The Meaning Of Maid Of Honor: A Wedding Tradition Explained

The role of maid of honor is to be the bride's right-hand woman and provide support and assistance throughout the wedding planning process and on the big day itself. The maid of honor is typically the bride's closest friend or relative and is responsible for a wide range of tasks, from providing emotional support to leading the bridal party and planning events such as the bridal shower and bachelorette party. On the wedding day, the maid of honor helps the bride get ready, ensures she eats and drinks enough, and may also be in charge of the bride's bouquet and wedding rings during the ceremony. The maid of honor also has a special role in the wedding procession and typically signs the marriage license as a witness.

The role of the maid of honour

The maid of honour is the bride's right-hand woman and go-to friend before, during and after the wedding. She is usually the bride's closest friend or relative and is responsible for providing support and assistance throughout the wedding planning process and on the big day itself.

Before the wedding

The maid of honour's role begins long before the wedding day and involves a range of tasks and responsibilities. These may include:

• Providing emotional support and a listening ear to the bride
• Accompanying the bride wedding dress shopping and to fittings
• Leading and coordinating the bridal party, including introducing the bridesmaids to each other and mediating any conflicts
• Planning the bridal shower and bachelorette party, including choosing dates, locations and activities, and managing budgets
• Helping the bride choose bridesmaid dresses and ensuring they are ordered on time
• Acting as a point of contact for guests and vendors
• Attending pre-wedding events such as the engagement party, rehearsal and rehearsal dinner

On the wedding day

On the day of the wedding, the maid of honour's duties include:

• Getting ready with the bridal party and helping the bride get dressed
• Acting as a messenger between the couple and exchanging any notes or gifts
• Creating an emergency kit for the bride with items such as safety pins, fashion tape and pain relievers
• Keeping the bride calm and ensuring things stay on schedule
• Walking down the aisle before the flower girl and ring bearer
• Arranging the bride's train and veil upon her arrival at the altar
• Holding the bride's bouquet and the groom's ring during the ceremony
• Signing the marriage license as a witness
• Standing next to the groom in the receiving line (optional) and entering the reception with the best man
• Helping to bustle the bride's train and assisting her in the restroom
• Answering guests' questions and directing them to the guest book, restrooms, etc.
• Dancing with the best man and encouraging others to join on the dance floor
• Ensuring the bride eats, drinks and stays stress-free throughout the reception
• Giving a speech after the best man, relaying her love and respect for the couple
• Collecting wedding gifts and ensuring they are delivered to the couple
• Helping with any end-of-night duties, such as storing the bride's gown and wedding cake

After the wedding

Even after the wedding day, the maid of honour's role may continue with tasks such as:

• Attending the couple's farewell party
• Ensuring wedding cards and gifts are delivered to the couple
• Coordinating any outstanding expenses with the bridal party
• Checking in on the couple's home and pets while they are on their honeymoon

Planning the bridal shower

Confirm hosting responsibilities:

First, confirm with the bride, her mother, and other family members if they plan to host the bridal shower. If not, the maid of honor usually takes on the role of the host and plans the event with the help of the bridesmaids.

Finalize the guest list and budget:

Work with the bride to create a guest list of must-invite people, including close friends and family members. The final count should be between 30 and 50 people. Decide on a budget that you can comfortably afford without straining your finances.

Choose a date and time:

The bridal shower is typically held two months before the wedding. Consult the bride and her family to choose a date that works for everyone, especially those with essential guests who may be travelling.

Pick a location:

The most traditional option is to host the bridal shower at your home or the home of a relative close to the bride. Other options include restaurants, private banquet rooms, or venues that align with the bride's interests, such as an art gallery or spa. Ensure the location is easily accessible, has ample parking, and can accommodate all guests comfortably.

Create a theme:

Adding a theme is a fun way to personalize the bridal shower. Popular options include a brunch and bubbly theme, rustic theme, wine tasting, or a flower-arranging party. The theme can guide your choices for decorations, food, and activities.

Send out invitations:

Finalize, purchase, and mail the invitations about six to eight weeks before the event. Include the bride's name, date, time, location, registry information, RSVP details, and the names of the hosts.

Plan the menu and stock the bar:

The menu should feature foods and drinks that the bride enjoys. You can cater the food, cook it yourself with the help of the bridesmaids, or ask guests to bring a potluck dish. Don't forget to accommodate any dietary restrictions noted by the guests on their RSVPs.

Purchase decorations:

Look for items such as mylar letter balloons, customized posters, tassel garlands, and photo backdrops to personalize the space for the bride. Fresh flowers and candles are also great options!

Plan games and activities:

Bridal shower games are a fun way to entertain guests and help them break the ice. Some classic options include bridal bingo, wedding mad libs, and guessing trivia about the bride.

Create a playlist:

A bridal shower playlist with mood-boosting and romantic songs will provide pleasant background music for your guests as they arrive and mingle.

Set up a gift station:

Create a designated area where guests can place their gifts as they arrive, such as a table or a traditional "wishing well." During the bridal shower, the bride will open the presents, and you can record the gifts and their givers to facilitate thank-you note writing later.

Prepare a toast:

As the host, you'll want to say a few words to thank the guests for coming and to congratulate the bride. This doesn't have to be too formal or long; just a short and sweet speech will do!

Pass out favors:

It's a thoughtful touch to give out bridal shower favors as a way of thanking your guests. Favors can range from edible treats like frosted cookies to wearable items like personalized sunglasses.

Planning the bachelorette party

Decide Local vs. Destination

First, consult with the bride to determine whether she wants a local or destination celebration. While destination bachelorette parties are becoming more common, they are not always feasible for every bride. As the maid of honor, you should help the bride decide what best fits her style and budget.

Choose a Guest List

The guest list should start with the bridal party and any other close friends or family members the bride wants to invite. It is important to remember that only those invited to the wedding should be invited to the bachelorette party.

Set a Budget

Discuss the budget with the guest list in mind. Consider the costs of travel, accommodations, meals, and activities. It is important to set a budget that everyone is comfortable with.

Select a Location

If the bride chooses a destination bachelorette, help her narrow down the options by considering the time of year, budget, and her personality. If the bride prefers a local celebration, you can still plan fun activities without travelling far.

Choose a Date

The bachelorette party should ideally take place between one and three months before the wedding. Avoid hosting the party less than a month before the wedding, as this is usually a busy time for the couple.

Book Accommodations and Travel

Once you have the date and location confirmed, book your accommodations. It is recommended to book an Airbnb or VRBO to have a shared space for the group. If the bachelorette party is local, you may not need to book travel, but if it is a destination party, look into round-trip flights early on.

Plan Activities and Meals

Brainstorm activities that the bride will enjoy, considering her hobbies, personality, and energy level. Include a mix of high-energy and low-energy activities, and don't forget to plan meals and drinks as well.

Choose a Theme

The theme can be as simple as a color scheme or as creative as the bride's interests or personality. The theme can inspire your decorations, favors, and attire.

Send Invites and Collect RSVPs

Send official invites and confirm who is attending, especially if it is a destination bachelorette so you can get a final count for travel arrangements.

Purchase Decorations and Swag

Decorations, favors, games, and party swag are essential for a fun bachelorette party. Matching t-shirts, banners, customized cups, photo props, and hangover kits are all popular ideas.

Finalize the Itinerary

About a month before the party, send the final itinerary to the guests, including important information such as the address, transportation details, and any specific items they need to pack.

Pack and Travel

As the maid of honor, you should aim to arrive at the party location a couple of hours before the bride and the rest of the guests to set up and ensure everything is ready.

Celebrate!

Enjoy the bachelorette party and celebrate the bride-to-be! Don't forget to take lots of pictures and create lasting memories.

Remember, the most important thing is to communicate with the bride and ensure that the bachelorette party aligns with her vision and preferences. Happy planning!

The maid of honour's wedding day duties

The maid of honour is the bride's right-hand person on the wedding day, helping with any last-minute tasks and reducing stress. Here is a list of her responsibilities:

• Create an emergency kit with safety pins, fashion tape, and other essentials.
• Review and enforce the timeline, communicating important times to the bridal party.
• Coordinate pre-wedding festivities, such as ordering food and drinks and decorating the wedding space.
• Be the main point of contact for wedding vendors, liaising with the wedding planner and answering any questions.
• Sign the marriage license as a witness, along with the best man.
• Hold the bridal bouquet during the ceremony and assist with the bride's belongings, such as her purse and phone.
• Ensure the bride eats and drinks throughout the day, especially before leaving the bridal suite.
• Assist the mother of the bride with hair, makeup, and refreshments.
• Keep the couple separated before the ceremony if they are following the tradition of not seeing each other beforehand.
• Help the bride get dressed, ensuring all accessories and undergarments are ready.
• Provide assistance to the bride in the restroom, as she may need help managing her dress and hair.
• Serve as the bride's personal stylist, steaming out wrinkles and perfecting the veil.
• Keep the wedding rings safe until the vows are exchanged.
• Take care of the bride's bouquet after the ceremony and give it back when needed.
• Keep the bride hydrated throughout the day, offering her preferred drinks.
• Dance with the bride at the reception to kickstart the celebrations.

The maid of honour's duties may vary depending on the bride's specific needs and preferences, but these are some of the key tasks to ensure a well-organised and memorable wedding day.

The maid of honour's speech

The role of the maid of honour is to support the bride and act as the head bridesmaid. She is usually a close friend or family member of the bride and is expected to help with wedding planning and take charge of the bridal party. The maid of honour is also expected to give a speech at the reception. Here is a guide on how to deliver a memorable and heartfelt maid of honour speech:

Preparation

It is recommended to start preparing your speech at least a month or two before the wedding. Practising your speech is just as important as writing it. Practise in front of a mirror or with a trusted friend, and try to memorise as much of it as possible.

Content

Your speech should include a few key elements:

• Introduce yourself and explain your relationship with the bride.
• Express your love and gratitude for the couple.
• Share a personal anecdote or two.
• Offer well-wishes for the future.
• Keep it concise and authentic to yourself.
• Avoid inside jokes or references that only a few guests will understand.
• Stay away from taboo topics such as previous marriages/divorces, adult humour, etc.

Delivery

• Don't forget to smile! It will help you feel more confident and create a good vibe in the room.
• Try to keep your speech under five minutes to keep the attention of the guests.
• If you're nervous, try looking just above the guests' heads. This can help minimise your anxiety while making it seem like you're looking at them.
• If you don't want to memorise your speech, consider writing it down on index cards instead of reading it off your phone.

Sample Speech Outline

"Good evening, everyone. I'm [Your Name], and it's an honour to stand here today as the maid of honour for [Name]. [Name] and I have known each other for [duration of relationship], and I've had the privilege of watching her grow into the strong, confident woman she is today. I remember when she first met [Partner's Name], and I could immediately see how happy she was. Their love is an inspiration to us all, and I know that their future together will be filled with joy and adventure. So let's raise our glasses to the happy couple! Here's to a lifetime of love, laughter, and new memories."

Frequently asked questions