Bringing A Plus One To A Wedding: Is It Allowed?

Weddings are a time for celebration, but they can also be a source of stress for both the happy couple and their guests. One common question that arises is whether guests are allowed to bring a plus-one. While there are no hard and fast rules, there are some general guidelines and etiquette tips that can help make this process smoother for everyone involved. Ultimately, the decision comes down to the couple's preferences, budget, and venue capacity.

Who gets a plus one?

While there are no set rules for who should and shouldn't get a plus one, there are some general guidelines that can help you decide. Here are the factors you need to consider:

• Budget and venue capacity: The number of plus ones you can accommodate will depend on your budget and the capacity of your venue. If you have a limited budget or a small venue, you may not be able to offer a plus one to every guest.
• Social dynamics and seating arrangements: Consider how allowing plus ones will affect the social dynamics of your wedding and your seating arrangements. You may want to ensure that your guests feel comfortable and have people they know, especially if they are travelling from out of town or won't know many other attendees.
• Consistency: It's important to be consistent with your plus-one invitations. For example, if you offer a plus one to one member of the wedding party, you should offer it to all members of the wedding party. This will help to avoid any feelings of favouritism.
• Marital status and relationships: Traditionally, married, engaged, and cohabiting guests receive a plus one. It is also common to offer a plus one to guests in serious or long-term relationships, especially if you don't know their partner well. On the other hand, new couples or those casually dating are less likely to receive a plus one.
• Family members: Whether or not to offer plus ones to family members is a matter of personal preference. Some couples choose to offer plus ones to immediate family members, while others may feel that family members will know enough people at the wedding and won't need a plus one.
• Single guests: If your single guests will know other people at the wedding, you may decide that they don't need a plus one. However, if they won't know many people, offering a plus one can make them feel more comfortable.

When deciding who gets a plus one, it's important to be mindful of your guests' feelings and try to avoid any potential hurt feelings. Remember, your wedding day should ultimately reflect what you and your partner want, so don't be afraid to set boundaries and make decisions that align with your vision and budget.

How to notify guests?

How to Notify Guests

There are several ways to notify guests about plus-ones. Here are some suggestions:

• Include a note with the invitation: One idea is to include a small printed note with the invitations of those who are welcome to bring a plus-one. This note could be slipped inside the envelope along with the invitation.
• Address the invitation to the guest and "and guest": On the outer envelope, write the guest's name followed by "and guest." For example, "Mr. James R. Smith and guest." This is a traditional way to indicate that a plus-one is invited.
• Use an inner envelope: If you are using traditional invitations with an outer and inner envelope, you can write the guest's name and "and guest" on the inner envelope.
• Include an RSVP card: On the RSVP card, you can include a line such as "____ of 2 will be attending" or "____ seats reserved in your honour." This allows guests to indicate if they will be bringing a plus-one and helps to eliminate any confusion.
• Online invitation: If you are sending online invitations, be sure to address all invitees clearly and upfront. Include the plus-one's name if you have it, or simply write "and guest."
• Wedding website: You can also include information about plus-ones on your wedding website. In the FAQ section, add an entry about plus-ones, such as "Can I bring a plus-one to the wedding? We are happy to accommodate plus-ones for those who need assistance or would like to bring a date. Please indicate this on your RSVP card."

Remember, it is important to be consistent with your invitations to avoid any confusion or hurt feelings. If one person in the bridal party or a certain group of guests is offered a plus-one, it is polite to extend the same offer to everyone in that category.

What if a guest asks for a plus one?

It is important to be prepared for guests who may ask for a plus-one, even if they were not offered one. Wedding planner Amber Harrison suggests having a clear and easily explainable criterion for who gets to invite a plus-one. For example, only allowing single attendants to bring an additional person.

If a guest asks for a plus-one, it is recommended to respond with something kind and firm, such as: "We'd love for you to bring a guest, but this is a very intimate affair." It is also advised to communicate this in person or over the phone, rather than via email.

If you are able to accommodate the guest's request, be sure to get the name of their plus-one for the seating chart and place cards. It is also important to consider the personalities and relationships of your guests when creating the seating arrangement, to avoid unwanted drama at the reception.

It is generally not recommended to ask for a plus-one if you were not offered one. Weddings are expensive, and the couple may not be able to afford it. It is also considered rude, as you are essentially asking them to spend more money just for you.

How to address the invitation?

When addressing a wedding invitation, it is important to be clear about whether or not the invitee is allowed to bring a plus-one. The standard way to indicate this is to write the invitee's name followed by "and guest". For example, "Mr. James R. Smith and guest".

If you are inviting a couple who are married or in a serious relationship, it is standard to address the invitation to both people by name. For example, "Mrs. Valerie Smith and Mrs. Hannah Woods". If you are inviting a couple who are living separately and you don't have the address of one of the parties, it is acceptable to address the invitation to the primary guest only. You can include the name of their significant other on the materials inside.

If you are inviting a single guest and you want to give them the option of bringing a plus-one, you can include a note inside with the RSVP card. This way, you avoid making assumptions about who they will bring.

If you are inviting a single guest and you do not want them to bring a plus-one, simply address the invitation to the individual you are inviting. If they send the RSVP card indicating that they will be bringing a guest, you can call them and explain that they were not invited with a plus-one.

It is also important to be clear about the number of guests you are inviting to avoid any confusion. You can do this by including a line on the RSVP card that says something like, "___ of 2 will be attending".

Finally, it is worth noting that there is no one-size-fits-all approach to plus-one etiquette. Every couple is different, and it is their day, so it is important to respect their wishes.

How to decide on a guest list?

Deciding on a guest list for your wedding can be a tricky task, especially when it comes to plus-ones. Here are some tips to help you navigate this process:

Start with Your Guest List

Begin by creating a list of people you would like to invite to your wedding. This list should include your closest friends and family members who you couldn't imagine not having by your side on your special day. It's important to be mindful of your budget and the capacity of your venue when creating this list.

Determine Your Plus-One Policy

Decide on a set of criteria to determine who will receive a plus-one. It is generally expected that members of the wedding party, immediate family members, and couples who are married, engaged, or living together will receive a plus-one. You may also want to consider offering plus-ones to out-of-town guests or single guests who won't know many other attendees.

Be Consistent

Apply your criteria consistently across your guest list. For example, if you offer a plus-one to one member of the wedding party, it is customary to extend the same courtesy to all members of the wedding party. This helps to avoid any potential hurt feelings or favouritism.

Manage Guest Expectations

When sending out invitations, be clear about who is invited. For guests with a plus-one, include "and guest" or the name of their partner on the envelope. For guests without a plus-one, address the invitation only to the individual. This will help to manage expectations and avoid any confusion or awkward conversations later on.

Prepare for Requests

Even with clear invitations, you may still receive requests from guests asking for a plus-one. Have a kind and firm response prepared, explaining that you are working within a limited budget and venue capacity. It is advisable to deliver this response in person or over the phone rather than via email.

Seating Arrangements

When planning your seating chart, try to seat single guests with people they know or with outgoing and friendly couples they are likely to get along with. This will help create a comfortable and communal atmosphere for all your guests.

Track RSVPs

Keep track of your RSVPs and follow up on any outstanding responses as the date approaches. If a guest confirms a plus-one but does not provide a name, be sure to get this information to finalise your seating chart and place cards.

Remember, your wedding day should ultimately reflect what you and your partner want. Don't be afraid to set boundaries and make decisions that align with your vision and budget.

Frequently asked questions