Extra Wedding Invites: Addressing And Avoiding Awkwardness

It's easy to order too many wedding invitations, and you might be left wondering what to do with the extras. There are many ways to repurpose your leftover invites, from framing them as a keepsake to sending them to celebrities. You could also use them as thank-you cards or turn them into a collage or scrapbook. Some people even shred the invites and put them in a clear glass ornament.

How to address a married couple with the same last name

When addressing a married couple with the same last name, it is important to use their correct titles and full names. Here are some guidelines to follow:

• Use "Mr." and "Mrs." followed by the husband's full name: "Mr. and Mrs. John Smith". This is the traditional format for addressing a married couple with the same last name.
• If you know the wife's first name, it is more appropriate to use it instead of just "Mrs.": "Mr. John Smith and Mrs. Mary Smith". This acknowledges the wife's first name and identity.
• When addressing the envelope, write their names on separate lines to avoid a cluttered appearance, especially if the last name is long.
• Always use titles (Mr., Mrs., Ms.) when addressing adults, as it is more respectful and formal.
• If you are unsure about the wife's preference for her title, it is best to ask her or her husband. It is better to ask than to assume and risk addressing the card incorrectly.
• When addressing the envelope, write the wife's name first, followed by the husband's name on the next line: "Mrs. Mary Smith/ Mr. John Smith". This is the conventional order for signing cards.
• If you are closer to the wife or she is closer to the recipient, it is acceptable to write her name first: "Mrs. Mary Smith and Mr. John Smith".
• If the couple has children, list them on the line below their parents' names, in age order, without titles or last names: "Mr. and Mrs. John Smith / Emma, James, Stephen".

How to address a married couple with different last names

When addressing a married couple with different last names, it's important to use their correct titles and full names. Here are some guidelines to follow:

• Avoid assuming that the wife has changed her name to match her husband's. It's essential to respect the wife's choice to keep her last name and address her accordingly.
• Use separate lines for each individual's name. This ensures a neat presentation, especially when dealing with long last names.
• Address the wife as "Mrs." only if you know she has changed her name. If unsure, it's best to ask her or her husband to avoid incorrect assumptions.
• Put the individuals' names on separate lines, with their titles and full names. For example:

[Name of wife]

[Name of husband]

[Address line 1]

[Address line 2]

• If you are close to one of them, you can list that person's name first. Otherwise, alphabetical order by last name is a common approach for same-gender couples.
• Avoid using only one person's first name on the same line as the other's full name. This may give the impression that one person is an afterthought.
• Always use appropriate titles (Mr., Ms., Mrs.) when addressing adults. It's a sign of respect and formality.
• Avoid addressing them as "The [Last Name] Family" if they have different last names. Respect their individual identities.
• If you're sending an invitation and want to explicitly include their children, list them on a separate line below their parents' names, without titles or last names. For example:

Mr. [Name of husband]

Ms. [Name of wife]

[Address line 1]

[Address line 2]

[Name of child 1], [Name of child 2], [Name of child 3]

Remember, it's always better to ask about name preferences than to assume and risk addressing the card incorrectly. These guidelines will help you navigate addressing married couples with different last names respectfully and accurately.

How to address a married couple with one hyphenated last name

When addressing a married couple with one hyphenated last name, it's important to get it right and be mindful of their preferences. Here are some guidelines to follow:

• Avoid assuming that the wife has taken her husband's last name. It's respectful to ask the couple about their name preferences if you're unsure.
• When addressing the envelope, write their names on separate lines. For example:

[Couple's names]

[Address]

• Use appropriate titles. Address the wife as "Mrs." if you know she has changed her name, or "Ms." if she hasn't or if you're unsure. The husband can be addressed as "Mr." followed by his name.
• If the wife has hyphenated her last name, the standard etiquette is to use "Ms." followed by her full name, including the hyphenated last name. For example: "Ms. Mary Smith-Jones."
• The order of names can vary depending on the situation. In formal situations, the husband's name is typically written first, followed by the wife's name. However, in informal situations, the wife's name can come first.
• When addressing the invitation card itself, the format changes slightly. For the outer envelope, use titles and full names, with the gentleman's name first: "Mr. Michael Jones and Ms. Mary Smith-Jones."
• For the inner envelope or formal invitation write-in line, use titles with surnames only: "Mr. Jones and Ms. Smith-Jones."
• For an informal invitation, use only the primary given names: "Mary and Michael."

How to address an unmarried couple

When addressing an unmarried couple, it's important to include both names on the wedding invitation envelopes. The outer envelope should be formal and include the recipient's full name(s) and title(s). For an unmarried couple living together, their names should be written on separate lines. The person you are closest to should be listed first, or you can go in alphabetical order if you have no preference. Here is an example:

On the outer envelope:

Mr. Stanley Kim

Ms. Amanda Rhee

On the inner envelope:

Mr. Kim and Ms. Rhee

Or

Stanley and Amanda

If you are using only one envelope, list both names on separate lines, following the same guidelines as for the outer envelope.

It's always a good idea to double-check each attendee's preferred titles and names, especially if they have non-binary identifiers or different surnames.

How to address a single person

When addressing a wedding invitation to a single person, it's important to use their preferred title. If you're unsure, it's better to leave out the title altogether. Here are some examples to illustrate how to address a single person:

Example 1: Without a Plus-One

On the outer envelope, use their title and full name. For instance:

> Ms. Ali Johnson

On the inner envelope, you can drop the title and just use their last name. For instance:

> Ms. Johnson

Example 2: With a Plus-One

On the outer envelope, use their title and full name, followed by "and Guest" to indicate the plus-one. For instance:

> Mx. Sam Li and Guest

On the inner envelope, you can write their first name and "and Guest." For instance:

> Sam Li and Guest

Additional Tips:

• If the single guest is a female, use "Ms." if she is 18 or older. For younger guests, use "Miss," spelled out, not abbreviated.
• For a single male guest, use "Mr." if he is 18 or older. If he is younger, no title is necessary.
• If your guest identifies as non-binary, you can use the honorific "Mx." If you're unsure, it's best to ask for their preferred title.
• For a widowed female guest, consider asking someone close to her if she prefers to be addressed using her married name or her husband's name. Some widows may also prefer "Ms."
• For a divorced female guest, you can use "Ms." or "Mrs." along with either her ex-husband's last name (if she still uses it) or her maiden name, depending on her preference.
• If the single guest has a distinguished title, such as a judge, priest, or military personnel, use the appropriate title before their full name.

Frequently asked questions