Bridesmaid Duties: What To Buy When Asked By The Bride

Brides-to-be often ask their friends to be their bridesmaids, and while this is an exciting moment, it can be a daunting task for both parties. The bride must consider the financial implications for her bridal party and be mindful of their schedules, and the bridesmaids must be prepared to support the bride and be available for the wedding and other events. Brides can ask their bridesmaids to purchase their own attire, but it is not customary to demand specific beauty treatments or attendance at every wedding-related event.

Bridesmaid proposal gifts

Gifts to Eat and Drink

• A bottle of bubbly with a personalised label that pops the question.
• A box of macarons with "Will you be my bridesmaid?" written on them in edible glitter.
• A bouquet of flowers with a personalised note.
• A box of gourmet candy, such as Sugarfina gummies, with the candies spelling out "Will you be my bridesmaid?".
• A wine-tasting night, where the final drink has a custom label asking your friends to be in your wedding party.
• A boozy brunch with mimosas and bacon.
• A selection of botanical lollipops, where the sticks can be planted to grow herbs.
• A custom tube of M&M's with on-theme clipart and custom pictures.

Self-Care Gifts

• A candle with a personalised label defining the role of a bridesmaid.
• A satin robe for your friends to relax in, which can also be used while getting ready on the big day.
• A scented bath bomb for your friends to wind down.
• Face masks with punny names offering different benefits, such as calming and brightening.
• A silk sleep mask to ensure your bridal party is well-rested.
• A press-on nail kit so your friends can feel put together.
• A zodiac sign candle, with a specific candle for each birthdate.

Accessories and Jewellery

• A beaded bracelet with "bridesmaid", "maid of honour" or "I do crew" written on it.
• A love knot ring to symbolise your friendship and commitment.
• A sparkly initial necklace.
• A pair of comfy slippers to ensure your friends don't get cold feet!
• A pair of trendy hair clips to ensure your friends' hair stays crease-free while they get ready.
• A set of hair ties in various shades of blue, with tags saying "To have and to hold your hair back".
• A heart-shaped trinket box to store jewellery.
• A super cute disposable camera so your bridesmaids can capture the moment they are proposed to.
• A leatherette key chain.
• A bucket hat embroidered with the word "Babe".

Other Gift Ideas

• A photo of you and your friend in a beautiful frame.
• A custom puzzle with a picture of you and your friend, with a personalised message when pieced together.
• A tote bag with each of your crew's names or wedding titles.
• A large personalised makeup bag.
• A set of "Will you be my bridesmaid?" personalised matches.
• A denim bridesmaid jacket with each of your friend's names printed on the back.
• A Friends coffee mug with "The one where you're my bridesmaid" written on it.
• A birthstone wellness tea set, with tea that steeps to each recipient's birthstone colour.
• A satin sleep mask.
• A luggage tag with a calling card, such as "Lisa, Bridesmaid".
• A book with a cheeky wedding-related theme, with a personalised note inside.
• A set of "Will you be my bridesmaid?" stickers inspired by the iconic movie Bridesmaids.
• A set of "Team Bride" socks.

Bachelorette party

Planning a bachelorette party is a big responsibility, and it's important to be mindful of the costs involved for everyone involved. While it's a chance to celebrate the bride-to-be, it's also an additional expense on top of the wedding itself, so it's key to be considerate of budgets.

Planning

The maid of honour usually takes the lead on planning, but all the bridesmaids should lend a hand. This includes helping to secure travel plans, accommodation, activities and transportation, as well as dividing up the costs so the bride's expenses are covered. It's good to get an idea of everyone's budget early on and plan accordingly.

Paying for the Bachelorette Party

If the bachelorette party is a local event, it's typical for the bridesmaids and other guests to pay for their share of the bill, as well as the bride's dinner, drinks and other activities. For destination bachelorette parties, the bride usually covers her airfare and lodging, and may chip in for other costs, too. The bridesmaids and other guests usually pay for their own costs, but not the bride's.

Gifts

Gifts are not obligatory, but it's a nice touch to give the bridesmaids a small gift to show your appreciation. This could be something like a customised tumbler, a piece of jewellery, a tote bag or a sweatshirt.

Bachelorette parties can range from a single night out to a full weekend of activities. Some popular options include boat charters, spa activities, outdoor picnics, private yoga and fitness classes, walking tours, and group classes like candle-making or cooking lessons.

Timing

There's no official guideline on when to hold a bachelorette party, but they typically take place one or two months before the wedding. It's a good idea to start planning three to six months in advance to ensure you can book everyone's preferred dates and activities.

Bridal shower

A bridal shower is a party thrown in honour of the bride-to-be, usually held a few weeks or months before the wedding. It's an opportunity for family and friends to gather and celebrate the bride, offering gifts and advice to help prepare her for married life.

Who Pays for the Bridal Shower?

The host is usually expected to pay for the bridal shower, which is most commonly the maid of honour. However, the couple's relatives, friends, or even the couple themselves may also contribute financially. If the maid of honour is hosting, it is not expected that they pay for the entire party. They can approach the bride's family and other members of the wedding party to get the ball rolling and crowdsource contributions.

Who Throws the Bridal Shower?

The bridal shower is usually hosted by someone in the wedding party, often the maid of honour, along with help from the bride's family and friends. However, there are no hard and fast rules about who hosts these days, and it is becoming more common for the couple's relatives or friends to host, or for hosting duties to be shared among a group of people.

The bridal shower usually involves food, drinks, games, and an opportunity for the bride to open gifts from her guests. The host can decide whether to stick to bridal shower traditions like gift bingo or plan something more activity-oriented like a spa day.

The bridal shower usually takes place a few weeks or months before the wedding. If you're hosting, choose a date that is convenient for the bride and the most important guests. It's common to host the bridal shower in the bride's hometown, but if most guests live elsewhere, it may be more convenient to hold it in their location.

Wedding dress

Firstly, it is important to let the bride speak first about each dress she tries on. She may love a dress, but if someone close to her expresses their dislike of it before she has given her opinion, it can ruin the moment and make her feel insecure. It is also important to be gentle with your words. Avoid saying anything too direct or critical, especially if the bride is sensitive to criticism. Instead, focus your comments on the dress itself, rather than how it looks on her. For example, you could say, "that dress is cut boxy", rather than "that dress makes you look boxy".

It is also important to follow the bride's lead. If she has a particular style, fabric, or detail in mind, try to stick to those parameters. If she is open to suggestions, you can ask questions to guide her towards dresses that might be more suitable or flattering. It is also a good idea to wait until she has tried on a few dresses before giving your opinion, so she can get a feel for what she likes and doesn't like.

Remember to keep the bride's budget in mind when suggesting dresses. It is also helpful to take photos and write down the names of the dresses she likes, so she can compare them later or look for them at a cheaper price elsewhere.

Overall, the most important thing is to support the bride and make her feel confident and happy during this special time.

Pre-wedding events

Engagement Party

The engagement party is one of the earliest pre-wedding events, and while it is not mandatory for bridesmaids to attend, their presence is often appreciated by the bride. It is essential to communicate any scheduling conflicts or difficulties in advance to ensure smooth planning.

Bridal Showers

Bridal showers are more intimate gatherings, usually organised by the maid of honour, where close friends and family celebrate the bride-to-be. As a bridesmaid, you may be expected to assist with the planning, decorations, and games for the event. It is also customary to bring a gift for the bride, something thoughtful and personal, or even a sentimental item that aligns with the wedding theme.

Bachelorette Party

The bachelorette party is a staple pre-wedding event, and bridesmaids are typically expected to attend. This event is often planned by the maid of honour, but bridesmaids may be asked to contribute ideas and suggestions. It is important to respect the bride's wishes for the party's tone and activities and not push her beyond her comfort zone.

Rehearsal Dinner

The rehearsal dinner is a more formal gathering that usually takes place the night before the wedding. Bridesmaids are expected to attend and wear semi-formal attire. This event is an opportunity for the bridal party to finalise details, run through the wedding day schedule, and offer support to the bride as she prepares for her special day.

Wedding Dress Shopping

Although not mandatory, brides often appreciate having their bridesmaids accompany them on wedding dress shopping excursions. This provides an opportunity for honest opinions and helps ensure the bride feels confident and happy with her choice. It is essential to be supportive and respectful of the bride's preferences, even if they differ from your own.

Pre-Wedding Beauty Preparations

Bridesmaids may be asked to join the bride for beauty treatments, such as manicures, pedicures, hair styling, and makeup trials. These activities are a fun way to bond and ensure everyone feels their best for the wedding. However, it is important to note that if the bride requests specific beauty treatments, such as spray tans or professional makeup, she should be the one covering the costs.

In summary, pre-wedding events are an integral part of the bridal experience, and bridesmaids play a crucial role in making these occasions memorable and enjoyable for the bride. While there may be certain expectations and demands, open communication, flexibility, and a positive attitude can help ensure everyone involved has a wonderful time.

Frequently asked questions