The Curious Custom Of Wedding Hiccups: A Symbolic Perspective

In the context of weddings, a hiccup is a small problem, change, or delay. For example, a wedding coordinator being late to decorate the venue, or a bride forgetting her bouquet at home.

Wedding guests not showing up

Wedding guest no-shows are more common than you may think. It's important to prepare for this possibility and know how to handle it gracefully. Here are some tips to help you deal with wedding guests not showing up:

Reasons for No-Shows

It's understandable to be concerned about guests not showing up to your wedding, especially if you've already sent out invitations. Remember that there are various valid reasons why guests may not attend. These can include family emergencies, sudden illnesses, transportation issues, or bad weather. Most guests who can't make it will have the courtesy to inform you beforehand.

As a general guideline, you can anticipate that around 5-10% of guests who RSVP 'yes' may not show up on the day. This means that for a small wedding of 40 guests, you might have around 2-4 no-shows. For a larger wedding of 200 guests, you could be looking at 10-20 empty chairs. Weddings that tend to have higher no-show rates include weekday weddings, weddings during busy times of the year, destination weddings, and winter weddings.

Strategies to Handle No-Shows

• Assign an Emergency Contact: Designate someone from your wedding party or family, such as a bridesmaid or the mother of the bride/groom, to be the point of contact for guests who need to inform you of their absence or lateness. Include their phone number on your wedding website so guests know who to contact.
• Send Reminders: A few days to a week before the wedding, send out reminders to all your guests via email, text, or phone call. This can help prevent guests from forgetting or mixing up the dates.
• Hope for the Best, Prepare for the Worst: While it's unlikely that a large number of guests will be no-shows, it's essential to have a plan in case it does happen. Inform your ushers about the situation and provide them with a guest list and a pen to mark off guests as they arrive. Ask them to fill up both sides of the aisle evenly during the ceremony to make any no-shows less noticeable.
• Venue and Catering Adjustments: Discuss with your venue and caterer about potential no-shows. They may be able to remove a table or adjust place settings to avoid obvious gaps at dinner. Some caterers may offer discounted rates for no-show guests if the number is small.
• Focus on What's Important: Remind yourself that your wedding day is about celebrating your love with your partner. Don't let a few empty seats ruin your special day. Chances are, guests have valid reasons for their absence.
• Follow-up with No-Show Guests: After your wedding, give your guests a grace period of about a week to get in touch and explain their absence. If you don't hear from them, reach out kindly and gently inquire about their well-being. Avoid bringing up the financial side of their no-show, as sunk costs are an inevitable part of wedding planning.

Handling Uninvited Guests

In addition to dealing with no-shows, it's also important to consider how to handle guests who show up uninvited or bring surprise plus-ones. Here are some strategies:

• Have Someone at the Door: Assign an usher or a member of your wedding party to cross-check guest names with your guest list at the venue entrance. This will help prevent gate-crashers from entering.
• Hire Wedding Security: If you're expecting uninvited guests or have concerns about toxic family members or ex-partners showing up, consider hiring wedding security to enforce the guest list.
• Plan for Non-RSVP Guests: If you have guests who didn't RSVP, assume they aren't coming. However, be prepared for the possibility that they might show up. Have a spare table or extra chairs available, and discuss with your caterer about booking a few extra meals.
• Decide on Your Policy: Determine in advance how you will handle guests who didn't RSVP or RSVP'd 'no' but show up anyway. You can choose to accommodate them, allow them to attend the ceremony only, or not let them in at all.
• Have a Guest List at the Door: Prepare a guest list and have someone check it at the door to ensure that only invited guests enter. This can help prevent unwanted guests from crashing your wedding.
• Assign Someone to Remove Unwanted Guests: If necessary, designate a member of your wedding party or hire security to remove unwanted guests from the venue. Ensure they are comfortable with this task and provide them with a list of specific people who are not welcome.
• Confront Uninvited Guests Yourself: If needed, you can choose to confront uninvited guests kindly and ask them to leave. Explain that you want to have a peaceful day and offer to discuss any issues at a later time.

Best man not showing up

The best man plays a crucial role in a wedding, and their absence can cause a lot of last-minute stress. Here are some steps to take if the best man doesn't show up:

• Communicate with the Groom: It is essential to keep the lines of communication open with the groom. Ask him if he has any idea why the best man might be absent and if there are any underlying issues. It is also crucial to respect the groom's wishes regarding how to handle the situation.
• Delegate Responsibilities: The best man usually has several duties, including planning the bachelor party, giving a speech, and assisting the groom on the wedding day. If the best man is a no-show, these tasks will need to be reassigned. The groom may want to ask a groomsman or a close friend or family member to step in, especially if there are time-sensitive tasks such as the bachelor party or the wedding day itself.
• Be Flexible with Traditions: In the absence of the best man, the wedding party may need to be flexible with traditions. For example, if the best man was supposed to give a speech, the groom may decide to forgo it or ask someone else to step in. If the best man was supposed to walk down the aisle with a bridesmaid, the processional order may need to be adjusted.
• Consider the Reason for Absence: It is worth considering the reason for the best man's absence. If it is due to unforeseen circumstances such as illness or family emergencies, the wedding party may want to reach out and offer support.
• Focus on the Couple: Ultimately, the wedding is about the couple getting married. While the absence of the best man can be disruptive, it is essential to keep the focus on the couple and ensure their needs are met. This may include finding someone to take on specific tasks or simply providing emotional support.
• Prepare for Future Weddings: If the best man's absence is due to personal issues or conflicts with the groom, it may be wise to reconsider their involvement in future weddings within the same social circle. While it is not always possible to predict these situations, it can help to minimise potential conflicts and ensure a smoother planning process for future weddings.

While the absence of the best man can be challenging, it is important to remember that weddings are about celebrating the couple's love and commitment. By delegating tasks, being flexible, and focusing on the couple, the wedding party can still create a memorable and joyful day for everyone involved.

Missing wedding rings

Losing your wedding ring can be a distressing experience, but it's important to remember that you're not alone in this situation and that rings can be replaced. Here are some steps you can take to deal with a missing wedding ring:

Don't Panic

Take a deep breath and try to remain calm. It's understandable to feel anxious or upset, but panicking won't help you find the ring. Remind yourself that your marriage is more important than the ring, and focus on taking action to locate or replace it.

Focus on Finding the Lost Ring

Try to recall when and where you last saw the ring. Retrace your steps and search the places you've been, such as your home, hotel room, car, workplace, or gym. Enlist the help of family and friends, as more eyes can increase the chances of finding it. If you suspect the ring fell down a drain or was lost in a public space, contact a plumber or the relevant authorities for assistance. Alerting your significant other and others can also be beneficial, as they can help with the search and provide emotional support.

File a Police Report

If you suspect that your ring has been stolen, or if security footage confirms theft, file a stolen property report with the local authorities immediately. The police will ask for details about when and where the ring went missing, as well as its unique features. Having a police report is also crucial if you plan to file an insurance claim.

Notify Management

If you believe the ring is missing rather than lost, notify the management of the places you've visited. They can initiate a search through their security footage, inform their staff, and check any lost and found items. This step increases the chances of recovering the ring and ensures that you will be contacted if it is found.

Contact Your Insurance Company

Get in touch with your insurance company within 24 hours of realizing your ring is missing. If you have specific insurance for your wedding ring, they can guide you through the process of filing a claim. Even if you don't have dedicated ring insurance, check with your homeowners or credit card liability insurance providers, as they may cover stolen or missing property.

Shop for a Replacement Ring

While searching for your lost ring, consider wearing a temporary replacement ring to symbolise your love and commitment. You can purchase an inexpensive ring or choose from your existing jewellery. If you decide to buy a new ring, consult your insurance company and/or jeweller to discuss options for recreating or replacing the original ring or designing a new one.

Put Preventative Measures in Place

Once you've found your old ring or acquired a new one, take steps to prevent future losses. Ensure that the ring fits properly and doesn't slip off easily, especially during cold weather when fingers tend to be smaller. Avoid wearing the ring in water, and make it a habit to place it in your pocket or purse when washing your hands in public spaces. It's also advisable to leave the ring at home when going to the gym or travelling, opting for a less expensive alternative during trips. Designate a specific resting place for your ring at home and when travelling, reducing the chances of misplacing it.

Music issues

Music is an integral part of a wedding, from the ceremony to the evening party. It can make or break the atmosphere, so it's important to get it right. Here are some common music issues that can arise at weddings and how to avoid them:

Not Hiring a Live Band or DJ

While it may seem obvious, some couples opt to forgo hiring a live band or DJ, instead choosing to play music from a phone or Bluetooth speaker. This can be a mistake as most weddings feature live music or a DJ, and your guests will likely expect to dance and have fun. Hiring a professional ensures a better experience and creates a memorable party atmosphere.

Choosing a Long First-Dance Song

When selecting your first dance song, it's crucial to consider its length. A full 4-5 minute track can feel like an eternity when you're dancing in front of your guests. Opt for a shorter song or ask your band to play a shortened version to keep the energy high and avoid boring your audience.

Not Allowing Enough Time for Soundcheck

Wedding venues often have space, access, and electricity limitations, making it challenging for bands to set up and soundcheck. Ensure you allow ample time in your schedule for your musicians to prepare and eliminate any technical issues before the party starts. Communicate any potential issues with your band beforehand to ensure a smooth setup.

Micro-Managing the Set List

While it's natural to want to choose your favourite songs, being too hands-on with the music selection can backfire. Wedding bands have extensive experience performing for diverse audiences and know how to cater to different tastes. Provide a general idea of your preferences and trust them to create a setlist that will keep your guests entertained.

Forgetting About Daytime Music

When planning wedding music, couples often focus on the evening party and neglect the daytime. Live musicians, such as acoustic singers or saxophonists, can fill the gap between the ceremony and the meal, keeping your guests entertained during lulls. Consider including music during the ceremony, drinks reception, and other daytime wedding moments.

Choosing Bands That Don't Play Songs for Everyone

When hiring a function band, it's essential to review their setlist to ensure they cater to a diverse audience. Look for bands that cover a range of genres and popular songs to keep your guests of all ages happy and engaged on the dance floor.

Not Checking Ceremony Music with the Officiant

Certain rules and regulations may restrict music choices during the wedding ceremony, especially in civil or church weddings. Consult your officiant or celebrant to avoid accidentally offensive or inappropriate songs. Be mindful of religious music restrictions and steer clear of explicit or raunchy songs.

Placing the Bar in a Different Room from the DJ or Band

Separating the bar and the dance floor can kill the party vibe. Drinking and dancing often go hand in hand, and if your guests are crowded around the bar, they may never make it to the dance floor. Keep the bar and the band or DJ in the same room to maintain a lively atmosphere.

Starting the Party Too Early

Kicking off the evening entertainment too early, like at 6 or 7 pm, can be a mistake. Guests are usually still settling in or arriving, and the energy isn't quite right. Starting later, around 8:30 or 9 pm, gives everyone time to relax, catch up, and enjoy a few drinks before letting loose on the dance floor.

Playing Inappropriate Songs

While it may seem fun to include some cheeky or risqué songs, they can fall flat or make guests uncomfortable. Avoid songs with explicit lyrics, negative messages about love, or themes of infidelity and desperation. Stick to songs that capture the happiness of the occasion and leave your guests with pleasant memories.

Playing Music That's Too Loud

While music is essential, it shouldn't drown out conversation. Excessive volume can make your guests uncomfortable and drive them away from the dance floor. Ensure your DJ or musicians perform a soundcheck to get the volume just right, creating an enjoyable atmosphere for both dancing and socialising.

Waiting Too Long to Choose Your First Dance Song

If you want your first dance song performed live, inform your musicians as early as possible. They need time to learn and rehearse the song to do it justice. Don't leave it to the last minute, or you may be disappointed if they can't accommodate your request.

Leaving It Too Late to Book Your Band or DJ

Don't fall in love with a band only to discover they're booked on your wedding date. The best acts are often reserved years in advance. If you've found your dream entertainment, don't delay. Book them as soon as possible to secure their presence at your celebration.

Late officiant

A wedding hiccup refers to a minor issue or setback that occurs during the planning process or on the wedding day. While these hiccups can be stressful, they are usually resolved without causing significant disruption to the wedding. One common wedding hiccup is a late officiant.

A late officiant can cause a range of issues, from a delayed start time to a rushed ceremony rehearsal. Here are some tips to handle a late officiant and ensure your wedding ceremony runs smoothly:

• Keep open lines of communication: Stay in regular contact with your officiant leading up to the wedding. This will help you anticipate any potential delays and make alternative arrangements if needed.
• Have a backup plan: It is always a good idea to have a backup officiant in mind, especially if your chosen officiant has a history of lateness or unreliability. Ask a close friend or family member who is well-organised and comfortable speaking in front of a crowd to step in if needed.
• Prepare in advance: Send your officiant all the necessary information, including the ceremony timeline, well in advance. This will reduce the risk of last-minute delays due to missing details.
• Rehearse without the officiant: If your officiant is running late for the rehearsal, consider going through the ceremony without them. This will help you and your wedding party familiarise yourselves with the flow and timing, even if the officiant is not present.
• Be flexible: Sometimes, delays are unavoidable. If your officiant is running late, stay calm and be flexible. You may need to adjust the ceremony timeline or make other minor changes to accommodate the delay.

By following these tips, you can minimise the impact of a late officiant and ensure your wedding ceremony proceeds as smoothly as possible. Remember to stay positive and focus on the joy of your special day!

Frequently asked questions