A Roman Wedding: Traditions And Rituals

Roman weddings were a sacred ritual, steeped in tradition and religious practices. The bride and groom, or their fathers, had to consent to the wedding, and the groom could not choose just any day of the year, as many were considered unlucky. The wedding would usually take place in June, the month of Juno, the goddess of childbirth and marriage. The bride wore a wreath, a veil, a yellow hairnet, and a white robe, while the groom wore a toga virilis. The wedding was held at the bride's father's house and was followed by a large feast, with a special cake called a mustaceum, made with grape juice. After the feast, the groom pretended to take the bride by force from her mother's arms, a tradition that symbolised the bride being taken from her family. The bride was then escorted to her new home, where she and the groom would consummate the marriage.

The bride's procession from her family home to her new husband's house

The procession could begin at the bride's family hearth, where, according to one common ritual, she would be pulled away from her mother in a demonstration of the bride's modesty and sadness in leaving the family home. The entire procession then paraded to the groom's house, with the mother holding her daughter, and the groom pretending to take the bride by force from her mother's arms. This was to convince the household gods that the bride was a virgin who did not go to her new home willingly. The bride was expected to cry out in pain as she was herded along the route.

The bride was accompanied by an entourage of guests singing tunes, often with obscene lyrics, and carrying a whitehorn torch, a spina alba, to honour Ceres. Nuts were thrown by the participants, instead of the modern tradition of rice or confetti.

The groom pretending to kidnap the bride

In Roman weddings, the groom would pretend to kidnap the bride by force from her mother's arms. This was done to convince the household gods, or lares, that the bride did not leave her family willingly. The Romans believed that the only bride of value was a virgin who had to be stolen from her family.

The tradition dictated that the bride cry out in pain as she was herded along the route to her new house. As the bride was taken to her new home, guests sang the Hymenaeus and carried a whitehorn torch, a spina alba, to honour Ceres.

The procession would then reach the groom's house, where the groom would enter first. The bride would then enter after smearing the doorway with sheep's wool covered in oil and fat, as she would have no gods protecting her until she arrived at the groom's house.

The groom's abduction of the bride was a simulation of the Rape of the Sabine Women, and it was believed that this would bring good luck to the marriage.

The bride's attire

The bride's hair was styled in a unique way, called the tutulus. Her hair was divided into six locks, called sex crines, and was fastened on top of her head in a cone shape with vittae, or fillets. The hair was parted with a hasta recurva or hasta caelibaris, a bent iron spearhead, and adorned with flowers. The usage of the spearhead was symbolic of the husband's authority over his bride and was believed to ward off evil spirits. The bride also wore a wreath, a yellow-red veil called the flammeum, a yellow hairnet, and chaplets of roses. The deep yellow colour of the veil was significant, and it was the only part of the wedding dress that was not white. The yellow colour was produced using a dye called luteum, derived from the plant Reseda luteola. The bride's attire was similar to that of a priestess, and all the guests dressed like the bride and groom to prevent evil spirits from identifying the couple.

The bride's shoes were bright yellow or saffron-coloured. The bride also carried a distaff and spindle in her hand when she entered her future husband's home.

The wedding banquet

The bride and groom sat on stools facing an altar, and an offering of cake was made to Jupiter. The priest blessed the marriage, and the couple then ate the cake, before congratulating guests and sitting down to dinner.

The banquet was a celebration, but it also served a more serious purpose. The bride's family would have to prove that their daughter was a virgin, and the banquet was a public acknowledgement of the union, legitimising any future children.

The banquet was also a time for the signing of a marriage contract, which was not a requirement but was deemed useful, like a prenup. The contract allowed both families to stipulate terms around finances and children, such as the dowry.

The banquet was the last part of the wedding celebration to take place at the bride's family home. After the banquet, the groom would carry the bride over the threshold to her new home, and the marriage was consummated.

The signing of the marriage contract

The dowry was a payment made by the bride's family to the groom's family to cover the couple's household expenses. It was more customary than compulsory. Dowries typically included land, enslaved people, jewellery, toiletries, mirrors, and clothing. While a marriage lasted, the dowry was the husband's property, but his use of it was restricted. If the marriage ended through divorce, it was returned to either the wife or her family. If the husband committed offences that led to divorce, he lost his claim to any share in the dowry. If the wife was blameless for the ending of her marriage, the dowry was restored to her.

The marriage contract also served to formalise the joining of two families, which was a significant aspect of Roman weddings. Marriage was used as a tool for interfamilial alliances, helping families to build economic and political bonds. The groom's family would gain a daughter-in-law who would preside over the household, educate her children, watch over and preserve the honour of the house, and share the honours and respect shown to her husband.

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