A Wedding Ceremony: Step-By-Step

A wedding is a momentous occasion, filled with love and emotion. While the specifics of a wedding ceremony can vary depending on cultural and religious traditions, there are some common steps that are typically followed. Here is a step-by-step guide to what usually happens at a wedding:

1. Guests Arrival and Seating: Wedding guests start arriving at the ceremony site up to 45 minutes before the scheduled start time. Ushers play a crucial role in welcoming and guiding guests to their seats, filling up the rows from the front to the back. The first few rows are usually reserved for immediate family members and individuals participating in the ceremony.

2. Seating of Parents: In traditional Christian weddings, the seating order for parents and grandparents is often the groom's grandparents, followed by the groom's parents, and then the mother of the bride. In Jewish weddings, the parents walk in with the bride. They stand under the chuppah during the ceremony.

3. Processional: The processional marks the entrance of the wedding party. In traditional Christian weddings, the groom and groomsmen wait at the altar, while the bridesmaids walk down the aisle one by one, ending with the bride escorted by her father. In Jewish weddings, the groom is escorted by his parents, followed by the bridesmaids and bride, who is accompanied by both her parents.

4. Introductory Remarks: The officiant, who could be a religious figure or a civil celebrant, welcomes the guests and sets the tone for the ceremony. They may share thoughts on marriage, love, and the couple's journey.

5. Opening Ceremony: This includes various rituals and traditions such as lighting a unity candle, exchanging personal vows, or performing symbolic acts like handfasting or jumping the broom.

6. Exchange of Vows: The couple exchanges their wedding vows, which can be traditional or personalised. These vows are the promises they make to each other as they embark on their married life together.

7. Exchange of Rings: The wedding officiant guides the couple in exchanging wedding rings, which symbolises their commitment to each other. The best man or another member of the wedding party typically holds the rings until this point.

8. Pronouncement of Marriage: The officiant declares the couple as husband and wife, husband and husband, or wife and wife, followed by the highly anticipated first kiss as a married couple.

9. Closing Remarks: The officiant concludes the ceremony with final remarks, which may include blessings, well wishes, or words of gratitude.

10. Recessional and Exit: The newlyweds lead the wedding party out, usually in reverse order of the processional. This marks the end of the wedding ceremony, and the couple may choose to exit to a celebratory shower of confetti or rice.

While this is a general outline, it's important to note that weddings can be customised to reflect the couple's unique personalities, cultural backgrounds, and religious beliefs. Ultimately, the wedding ceremony is a celebration of love, and there is room for creativity and personal touches to make the day truly memorable.

The wedding ceremony

The Arrival of the Couple

The groom and his best man or woman should arrive around 30 minutes before the ceremony is due to start to run through the order of service with the officiant. Ushers should be there shortly after to hand out the order-of-service sheets (if you’re having them) and help show guests to their seats.

Seating of Guests

Ushers will help guide guests to their seats, seating people from the front rows to the back. The first row or two should be reserved for immediate family. The bride's family and friends are seated on the left, and the groom's on the right. Alternatively, you may choose to have a more contemporary trend where guests can sit wherever they like.

Seating of Parents

Parents and grandparents should be seated last. For Christian ceremonies, grandparents are seated first, then the father and mother of the groom, and then the mother of the bride. In Jewish tradition, the parents walk in with the bride.

The Processional

The officiant takes their place at the altar, and the groom will stand to their left. The rest of the wedding party then arrives. The bridesmaids walk down one by one, ending with the bride being walked down the aisle by her father. Alternatively, the bridesmaids and groomsmen walk down together in pairs.

Introductory Remarks

Once everyone is in place, the officiant welcomes the guests and may talk about marriage in general and the couple's love story. Wedding readings or poems are often included at this point.

The Marriage Ceremony

The officiant addresses the couple, reminding them of the responsibilities and meaning of the vows they are about to take. The officiant will also ask if there is any reason in law why the couple should not marry.

Vow Exchange and Declaration of Intent

The couple exchanges their vows, which can be written by themselves or chosen to be classic sentiments. The declaration of intent, or the "I do"s, follows this.

Exchanging of Rings

The best man or another member of the wedding party hands the rings to the officiant, who then gives each of the couple the other's wedding ring. The couple places a ring on each other's fingers, with a phrase of their choice.

Declaration of Marriage/First Kiss

The officiant will pronounce the couple as newlyweds and say something along the lines of, "By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife." The officiant will also tell the couple that they may kiss.

Optional Address, Prayer, Reading and/or Song

At a religious ceremony, there will be a talk from a member of the clergy, bible readings, and prayers. In a non-religious ceremony, this is a good time for another wedding reading.

Signing of the Register

The final step in making the marriage legal is to sign the marriage license, which also needs to be signed by two witnesses. This is a good time to have some background music playing while your guests are seated.

Ending of the Service

The officiant will speak some closing remarks, offering congratulations, well wishes, and occasionally a few words of thanks.

Recessional and Exit

The couple walks back up the aisle to music and will either be showered with confetti or wait until they are outside the venue. The wedding party will follow them out, and then the guests will start exiting.

The reception

The Receiving Line

The newlyweds, the hosts, and sometimes their parents and honour attendants, stand in a line and greet each guest in turn. This is a traditional way to welcome guests to the reception, but a more modern approach is to have a grand entrance where the wedding party is introduced by a master of ceremonies, toastmaster, or DJ.

Cocktails and Hors d'Oeuvres

The cocktail hour is a time for guests to enjoy drinks and conversation, and it also serves as a buffer between the ceremony and reception, especially if they are held at different locations. During this time, the couple often takes their wedding portraits, and guests can retrieve escort cards and look at the seating chart.

The Grand Entrance

The couple makes their grand entrance as newlyweds, often to a celebratory tune, and they may step onto the dance floor for their first dance. This is a good opportunity for the couple to thank their guests for attending.

Dinner

Speeches and Toasts

Speeches and toasts are typically given while guests are seated and eating dinner. The order of speakers usually goes: best man, maid of honour, parents of either spouse, and then the couple may give a thank-you speech.

The First Dance and Special Dances

After dinner, the couple takes to the dance floor for their first dance as a married couple. This is followed by special dances, such as the father-daughter dance and the mother-son dance.

Cake Cutting

The cake-cutting ceremony usually takes place halfway through the reception. The couple cuts the first slice of cake and may feed it to each other, before it is served to the guests.

Bouquet and Garter Toss

If the couple chooses to include this tradition, the bouquet and garter toss will require a break in the dancing.

Last Dance and Grand Exit

The DJ or bandleader will announce the last dance, and the couple may choose a slow or upbeat song to end the night. The couple then makes their grand exit, and guests may blow bubbles, light sparklers, or toss confetti.

The first dance

The couple may choose to choreograph their first dance or take dance lessons, or they may decide to improvise. The style of the dance is also up to the couple, though slow dances and ballroom-style holds are traditional.

Speeches

The father of the bride or groom usually gives a welcoming speech, thanking everyone for attending. However, some couples may prefer to do this themselves. The father-of-the-bride speech is often followed by the best man and maid of honour sharing heartfelt words about the couple. The bride and groom may also choose to say a few words of thanks before they cut the cake. Toasts are best kept short and sweet, with two or three at a time, and ideally made during or between dinner courses.

The cake cutting

The Cake is Rolled In:

The elegantly decorated wedding cake is brought into the reception hall, often with a grand reveal to build excitement among the guests. The cake is then placed in front of the newlyweds, who are seated at the head table, ready for the cutting ceremony.

The Cutting:

The bride and groom stand together in front of the cake, holding the knife together. They cut the first slice of the cake together, usually from the bottom tier, as this is considered good luck. The couple might opt for a traditional cake-cutting knife or a sword, especially for larger cakes. They might also choose to have a cake cutting song playing in the background to add to the festive atmosphere.

Feeding Each Other:

After cutting the first slice, the couple feeds each other a bite of the cake, symbolising their commitment to providing for and caring for each other. This moment is often filled with fun and laughter, especially if one of them decides to smear a bit of cake on the other's nose or cheek!

Toasts and Photos:

The cake-cutting is also a time for toasts and photographs. The couple might propose a toast to their guests, thanking them for their presence and well-wishes. It's also a great opportunity for the wedding photographer to capture some memorable moments, including the couple feeding each other cake, close-ups of the cake, and shots with the bridal party or family members.

Cake Distribution:

Once the cake is cut, it's time to share it with the guests. The caterers or wedding staff will distribute slices of cake to the guests, who are usually seated. This is often accompanied by drinks, such as coffee, tea, or something stronger, creating a relaxed atmosphere for the guests to enjoy their sweet treat.

The Cake Dance:

In some traditions, the cake-cutting is followed by the cake dance, where the bride and groom share a romantic dance while the cake is being served to the guests. This is a sweet moment for the couple to connect and enjoy each other's company before returning to their guests.

The cake-cutting ceremony is a delightful tradition that adds a touch of sweetness and celebration to the wedding reception. It's a moment for the couple to shine, express their gratitude, and create lasting memories with their loved ones.

Frequently asked questions