Wedding Objections: What Comes Next?

The dramatic wedding objection, a staple of romantic comedies and films, is rarely seen in real life. But what happens if someone does object during a wedding ceremony?

The tradition of allowing objections during weddings was started by the Catholic Church in the 12th century as a way to ensure a marriage was legal and valid. Back then, it was much harder to check the marital status or familial relations of people from other towns.

Today, however, objections at weddings are extremely uncommon. If someone does object, the officiant may pause the ceremony and take the objector aside to discuss their reasons privately. If the objection is not based on a valid legal reason, such as the bride or groom being underage, already married, or being forced into the marriage, the officiant may choose to ignore it and continue with the ceremony.

While objections are usually dealt with calmly and privately, they can trigger strong emotions like hurt, anger, and embarrassment for all involved.

The officiant pauses the ceremony

The officiant is in charge of proceeding with the ceremony. They may pause the ceremony briefly while deciding how to handle the situation. If the objection is minor and holds no legal standing, the officiant may continue the ceremony without pausing.

If the officiant decides to pause the ceremony, they can then take the objector to another room to privately discuss their reasons for objecting. The officiant can then ask the couple if they would like to continue with the ceremony. If the couple decides to take a break or not move forward with the wedding, the officiant must respect their wishes.

If the couple decides to continue with the ceremony, the officiant can then return to the altar and make a brief apology for the interruption. They can then thank the guests for their continued support and proceed with the ceremony.

The objector is asked to leave

If the objector refuses to move on from their objection, the couple may have to ask them to leave. This is a last resort, and the couple may wish to handle the situation delicately, especially if the objector is a close friend or family member.

In the case of a serious objection, the officiant may pause the ceremony and ask to speak to the objector in private. This would be an opportunity for the objector to voice their concerns and for the couple to explain their intentions to go ahead with the wedding. If the objector is not satisfied and still refuses to let the ceremony continue, the couple may have no choice but to ask them to leave.

It is important to note that objections during weddings are very uncommon. In most cases, they are done in a joking manner and are not intended to stop the wedding. However, if a couple has concerns about a potential objection, they can inform the officiant beforehand so they can be prepared and handle the situation appropriately.

Historically, wedding objections served a more significant purpose. During medieval times, when it was difficult to access legal records, objections were a way to ensure the legality of a union. Objections could include factors such as one party already being married, underage without parental consent, or close blood relations. In modern times, however, most legalities of a marriage are established when applying for a marriage license, so there is usually no need for formal objections.

The couple may decide not to continue

If a couple decides not to continue with their wedding after an objection, the officiant would likely acknowledge the objection, realise that it carries no legal substance, and then halt the ceremony.

The couple could then take the objector to another room to privately give their reason for the objection. If the couple feels that the objection warrants a conversation, they could gently take the objector aside for a private discussion. They could then acknowledge the objection with appreciation but reinforce their relationship with their partner, perhaps saying something like: "We appreciate you sharing your concerns, however, we feel differently."

The couple could also decide to delicately rescind the objector's invitation, preferably in person along with an explanation. If the couple is uncomfortable with the objector remaining at the ceremony, they could ask someone to escort the objector out.

The couple could also decide to postpone the wedding to further investigate the objection. This was common during medieval times when the custom of voicing objections was first introduced by the Catholic Church. At this time, it was difficult to check the marital status of people from other towns, as well as the ages and relations of those being married. Objections would be given under oath and the wedding would be postponed until the situation was thoroughly investigated.

However, in modern times, it is very uncommon for anyone to object during a wedding ceremony, and there are no official rules on what the wedding officiant should do.

The officiant ignores the objection

If the officiant ignores the objection, the wedding guests usually deal with the objecting party and encourage them to leave. However, this is a delicate situation that requires extreme care.

The officiant may choose to deal with the interruption with humour, and move on unless the objection is extreme. They might make a brief apology for the interruption, thank everyone for their continued support, and proceed with the ceremony.

The officiant should make sure the couple is okay and try not to draw any more attention to what just took place. It is assumed that there would be some intervention or support from others in attendance to remove the cause of the disruption.

The officiant would only pause the ceremony if the objection was extreme, such as if there was a legitimate legal objection, like proof that one partner is already married. However, this is unlikely, as most legalities of the marriage are established when applying for a marriage license.

The officiant makes light of the situation

While it is uncommon for someone to object during a wedding ceremony, it is still a possibility. If someone does object, it is largely up to the officiant to decide how to handle the situation. One option for the officiant is to make light of the interruption and continue with the ceremony.

Keeping Things Light

If an objection is raised, the officiant may choose to make light of the situation. This could involve using humour to diffuse any tension and move on from the interruption. For example, the officiant might say something like, "If someone objects to this wedding, speak now or forever hold your peace—except for Aunt Trudie." By acknowledging the possibility of an objection while also poking fun at the idea, the officiant can help to ease any discomfort or tension in the room.

Checking in with the Couple

While making light of the situation, the officiant should also be mindful of the couple's well-being. They can do this by briefly checking in with the couple to ensure they are okay and feel comfortable proceeding with the ceremony. This can be done discreetly to avoid drawing further attention to the objection.

Moving on with the Ceremony

After addressing the objection and checking in with the couple, the officiant can then proceed with the wedding ceremony as planned. This may involve simply continuing on from where they left off or making a brief apology for the interruption before moving forward. Either way, the officiant's goal is to minimise any disruption and ensure the focus remains on the couple and their special day.

Dealing with the Objector

In most cases, the officiant will not need to take any direct action towards the person who objected. However, if the objection was particularly disruptive or caused a significant disturbance, the officiant may choose to briefly address the situation. This could involve asking the objector to refrain from further interruptions or, in more extreme cases, requesting that they leave the ceremony.

Ultimately, the officiant's main priority is to ensure the couple's wedding ceremony proceeds smoothly and joyfully, despite any objections or interruptions that may occur. By handling the situation with a light-hearted approach, the officiant can help to minimise any potential disruption and keep the focus on the celebration of the couple's union.

Frequently asked questions