The Honeymoon Phase: What's Next?

Being a newlywed is a time of excitement, elation and increased self-esteem. But what happens to newlyweds after the honeymoon period? While some couples continue to behave as they did while dating, others may feel comfortable enough to let it all hang out. Newlyweds may experience a rollercoaster of emotions, from excitement to trepidation and even a sense of anticlimax. They may also feel societal pressure to have children early in their marriage.

The time frame during which a married couple is considered newlywed varies, but for social science research purposes, it may be considered as up to six months into the marriage.

Newlyweds experience a happiness boost

The time frame during which a married couple is considered newlywed varies, but for social science research purposes, it may be considered as up to six months into the marriage. Newlyweds experience a "happiness boost" that lasts for the first two years of marriage on average, with happiness levels then returning to pre-marriage levels.

The Marital Relationship is the Most Important Relationship for Happiness

The marital relationship (as opposed to other familial relationships, friendships, or work relationships) is the most important relationship in causing happiness in newlyweds. Researchers generally contend that "early in marriage, newly married couples are affectionate, very much in love, and relatively free of excessive conflict, a state that might be called 'blissful harmony'".

High Levels of Love and Commitment

The "high levels of love and commitment" experienced by newlyweds are "relatively stable during the first year of marriage". Many newlyweds experience feelings of elation, an increase in self-esteem, and a more secure attachment style after the start of their marriage.

Honeymoon Period

Many newlyweds, especially in Western cultures, take a vacation in the immediate wake of the wedding, known as a honeymoon. The honeymoon is part of the wedding ritual in Great Britain and the United States. This can be a time to further strengthen the marital bond and experience new places and activities together.

Challenges and Adjustments

While newlyweds experience a happiness boost, they may also face challenges and adjustments as they integrate their individual lives into a newly combined social, financial, and legal status. These adjustments can lead to a stronger and more stable relationship over time.

Integrating individual lives can be stressful

Newlyweds are people who have recently entered into a marriage. The time frame for being considered a newlywed varies, but for social science research purposes, it may be considered as up to six months into the marriage. Newlyweds are generally very happy, with high levels of love and commitment that remain stable during the first year of marriage. However, integrating individual lives can be stressful, and this stress can lead to biological alterations. Here are some challenges that newlyweds face when integrating their individual lives:

Combining Social, Financial, and Legal Status

Newlyweds must navigate combining their social lives, finances, and legal status. This includes managing finances together, making joint purchases, and navigating differences in household responsibilities and expectations. They may also face pressure to have children early in their marriage.

Adjusting to Living Together

Living together for the first time after marriage can be challenging. Newlyweds must learn to share their space, adjust to each other's habits and routines, and compromise on their cleaning and living habits. They must also navigate the dynamics of extended family and in-law relationships.

Balancing Time Together and Apart

Finding a balance between spending time together and having personal space is crucial for newlyweds. They may need to adjust to checking in with each other and being accountable to one another about their comings and goings. It's important to make time for each other, even when busy, and to connect on a deeper level.

Sexual Performance Pressures

Particularly in cultures where couples are expected to refrain from sexual activity before marriage, newlyweds may face pressure to engage in regular and mutually satisfying sexual activity after marriage.

Individual Differences and Conflicts

Newlyweds may discover previously unknown conflicts between their beliefs and expectations. They must be willing to compromise and find solutions together. Effective communication, mutual understanding, and flexibility are essential for navigating these challenges.

Sexual performance pressures

Newlyweds often experience performance anxiety, which can be a source of stress and pressure. This anxiety can stem from a variety of factors, including poor body image, relationship problems, and the fear of not satisfying one's partner. It is important to note that this type of anxiety is not limited to men, as women can also experience it.

For some, the pressure to perform can be overwhelming, leading to a cycle of anxiety and sexual dysfunction. This can manifest in different ways, such as erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, or a lack of interest in sex. It is crucial to address these issues and seek help if necessary, as they can hinder one's ability to enjoy a healthy and fulfilling sex life.

To overcome sexual performance anxiety, one can consider the following strategies:

• Seek professional help: Consult a doctor or therapist to discuss your concerns and explore possible treatments. This may involve medication, psychotherapy, or a combination of both.
• Be open with your partner: Communicating your anxiety to your partner can help ease your worries and strengthen your bond. Working together to find solutions can improve your sexual relationship.
• Explore non-sexual intimacy: Learn to be intimate without intercourse. Try giving sensual massages, taking warm baths together, or exploring mutual masturbation. This can take the pressure off performance and allow you to focus on pleasure.
• Exercise: Working out can improve your body image and boost your stamina in bed. It also helps reduce stress and improve overall well-being.
• Distract yourself: Try listening to romantic music or watching sexy movies during sex. Focusing on something that turns you on can help take your mind off performance anxiety.
• Practice self-compassion: Avoid being too hard on yourself. Instead, focus on seeking help to manage your anxiety and regain a healthy and enjoyable sex life.

By implementing these strategies, newlyweds can work towards reducing sexual performance pressure and improving their sexual experiences. It is important to remember that sex should be about pleasure and intimacy rather than solely performance.

Navigating joint purchases

Newlyweds have a lot of financial decisions to make, including how to manage their money together. There are several options for joint purchases, each with its own pros and cons. Here are some things to consider when navigating joint purchases as a newlywed couple:

Joint Bank Accounts

One option for newlyweds is to open a joint bank account, which can be an easy way to share finances. This option is especially useful for couples who share rent, mortgage, or other bills. Both partners will have access to the shared funds in the account and can make payments or transfers as needed. Some banks may have requirements for opening a joint account, such as a minimum opening deposit or an existing account with the bank. It's important to weigh the pros and cons of joint accounts, as they offer less privacy and limited spending channels compared to separate accounts. Additionally, severe debt on a joint account may lead to garnishments or bank levies.

Joint Credit Cards

Another option for joint purchases is to get a joint credit card, although these are not offered as widely anymore. Most credit card companies now prefer to approve credit cards for individuals based on their personal credit history. However, couples can still use a two-player strategy by making each other authorized users on their respective cards. This allows both partners to make charges and build credit, but only the primary cardholder is responsible for paying the bill. It's important to consider the fees associated with credit cards, such as annual fees and foreign transaction fees, when deciding which card to get.

Combining Finances

When deciding how to manage joint purchases, newlyweds should consider their level of comfort with combining finances. For some couples, having separate accounts and maintaining financial independence is important. Others may prefer to combine all their income into a single joint account, especially if they have similar spending habits and long-term financial goals. In some cases, couples may opt for a hybrid approach, having both joint and separate accounts to balance shared expenses and financial independence. This approach can be especially useful when one partner is not working or has a significantly lower income.

Communication and Planning

Effective communication and financial planning are crucial for navigating joint purchases as a newlywed couple. Discussing spending habits, financial goals, and budget constraints can help couples make informed decisions about their money. Creating a shared budget and setting long-term financial goals together can ensure that both partners are on the same page. Additionally, consulting each other on larger purchases and being transparent about spending can help build trust and avoid conflict.

In conclusion, navigating joint purchases as a newlywed couple involves making decisions about joint bank accounts, credit cards, and the level of financial combination. Effective communication, financial planning, and consideration of each partner's needs and goals are key to successful money management in a marriage.

Transitioning back to normal life

Check in with yourself and your partner

Take some time to reflect on how you feel now that you're married. Be honest with yourself about any changing expectations you may have. It's important to communicate these feelings to your partner as well. They may be experiencing similar emotions or adjustments. Be patient with each other and give each other space to navigate this new phase.

Manage stress and expectations

The first year of marriage is often considered the hardest, even for couples who have lived together pre-marriage. This period can bring a host of new challenges, from integrating individual lives to navigating societal expectations. It's crucial to address these challenges together and manage stress effectively.

Make time for fun and intimacy

Don't let the seriousness of marriage overwhelm the fun and joy in your relationship. Set aside time to be silly and playful together, just as you did when you were dating. Rekindle the spark by prioritising sexual intimacy and creating new, special memories.

Navigate family dynamics

In the early years of marriage, newlyweds often prefer to seek emotional support from their own families rather than their spouse's. This is normal, and it's important to respect each other's boundaries and preferences when it comes to family involvement. Additionally, be mindful of the impact your in-laws may have on your relationship, as their level of involvement and the type of information they share can affect your marital dynamic.

Address financial considerations

Discuss financial expectations and goals early on. Making major purchases or financial decisions together can be exciting, but it can also be a source of disagreement if you haven't established clear communication about money. Create a budget, discuss short-term and long-term financial goals, and work together to build a secure future.

Seek support

If you're struggling with the transition, consider seeking support from a premarital counsellor or therapist. They can provide valuable guidance and tools to help you navigate the challenges of newlywed life and build a strong foundation for your marriage.

Remember, the transition back to normal life after the wedding is a process, and it's unique for every couple. Be patient with yourself and your partner, and don't be afraid to reach out for help if needed.

Frequently asked questions