George Boyle
Planning an Orthodox wedding? There are a few things you'll need to tick off your to-do list. First, you'll need to find an Orthodox Church for the ceremony, as Orthodox weddings cannot take place at home or at a hotel, resort, park or beach. You'll also need to ensure you have the necessary documents, including a civil marriage license and an ecclesial license to marry, which you'll obtain from a priest. You'll also need to provide your priest with your baptismal certificates, and any divorce or marriage certificates, if applicable. Next, you'll need to select your wedding party, including a Koumbaros or Koumbara, who is a member in good standing of the Eastern Orthodox Church and will act as an ecclesiastical witness. You'll also need to decide on a date, bearing in mind that weddings cannot be scheduled during certain times of the year, including the Lenten season and Advent. You'll also need to fast before the ceremony and receive the sacraments of confession and communion. Finally, you'll need to gather the items for the ceremony, including wedding rings, crowns, and two decorated candles.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Wedding venue | The ceremony must take place in a church |
| Wedding date | The wedding date should be chosen carefully, avoiding the Lenten season, the Advent and Epiphany seasons (November 28th through January 6th), the Fasting season preceding the Feast of Saints Peter and Paul (in June) and the Feast of Dormition (in August), and special one-day fast periods. |
| Wedding party | The wedding party should be chosen carefully, with the Koumbaros/Koumbara being the most important member. The Koumbaros/Koumbara must be a member in good standing of the Eastern Orthodox Church. Additional groomsmen, bridesmaids, and ushers can be non-Orthodox but must agree to observe Eastern Orthodox traditions during the wedding. |
| Legal documents | The couple must obtain a civil marriage license and an ecclesial license to marry, including presenting their baptismal certificates/dates and any previous marriage or divorce certificates. |
| Wedding items | The couple may decide who provides the wedding rings, crowns or Stephana, and two decorated candles. |
| Wedding rituals | The Eastern Orthodox wedding ceremony includes the Betrothal, the blessing of the rings, the Crowning, the common cup ritual, and parting blessings for the newlyweds. |
| Wedding attire | The groom traditionally purchases the bride's dress and shoes, although the bride may pick them out herself. |
| Wedding exit | Guests traditionally throw rice as the bride and groom exit the church, symbolizing fertility. |
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What You'll Learn
Legal documents and licences
To be wed in the Orthodox Church, both parties must be baptised in the name of the Holy Trinity, and at least one of them must be an Orthodox Christian. If either party has been married before, a civil divorce decree must be presented, and if the previous marriage took place in the Orthodox Church, a "Decree of Ecclesial Divorce" document must also be submitted. If either party is widowed, a legal death certificate for the deceased spouse must be produced.
If the wedding is taking place in Greece, both parties must provide passport copies, full birth certificates with an Apostille stamp, and baptism records. If either party is not an Orthodox Christian, they must provide a certificate of baptism from their parish. If either party was born outside the United States and came to the country after their 18th birthday, a certificate verifying that they are single and eligible to marry should be obtained from their home country parish priest, signed by the Bishop of the home country Diocese. If either party has changed their name, an official document from the Court must be provided. If applicable, a certificate of adoption or deed poll certificate must also be provided.
To be married in the Orthodox Church, a civil marriage license must be obtained from the civil authorities and presented to the parish priest before the wedding. An ecclesiastical marriage license must also be obtained from the Diocese Department of Registry, authorising the priest to perform the sacrament.
If the wedding is taking place in Greece, the couple must bring all the original documents with them. All documents will be kept in the Town Hall and Registry Office and will not be returned.
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Wedding party members
The wedding party members are an important part of an Orthodox wedding. The Koumbaros/Koumbara, or best man/maid of honour, is a key figure in the ceremony and must be a member in good standing of the Eastern Orthodox Church. They eventually become the godparents of any future children. The Koumbaros/Koumbara is not the same as the best man/maid of honour. The latter is a legal witness, while the former is an ecclesiastical witness, attesting to the reality of the marriage before God and the Church. The Koumbaros/Koumbara may also exchange the rings and crowns and hold the ribbon as the couple walks around the ceremonial table.
The bride and groom can also designate a best man and maid of honour who are not members of the Orthodox Church. If this is the case, the Koumbaros/Koumbara stands next to the groom or bride. Additional groomsmen, bridesmaids, and ushers do not have to be Orthodox but must agree to observe the practice and etiquette of Eastern Orthodox Tradition during the wedding. The groomsmen, or best man, must be of the Orthodox faith.
The couple should inform their priest of their wedding party members and receive his blessing. The Betrothal service and Marriage (Crowning) service are one united Sacrament and must be celebrated at the same time. The couple, their priest, and their Koumbaros/Koumbara will lead the ceremony.
The wedding party members play a crucial role in supporting the couple and ensuring that the ceremony runs smoothly. They should be chosen with care and be respectful of the Orthodox traditions and rituals.
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Wedding date and venue
The wedding date and venue are two of the most important aspects of an Orthodox wedding. Here are some things to consider and prepare:
Venue
The Eastern Orthodox wedding ceremony is steeped in profound symbolism and rituals. It is a Christian ceremony that must take place in an Orthodox Church. It is not permitted to hold the wedding in any other venue, such as a home, resort, hotel, park, or beach. The church imparts a sense of sanctity and decorum to the occasion. Floral decorations are allowed, but they are usually placed on the pew ends or in front of the sanctuary.
Date
When choosing a date for your Orthodox wedding, there are a few considerations to keep in mind. Firstly, it is customary for the wedding to take place during the morning hours, preferably following the morning liturgy. Secondly, there are certain periods during the year when weddings are not allowed, such as the Lenten season, the Advent and Epiphany seasons (November 28 through January 6), the fasting season preceding the Feast of Saints Peter and Paul (June) and the Feast of Dormition (August), and special one-day fast periods. It is important to consult with your priest and choose a date that aligns with the religious calendar.
Pre-Wedding Preparations
Before the wedding, the couple is expected to attend services regularly and undergo pre-marital preparation. This period is crucial for spiritual reflection and growth as a couple. Additionally, the bride and groom are expected to fast before the ceremony, and it is customary for them to approach the confessional and partake in the Sacrament of Penance and Holy Communion to cleanse themselves of sin and come pure before the marriage altar.
Legal Documents
To be married in the Church, the couple must obtain an ecclesial license to marry. This requires several legal documents, including baptismal certificates, civil divorce decrees (if applicable), and previous marriage certificates (if previously married civilly or in the Orthodox Church). These documents are essential, and the priest will guide you through the process during your consultations.
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Wedding attire and accessories
The attire and accessories for an Orthodox wedding are steeped in tradition and symbolism. The bride and groom should fast before the ceremony and approach the confessional to partake in the Sacrament of Penance and Holy Communion. This is to ensure they are pure before the marriage altar.
The bride and groom should wear their wedding rings on their right hands, as this is the preferred hand in the Bible, indicating goodness. The rings are blessed by the priest, who then places them on the couple's hands. The sponsor or Koumbaros/Koumbara then exchanges the rings three times to signify that their lives are now forever entwined. The Koumbaros/Koumbara is an important figure, usually a member of the Eastern Orthodox Church, and they become the godparents of any future children.
The bride and groom are also crowned during the ceremony. The crowns, or stefana, are joined by a white ribbon and placed on the couple's heads by the Koumbaros/Koumbara. The crowns are then swapped three times, and the couple circles the altar three times, led by the priest and sometimes the Koumbaros/Koumbara. The number three is significant, representing the Holy Trinity. The crowns are considered very important, symbolising the glory and honour of marriage, and the unity of the couple. The crowns are often kept by the couple for life and even buried with them.
In a traditional Greek Orthodox wedding, the groom purchases the wedding dress and shoes for the bride, although many brides now choose these themselves. On the day of the wedding, the groom puts the shoes on the bride, after all the single bridesmaids have written their names on them. At the end of the night, the bridesmaid whose name has faded the least is believed to be the next to marry.
The bride and groom leave the church to the throwing of rice, symbolising fertility, although some couples now opt for rose petals or bubbles.
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Wedding rituals and customs
The Eastern Orthodox wedding ceremony is steeped in profound symbolism and ancient Byzantine ritual. The couple is led through the ceremony by their priest and their koumbaros, a role similar to the best man, who remains an important figure in the couple's life, often becoming the godparent of their future children.
The ceremony consists of two parts: the Betrothal and the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony. The Betrothal service begins at the door of the church, where the priest meets the couple and their attendants. The priest asks the couple if they come of their own free will and if they have not promised themselves to someone else. The priest then blesses the rings and places them on the couple's right hands. The koumbaros then exchanges the rings between the couple three times, signifying that their lives are now entwined forever.
The Crowning is the centerpiece of the Eastern Orthodox marriage ceremony. The koumbaros presents the couple with two crowns joined by a white ribbon, symbolizing their unity. The priest places the crowns on the couple's heads while they face the altar, then the koumbaros swaps the crowns three times. The crowns are often ornate, fashioned from garland wreaths, orange blossom, myrtle leaves, semiprecious stones and metals, or threads of gold and crimson, representing the royalty of marriage.
After the crowning, the priest reads additional Bible passages, after which the couple takes three sips of wine from a shared cup. This ritual is based on the wedding of Cana of Galilee, where Jesus turned water into wine. The cup symbolizes the couple's mutual sharing of joy and sorrow. Following this, the priest and sometimes the koumbaros lead the couple three times around the altar, on which a Bible and cross rest. The choir sings three hymns as the couple circles the table, taking their first steps as a married couple.
At the end of the ceremony, the priest recites parting blessings upon the newlyweds. To the groom, he may say:
> Be thou magnified O Bridegroom, as Abraham, and blessed as Isaac and multiply as Jacob. Walk in peace and work in righteousness, as the commandments of God.
And to the bride:
> And thou O Bride, be though magnified as Sarah, glad as Rebecca and multiply like unto Rachel, rejoicing in thine own husband, fulfilling the conditions of the law, for so it is well pleasing unto God.
Other wedding rituals and customs include the bride and groom fasting before the ceremony, and the groom buying the bridal shoes and dress. On the wedding day, all the single bridesmaids write their names on the shoes, and at the end of the night, whoever's name has faded the least is believed to be the next person to marry. As the couple leaves the church, guests traditionally throw rice as a symbol of fertility, although some now throw rose petals or blow bubbles.
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Frequently asked questions
Orthodox Christian weddings must take place in a church.
You will need to apply for an ecclesial license to marry, for which you will need:
- Your baptismal certificate
- A copy of your civil divorce papers if you have been previously married
- A copy of your civil Certificate of Marriage if you are already civilly married
- Your original ecclesial divorce certificate if you were previously married in the Orthodox Church
You will also need to obtain a civil marriage license from the city.
You will need two wedding rings, two decorated candles, and two crowns (or stefana).
The wedding day rituals include:
- A betrothal ceremony in which the rings are blessed and exchanged
- The crowning ceremony, which is the centerpiece of the wedding
- The common cup ritual, in which the couple takes three sips of wine from a shared cup
- The couple being led three times around the altar by the priest and/or koumbaros
- Parting blessings from the priest
