Franklin Dean
Amish wedding nights are far from the typical wedding night. The couple spends their first night together at the bride's parents' house, as they will need to help clean up the following day. They will then spend the next few months, or their honeymoon, visiting relatives and collecting wedding gifts. The Amish wedding night is also an opportunity for the couple to bond with the family.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Where the night is spent | Bride's parents' home |
| Who is present | Family |
| Activities | Talking with family, pranks |
| Honeymoon | Visiting relatives |
| Gifts | Useful items |
What You'll Learn
The wedding night is spent at the bride's parents' house
The Amish wedding night is a far cry from the typical English ceremony. The Amish wedding day begins at 4 am, with cows to be milked and other farm chores to be done. Helpers arrive by 6:30 am to take care of last-minute details, and the wedding party has usually finished breakfast and changed into their wedding clothes by 7 am. The ceremony takes place in the bride's home, with around 200 to 600 guests in attendance. The bride and groom are seated in a corner, known as the "Eck", with the bridal party. The meal served is a typical Amish fare, including fried or broasted chicken, mashed potatoes, and gravy. The guests stay for two meals: supper and dinner.
The Amish wedding ceremony is a religious affair, presided over by the Bishop and ministers. The couple takes their vows before the church, and the bishop gives them advice, private instruction, and his blessing. The bride and groom then give their vows at the front of the church. After a final prayer, the wedding party and guests return to the bride's family home for the festivities.
The bride's dress is typically blue or purple, a colour she will also wear for her Sunday church attire and, eventually, her burial dress. The groom and his attendants wear black suits with white shirts and black shoes and stockings. The wedding party plays a vital role in the day's events, helping with tasks such as caring for guests' horses, serving food, and clearing dishes.
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The couple's first months of marriage are spent visiting relatives
The couple's first night as a married couple is spent at the bride's parents' house, as they will need to help clean up the following day. Their honeymoon is then spent visiting relatives and friends who attended the wedding. This will take several weekends, and they will receive wedding presents as they make these rounds. They will visit several homes each weekend, staying overnight for breakfast the following day, having the noon meal at a second place, and going to a third place for supper. They will then spend Saturday night at a fourth place, having Sunday breakfast at a fifth, Sunday dinner at a sixth, and then returning to the bride's parents' home.
The couple will live at the home of the bride's parents until they can set up their own household the following spring. Typically, they will receive useful items such as dishware, cookware, canned food, tools, and other household items as gifts.
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The bride's wedding dress is new and often blue
The Amish wedding season takes place towards the end of the year, after the harvest season ends. The Amish bride's dress is always new and, in some communities, she chooses the colour. However, blue is the most common colour for bridal dresses, with navy blue, sky blue and shades of purple being the most popular. White is rarely used as the dress colour in Amish weddings. The bride's dress is plain, calf-length, with no lace or trim, and no train. The bride also wears a cape and an apron, usually white, over her dress. Instead of a veil, she wears a black prayer covering.
The bride typically makes her own dress and those of her bridesmaids, known as newehockers. After the wedding, the bride's dress becomes her Sunday church attire. It is also the dress she will be buried in when she dies.
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The wedding ceremony is held at the bride's home
Amish weddings are traditionally held at the bride's family home, with the ceremony taking place in the meeting or church room. The wedding ceremony starts around 8:30 in the morning and lasts 3-3.5 hours. The congregation will sing hymns while the minister counsels the bride and groom in another part of the house. After the minister and the young couple return, a prayer, Scripture reading, and sermon take place. The sermon is typically very long.
After the sermon, the minister questions the couple about their upcoming marriage, similar to taking wedding vows. The minister then blesses the couple, and other ordained men and the fathers of the bride and groom may give a testimony about marriage. A final prayer concludes the ceremony.
The bride's family home is also where the festivities, including meals, games, and visiting, take place. The women rush to the kitchen to prepare the food, while the men set up tables in a U-shape around the living room walls. The tables are set at least twice to accommodate all the guests. The meals typically include a range of Pennsylvania Dutch recipes, such as roast chicken with bread stuffing, mashed potatoes, creamed celery, coleslaw, applesauce, pies, donuts, fruit salad, and more.
The bride and groom's first night together is usually spent at the bride's home, as they will need to help with the cleanup the following day. They will then spend their honeymoon visiting relatives on the weekends throughout the winter, collecting most of their wedding gifts during this time.
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The wedding meal is a traditional Amish feast
The Amish wedding meal usually consists of two large meals, served at noon and in the evening, with enough food to feed 200-600 people. The meals are prepared and served with the help of the community. A cooking tent is often set up to accommodate the portable stoves and food preparation areas needed for such large groups. The tables are usually set up in a U-shape, with a special corner table, known as the "eck", arranged for the newly married couple to sit and eat at.
The menu typically includes roast or "Amish Casserole" (chicken and stuffing), mashed potatoes, creamed celery, coleslaw, applesauce, dinner rolls, pears, doughnuts, and pies. The food is all grown and cooked at the bride's home, with no store-bought ingredients. Days before the wedding, the families harvest celery to prepare the traditional creamed celery dish, which is passed down from generation to generation.
After the first meal, the guests gather to sing hymns, usually in the Pennsylvania Dutch language. In some communities, the bride and groom may open their gifts in front of the guests. There is also a custom where single boys choose an eligible single girl as a partner for the rest of the evening's festivities.
The second meal is served in the evening, and the parents of the newlyweds, along with older guests, are served first. This meal typically includes stewed chicken, sweet potatoes, macaroni and cheese, cold cuts, and more sweet Amish desserts, such as fruit pies and sugar cookies. The guests continue socialising and playing games until it's time to head back to their farms.
Frequently asked questions
The newlyweds spend their wedding night at the bride's parents' house as they have to help with the clean-up the following day.
The couple spends the night talking with the family to foster a better bond. In some communities, the couple's bed is decorated with a lantern and a kerosene night light.
The couple's honeymoon is spent visiting the relatives and friends who attended the wedding. They receive wedding presents during these visits.
The bride wears a new dress, usually sewn by her or her mother. The colour varies between communities, but it is not white. Blue, purple, and black are popular choices. The groom wears a black suit, white shirt, black shoes, black stockings, and a black hat with a three-and-a-half-inch brim.
The ceremony is held at the bride's home and can last up to three hours. It involves the singing of hymns, prayers, scripture reading, and a sermon. The couple meets with the minister and is counselled privately. The minister then questions the couple about their marriage and offers a blessing.
