Best Man's Financial Duties: What To Pay For

Being the best man at a wedding comes with a lot of responsibilities, from providing moral support to the groom during the ring selection to planning the bachelor party. But what about the financial aspect? Here's a breakdown of the expenses typically associated with being the best man. Firstly, the best man is usually expected to cover the cost of their travel and accommodations for the wedding. This includes flights, hotels, and any other transportation costs. Additionally, the best man may also need to pay for pre-wedding grooming, such as a haircut or a new outfit. When it comes to the bachelor party, the cost is typically split evenly among the best man and the groomsmen, covering the groom's expenses. The best man may also choose to give a wedding gift, either individually or as a group gift with the groomsmen. Lastly, the best man usually covers the cost of their own attire, including any rentals or purchases, alterations, and cleaning. While being the best man comes with financial responsibilities, it is an honour and a privilege to play such an important role in the groom's wedding day.

Bachelor party

As the best man, you'll be expected to pay for your own expenses, including transportation, accommodation, food, drinks, and group activities. You'll also be expected to pitch in for some—if not all—of the groom's expenses, splitting the cost evenly with the other groomsmen.

If the groom wants to cover the majority of his own expenses, you and the other groomsmen can still treat him to a nice meal or pick up the tab for drinks. You might also have to front the cost for some meals or activities until you can get reimbursed by the other groomsmen.

The cost of the bachelor party is usually split evenly between all the attendants. Each guest should foot the bill for their own expenses, including transportation costs, food, drinks, and accommodations. When discussing who pays for the bachelor party, your group might also decide to equally pitch in and cover the groom's expenses (either all or some of the cost).

For destination bachelor parties, each guest is responsible for paying their own way, including flights, hotel costs, or their portion of the rental home total. If you're staying local for the bachelor party, you won't need to worry about travel expenses, but you'll still be responsible for covering the cost of your own meals, drinks, and activities.

It's a nice gesture for the host to come up with a rough estimate of the total costs and share it with the group ahead of time so that they know how much they're expected to chip in. This gives each person the ability to think about their budget and make a decision on if they can attend.

You can use apps like Splitwise, Billr, and Venmo to keep track of expenses and collect money from everyone.

Wedding gift

While the best man traditionally has a lot of responsibilities, from planning the bachelor party to giving a speech, one of the most important duties is to buy a wedding gift for the couple.

How Much to Spend on a Wedding Gift

The best man should expect to spend about $120 on a wedding gift, and potentially more if they’re attending the wedding with a plus-one. Traditionally, the best man purchases a gift from the couple’s wedding registry or gives cash. However, if the best man would prefer to give a more creative or sentimental gift, that’s okay, too.

Group Gifts

If you're worried about the cost, you could organise a group gift with the other groomsmen, which can help you save some money.

Gift Ideas

If you're stuck for ideas, you could give the couple a fancy bottle of wine or a personalised watch. If the groom is into suits, you could get him a steamer. Or, if he likes coffee, a fancy coffee machine could be a good option.

When to Give the Gift

It's a good idea to give the couple their gift before the wedding day, so they don't have to worry about storing it on the day.

Travel and accommodation

As the best man, you will be expected to pay for your travel and accommodation. This includes travel to the bachelor party, suit fitting, and the wedding itself. If you need to stay at the wedding venue for a few nights, you will also need to cover this cost.

If the wedding is close to home, you could save on accommodation costs by staying at your own home. However, if the wedding is a destination wedding, you will need to consider the additional costs of food, drink, and entertainment on top of travel and accommodation.

For a closer-to-home bachelor party, you may need to book a holiday home or apartment, reserve restaurant tables, or book VIP seats at an upmarket bar. The groom's party will usually split these costs.

If the wedding party is renting or buying their attire from the same retailer, the best man will make sure the order is placed, alterations are made, and everyone receives their attire on time.

Formalwear

As the best man, you will typically be expected to pay for your wedding outfit. This usually includes a suit and shoes. The groom may factor the purchase of the suits into the wedding budget, but it is always good to be prepared to pay for it yourself.

The type of suit you will need to buy depends on the dress code of the wedding. For a formal wedding, a tuxedo is recommended, whereas a suit is usually acceptable. Tuxedos are favoured at many events, especially if the invite includes a phrase like "black tie optional" or "black tie preferred". For a formal wedding, darker colours are best, with lighter shades reserved for more semi-formal gatherings.

If the wedding has a white-tie dress code, you will need to wear a black tailcoat or dress coat, a white dress shirt, a white waistcoat, and a white bow tie. Black trousers and dress shoes complete the outfit, with optional accessories including white gloves or a white pocket square.

For a black-tie dress code, you will need to wear a tuxedo, a crisp white dress shirt, dress shoes, and a black bow tie.

If the wedding is semi-formal, you will have more flexibility with your outfit. You could wear a sports coat with dress trousers or chinos in a contrasting colour. You could also experiment with patterns and textures to add visual interest to your ensemble.

In terms of footwear, dress shoes are the only option if you want to stay true to the formal dress code.

You can finish off your formal suit with a small selection of fine accessories. If you are wearing a tuxedo, a black tie is essential, along with an optional cummerbund. For suits, cufflinks can also be considered.

Officiant's payment

The best man traditionally has a lot of responsibilities, from planning the bachelor party to ensuring the wedding rings are safe. One of the duties that the best man should be prepared for is to pay the officiant.

Officiant Payment

The best man is usually responsible for paying the officiant on behalf of the couple. The cost of the officiant depends on various factors, including the type of ceremony, the length and complexity of the service, and the location.

Average Cost

According to the The Knot Real Weddings Study, the average cost of a wedding officiant in the US is $250, which is approximately 1% of the average wedding budget. However, this amount is not set in stone and can vary.

Religious Wedding Officiant Fee

For religious ceremonies, the cost is often determined by suggested donation amounts, which can range from a few hundred dollars to higher amounts if the couple is not a member of the institution. Religious officiants may also have more expenses if they need to travel to the venue.

Secular Wedding Officiant Fee

Secular officiants are not associated with any particular religion or institution and can perform a range of services, including elopements, interfaith, and same-sex ceremonies. Their fees can range from a couple of hundred dollars to $1,000 or more, depending on the couple's needs.

Civil Wedding Officiant Fee

Civil weddings usually take place at government-affiliated locations, such as courthouses or city halls. There is typically a fee for the marriage license, ranging from $30 to $100, and an additional fee for the civil officiant if they are traveling off-site.

Friend or Family Wedding Officiant Fee

The most affordable option is often to have a friend or family member officiate the wedding. It is important to ensure that they are ordained and certified to perform weddings in the state where the marriage will take place. The cost usually involves paying for their ministry classes or registration fees, which can range from $10 to $100, and it is considerate to give them a gift to show appreciation.

Other Factors Affecting Cost

The length and complexity of the ceremony can influence the cost. A customized, 30-minute ceremony with personal anecdotes will likely be more expensive than a standard, shorter ceremony. Local requirements, such as premarital counseling, and destination wedding expenses can also add to the overall cost.

In summary, the best man should be prepared to pay the officiant's fee, which can vary depending on the type of ceremony, the officiant's role, and other factors. It is important to discuss these details with the officiant and couple in advance to ensure a smooth and memorable wedding experience.

Frequently asked questions