Wedding Registry Etiquette: Asking For What You Want

A wedding registry is a curated list of presents an engaged couple creates to make the gifting experience easier and more guided for their guests. It is meant to minimise the chances of getting duplicate items and increase the chances of receiving items that the couple actually needs and wants. While creating a registry, the couple should focus on items that make sense for the life they want to create together. It is also important to include a mix of big-ticket items and less expensive, practical finds.

Kitchenware

Cookware

A good set of cookware is a must for any couple who wants to cook together. Look for a set that includes a variety of pots and pans, such as a stockpot, saucepan, frying pan, and sauté pan. You may also want to consider a cast-iron skillet, Dutch oven, or roasting pan for more specialised cooking. If you're an avid baker, you might also want to add a few baking sheets and roasting trays to your list.

Cutlery and Crockery

You will need at least eight sets of cutlery and crockery, but preferably 12. Go for a simple, classic design that you won't tire of easily. White crockery is a safe bet, as it will go with any colour scheme and is easy to replace if anything gets broken.

Small Appliances

There are several small appliances that can be useful in the kitchen, such as a toaster, coffee maker, blender, food processor, and hand mixer. If you have the budget and the space, you might also want to consider a stand mixer, air fryer, or pressure cooker.

Utensils and Storage

Don't forget the smaller items such as utensils and storage containers. Wooden and plastic cutting boards, a set of good-quality knives, measuring cups and spoons, mixing bowls, colanders, whisks, vegetable peelers, and spatulas are all essential for a well-equipped kitchen. You may also want to add some kitchen towels, oven mitts, and meal prep containers to your list.

Homeware

Kitchenware

• Cookware: Non-stick skillets, saucepans, sauté pans, pasta pots, etc.
• Bakeware: Roasting pans, casserole dishes, baking sheets, loaf pans, muffin tins, etc.
• Knives: Serrated knives, paring knives, chef's knives, etc.
• Salt and pepper mills
• Specialty appliances: Instant Pots, air fryers, etc.
• Coffee machines: Combo coffee and espresso machines, coffee makers, etc.
• Blenders: High-powered blenders, hand blenders, etc.
• Carbonated water maker: Sodastream, Aarke Carbonator, etc.
• Barware: Muddler, cocktail shaker, jigger, bar spoon, Hawthorne strainer, specialty ice trays, ice-makers, etc.
• Motion-sensor garbage bin: Simplehuman, ZitA, etc.

Dining and Entertaining

• Dishware: Everyday dishware (8-12 settings), dessert and/or salad plates, bowls, etc.
• Drinking glasses: Everyday drinking glasses (8-12)
• Flatware: (8-12 settings)
• Steak knives: (8-12)
• Wine glasses: Red and white wine glasses
• Salad bowl and serving utensils
• Serving bowls, platters, and trays
• Coffee creamer and sugar holders
• Pitchers: For coffee or water
• Cheese and charcuterie boards
• Specialty glassware: Margarita glasses, martini glasses, rocks glasses, etc.
• Colored stemware: Estelle Colored Glass, etc.
• High-quality game sets: Chess, mahjong, etc.
• Playing cards

Linen

• Everyday sheet sets: Two sets
• Flannel/cold-weather sheets
• Bath towel sets: Four sets (body towel, hand towel, washcloth)
• Hand towels and washcloths
• Placemats: (8-12)
• Linen napkins: (8-12)
• Silk pillowcases and sleeping masks
• Makeup removal towels: Weezie, etc.
• Reusable alternatives to cotton rounds
• Fast-drying hair towels

Home Decor

• Candles and candlesticks
• Storage and organizing essentials: Baskets, bins, makeup holders, etc.
• Gift cards to home improvement stores: Lowe's, Home Depot, etc.
• Firepits and patio heat lamps
• Indoor plants and pots
• Artwork: Cash funds towards original artwork, gift cards for custom framing services (Framebridge, Artifact Uprising), etc.
• Home office essentials: Desk accessories, task lamps, computer monitor, etc.

Remember, it's essential to include items at various price points to accommodate different budgets. Additionally, consider your shared style and only add items that suit your taste and complement your existing home decor.

Honeymoon fund

A wedding registry is a curated list of presents an engaged couple creates to make the gifting experience easier for their guests. Generally, these lists are tied to both in-store and virtual retailers and should include gifts at different price points.

• The Knot Honeymoon Fund: This is a free service that allows you to include a link to your honeymoon fund on your wedding website or combine it with traditional gift ideas. You can create cash funds of any amount and continuously check your progress towards your goal. The Knot charges a low transaction fee of 2.5% but does not take any commission.
• Traveler's Joy: A free honeymoon registry service that allows couples to register for a variety of travel-related cash funds. Traveler's Joy has no sign-up or upgrade fees and offers free gift redemptions in the US. If a credit card is used, there is a 2.95% service fee, plus a small checkout fee for guests.
• Honeyfund: A free honeymoon registry that can also be used for other cash gifts such as a home down payment or charity donations. You can create a list of trips and activities or just one donation box for guests to contribute to. Honeyfund offers a fee-free option for gift cards to nearly 200 dining, shopping, and travel brands. There is a fee of 3.5% plus $0.59 to deposit funds directly into your bank account, and for most PayPal transactions, the fee is 2.59% plus $0.49.
• Honeymoon Wishes: A honeymoon registry service with exclusive partnerships with cruise lines and hotels, offering over 850 destinations in more than 70 countries. They offer live customer service and cutting-edge security. There is a service and handling fee of 3.5% for a direct funds transfer and 7% for a check, plus a 2.5% credit card processing fee for guests.
• Hitchd: A paid service dedicated exclusively to registries, with a focus on registry page design and a modern user experience. Plans range from $119 to $199 based on wedding size, but you can try it for free. Hitchd offers a wide range of cash-out options, including credit card, Venmo, and Wise. Credit cards have a processing fee of 2.9% plus $0.30, which can be paid by the couple or the gift-giver.
• Blueprint: A free platform that offers wedding website and registry building, with traditional gift and cash fund options, including honeymoon experiences. There is a 2.5% credit card processing fee covered by guests.
• Joy Honeymoon Registry: A zero-fee honeymoon fund that gives you 100% of the cash gifts you receive. Monetary contributions go directly to your PayPal, Venmo, or Cash App. Joy also offers pre-curated experience packages and the functionality to host your wedding website.

When creating your honeymoon fund, you can add specific experiences or activities that guests can contribute towards, such as "Breakfast on our honeymoon", "Private boat tour", or "Drinks on our honeymoon". This adds a personal touch and makes guests feel like they are contributing to something meaningful.

You can also include a card box at your wedding for guests who prefer to give cash or checks.

Remember, it is considered poor etiquette to include registry information or directly ask for money on your wedding invitations. Instead, integrate your wedding registry into your wedding website and share the link on your save-the-dates and invitations.

Home fund

A home fund is a great option for couples who are looking to buy a home soon after their wedding. It can be a creative and personalised way to ask for money instead of physical gifts.

A wedding registry of the past was often filled with household goods, like decor, linens, and appliances. However, nowadays, couples are increasingly opting for a home fund instead. This is especially true if they already live together and have all the household essentials.

A home fund is a cash registry set up to fund your future home. Guests can contribute any amount they like, and the money will be transferred directly to your bank account. This option gives guests a personal touch, as they help to build your new life together.

• It is best to create a profile on a specialised wedding website, such as The Knot, where you can add your cash fund alongside any physical gifts you may also be asking for.
• On these websites, you can personalise your fund with a name, note, photo, and desired amount.
• It is important to let guests know how their contribution will be used. For example, you could say that you are saving for a down payment on your dream home.
• Be mindful of how you communicate your home fund to guests. It is best to avoid mentioning it on your invitations. Instead, include the information on your wedding website or let your close family and friends spread the word.
• Always send thank-you cards to your guests, whether they contributed to your fund or not.
• Follow up with guests by explaining what their contributions achieved. For example, you could add a picture of your new home to your wedding website.

A home fund is a great, modern way to ask for money to put towards your dream home. It is a more personalised way of asking for cash, and it gives guests an idea of how their money will be used.

Hobbies

For the Couple Who Loves to Cook:

• Cookware and bakeware: If you and your partner love experimenting with new recipes, consider adding cookware and bakeware to your registry. Look for sets that include pots, pans, baking sheets, and casserole dishes.
• Appliances: Depending on your skill level and interests, you may want to add small appliances to your registry, such as a stand mixer, air fryer, Instant Pot, or a coffee maker.
• Knives: A good set of knives is essential for any home cook. Look for a set that includes a chef's knife, paring knife, and serrated knife.
• Specialty appliances: If you're into specialty cooking or baking, consider adding items like an espresso machine, waffle maker, or a pasta maker.

For the Couple Who Loves to Entertain:

• Dining and entertaining essentials: If you love hosting dinner parties or game nights, you'll need plenty of dining and entertaining essentials. Register for everyday dishware, drinking glasses, flatware, serving bowls and platters, and specialty glassware.
• Barware: For the couple who loves to craft cocktails, a nice set of barware, including a cocktail shaker, jigger, bar spoon, and specialty glasses, would be a great addition.
• Linens: Upgrade your linen game with new tablecloths, napkins, and hand towels.

For the Couple Who Loves the Outdoors:

• Camping and hiking gear: If you and your partner are outdoor enthusiasts, consider adding camping and hiking gear to your registry. This could include a tent, sleeping bags, headlamps, or a portable grill.
• Sports equipment: For the more adventurous couple, sports equipment like paddleboards, kayaks, or skis could be a fun addition to your registry.
• Outdoor dining: If you love al fresco dining, register for an outdoor dining table set, picnic basket, or a portable beach tent.

For the Couple Who Loves Relaxing at Home:

• Bedding and bath: Upgrade your bedding and bath linens with new sheets, towels, and plush robes.
• Home décor: Add some personality to your home with candles, indoor plants, artwork, or fun statement pieces like a full-length mirror.
• Tech and entertainment: For movie nights at home, consider a Bluetooth projector, a soundbar, or a smart TV.

Remember, your wedding registry should reflect your shared interests and hobbies. Don't be afraid to think outside the box and include items that you'll both enjoy!

Frequently asked questions