Wedding Agenda: Step-By-Step Guide

A wedding ceremony is a joyous and meaningful occasion, and the order of events is crucial to ensure a smooth and memorable experience for the couple and their guests. While the specific order may vary depending on personal preferences, cultural or religious traditions, and the size of the wedding party, here is a general outline of what typically happens at a wedding:

1. Processional: The wedding party, including the bridesmaids, groomsmen, flower girl, and ring bearer, walk down the aisle, often in pairs. In a traditional Christian wedding, the bride is walked down the aisle by her father, while the groom waits at the altar. In a Jewish wedding, the groom's parents escort him down the aisle, followed by the bride with her parents.

2. Opening Remarks: The officiant welcomes the guests and shares a few words about the couple and the significance of marriage.

3. Readings: Guests or family members may be invited to share readings, which can be religious, spiritual, or excerpts from a favourite novel.

4. Officiant Addresses the Couple: The officiant emphasizes the responsibilities and sanctity of the vows about to be taken.

5. Exchange of Vows: The couple recites their wedding vows, which can be traditional or personally written.

6. Exchange of Rings: The couple exchanges wedding rings as a symbol of their commitment.

7. Pronouncement of Marriage: The officiant officially pronounces the couple as husband and wife.

8. The Kiss: The couple seals their marriage with a kiss, often followed by a unity ceremony, such as lighting a unity candle or mixing sand.

9. Closing Remarks: The officiant ends the ceremony with a few closing words and blessings for the couple.

10. Recessional: The couple and the wedding party exit the ceremony venue, usually to the cheer and applause of the guests.

After the ceremony, the couple usually takes wedding pictures while the guests move to the reception location for cocktails and hors d'oeuvres. The reception is then kicked off with the grand entrance of the newlyweds, followed by their first dance, speeches, dinner, parent dances, and other festivities.

Processional

The processional is one of the most memorable moments of any wedding day. Here is a breakdown of the different elements of a wedding processional.

The Officiant

The officiant is the person who will lead the ceremony and marry the couple. In some cases, the officiant may already be standing at the altar, but in others, the couple might choose to have them walk down the aisle with the rest of the wedding party. If the officiant walks down the aisle, they usually go first. Their presence signals to the guests that the wedding is about to begin.

The Groom

The groom is usually the next person to enter the ceremony space, often from the side of the venue, close to the right side of the altar. However, the groom might also be escorted down the aisle by both of their parents, who then take their seats on the right side of the aisle in the front row.

The Best Man

The best man might enter from the same side as the groom or walk down the aisle alone. They stand next to the groom at the altar, in the closest spot behind him. The best man may also hold the groom's ring, which will be given to him when needed.

The Groomsmen

The groomsmen typically enter the ceremony space by walking down the aisle one by one, in order of who will stand farthest away from the groom to who will be standing by the best man.

The Bridesmaids

The bridesmaids usually walk down the aisle one by one before the maid of honor enters. However, some couples may choose to have the groomsmen and bridesmaids walk in together in pairs. The same order of placement will be followed, with the groomsman and bridesmaid who will stand farthest away from the couple entering first.

The Maid of Honor

Before the ceremony, the maid of honor typically helps the bride with any final adjustments to her dress, veil, or train. During the processional, the maid of honor walks down the aisle after the bridesmaids and stands by the bride's side at the altar. She may also hold the bride's bouquet and the groom's ring during the ceremony.

The Flower Girl and Ring Bearer

The flower girl and ring bearer are the final processional members to precede the bride. Traditionally, the ring bearer carries the wedding rings tied to a small pillow, which is then handed to the best man. The flower girl may carry a basket of petals to scatter as she walks. Once they reach the end of the aisle, they can either find a seat with their parents or stay standing with the rest of the bridal party.

The Bride and Her Escort

The bride and her escort are the last people to enter the ceremony space. Traditionally, the father of the bride walks his daughter down the aisle and stands on her right side. After he gives her away, he may lift her veil, give her a kiss, and then take his seat next to the bride's mother. However, the bride can choose anyone to escort her down the aisle, such as a parent, grandparent, sibling, or another loved one.

Variations and Customization

The processional order can be customized to fit the couple's preferences and family dynamics. Some couples may choose to walk down the aisle together, while others may opt for a non-traditional escort for the bride. The wedding party can enter in pairs or individually, and the order of the bridal party can be adjusted as needed. Additionally, grandparents and other family members can be included in the processional or given honorary seating before the processional begins.

Opening remarks

The opening remarks are an important part of the wedding ceremony, setting the tone and welcoming guests. Here are some ideas and suggestions for what to include:

• Welcome and Introduction: Begin with a warm welcome and introduce yourself as the officiant. Thank the guests for their presence and for bearing witness to the union. You can also acknowledge the purpose of the gathering and share a few words about the couple, their story, and what the ceremony represents.
• Thoughts on Marriage: Share your perspective on the significance of marriage. You can speak about the couple's love story, what marriage means to them, or the ceremony's symbolic value.
• Address the Couple: Emphasise the responsibilities and sanctity of the vows they are about to take. Remind them of the commitments they are making and the importance of this moment.
• Incorporate Readings: Invite guests or family members to share readings, poems, or excerpts that reflect the couple's values. These can be religious texts, spiritual passages, or even excerpts from their favourite novels or romance novels.
• Personal Touches: If desired, include some light-hearted anecdotes, funny moments, or heartwarming stories about the couple. This adds a personal touch and helps guests feel more connected to the ceremony.
• Expression of Intent: This is where the couple agrees to marry each other and says their "I dos". It is a powerful moment that reinforces their commitment.
• Affirmation of Family and Friends: Include the guests in the ceremony by asking for their blessing and support for the union. This creates a sense of community and involvement.

Remember, the opening remarks can be customised to fit the couple's preferences and style. Be sure to collaborate with the couple and consider their vision, cultural traditions, and any specific elements they want to include.

Readings

The readings are a great way to stamp your personality on the day and allows you to show your guests who you are as a couple. A wedding reading also sets the tone of your celebrations and can bring a sense of togetherness amongst you and your guests. Wedding readings are a great way to inject some humour, too, if you don't want to have your guests weeping in the pews!

You can pretty much pick anything that suits you as a couple. Emotional, cute, romantic, funny, philosophical, and just plain lovely – the world of wedding readings is basically your oyster!

• A passage from a novel
• A poem
• A song
• A quote
• A passage from a religious text
• A passage from a non-fiction book
• A letter
• A speech
• A film quote

You can also ask a guest to write something for you, or even write something together.

There are some things to bear in mind when choosing your readings:

• If you're having a religious ceremony, you may be required to have a reading. The Church of England, for example, requires you to have at least one Bible reading.
• If you're having a non-religious ceremony, the rules are more relaxed.
• You can have up to three readings at a Church of England wedding.
• Two readings is usually enough to keep your guests engaged.
• If you're having children at your wedding, you could ask them to do a reading. Choose something short and simple, or ask an adult to help them.
• If you're having a child do a reading, you could always have an adult on standby to take over if they get nervous.
• If you're having a reading from a song or poem, you could ask someone to sing or perform it.
• If you're having a reading in a different language, consider providing translations for your guests.
• If you're having a civil ceremony, you can't have mentions of religion.
• If you're having a religious ceremony, check with whoever is conducting your ceremony if you have any questions about what is and isn't allowed.

Exchange of vows

The exchange of vows is a pivotal moment in a wedding ceremony, where the couple makes sacred promises to each other. This is usually preceded by the officiant addressing the couple and emphasising the significance of the responsibilities and vows of marriage they are about to take.

The vows provide an opportunity for the couple to add a personal touch to the ceremony. They may choose to write their own vows, sharing how they first met, reflecting on their relationship, or using traditional phrasing guided by the officiant.

> I, [name], take you, [name], to be my wedded wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part. I will love and honour you all the days of my life.

The couple may also choose to incorporate religious elements into their vows. For instance, in Jewish ceremonies, the following phrase is often recited in Hebrew: "I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine".

After the vows, the couple exchanges rings to seal their promises, though this practice is not included in all religious traditions. The exchange of vows is followed by the pronouncement of marriage by the officiant.

Ring exchange

The ring exchange is a highly symbolic and emotional part of the wedding ceremony, representing the promises and dedications made by the couple. While it is not a legal requirement, many couples opt to exchange rings.

The ring exchange usually follows the vows and precedes the pronouncement of marriage. The officiant will prompt the ring bearer to present the rings, which are then handed to the couple by the best man or another member of the wedding party. The couple then places a ring on each other's fingers, with the bride's wedding band going on the same finger as the engagement ring. The left hand is traditional as it is closer to the heart.

The ring exchange is often accompanied by a short phrase or sentiment, such as "With this ring, I thee wed" or "With this ring, I vow to love and honour you from this moment forward." Couples may choose to write their own ring exchange wording, incorporating elements such as devotion, faith, and symbolism. For example, "I give you this ring as a symbol of my love; and with all that I am and all that I have, I honour you."

The ring exchange is a highly customisable part of the wedding ceremony, and couples can choose to include it within their vows or opt for a silent exchange. The order in which the couple speaks and who goes first can also be tailored to their preference.

Frequently asked questions