Lyla Dejesus
The groom's parents' responsibilities during a wedding have evolved over time. Traditionally, the bride's family bore most of the financial burden of the wedding, while the groom's parents were expected to cover specific expenses tied to their son's role in the ceremony and reception. These days, wedding expenses are often shared between both families and the couple themselves, and there is no one-size-fits-all answer to how costs are split. That said, there are still certain expenses that are traditionally covered by the groom's parents. These include the rehearsal dinner, marriage license, officiant's fee, groom's attire and accessories, bride's bouquet, and honeymoon. The groom's parents may also contribute to other areas, such as the engagement party, wedding flowers, transportation, and accommodation for out-of-town family members.
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What You'll Learn
Pre-wedding parties and celebrations
The groom's parents are traditionally responsible for hosting and paying for the rehearsal dinner, which includes choosing the location, organising the guest list, mailing the invitations, selecting the menu, and deciding on any favours. They may also be expected to contribute to the costs of pre-wedding parties or celebrations.
The groom's parents may also be involved in pre-wedding festivities, such as engagement parties. They might host a celebration in honour of the newly engaged couple, although not all couples have an engagement party.
In some cultures and religions, the groom's parents may also have certain responsibilities during the wedding ceremony. For example, in certain traditions, the groom is walked down the aisle by both of his parents. If the groom will be standing at the altar during the processional, the groom's parents are usually among the first to walk down the aisle together if they are still together. If they are divorced, they may walk down the aisle separately with escorts.
The groom's parents should also inform the couple of any traditions from their family's background—culturally and religiously—that they may want to consider adding to the wedding ceremony and/or reception. They should proofread the descriptions of any chosen traditions to ensure their accuracy.
It is important to note that wedding traditions and financial responsibilities have evolved, and modern-day etiquette has moved beyond defined roles. Many couples pay for their weddings independently, while others divide expenses based on who wants to or is able to pay. Therefore, it is essential to have open and honest conversations about financial contributions and expectations with all parties involved.
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Marriage license, officiant fees, and wedding rings
Marriage license
The cost of a marriage license varies from state to state. Traditionally, it is the responsibility of the groom or their family to cover this cost. This is seen as paving the legal route for the couple to get married.
Officiant fees
The groom's family is expected to pay for the officiant's lodging and a gift or donation. The amount they choose to donate is up to them. According to The Knot, couples put an average of $240 towards hiring a wedding officiant. However, if a religious officiant is chosen, they may not require a fee, opting instead for a donation or their wedding night stay to be covered.
Wedding rings
There are many ways for couples to approach the purchase of wedding rings. Traditionally, the bride is responsible for buying the groom's wedding ring, and the groom is responsible for buying the bride's ring. However, it is also common for couples to split the cost of the rings or for each person to pay for the other's wedding band. The groom's family may also cover the cost of the rings to ease the financial burden on the couple. The average cost of a woman's wedding band is $1,200, while a man's is $600, according to The Knot 2023 Jewelry and Engagement Study.
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Groom's attire and accessories
The groom's attire and accessories are a key part of the wedding, and there are many options to consider. The groom's parents often contribute to the wedding financially, and this may include the groom's outfit and accessories.
The groom's attire should be chosen with care and consideration. The dress code, season, and location are important factors to keep in mind. The groom should also be mindful of the colour palette chosen for the wedding and the colours the bride will be wearing. The groom should set the tone for the rest of the guests, and it is important to remember that this is an occasion to stand out and be well-dressed.
For a formal wedding, a dark suit or tuxedo is a good option. A black tuxedo is a classic choice, but a blue or grey suit can also be a stylish and elegant alternative. A bow tie is the traditional choice for a formal dress code, but a long tie is also acceptable. The fabric should be chosen with the season in mind—lighter fabrics for spring and summer, and richer fabrics for autumn and winter. For a black-tie wedding, a dark suit or tuxedo is a must, but for a more casual wedding, the groom can experiment with colour and fabrics, perhaps opting for a polo shirt or a nice sweater.
Accessories are a great way to add a personal touch to the groom's outfit. Cufflinks can be unique or personalised, and a colourful boutonniere can add a dash of colour. A pocket square or handkerchief is a stylish addition, and a tie can add a pop of colour, especially when paired with a dark suit. For a modern look, the groom can go for a 'no socks' look, and for a classic look, a polished coat is a great addition.
The groom's parents can be a great support when it comes to choosing and financing the groom's attire and accessories, and they can offer guidance and advice on what is traditional and what will work best for the wedding.
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Flowers and floral expenses
The average cost of wedding flowers in the US is around $2,723, although this can vary depending on the volume of stems, the complexity of the order, and the location. In 2023, the average floral budget for a wedding was $2,800, with costs ranging from $700 to over $10,000. The price of wedding flowers is influenced by factors such as the type of flowers, the size of the arrangements, the season, and the location of the wedding. For example, imported flowers tend to be more expensive than locally grown flowers, and flowers that are in season are usually cheaper.
To save money on floral expenses, there are a few strategies that can be employed. One option is to use more greenery than expensive flowers, as flowers are typically more expensive per stem than a stem of greens. Repurposing floral installations from the ceremony at the reception can also help to reduce costs, as well as opting for smaller vases or centrepieces that use fewer flowers. Communicating your budget and preferences to your florist early on is important, as they can provide cost-effective suggestions and alternatives that meet your expectations.
The groom's family may also be expected to cover other expenses related to the wedding, such as the groom's outfit and accessories, the marriage license, and the rehearsal dinner.
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Rehearsal dinner and honeymoon
Rehearsal Dinner
Traditionally, the groom's family is responsible for hosting and paying for the rehearsal dinner. This includes the food, drink, venue fees, entertainment, and transportation. The rehearsal dinner is a chance for the groom's family to add their style and flair to the wedding weekend, choosing the food, music, and venue that reflects their personality. It is also a way to express appreciation for those who have helped plan the wedding and a chance for both families to get to know each other.
The guest list for the rehearsal dinner typically includes the wedding party, such as bridesmaids, groomsmen, the best man, and the maid of honor, as well as the parents of the flower girl and ring bearers. Immediate family members, such as parents, siblings, and grandparents, are also usually invited. In traditional wedding etiquette, out-of-town guests are invited as a token of appreciation for their additional efforts in attending the wedding.
Honeymoon
Traditionally, the groom's family pays for the entire cost of the honeymoon, including flights, hotels, and vacation activities. However, in modern times, couples may opt to pay for their honeymoon themselves, ask their guests to contribute as a wedding gift, or create a honeymoon fund.
The groom's family's responsibilities regarding the honeymoon can be adjusted based on the couple's preferences and financial situation. Some couples may prefer to pay for certain aspects of the honeymoon themselves or contribute to the overall costs. It is important to have open and honest conversations about wedding expenses and to set a realistic budget that considers everyone's wishes and capabilities.
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Frequently asked questions
The groom's parents are generally expected to cover the costs of the rehearsal dinner, marriage license, officiant fees, and honeymoon. They may also contribute to the wedding flowers, groom's attire, and entertainment.
Yes, the groom's parents are also responsible for hosting the rehearsal dinner, which includes choosing the location, organizing the guest list, mailing invitations, and confirming any audiovisual requests for speeches. They should also ask the couple how they can help and be involved in the wedding planning process.
The groom's parents are typically responsible for transportation costs for the groom and his immediate family members traveling to the wedding. This includes transportation to and from the reception and ceremony for the groom and his best man.
Traditionally, the groom's parents are expected to cover the cost of the wedding rings, bride's bouquet, boutonnieres, and corsages for the immediate family. They may also offer to pay for the alcohol at the reception.
According to a WeddingWire survey, the groom's parents cover about 24% of wedding costs. However, there is no one-size-fits-all answer, and the contribution may vary depending on the couple's needs and preferences.
