Groomsmen's Guide To Wedding Day Duties

Groomsmen are the groom's VIPs—they are there to support him and ensure the wedding goes smoothly. In the lead-up to the wedding, groomsmen are responsible for planning the bachelor party, attending pre-wedding events, and booking travel and accommodation. On the day itself, they help the groom get ready, act as ushers, assist guests, and decorate the wedding car. They may also be asked to give a speech and dance with bridesmaids. Post-wedding, groomsmen can help with tidying up, transporting gifts, and returning their suits.

Help plan the bachelor party

Planning a bachelor party can be a big deal. It's an event that marks the end of the long pre-wedding preparations and symbolises new beginnings. It's also a rite of passage for the groom-to-be and a chance for him to spend quality time with his closest friends. Here are some tips to help you plan an unforgettable bachelor party:

Start Planning Early:

Begin planning at least three to six months in advance, especially if you're considering a destination bachelor party or a trip to another city. This will give you enough time to make all the necessary arrangements and bookings.

Communicate with the Groom:

Talk to the groom about his preferences, dos, and don'ts. While you can plan some surprises, it's important to involve him in the decision-making process. Discuss the location, dates, activities, and guest list. The groom should have complete control over the guest list and provide contact information for the invitees.

Finalise the Guest List and Send Invitations:

Work with the groom to create a guest list, typically including the groomsmen and the groom's close friends and family members. Send out invitations and create a group chat to keep everyone informed.

Set a Budget:

Discuss the budget with the guests and determine how much each person can contribute. The attendees usually cover their food, lodging, and activities, and it is customary for them to chip in for the groom's share as well.

Choose a Theme or Party Style:

Decide on the overall vibe of the party. Will it be a one-night bar crawl, a multiple-day hiking trip, or a casino weekend in Las Vegas? This will help you choose a location and plan the activities.

Pick a Date and Location:

Select a date that works for the groom and most of the invitees, preferably one to three months before the wedding. Choose a location that offers activities the groom will enjoy, such as outdoor adventures, nightlife, sports events, or culinary experiences.

Book Travel and Accommodations:

If your guest list includes people from out of town or if you're planning a destination bachelor party, book flights and accommodations. Consider renting a house for larger groups, which can be more cost-effective and convenient for meals and transportation.

Plan Food and Drinks:

Choose a menu that includes the groom's favourite foods and drinks. You can go with classics like pizza and burgers or opt for something more unusual. Create a well-stocked bar with craft beers, cocktails, and non-alcoholic options.

Finalise Activities:

Plan a variety of activities that everyone can enjoy, such as brewery tours, winery visits, golf, water sports, or a night out on the town. If the groom enjoys gaming, organise a video game marathon with a fun twist, ensuring he wins!

Buy Party Supplies and Decorations:

Purchase custom t-shirts, photo props, hangover kits, decorations (especially for a themed party), games, and prizes.

Confirm Attendance and Vendors:

A few days before the party, finalise the guest list and confirm with all vendors, including transportation, entertainment, and food.

Capture the Memories:

Hire a professional photographer or set up a DIY photo booth to document the bachelor party and create lasting memories.

Remember, the key to a successful bachelor party is ensuring that the groom has a fantastic time. By following these tips and involving the groom in the planning process, you'll create an unforgettable celebration that he and the guests will cherish for years to come!

Attend pre-wedding events

As a groomsman, you are expected to attend all pre-wedding festivities, including the engagement party, couple's shower, bachelor party, and rehearsal dinner. If you are an out-of-town groomsman, don't worry if you can't make it to every celebration. But if you're in town, be there to cheer the couple on and raise a glass (or the roof, when appropriate).

Engagement Party and Couple's Shower

As a groomsman, your presence and support at these events are crucial. You can also use these occasions to get to know the other members of the wedding party and coordinate any joint tasks or activities.

Bachelor Party

Planning the bachelor party is one of the most important responsibilities for groomsmen. It is typically led by the best man, but all groomsmen play an essential role in its planning. This includes coordinating with the groom on timing, location, guest list, and activities, as well as managing travel and accommodation arrangements for the group. Groomsmen usually cover their expenses and may also contribute to the groom's costs.

Rehearsal Dinner

The rehearsal dinner is another key event for groomsmen to attend. It's a chance to run through the wedding day proceedings and ensure everyone is clear on their roles and responsibilities. Groomsmen may also be asked to give a speech or toast at the rehearsal dinner, so be prepared for that possibility.

Other Pre-Wedding Tasks

In addition to attending these events, groomsmen have other pre-wedding tasks. This includes booking travel and accommodations, selecting and obtaining wedding attire, and staying in touch with the groom to offer assistance. Groomsmen may also be called upon to help with decorations and equipment setup, or running errands in the days leading up to the wedding.

Remember, as a groomsman, your role is to support the groom and ensure they are calm and excited in the lead-up to one of the biggest days of their life. So, be proactive, stay organised, and don't be afraid to pitch in wherever needed!

Book travel and accommodation

As a groomsman, you'll be expected to pay for your own travel and accommodation, as well as your tuxedo and grooming.

If the wedding is a destination wedding, the couple may provide transport to and from the ceremony and reception sites, as well as a shuttle to pick up guests from the airport. They may also host a welcome party and a morning-after brunch.

If the wedding is taking place in the couple's hometown, the couple may offer a spare room at their house or a lift to and from the airport.

If you're booking your own accommodation, it's a good idea to book early to ensure you get the best rates. You can book a block of rooms at a hotel, which involves setting a group of rooms aside at a rate agreed on with the hotel. This saves money and time spent researching. If you're booking a block of rooms, it's a good idea to do this early, especially if the wedding is in a popular location with limited hotels.

When booking a room, don't forget to ask about any special deals or packages that may be available. Some hotels may offer discounts for booking a block of rooms or for booking during off-peak seasons.

Pick up attire

Picking up your attire on time is one of the most important tasks for a groomsman. It's your responsibility to ensure that you have the proper attire for the wedding, whether that's renting a tux, getting a custom jacket made, or buying a tie to match a suit you already own.

• Discuss with the groom and other groomsmen what the wedding attire will be. Consider the formality, theme, style, and location of the wedding when deciding on your attire. For example, if it's a beach wedding, you might wear linen pants and a nice white shirt instead of a tuxedo.
• Factor in the financial situation of the groomsmen when deciding on the formalwear. Groomsmen typically pay for their own attire, so choose something that's accessible to everyone's budget.
• If you're renting a tux or suit, place the order a few months in advance to ensure timely arrival and time for adjustments.
• Don't forget the accessories! A groomsman's attire isn't complete without accessories like belts, suspenders, ties, vests, pocket squares, and cufflinks.
• If you're wearing a tuxedo, consider adding jazzy accessories like bowties, suspenders, vests, or cummerbunds to dress up your look.
• If you're wearing a suit, you can add a pop of personality with cool sneakers or a bold-print tie.
• Give your groomsmen some guidelines, and then let them run with it. For example, pick a specific colour and let them decide on the fit and style of their suit.
• If you want a cohesive look, you can also pick out matching socks, ties, pocket squares, cufflinks, or boutonnieres for your groomsmen to make them feel special on the big day.

Remember, showing up on time and in the right attire is crucial for a groomsman, so make sure you don't drop the ball on this important task!

Be there for the groom

Being a groomsman is a great honour and an important role, so it's essential that you're there for the groom throughout the entire process. Here are some ways to ensure you're providing the groom with the support he needs:

Pre-Wedding

The groom will likely need a lot of support in the lead-up to the wedding, so be sure to be in regular contact and offer to help wherever you can. This could include taking specific tasks off his hands, such as researching venues or suppliers. It's also a good idea to stay on top of your own responsibilities, like attending suit fittings and making travel arrangements, to ensure you're not adding to the groom's stress.

Bachelor Party

Planning the bachelor party is one of the groomsmen's most important duties. While the best man usually takes the lead, it's a team effort, so be prepared to get involved. Work with the other groomsmen to divide and conquer tasks like finding a location, booking accommodation, and choosing activities. It's also customary to chip in for the groom's expenses and to get him a gift.

On the Day

On the wedding day itself, your main priority is to be there for the groom. Help him get ready, calm his nerves, and make sure he has everything he needs. You might also be asked to assist with practical tasks like carrying items, decorating the car, or rounding up guests for photos.

Emotional Support

Remember that the wedding day can be just as nerve-wracking for the groom as it is exciting, so don't underestimate the importance of a hug, a pep talk, or a simple offer to talk. Be mindful of the groom's energy and emotions throughout the day, and do what you can to keep his spirits high.

Post-Wedding

Your duties don't end when the newlyweds leave—there are still a few tasks left to complete. Help with cleaning up, offer rides to guests, and see if there's anything else the couple or their families need before you finally put your feet up.

Frequently asked questions