The True Meaning Of Traditional Wedding Vows

Traditional wedding vows are steeped in centuries of history and are often passed down from one generation to the next. While the exact phrasing may differ, the sentiment remains the same: a lifelong commitment to love, honour, and cherish one another. These vows are a couple's promise to support each other through sickness and health, for richer or poorer, and to remain faithful until death.

The specific vows will depend on the couple's religion and culture, with different faiths and denominations having their own traditions. For example, Catholic, Protestant, and Episcopalian wedding vows may include the phrase to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health. On the other hand, Hindu weddings involve the exchange of seven vows or saptapadi, such as let us take the first step to provide for our household a nourishing and pure diet, avoiding those foods injurious to healthy living.

While some couples opt for modern or personalised vows, traditional vows remain a powerful and meaningful choice for many.

'To have and to hold': The historical meaning of this phrase is to 'keep, tend, and watch over' your partner

The traditional wedding vow "to have and to hold" is a promise of a close marital bond that cannot be broken. The historical meaning of the phrase is "to keep, tend, and watch over" your partner.

In the context of marriage, "to have" means to enjoy a sexual relationship with your partner. However, the meaning goes deeper than that. It also means to comprehend, understand, and know your partner inside out. According to the Bible, sex is about knowing your partner in all kinds of contexts—emotionally, spiritually, mentally, and physically. This exclusivity of intimacy is reflected in the Song of Solomon 2:16: "My beloved is mine, and I am his..."

"To hold" means to take care of your partner, to nourish and help them become the person God created them to be. It also means to watch over, defend, and protect them from harm. This could include protecting them from small things, such as rodents or noises, to larger threats, such as infidelity or abuse.

By including "to have and to hold" in their wedding vows, couples are promising to be there for each other, to care for and protect each other, and to foster an intimate and exclusive relationship. This phrase is a cornerstone of traditional marriage vows and sets the tone for a lifelong commitment.

'For better, for worse': This is a promise to remain committed to your partner no matter what life throws at you

"For better, for worse" is a traditional part of wedding vows in the Christian faith, as well as in civil ceremonies. The phrase is a promise to remain committed to your partner no matter what life throws at you. It is a recognition that life may not always go as planned, but that the couple will stay united and continue to support one another through thick and thin.

The phrase is often followed by "for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health", which further emphasises the sentiment. These lines are a promise to remain by your partner's side, regardless of the financial or physical situation you may find yourselves in.

The traditional wedding vows, which include the "for better, for worse" line, are as follows:

> I, [name], take you, [name], to be my [wife/husband], to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, [to love and to cherish], till death us do part, according to [God's holy ordinance/law].

The "to love and to cherish" part can be replaced with "to love, cherish, and worship" or "to love, cherish, and obey", depending on the couple's preferences and the type of ceremony.

The traditional wedding vows have remained largely unchanged over the centuries, although the word "obey" is no longer used for brides as it was in the original version from the Book of Common Prayer in 1549.

'For richer, for poorer': This vow is about more than financial stability; it's about a promise of support through thick and thin

"For richer, for poorer" is a traditional part of wedding vows in the Christian faith, as well as in civil ceremonies. The phrase is about more than financial stability; it's about a promise of mutual support through life's challenges.

The "for richer, for poorer" vow is a promise to be there for one another through financial ups and downs, recognising that economic circumstances can fluctuate. It is a pledge to support and provide for one another, regardless of financial status. This vow is about more than just money; it's about committing to face life's challenges together, whether they be related to finances or other aspects of life.

This part of the vow is a promise to work together towards financial stability and to support each other emotionally and practically during times of financial difficulty. It is a recognition that financial challenges can put a strain on a relationship and a commitment to face these challenges unitedly.

The "for richer, for poorer" vow is also about more than just the couple; it's about their community and how they choose to interact with the world around them. It's a promise to be generous and supportive towards others, regardless of their financial situation. This part of the vow is about recognising that true wealth goes beyond money and includes the richness of shared experiences, love, and community.

By including "for richer, for poorer" in their wedding vows, a couple is making a profound promise to support and care for one another, their community, and the world around them, regardless of financial circumstances. It is a pledge to face life's challenges unitedly and to strive for financial stability and generosity towards others.

'In sickness and in health': This part of the traditional vows is about caring for your partner and being there for them, both physically and mentally

"In sickness and in health" is a phrase that appears in traditional wedding vows across many religions and cultures. The phrase is a promise to care for your partner and be there for them, both physically and mentally, through life's challenges and joys. It is a commitment to selflessly serve your spouse and choose love, even when doing so is difficult.

While the specific wording may vary, the essence of this vow remains constant: to support and uphold each other through illness, injury, mental health struggles, or any other form of adversity. It is a recognition that life will bring unexpected challenges and a pledge to face them together, with love and dedication.

This part of the vow highlights the importance of being present and attentive to your partner's needs, whether they are sick or healthy. It is a reminder that marriage is not just about sharing the good times but also about standing by each other during life's trials and tribulations.

By including "in sickness and in health" in their wedding vows, couples acknowledge the potential difficulties that lie ahead and vow to approach them with love, compassion, and mutual support. This phrase is a powerful reminder that marriage is a partnership in which both individuals are committed to caring for and honouring each other, no matter what life brings their way.

While these words are not found in the Bible, they hold significant weight and meaning for couples exchanging traditional wedding vows, serving as a moral compass for their journey through sickness and health together.

'Till death do us part': This is a vow of lifelong commitment, promising to stay together until the end

"Till death do us part" is a traditional wedding vow that signifies a lifelong commitment between two partners. This phrase is often included in Catholic wedding ceremonies and has its origins in the Bible. The exact wording has evolved over time, but the meaning remains clear: a marriage pact that can only be broken by death.

The oldest standard wedding vows can be traced back to the Book of Common Prayer, authored by Thomas Cranmer, Archbishop of Canterbury. The relevant excerpt from this text reads: "I, [name], take thee, [name], to be my wedded [wife/husband], to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, cherish, and to obey, till death us do part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I plight thee my troth."

The "till death do us part" phrase is derived from the Sarum rite of medieval England, which was initially translated in the earliest versions of the Book of Common Prayer as "to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, till death us depart." Here, the word "depart" means "separate." Over time, the wording evolved, and by the 1662 version of the prayer book, it had changed to "till death us do part."

The "till death do us part" vow is a solemn promise to remain together through life's challenges and joys, in sickness and health, and through financial ups and downs. It is a declaration of enduring love and commitment, acknowledging that only death can separate the couple.

While traditional vows like these are still used in many weddings, modern couples often personalise their vows to make them more meaningful and reflective of their unique relationship. Some couples may choose to modify or omit the "till death do us part" phrase to align with their beliefs or to incorporate a more positive sentiment. Alternative phrases include "from now until always," "from this day forward," "for all the days of my life," and "until our forever and always ends."

Frequently asked questions