choose to purchase it as a gift.

What does a ring bearer wear?

The ring bearer's outfit should be consistent with the rest of the wedding party. It should match the level of formality of the event and be within the same colour scheme.

The most common approach is for the ring bearer to wear a miniature version of the groom's outfit. This could be a tiny tuxedo, a suit, or even a pair of khakis with a bow tie and suspenders. The ring bearer essentially becomes a 'mini-groom', which is a cute way to make the child feel special and included.

If the same style is not available in children's sizes, it is possible to dress the ring bearer in a very similar style. Alternatively, the ring bearer can wear the same outfit as the groomsmen, or even something completely different to make them stand out.

If the ring bearer is too small for a tuxedo, they can wear just the pants, a shirt, a bow tie, suspenders, and shoes.

It is traditional for the ring bearer's parents to pay for their outfit, but if your wedding budget allows, you may offer to pay for the ring bearer's outfit if you want them to wear something expensive.

A ring bearer gift is a thoughtful gesture, so you may also opt to purchase the outfit or an accessory that could become a cherished memento.

How should the ring bearer carry the rings?

The ring bearer is usually a young boy between the ages of three and ten. However, this is not a strict rule, and you can choose a ring bearer outside of this age range based on their maturity and ability to handle the responsibility. The ring bearer is typically a close relative or friend of the couple, such as a nephew, godson, cousin, or the child of a close friend.

The ring bearer traditionally carries the rings on a pillow, but this is not required. Couples can choose to be creative and use an alternative that represents them, such as a softball glove, a box, a ring dish, or a banner. It is also common for the ring bearer to carry fake rings, while the best man or maid of honour carries the real rings to avoid the risk of losing them.

The ring bearer walks down the aisle after the wedding party and delivers the rings to the best man, best woman, or wedding officiant. If the ring bearer is very young, they may be carried by their parent or pulled in a wagon or small car. Alternatively, the flower girls can escort them.

The ring bearer should be given clear instructions on whom to give the rings to and how to get there. In a traditional processional, the ring bearer follows the maid, matron, or person of honour, entering just before the flower girl.

After presenting the rings, the ring bearer will typically stand with the wedding party for the duration of the ceremony. If the ring bearer is too young to stand for an extended period, they may be seated with their parents.

Should the ring bearer carry the real rings?

The ring bearer is a wedding party role typically given to young children who precede the bride down the aisle, often walking at the same time as the flower girl. The ring bearer carries the wedding rings on a pillow, in a box, or in another creative container, and hands them to the officiant or best man once they reach the altar.

Whether or not the ring bearer should carry the real wedding rings is a matter of personal preference and depends on various factors. Here are some considerations to help you decide:

Age and Maturity

The age and maturity of the ring bearer are crucial factors to consider. Traditionally, ring bearers are between three and eight years old. If your ring bearer falls within this age range, you may want to opt for fake rings or give them an empty pillow or decorative sign to hold. This reduces the risk of losing or damaging the real rings. However, if your ring bearer is older and you feel they can handle the responsibility, you may decide to trust them with the actual rings.

Level of Comfort and Trust

Another factor to consider is your level of comfort and trust with the ring bearer. If you have a close relationship with the child and believe they are responsible enough to handle the real rings, you may feel more confident in letting them carry the genuine article. On the other hand, if you are unsure about their reliability or feel anxious about the possibility of losing the rings, fake rings or an empty pillow might be a better option.

Security and Peace of Mind

Ultimately, the decision comes down to your personal preference and what will give you the most peace of mind on your wedding day. If having the real rings with the ring bearer will cause you unnecessary stress, it is perfectly acceptable to go with fake rings or an empty pillow. You can still include the ring bearer in the ceremony without putting the actual rings at risk.

Logistics and Timing

The logistics of handing over the rings to the ring bearer just before the ceremony is another factor to consider. If you decide to give the ring bearer the real rings, ensure that someone from the wedding party or your wedding planner is responsible for handing them over right before the ring bearer walks down the aisle. This reduces the risk of losing the rings and ensures they are securely returned to you after the ceremony.

Alternative Options

If you are hesitant to give the ring bearer the real rings, there are several alternative options to consider. You can have the best man carry the real rings on their person, ensuring they are readily available during the ceremony. Another option is to tie plastic or fake rings to the pillow or box, giving the ring bearer the full experience without the risk. You can also get creative with signs, such as "Ring Security" or "Has Anyone Seen the Rings?" which adds a playful touch without the need for real rings.

In conclusion, the decision of whether the ring bearer should carry the real wedding rings depends on various factors, including the age and maturity of the child, your level of trust and comfort, and your personal preference for security and peace of mind. Ultimately, the choice is yours, and you can make the decision that best suits your wedding and ensures a memorable and enjoyable experience for all involved.

What are the duties of a ring bearer?

A ring bearer is a cherished and adorable part of any wedding ceremony. This role is typically given to young children, usually boys, who are close relatives or friends of the couple, such as nieces, nephews, or children of close friends. The ring bearer's main duty is to present the wedding rings to the bride and groom during the ceremony, adding a touch of innocence and charm to the wedding. Here is a detailed breakdown of the duties of a ring bearer:

Choosing the Ring Bearer

When selecting a ring bearer, consider the child's temperament, maturity, and ability to handle the pressure of performing in front of a large crowd. It is also essential to have a backup plan in case the child becomes overwhelmed or unable to fulfil their duties on the wedding day. While traditionally a boy, the role of ring bearer can be performed by a girl or even a well-behaved pet.

Duties Before the Wedding

The ring bearer should attend the wedding rehearsal and any pre-wedding events to familiarise themselves with their role and the wedding party members. They should also try on their outfit and practice walking down the aisle with the ring pillow to build confidence and comfort. It is crucial to communicate clearly with the ring bearer and their parents about the wedding day schedule and the timing of their role in the ceremony to avoid confusion or delays.

Walking Down the Aisle

On the wedding day, the ring bearer will typically walk down the aisle after the bridesmaids and groomsmen, carrying the ring pillow with the wedding rings attached. They should walk slowly and confidently, usually ahead of the flower girl or immediately before the bride.

Presenting the Rings

Once at the altar, the ring bearer will present the ring pillow to the best man or the couple when it is time to exchange rings. In some cases, the ring bearer may carry fake rings, with the real rings entrusted to the best man or maid of honour, reducing the risk of losing expensive jewellery.

Standing with the Wedding Party

After presenting the rings, the ring bearer will typically stand with the wedding party for the duration of the ceremony. However, if the ring bearer is too young, they may be seated with their parents or a family member. The ring bearer's parents should be seated along the aisle and near the front so the child can see them for reassurance.

Participating in Photos and the Entrance

The ring bearer should be present for photos with the wedding party after the ceremony. Depending on their age and comfort level, they may also join the grand entrance during the introduction of the wedding party.

Outfit and Accessories

The ring bearer's outfit should complement the wedding party's attire and be comfortable for the child to wear, considering the weather and venue conditions. Formal wear, such as a small tux, pants, suspenders, a bow tie, and a hat, are popular choices. The ring bearer's parents are typically responsible for purchasing the outfit and accessories.

Frequently asked questions