Bridesmaids' Duties: Support, Plan, And Celebrate!

Being a bridesmaid is a huge honour, but it also comes with a lot of responsibilities. The main duty of a bridesmaid is to support the bride, but there are many other tasks that are part of the role. From helping to plan pre-wedding events and offering emotional support, to ensuring the bride looks perfect on the day and even providing back-up hostess duties, it's a varied and important role. So, what exactly does it take to be a bridesmaid?

Planning and paying for pre-wedding events

Pre-wedding events include the bridal shower, the bachelorette party, and the rehearsal dinner. For the bridal shower and bachelorette party, bridesmaids are expected to help plan and pay for the bride's expenses. This could include helping to secure travel plans, accommodations, activities, and transportation, as well as chipping in for costs. For the rehearsal dinner, bridesmaids don't need to do much beyond following the suggested dress code, listening to speeches, and enjoying the meal.

In addition to these events, bridesmaids are also expected to attend other pre-wedding activities such as engagement parties, couples' showers, and wedding DIY sessions.

• Communicate openly and honestly with the bride and the rest of the bridal party about your financial situation and what you are able to contribute.
• Be proactive and offer your help early on in the planning process.
• If you can't afford to contribute financially, look for other ways to help, such as offering to handle reservations, buying decorations, or creating a detailed itinerary for the group.
• If possible, try to take a few days off work before the wedding to be available for any last-minute tasks or events.
• Remember that each bride is different and may have distinct expectations, so it's important to check in with her regularly and offer your support.
• Turn pre-wedding events into an excuse for brunch, cake, and/or cocktails to keep things fun and enjoyable for everyone involved!

Buying a bridesmaid dress

One of the first things a bridesmaid does is choose her wedding day outfit. In most cases, the couple will give guidelines about what to wear, and you might even go shopping as a group with the other bridesmaids. Whether you're wearing matching bridesmaid dresses or choosing your own attire, it's best to get this out of the way early before the wedding, in case you need to order special items or find time for alterations.

Start Early

It is recommended that you purchase your bridesmaid dress at least six months before the wedding. This will allow time for shipping delays, alterations, and fittings. If you're a bride, you should select the dresses at least eight months in advance to give your bridesmaids ample time to order.

Know Your Measurements

Have your measurements ready when shopping for a bridesmaid dress. Your measurements will help you narrow down your options and find the right fit. You can refer to the size guide on the retailer's website, but keep in mind that bridesmaid sizes often differ from your regular dress size.

Order Fabric Swatches

Many online retailers offer fabric swatches, which can be helpful in deciding on the colour and fabric of your dress. Seeing the fabric in person can make or break your decision. Compare the swatches to the bride's wedding look to ensure your dress complements the wedding colour palette and theme.

Set a Budget

Bridesmaid dresses can range in price, typically starting at $100 and going up to $300 or more. Discuss budget expectations with the bride and other bridesmaids early on. It is customary for bridesmaids to cover the cost of their own dresses, but there are no set rules, and the couple may offer to contribute.

Shop Around

There are many online retailers that offer a wide range of bridesmaid dress styles, colours, and sizes. Some popular options include Birdy Grey, Azazie, Lulus, Anthropologie, Reformation, Kennedy Blue, Show Me Your Mumu, Revelry, ASOS, Jenny Yoo, Watters, The Dessy Group, Nordstrom, and REVOLVE. These retailers often provide helpful services like virtual styling appointments, free swatches, and flexible return policies.

Consider the Wedding Theme and Season

Choose a dress style that complements the wedding theme and season. For example, opt for elegant and cozy dresses with longer sleeves for a formal winter wedding, or breathable and lightweight dresses for a summer garden wedding.

Mix and Match

You don't necessarily need to wear matching dresses with the other bridesmaids. Mismatched bridesmaid dresses are a popular trend and allow each person to choose a style that flatters their body type and makes them feel comfortable. You can still maintain a cohesive look by choosing dresses within the same colour palette or from the same designer.

Being there for the bride

Being a bridesmaid is a huge honour, but it also comes with a lot of responsibility. The most important duty is to be there for the bride, offering support and assistance throughout the entire wedding planning process. Here are some ways to ensure you're there for the bride:

Emotional Support

The bride will likely experience a rollercoaster of emotions during the wedding planning process, so it's important to be a listening ear and provide emotional support. Be prepared for the occasional venting session and be a shoulder to cry on. Offer solutions to help alleviate stress, such as suggesting a break from wedding planning to do something fun and relaxing.

Planning Assistance

While it's not your wedding, offering to help with the planning can take a huge burden off the bride's shoulders. This could include assisting with vendor searches, providing opinions on wedding attire, or taking on specific tasks like addressing invitations or assembling favours. Be mindful of the bride's vision and preferences, and always offer help in a positive and supportive manner.

Pre-Wedding Events

Attend as many pre-wedding events as possible, including the engagement party, bridal shower, bachelorette party, and rehearsal dinner. These events are important for celebrating the bride-to-be and showing your support. If you're unable to attend all events, communicate your availability and offer alternative ways to help, such as chipping in for group gifts or assisting with event setup and cleanup.

Financial Contribution

Being a bridesmaid can be financially demanding, so it's essential to be mindful of your budget. Discuss financial expectations early on with the bride and other bridesmaids. Be transparent about your budget constraints and offer to contribute in other ways if necessary. Chipping in for group gifts or splitting the cost of pre-wedding activities can help reduce the financial burden on everyone.

Practical Support

On the day of the wedding, be prepared to lend a helping hand with practical tasks. This could include keeping the bride calm and happy, ensuring she has snacks and water, helping her get dressed, and providing an emergency kit for any last-minute needs. Offer to assist the maid of honour with coordinating tasks and keeping the wedding party on schedule.

Remember, being a bridesmaid is ultimately about supporting your friend and making sure she feels loved and celebrated during this exciting time in her life. Offer help where you can, be flexible, and always maintain a positive and cheerful attitude.

Being there for the maid of honour

Being a bridesmaid is a major honour, but it also comes with a lot of responsibilities. One of the most important duties of a bridesmaid is to be there for the maid of honour. Here are some ways you can support the maid of honour:

Offer to Help

The maid of honour has a lot on her plate, from planning the bachelorette party to holding the bride's bouquet at the wedding. As a bridesmaid, you can offer to lend a helping hand whenever possible. Whether it's coordinating flights and hotels for the bridal party or creating a wedding-day emergency kit, your assistance will be greatly appreciated.

Be Positive and Supportive

Planning a wedding can be stressful for the maid of honour, so it's essential to maintain a positive and supportive attitude. Offer a listening ear when the maid of honour needs to vent or share her worries. Suggest fun activities or distractions to help alleviate some of the wedding planning stress, such as a coffee date or a movie marathon.

Help with Planning and Organising

While the maid of honour takes the lead on planning, bridesmaids can provide valuable support. Offer to help with event planning, such as organising flights and accommodations for a destination bachelorette party. Assist with the bridal shower by offering ideas, decorating, or chipping in financially. Be proactive in communicating with the maid of honour and other bridesmaids to ensure everyone is on the same page.

Be Punctual and Prepared

Timeliness is crucial, especially on the wedding day. Make sure you arrive on time for all pre-wedding events and the wedding day itself. Be prepared with your dress, shoes, and accessories, and don't forget to pack an emergency kit for last-minute touch-ups. Your punctuality and preparedness will help ensure the day goes smoothly and calmly for the maid of honour and the bride.

Lend a Hand on the Wedding Day

On the big day, the maid of honour will have a lot on her plate, so be ready to jump in and help wherever needed. This may include assisting with the bride's dress, coordinating with vendors, or ensuring the couple eats and drinks during the reception. Work together with the maid of honour to create a seamless and memorable day for the happy couple.

Attending the wedding ceremony and reception

On the wedding day, it's your job to make sure everything goes smoothly for the bride, her maid of honour, and the majority of the wedding guests. Here's how:

Get ready with the bride

Plan to show up at the designated getting-ready location on time, with all of your gear (bridesmaid attire, shoes, jewellery, makeup, undergarments, etc.) in hand. Besides getting yourself aisle-ready, do whatever you can to assist the bride, such as:

• Keeping her smiling, laughing, calm, and collected
• Answering any incoming texts, calls, or logistical questions for her
• Making sure she eats something and stays hydrated
• Pouring celebratory bubbly for everyone to enjoy
• Keeping hair and/or makeup appointments on track
• Helping her into her dress
• Assisting her with her shoes, jewellery, or veil

Assist the maid of honour

The maid of honour has a big job on the wedding day. Bridesmaids should serve as her right-hand ladies, helping out with whatever tasks are needed—whether that's making a last-minute run to the drugstore, coordinating with the photographer or wedding planner, or providing (and keeping track of) a wedding day emergency kit.

Provide getting-ready snacks

If no other arrangements have been made for getting-ready sips and snacks, the bridesmaids should take it upon themselves to provide these treats. Everyone—from the bride to her mother to even the photographer and beauty stylists—will appreciate the gesture and benefit from some food and drink throughout the busy day.

Be the 'bride tribe'

Bridesmaids should embody the concept of being the support crew for the bride and the maid of honour in all ways during the big day. They can also serve as a point of contact for guests and vendors when it's helpful. Here are some tasks the bridesmaids can cover to be of service:

• Double-check that all members of the wedding party and any special family members have their personal flowers (bouquets, boutonnieres, corsages, flower crowns, or toss petals). Assist with pinning on boutonnieres or other floral accessories as needed.
• Help guests navigate the venue, such as directing them to parking areas, bathrooms, handicap access, exits, and, if applicable, the bar or refreshments station.
• Stand near the gift table, guest book, or wedding favours to help direct and facilitate guests' participation.

Participate in the ceremony

Bridesmaids should be in place at the ceremony venue on time, (most likely hidden out of sight), and ready for their cues to process down the aisle. Keep chatter to a minimum and be respectful of the planner, officiant, or whomever is running the show. During the actual ceremony, be sure to hit your rehearsed mark, fulfil any other roles you've been assigned during the actual service, and then process out of the ceremony according to plan.

If the wedding party didn't pose for photographs with the happy couple before the ceremony, these group photos usually occur right after the ceremony at the beginning of the cocktail hour. Rather than dispersing into the crowd, bridesmaids should stick together and be ready to follow the photographer's commands—gathering stray folks for these shots can be tiresome, not to mention steal precious minutes away from the couple's ability to enjoy their cocktail hour.

Be model guests (and the life of the party)

Bridesmaids should mingle and chat with other guests, enjoy the food and drinks offered, sit down at their dinner table when asked, participate in guest-related activities like signing the guest book or visiting the photo booth, listen to, applaud, and/or give any speeches (that have been pre-arranged), witness the special dances, and boogie down (tastefully) when it's dance floor time.

Maintain a stress-free send-off

Finally, bridesmaids should help the maid of honour, coordinator, or the couple's parents assemble any items that need to be transported out of the reception venue at the end of the night. These packables might include:

• Any getting-ready clothing or gear
• Extra/unused ceremony programs, favours, or sparklers
• Any decor or signage that was personally provided (not rented)
• The bride and/or bridesmaids' bouquets
• Wedding cards and gifts
• Special toasting flutes, cake servers, or cake plates
• A basket of late-night leftovers (packaged by the caterer)
• The top tier of the wedding cake
• A few slices of late-night wedding cake (packaged by the caterer)
• The bride and/or groom's wedding attire, if they've changed into getaway clothes

In addition to making sure the above items leave the venue in the right vehicle(s), bridesmaids can lend a hand with these final logistical tasks:

• Make sure all guests make it onto the right shuttle buses, find their cars, or otherwise make it safely out of the venue.
• Hand out pre-addressed tip envelopes to the vendors.
• Make sure the bride and/or groom's overnight bags make it to their wedding night hotel room.
• Organise guests to the after-party, if there is one.

Frequently asked questions