Wedding Reception Chaos

A wedding reception is a party held after a marriage ceremony, where the newlyweds and their families receive society, in the form of their guests, for the first time as a married couple. Wedding receptions can last anywhere from half an hour to several days and are usually made up of a cocktail hour, followed by dinner, dancing, and rituals like cake-cutting and speeches.

The reception is a chance for guests to mingle, eat, drink, and dance, while also offering their congratulations to the new couple. The newlyweds are usually the first to leave the wedding ceremony, heading off for photos before the reception gets underway.

Toasts, speeches and blessings from the couple's wedding party or family

Wedding toasts, speeches, and blessings are an opportunity for guests to share their favourite memories of the couple and their relationship. They are also a chance to offer advice and best wishes for the future.

The Wedding Party

The best man and maid of honour (or the couple's chosen equivalents) are the traditional speakers at the wedding reception. Their speeches should be short and sweet—around three to five minutes—and focus on the couple, their relationship, and their future together. The best man and maid of honour can also choose to speak at the rehearsal dinner, which is a good opportunity to share longer stories or anecdotes.

The Couple

The couple may also choose to make a speech, particularly if they are hosting the wedding. This is usually a brief welcome and thank-you speech directed at the guests, the bridal party, and the couple's families.

The Hosts

The hosts of the wedding are typically the bride's parents, and they often give a speech to welcome and thank the guests. This is also an opportunity to raise a glass to the couple and wish them a happy future. If the groom's parents are hosting, they may also choose to speak.

Other Family Members

Other family members and close friends may also wish to say a few words. This could be at the reception or the rehearsal dinner. It is common for grandparents, siblings, and adult children of the couple to give a speech.

What to Say

When writing a wedding speech, it's a good idea to introduce yourself and explain how you know the couple. You can then share a story or anecdote about the couple, offer some advice, and finish with a blessing or toast for the future. It's best to keep the speech light-hearted and positive, avoiding any stories that might cause embarrassment or discomfort.

Example Toasts and Blessings

• "Here's to the past, for all that you've learnt. Here's to the present, for all that you share. Here's to the future, for all that you've got to look forward to."
• "May your wedding days be few and your anniversaries many."
• "May your joys be as deep as the ocean, and your troubles as light as its foam."
• "May your love always be added. May it never be subtracted. May your household multiply and may your hearts never be divided!"
• "May you live as long as you like, and have all you like for as long as you live."
• "May your love be modern enough to survive the times and old-fashioned enough to last forever."

Dinner, drinks and dessert

The wedding reception is a party held after the marriage ceremony, where the newlyweds receive their guests as a married couple for the first time. The hosts will provide food and drink, and the reception can last from half an hour to several days.

The standard wedding reception is made up of a one-hour cocktail hour and a four-hour reception, usually centred around a meal. The food and drink served will depend on the time of day, the couple's budget, and local customs.

Dinner

Receptions usually take place in the evening, with dinner being served. However, the couple may opt for a luncheon, brunch, or afternoon tea. The meal can be a full-course dinner or a buffet.

Drinks

Drinks are served throughout the reception, with a cocktail hour preceding the meal. Alcoholic drinks are common, but non-alcoholic options are also served.

Dessert

Dessert is often served after the meal, with the wedding cake being the centrepiece. The cake-cutting ceremony is usually a signal for guests to grab another drink and head back to their seats.

However, cake is not the only dessert option. Couples may choose to serve a variety of sweet treats, such as gelato, churros, sundaes, or even a cheese wheel cake.

The Timeline

• Cocktail hour: Guests enjoy drinks and hors d'oeuvres.
• Dinner: A full meal is served, or a buffet is directed by the MC or DJ.
• Toasts: Members of the wedding party make speeches, usually before or after the meal.
• Cake-cutting: The couple cuts the first slice of cake and may feed each other a bite.
• Dessert: Guests enjoy cake and other desserts, if any.

The above is a general outline, and the actual timeline may vary depending on the couple's preferences and cultural traditions.

First dance, parent dances, and bouquet toss

The first dance, parent dances, and bouquet toss are all important parts of a wedding reception. Here is some information about each of these:

First Dance

The first dance is a romantic and personal moment for the newly married couple to celebrate their next phase in life. It usually takes place after the grand entrance or after the meal. The couple may choose to dance to a song that is meaningful to them or that represents their relationship. Some couples even opt for a surprise wedding mashup, starting with a slow dance and then transitioning to an upbeat song with choreography.

Parent Dances

Parent dances, such as the father-daughter dance and the mother-son dance, may take place at several points during the reception. They can occur immediately after the first dance, after dinner, after toasts, or after cake cutting. For heterosexual couples, the bride dances first with her father, and then the groom dances with his mother. Other special relatives, like grandparents, may also join in. LGBTQIA+ couples can also choose how they'd like to handle parent dances and may opt to dance with stepparents or other important people.

Bouquet Toss

The bouquet toss is a longstanding wedding tradition where the bride tosses her bouquet over her shoulder into a group of single women. The woman who catches the bouquet is supposedly "next" to walk down the aisle. It usually happens towards the end of the reception, after the cake has been cut. The groom may also complement the bouquet toss with a garter toss, where he removes the bride's garter and throws it to a crowd of single men. The "winners" of the bouquet and garter tosses then dance together.

Cake cutting

Cutting the wedding cake is a symbolic tradition that has been a staple of wedding receptions for centuries. The ceremony is often loaded with meaning and is a great photo opportunity.

When to Cut the Cake

The cake-cutting ceremony usually takes place after dinner, towards the end of the reception. This is because, traditionally, cutting the cake was the signal for guests to start heading home, especially if they weren't planning on staying for the after-party. However, the cake can be cut at any time during the reception—some couples even choose to cut the cake before dinner and hand it out to guests afterwards.

How to Cut the Cake

The couple usually cuts the first slice of cake together, with one partner's hand placed over the other's as they cut. This symbolises their promise to support each other and reflects the first responsibility they complete as a married couple. The couple should cut about an inch into the bottom tier of the cake, then make a connecting cut to form a wedge. The cake knife is then used to lift the slice onto a plate.

Feeding the Cake

After the first slice is cut, the couple usually feeds it to each other. This symbolises their commitment to providing for one another.

Other Tips

• The song played during the cake-cutting ceremony is entirely down to personal preference.
• It's a good idea to practice cutting the cake beforehand.
• Choose a good backdrop for the cake table—fire extinguishers and alarms should be avoided for photos.
• If you want to save the top tier of the cake for your first anniversary, be sure to tell your baker and caterer in advance.

Music, dancing and entertainment

Music, dancing, and entertainment are key parts of a wedding reception. Couples usually hire a DJ or a live band to perform at their wedding reception, but they can also choose to play music from a speaker.

Music and Dancing

The music played at a wedding reception is often a mix of crowd-pleasers, singalong ballads, rock anthems, hip-hop beats, romantic hits, and golden oldies. Couples usually submit a list of their favourite songs to the DJ or band, as well as a "do-not-play" list.

Some popular songs for wedding receptions include:

• "I Wanna Dance With Somebody" by Whitney Houston
• "Dancing Queen" by ABBA
• "September" by Earth, Wind & Fire
• "Sweet Caroline" by Neil Diamond
• "Mr. Brightside" by The Killers
• "Shut Up and Dance" by Walk the Moon
• "Crazy in Love" by Beyoncé
• We Found Love by Rihanna
• Party in the USA by Miley Cyrus
• "I Gotta Feeling" by The Black Eyed Peas
• Blinding Lights by The Weeknd
• "Shout" by The Isley Brothers
• "Don't Stop Believin'" by Journey
• "Dancing in the Moonlight" by Toploader
• "Sir Duke" by Stevie Wonder
• Higher Love by Kygo and Whitney Houston
• Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen
• Shut Up and Dance by Walk the Moon
• You Make My Dreams by Hall & Oates

Other Entertainment

Couples may also choose to include other forms of entertainment at their wedding reception, such as:

• Lawn games
• Fireworks display
• Amusement park rides
• Photo booths
• Live wedding painters
• Caricaturists
• Magicians
• Tarot card readers

Frequently asked questions