
Being a bridesmaid is a huge honour and a lot of fun, but it can also be hard work. Bridesmaids are usually the most important people in the bride's life, such as best friends or relatives, and they play a crucial role in supporting the bride. Bridesmaids are expected to plan and attend pre-wedding parties, help with wedding planning, and be present and available to the bride on the wedding day and the day after. This can include helping the bride in and out of cars, fixing her dress and veil, arranging decorations, and keeping the bride fed and hydrated. It's also important to be proactive, positive, and supportive, both in the lead-up to the wedding and on the day itself.
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What You'll Learn

Planning and attending pre-wedding parties
Bridal Shower or Wedding Shower:
The bridal shower is a traditional women-only celebration, including the bride, her bridesmaids, and important women from both families. It usually takes place a few weeks to three months before the wedding and is hosted by the maid of honour, bridesmaids, parents, or other close friends or relatives. During the party, the bride receives gifts and enjoys light refreshments and games. If the bride prefers a more inclusive event, she may opt for a wedding shower or couple's shower, where the groom and his friends and family are also invited.
Bachelorette Party:
The bachelorette party, usually held one to four months before the wedding, is typically planned by the maid of honour, bridesmaids, or a close friend. The first step is to ask the bride what she would like to do, as not every bride may want a wild night out. The planner can then choose a location or activity, create a guest list, pick a date, discuss the budget, send invitations, and make any necessary reservations. It is important to ensure that anyone invited to the bachelorette party is also invited to the wedding.
Bridesmaids' Luncheon:
The bridesmaids' luncheon, also known as a bridal or bridesmaid luncheon, is an optional but heartfelt way to thank the bridesmaids and other female relatives for their support. The bride usually hosts this intimate gathering in a restaurant in the same city or town as the wedding venue, and it is a chance for her to present gifts to her bridal party. It is often held the day before the wedding, after all the bridal party members have arrived and before the rehearsal dinner.
Engagement Party:
The engagement party is one of the first pre-wedding celebrations and is held to honour the couple's engagement. It usually includes close friends and family members, and it is a chance for loved ones to celebrate the upcoming nuptials.
Rehearsal Dinner:
The rehearsal dinner is typically hosted by the groom's parents, but with the increasing contribution of both sets of parents to wedding costs, the couple may plan and pay for it themselves or work out an arrangement with their families. It is held after the wedding rehearsal, providing an opportunity for the bridal party to relax and bond before the big day.
As a bridesmaid, it is essential to be proactive and supportive throughout the wedding planning process. This includes attending pre-wedding events, such as dress shopping and fittings, and offering to help the bride wherever possible. Showing up for the bride and being a part of her team are key aspects of being a fantastic bridesmaid.
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Supporting the bride emotionally
Being a bridesmaid is a huge honour and a lot of fun, but it can also be hard work. Bridesmaids are there to support the bride emotionally and be a friendly ear for any wedding planning woes. Here are some ways to support the bride emotionally in the lead-up to and on the big day:
Before the Wedding
It's important to be available and present for the bride in the months leading up to the wedding. Planning a wedding is an extremely emotional time, and the bride will need your support. Be proactive and positive, and try to turn pre-wedding events into an excuse for some fun and relaxation. Go dress shopping with the bride and her bridesmaids, and be enthusiastic about her choices, even if you hate the colour she's picked out! If you're uncomfortable with something the bride has asked you to wear, it's totally fair to bring it up before she makes any final decisions.
On the Wedding Day
Make sure the bride has everything she needs for her photos, including a touch-up lipstick, blotting papers, and her phone. Keep tissues, blotting paper, and lip gloss/lipstick to hand for touch-ups throughout the day. Help the bride in and out of cars and down stairs, and fix her dress and veil throughout the day. Keep the bride hydrated and fed, and make sure she eats breakfast. If the bride is changing outfits, she may need help getting in and out of her dresses.
After the Wedding
The wedding party often helps gather personal items, transport gifts, and participate in post-wedding events like a next-day brunch. Offer to help take leftover items back to the hotel and return any rentals to the vendor. You can also create a digital collection of any photos and videos taken by the wedding party while the couple waits for their official photos.
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Helping with the bride's dress, veil and bouquet
As a bridesmaid, you are expected to be supportive, proactive, and positive. You are also expected to show up and show interest, and be available and present. You can offer to help early on and throughout the entire planning process. You can also be a pseudo-wedding planner, event host, or unofficial therapist.
Helping with the Bride's Dress, Veil, and Bouquet
As a bridesmaid, you can help the bride choose her attire for the wedding. If the bride's dress is a ball gown, she may need help manoeuvring it when using the restroom. You can also help the bride bustle her dress during the reception. If the bride is changing outfits, she may need help getting out of one and into the other. You can also help fix her veil throughout the day, such as at the top of the aisle or when posing for photos.
As a bridesmaid, you may be asked to hold the bride's bouquet during the ceremony. You can also preserve the bouquet by putting it in water after the ceremony. You can also take the bouquet with you when helping the bride in and out of cars or down the stairs.
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Greeting guests and guiding them to their seats
As a bridesmaid, you are one of the most important people in the to-be-weds' lives, so it is important to be proactive and positive. Greeting guests and showing them to their seats is a great way to be supportive and ensure the wedding runs to schedule.
To ensure this part of the day goes well, it is a good idea to be aware of the wedding day timeline. Knowing the order of events will help you to guide guests and ensure they are in the right place at the right time. You can also work with the groomsmen to share this workload and ensure guests are welcomed and guided efficiently.
It is also important to be a point of contact for key people, such as the photographer, videographer, or florist. By introducing yourself to these people, you can help direct guests to the right places, especially if they need to be in a certain spot for photos.
Finally, as a bridesmaid, you can also help to keep the atmosphere upbeat and ensure the bride is happy and relaxed. This can be done by keeping the bride fed and hydrated, and ensuring she has everything she needs for her photos.
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Paying suppliers and tipping staff
As a bridesmaid, you may be asked to help with handing out envelopes of cash to vendors at the end of the reception or during the days following the wedding. It's a good idea to prepare these envelopes in advance, with the help of the wedding planner, and ensure that the correct amounts are included.
Tipping customs vary, even within the United States, so it's worth checking with your wedding planner or venue coordinator about the customary wedding gratuity etiquette in your area. It's also worth noting that in some countries, like Ireland or the UK, there's no obligation to tip on your wedding day, although it is still appreciated.
- Catering staff: 15-20% of the food and beverage bill, unless already included in your bill.
- Bartenders: 10-20% of the alcohol bill, if gratuity is not included.
- Transportation: 15-20% of the pre-tax bill if it's not covered within your contract.
- Delivery staff: $10-20 per delivery, or $10-$50 per person, depending on the service provided.
- Wedding planner: 15-20% of their fee, up to $500, or a nice gift.
- Photographers: Tipping is not required or expected but is appreciated. If the photographer doesn't own the studio, consider tipping each person or giving a certain amount to be dispersed to the staff.
- Florists: A custom amount, usually received at set-up or with the final payment, often divided between the florist and any assistants.
- Hair and makeup artists: 15-20% of the service, gifted when the service is completed.
- Cake bakers: Tipping is optional but appreciated, especially if they were present on-site. $50-$200, or a small gift, is a reasonable suggestion.
Remember, tipping is never mandatory, and if you don't have the funds, you can express your appreciation in other ways, such as with a handwritten thank-you note, a rave review, or by allowing them to use photos from the wedding for their portfolio.
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Frequently asked questions
Planning a wedding can be stressful, so the bride will need your support in the months leading up to the wedding. You should be available for dress shopping and fittings, and help with any wedding planning. You should also plan the hen party and create a WhatsApp group with the bride and other bridesmaids.
On the day, you should help the bride in and out of cars and down stairs, fix her dress and veil, and hold her bouquet during the ceremony. You should also make sure she stays hydrated and has eaten, and help round up family members for photos.
After the wedding, you can help to gather personal items, transport gifts, and participate in post-wedding events like a next-day brunch. You can also offer to help take leftover items back to the hotel and return any rentals to the vendor.
The bride may have a strong vision of what she wants her bridesmaids to wear, but if she asks for your input, you can chime in respectfully. If you are uncomfortable with the outfit, you should let the bride know before she makes a decision. You may also be able to pick your own footwear.
It is expected that bridesmaids will pay for their own dresses, as well as contribute to the cost of the hen party. You should also give the couple a wedding gift, which can be sent directly to them before the wedding or brought on the day.











































