Rhiannon Hendricks
The wedding night is an important occasion in Islam, marking the first time a married couple comes together. While there is no obligation to have intercourse, there are several rituals and practices that are recommended or considered auspicious.
It is considered auspicious for the groom to wash the bride's feet and sprinkle the water in the room, removing poverty and inviting blessings. Couples are also encouraged to pray and recite duas, seeking Allah's blessings for a harmonious and pious union. Foreplay is highly recommended, and intercourse should be gentle and consensual.
The wedding night is also an opportunity for the couple to bond, make plans for the future, and set rules for their married life. It is a memorable occasion, often recalled fondly by couples, and exchanging gifts can add to the significance of the event.
What You'll Learn
Praying 2 raka'ahs nafl together
On the night of their wedding, it is recommended that the newlywed couple perform wuzu (ablution) and pray two rakaahs nafl (supererogatory prayer) together. The groom should lead the prayer.
The groom should begin by taking off the bride's shoes and washing her feet in a washbowl. He should then sprinkle the water around the room.
After the prayer, the groom should make the following dua (supplication) for barakah (blessing):
> Allahumma bi amaanatika akhadhtuha wa bi kalimaatika is-tah’laltuha. Fa in qaz’ayta li minha waladan, faj-’alhu mubaarakan taqiyyan min Shi’ati Aal-i Muh’ammad (s’al-lal-laahu a’layhi wa aalihi wa sallam) wa laa taj-’al lish Shayt’aani fihi shirkan wa laa naseeba.
> O Allah! I have taken her as Your trust and have made her lawful for myself by Your words. Therefore, if You have decreed for me a child from her, then make him/her blessed and pious from among the followers of the family of Muhammad; and do not let Satan have any part in him/her.
The groom should then ask the bride to perform wuzu and pray two rakaahs nafl.
When the couple is ready to go to bed, the groom should put his hand on the bride's forehead and make the following dua while facing the qiblah (direction of the Kaaba):
> Allahummar zuqni ilfahaa wa wuddaha wa rizaaha bi; warz”ini biha, wa-ajma’ baynana bi ah’sane ijtimaa’in wa anasi i-tilafin; fa innaka tuh’ibbul h’alaala wa tukrihul h’araam.
> O Allah! Bless me with her affection, love and her acceptance of me; and make me pleased with her, and bring us together in the best form of a union and in absolute harmony; surely You like lawful things and dislike unlawful things.
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Groom washing the bride's feet
The act of the groom washing the bride's feet is a significant part of the wedding night rituals in Islam. This act holds great symbolic value and is believed to bring blessings and protection to the newly married couple.
The groom begins by removing the bride's shoes and socks, symbolically helping her leave behind her past life and bid farewell to her previous home. This act of humility and service by the groom is intended to instil a sense of confidence and belonging in the bride as she embarks on this new chapter of her life.
Then, the groom washes the bride's feet with water. This is known as the Sunnah of the Holy Prophet. The water used for washing the bride's feet is considered sacred and is believed to possess spiritual and protective properties.
After washing the bride's feet, the groom collects this blessed water and sprinkles it in each corner of the room and throughout the house. According to Imam Ali, performing this ritual brings seventy kinds of blessings and protects the couple from seventy kinds of miseries. It is believed that this act invites divine blessings and removes poverty and hardships from the couple's new life together.
The groom washing the bride's feet is more than just a symbolic act; it is a physical demonstration of the groom's commitment to care for, honour, and protect his bride. It sets a tone of mutual respect, humility, and spiritual devotion as the couple embarks on their married life together.
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Groom reciting a dua and placing his hand on the bride's forehead
On the night of their wedding, the groom is encouraged to place his hand on his wife's forehead and recite a dua. This is a significant moment in a couple's life, marking the start of their married life together.
The groom should hold the forelocks (hair of the forehead) of his wife and recite the following dua:
> Allaahumma innii as-aluka khaira haa wa khairaa maa jabaltahaa ‘Alayh wa a’UUzhu bika min sharri haa wa sharri maa jabaltahaa ‘Alayh
Translated to English, this means:
> 'O Allaah, I ask You for the goodness within her and the goodness that you have made her inclined towards, and I take refuge with You from the evil within her and the evil that you have made her inclined towards.'
This dua is recommended to be recited shortly after the Aqd Nikkah. However, if the groom fears that his new wife may be upset by him taking hold of her forelocks, he can instead take hold of her hair as if he is going to kiss her and recite the dua under his breath.
The purpose of this ritual is to seek blessings for the marriage and protection from the devil. It is also a way to ask for a happy and successful union, with the groom asking Allah for the goodness within his wife and that which she is inclined towards.
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Groom and bride eating sweet foods together
In Islam, the wedding ceremony is a sacred occasion, marking the first time a man and woman come together as husband and wife. While there are variations in Muslim wedding traditions across the world, one common practice is the exchange of sweets between the bride and groom. This custom, known as Kansar Bhakshan in Hindu weddings, symbolises the couple's first meal together as a married couple and is considered a sweet moment during the ceremony.
In Iran, for instance, the sharing of refreshments and sweets is a significant part of the Nāmzadi ceremony, which occurs shortly after the formal proposal. During this ceremony, tea and Iranian desserts such as bāmiyeh (light doughnut balls), nān-e berenji (rice flour cookies), chocolates, and ājil (nuts and dried fruit) are served. Eating sweets is believed to symbolise a wish for sweetness in the couple's life together.
In some Muslim cultures, the groom's family may also offer sweets to the bride during the courtship process, known as Khastegāri in Iran. This tradition involves the groom's family presenting a bouquet of flowers and sweets to the bride's family during the initial visits.
While the specific rituals may vary, the exchange of sweets between the bride and groom is a common thread in many Islamic wedding traditions, adding a touch of sweetness to the celebration.
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Groom giving the bride a gift
In Islam, the groom is obliged to give the bride a wedding gift called a "mahr". This gift is a token of the groom's appreciation, sincerity, and warmth towards his bride. The mahr is a compulsory part of the Islamic marriage contract and is considered a gift of admission to the bride's independence, as she becomes the owner of the money or property immediately, even if she owned nothing prior to the marriage.
The mahr can be cash, jewellery, or any other valuable gift, and it is for the bride to spend as she wishes. In some cases, the mahr is merely symbolic, while in other cultures, the groom may give substantial amounts of money, land, or jewellery. According to Islamic teachings, the mahr can also be delayed according to what is agreed upon by the spouses.
The Prophet Muhammad himself gave his daughter Fatimah various gifts when she married Ali b. Abu Talib. These included modest household articles such as a sheet, a leather water bag, and a pillow stuffed with grass and fibre.
The amount of the mahr is usually agreed upon by the spouses before the wedding, and it is common for the parties to sign mahr contracts. While there is no fixed upper limit for a mahr, it is considered unIslamic for a Muslim woman to set a huge demand for herself with the intention of deterring suitors of humble means. The mahr should be fixed, taking into account the bridegroom's position in life, and it should normally not be more than he can easily afford.
In the case of a divorce, if the wife has no genuine grounds, she may return the mahr to her husband and get a Khula. However, if the wife has valid grounds for divorce, such as adultery or desertion, she is not required to return any part of the mahr.
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Frequently asked questions
It is recommended that you prepare yourself well for your wedding night. Clean and bathe yourself, and wear something that your spouse will find pleasing. You can wear your wedding dress again, but ensure it doesn't smell bad—use perfume or attar to remove any odours.
There are several recommended acts of worship for the wedding night. Firstly, the groom should wash the bride's feet and sprinkle the water in the four corners of the room. Then, the couple should perform wuzu and pray two rak'ah sunnat prayers. After this, the groom should place his hand on the bride's forehead and recite a dua.
There is no obligation to have intercourse on the first night. It is a private decision between the newlywed couple and depends on the situation and willingness of both parties. Foreplay is highly recommended to make the experience more comfortable.
It is recommended to make wudu before going to sleep after intercourse. You can perform the fardh ghusl before going to bed or after waking up for the fajr prayer.
