Buddhist Wedding Traditions And Rituals

what happens at a buddhist wedding

Buddhist weddings are a celebration of love and devotion to wisdom, compassion, and harmony. Unlike other spiritual traditions, Buddhists consider marriage a secular matter, leaving it to the couple's individual choice and customs. The ceremony is often a joyful, fluid occasion that combines modern elements with ancient rituals, respecting family and friends and committing to self-awakening and improvement. Buddhist weddings are most common in Asia, Southeast Asia, and India, and may include local customs such as binding wrists with string or sipping rice wine. The couple may also incorporate Buddhist symbols and rituals, such as offerings and meditations, into their celebration.

Characteristics Values
Ceremony location Buddhist temples are not traditional wedding venues, but couples may choose to marry in one
Officiant A friend or civil celebrant, or a monk/nun
Clothing Traditional wedding garments or modern clothing like a white gown and tuxedo
Decorations Symbols of Buddhism, such as a large gold Buddha statue, incense, candles, flowers (e.g. lotuses), and meditation bells
Ceremony rituals Guided meditation, readings from revered Buddhist figures, vows, exchanging rings or other tokens, rituals of togetherness (e.g. pouring water into a bowl, tying a red string around wrists, drinking sake/tea)
Offerings Candles, incense, food, and flowers offered to the Buddha
Blessings Given by monks or nuns, or received at a temple
Food A generous spread, often plated rather than a buffet, with vegetarian options
Entertainment Live music, folk dances, and other dances

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Buddhist weddings are secular, joyful and fluid, reflecting the couple's heritage

Buddhist weddings are a joyful and fluid celebration of a couple's heritage and their devotion to wisdom, compassion, and harmony in their partnership. Unlike other spiritual traditions, Buddhists consider marriage to be a secular matter, meaning it is an individual's choice and not a sacrament. This means that Buddhist weddings are often a unique blend of local customs and rituals, modern elements, and personal touches that reflect the couple's cultural background and values.

The ceremony usually includes symbols of Buddhism, such as a large gold Buddha statue surrounded by incense, candles, flowers, and meditation bells. The couple might decide to wear traditional wedding garments that honour their cultural heritage, such as a qun gua for a Chinese bride or a siwalai dress for a Thai bride. A Buddhist wedding may also include rituals such as binding the wrists with string, sipping rice wine or sake, exchanging rings, or making offerings in front of a Buddha statue.

Most Buddhist weddings are not officiated by a monk or nun, but by a friend, civil celebrant, or professional event coordinator who can guide the couple through the rituals. The ceremony may begin with a guided meditation to cultivate mindfulness and loving-kindness, followed by readings from revered figures or the Sigalovada Sutta, which contains the Buddha's advice on harmonious domestic relations.

The couple may also include rituals that signify the joining of husband and wife, such as pouring water into a bowl or tying a red string around their wrists. The wedding is usually followed by a banquet with live music, dancing, and games, creating a joyful and festive atmosphere.

Buddhist weddings are an evolving ritual, shaped by the couple's cultural background and the spread of Buddhism across the globe. They are a unique and personal celebration that reflects the couple's heritage and their commitment to a life of mindfulness, wisdom, and compassion.

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Ceremonies often begin with a guided meditation and readings from revered Buddhist figures

A Buddhist wedding ceremony may begin with a guided meditation, which allows attendees to cultivate mindfulness and loving-kindness. This is followed by readings from revered Buddhist figures such as the Dalai Lama of Tibet or Dōgen of the Soto Zen school.

The readings are often chosen from the Sigalovada Sutta, as it contains the Buddha's advice on harmonious domestic relations. The Heart Sutra is also a popular choice for readings, as it emphasises the importance of seeing the interconnected nature of all things for spiritual development.

The couple may also offer tea to each other and their parents, a custom from China, to recognise their karmic connections and show awareness of how all are part of a net of interdependent lives. If a parent is deceased, their photo is displayed, and they are offered flowers.

The ceremony is an opportunity for the couple to express their devotion to wisdom, compassion, and harmony in their partnership. It is a joyful and fluid occasion that reflects the heritage of the partners.

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Couples show reverence to the Buddha by making offerings at an altar or statue

A Buddhist wedding is a secular affair, honouring the teachings of Siddhartha Gautama and expressing the couple's devotion to wisdom, compassion, harmony, and patience in their partnership. The ceremony is a joyful, fluid occasion that reflects the heritage of the partners. Couples often combine modern elements with centuries-old rituals.

One such ritual is making offerings to the Buddha at an altar or statue. This is done to show reverence to the Buddha and his teachings. Couples may light candles or incense and present beautifully packaged food and flowers to the Buddha. They may do this at an altar or visit a temple as part of the ceremony, where they can perform rituals and receive blessings.

At the He Hua Temple in Amsterdam, one couple began their wedding ceremony by bowing in front of the Buddha as a sign of respect, followed by the chanting of the Incense Chant. This act of reverence was followed by the Heart Sutra, one of the most popular and shortest Buddhist scriptures, which is about the importance of seeing the interconnected nature of all things for spiritual development.

After making offerings, couples will often silently reflect while holding their palms together in front of their hearts. This is not an act of worship, but of honouring the wisdom of the Buddha's teachings and aspiring towards awakening.

The offerings to the Buddha are followed by a large feast and celebration, with live music and dancing.

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Buddhist weddings include local customs, such as binding wrists with string or sipping rice wine

Buddhist weddings are most common in Asia, Southeast Asia, and India. They often combine modern elements with centuries-old rituals. The rituals themselves can vary depending on the location and heritage of the couple.

One such ritual is the binding of wrists with string, which is done in Cambodia. Here, a red string is tied around the couple's wrists, or a long white thread is wrapped around their heads to make a joined headpiece. This is known as 'sai sin' in Thailand, where it is also used in weddings. The thread is blessed by a Buddhist monk and is thought to provide protection and good health. It usually comes in white to represent purity, although red may be used depending on the region and circumstances.

Another ritual is the sipping of rice wine, which is done in Japan. Here, the couple drinks sake from three separate cups that represent the three "jewels" of Buddhism: the Buddha, Dharma (teachings), and Sangha (community). This ritual was also observed during the wedding of Japan's Prince Yoshi and Princess Hanako in 1964.

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Buddhist weddings are evolving, a product of the religion's journey across the world

Buddhist weddings are a modern phenomenon, with Buddhism's founder, Siddhartha Gautama, leaving his marriage to pursue a spiritual path. As Buddhism spread, it became associated with monastic training and rituals for the deceased, with weddings remaining the domain of local religions.

However, as Buddhism travelled across the world, it evolved to meet the needs of its followers. In the Mahayana countries, for example, Buddhism became linked with monastic mind training. In Japan, it is customary to complete coming-of-age rituals in a Shinto sanctuary and hold weddings in a Christian church, but Buddhist temples are used for funerals.

Buddhist weddings are now becoming more common, with couples creating new traditions that combine Buddhist elements with secular or other spiritual rituals. For instance, the Buddhist Churches of America, founded by Japanese immigrants in the 19th century, has developed a wedding liturgy with elements of Japanese and American Christian weddings.

The lack of a standard Buddhist wedding ceremony means that different schools and cultures can create their own rituals. A couple may choose to include Buddhist elements in a secular ceremony, such as a lotus flower theme, or seating cards representing the four aspects of love in Buddhism: benevolence, compassion, appreciation, and acceptance.

Buddhist weddings are an evolving ritual, reflecting the heritage and cultural backgrounds of the couple. They are a product of the religion's journey and adaptability across the world.

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Frequently asked questions

It is recommended to wear lighter colours to a Buddhist wedding, as darker colours are usually worn to funerals. It is also important to note that in some cultures, it is considered disrespectful to point the soles of your feet at a Buddha statue.

A Buddhist wedding ceremony usually involves a guided meditation, readings from Buddhist texts, and rituals such as making offerings to the Buddha. The couple may also include modern elements such as a wedding cake or popular dance music.

Although monks are not required to officiate the wedding, they are often invited as special guests to give blessings to the couple. The couple may also visit a temple as part of the celebration and receive well-wishes there.

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