Planning A Wedding: 3 Years Early, Possible?

Planning a wedding can be a stressful and time-consuming process, but is it possible to plan too far in advance? While some couples opt for short engagements and plan their weddings in a matter of months, others might wonder if it's beneficial to start the process years ahead of time. There are advantages and disadvantages to both approaches, and ultimately, the right timeline depends on the couple's preferences, circumstances, and priorities. So, can planning a wedding three years in advance be a good idea, or is it a recipe for unnecessary stress and complications? Let's explore the pros and cons to find out.

Budgeting and venue

Budgeting

Budgeting is one of the most important steps in the wedding planning process. It is recommended that you create a budget and stick to it. The average cost of a wedding in 2023 was over $30,000, so it is important to be realistic about what you can afford and what you are willing to pay.

• Cut down the guest list.
• Choose an off-peak wedding date and time.
• Use fresh flowers sparingly or opt for non-floral decor.
• Do DIY projects, such as making your own decor or putting together a photo booth.
• Find a venue that lets you bring your own alcohol.
• Choose a simple cake design.
• Opt for a naturally beautiful location that doesn't require a lot of extra decorations.
• Consider a local restaurant instead of a caterer.
• Borrow items from family and friends for decor.
• Shop at thrift stores or upcycle items for decor.
• Choose in-season flowers or buy wholesale flowers and arrange them yourself.
• Skip the pricey limo rental.
• Serve only wine and beer.
• Skip the pricey champagne.
• Close the bar an hour early.
• DIY your wedding invitations.
• Choose flat printing instead of letterpress or thermography printing methods.
• Find a photographer with a la carte options.
• Buy a suit instead of renting a tux.
• Opt for a dessert buffet instead of a traditional wedding cake.
• Skip the favours.
• Take advantage of seasonal sales.
• Have a friend officiate your wedding.
• Shop wedding dress sample sales.
• Rent wedding attire and decor.
• Choose items that you can resell or reuse.
• Use inexpensive filler flowers.
• Choose a non-traditional venue.
• Choose a dual-purpose venue to save on transportation costs.
• Hold your wedding at home.
• Consider a destination wedding.
• Choose a venue that accommodates both the ceremony and reception.
• Think outside the box for wedding catering.

Venue

It is recommended that you book your wedding venue early in the planning process as it sets the tone for everything else, both logistically and stylistically. Wedding venues can book up fast, so it is best to book your venue around nine to 14 months in advance. If you are planning a wedding during peak season (June, September, and October), it is recommended to book your venue 12 to 14 months in advance. For off-peak months, you can book it six to nine months in advance.

When researching venues, there are a few things to keep in mind:

• Determine your budget. It is recommended that you allocate around 15% of your total wedding budget to your venue.
• Decide on the general location. Are you planning a destination wedding or something closer to home?
• Have a general idea of the capacity requirements.
• Think about the type of venue you prefer, such as indoor or outdoor, formal or quirky, rustic or industrial.
• Consider if you want separate venues for the ceremony and reception.
• Research the season and day of the week that you would like to get married. Saturdays are the most popular day, so you may have more options if you choose a weekday.
• Be mindful of hidden costs, such as service fees, extra decorations, gratuities, and vendor tips.

When touring venues, here are some important questions to ask:

• What is the rental rate, deposit, and payment plan?
• How far in advance can I book?
• What is the cancellation policy?
• What days of the week are available? Are there any discounted rates for off-peak days?
• Are catering, music, or photography services included? If not, do I need to use an approved vendor?
• How many hours do I get to use the venue?
• What is the venue's capacity?
• What is the parking situation?
• What are the catering options, and can they accommodate dietary restrictions?
• Are there bartenders on staff, and do I need to purchase the alcohol?
• If it's an outdoor venue, are there options for inclement weather?
• Who is responsible for the setup and breakdown of the venue?

With these tips in mind, you can start your journey of finding the perfect venue for your special day.

Vendors and timing

While it is possible to plan a wedding in three months, a longer engagement period allows you to be more selective when choosing vendors and gives you more time to save money. Wedding vendors are typically booked between six months and two years in advance.

The first vendor you should hire is your wedding planner, if you choose to have one. They can help you select the best vendors for your personality and budget. The next vendors to book early (about 9-12 months in advance) are your wedding photographer, videographer, band or DJ, and caterer. These vendors tend to be booked farther in advance than others and often take up a larger portion of your overall budget.

Anything related to your wedding design, such as florists, rentals, linens, and lighting, should be booked about 6-8 months before your wedding. Wedding stationery, favours, and welcome bags can be organised about 3-6 months in advance.

If you are planning a wedding in three years, you will have plenty of time to select vendors carefully and avoid the stress of a short engagement. However, it is important to note that some vendors may not want you to book more than 18 months in advance.

A Timeline for Booking Vendors

• 12+ months before: Wedding planner, venue, photographer, videographer, band or DJ, and caterer
• 6-8 months before: Florist, rentals, linens, and lighting
• 3-6 months before: Wedding stationery, favours, and welcome bags

Wedding attire

Planning a wedding three years in advance gives you ample time to prepare and make decisions without feeling rushed. When it comes to wedding attire, here is a detailed timeline to guide you:

Three Years Before the Wedding

• Start researching wedding attire styles and trends. This will help you get a sense of the current options available and any new styles that may emerge in the coming seasons.
• If you're planning to lose weight or make significant changes to your body shape before the wedding, now is a good time to start working on that. This will ensure you can order your attire closer to your desired size.

Two Years Before the Wedding

• Continue to research and explore different styles. Save the ones you like to a vision board or a Pinterest board for future reference.
• Start making a list of local bridal salons, boutiques, and retailers that offer wedding attire. Take note of their price ranges, available sizes, and designers they carry.
• If you're planning to propose to your wedding party members (bridesmaids, groomsmen, etc.) and have them wear specific outfits, now is a good time to start thinking about their attire preferences as well.

18section-title: Months Before the Wedding

• Finalise your wedding attire budget. This includes not just the outfit but also any accessories, alterations, and shipping or rush fees that may apply.
• Start visiting bridal salons and boutiques to try on different styles and identify what works best for you. If you're set on a particular designer, enquire about their availability and ordering process.
• If you're planning to have your attire custom-made or heavily customised, now is the time to start discussing your vision with designers or seamstresses.

12 Months Before the Wedding

• By this point, you should have a good idea of the type of attire you want. Start narrowing down your options and finalising the details, such as fabric, colour, and any desired customisations.
• If you're ordering from a boutique or designer, place your order now to avoid rush fees and ensure timely delivery. Be prepared to put down a deposit, typically around 50% of the total cost.
• For custom-made attire, work closely with your designer or seamstress to finalise measurements and any design details.

6-9 Months Before the Wedding

• Start shopping for your wedding undergarments, shapewear, and intimate essentials. These will be needed for your alterations fittings to ensure a flawless fit.
• Choose your wedding shoes and accessories, including jewellery, veil, and clutch. These elements will impact the overall look of your attire, especially the hem length of your outfit.
• Schedule your wedding hair and makeup trial. The trial should take place once you have a better idea of your wedding day look, including your attire and hairstyle preferences.

3-4 Months Before the Wedding

• Your wedding attire should arrive at this point, if ordered from a boutique or designer. It's time to schedule your first alterations fitting to make any necessary customisations and ensure a perfect fit.
• If you're planning to add any special details or include something old, something new traditions in your ensemble, now is a good time to discuss these additions with your seamstress.

6-8 Weeks Before the Wedding

• Schedule your second alterations fitting. This is the time to make smaller tweaks to your attire, such as taking in the bodice or perfecting the hem length.
• Break in your wedding shoes at home to ensure comfort on the big day, especially if you're wearing heels or new shoes that need breaking in.

2-3 Weeks Before the Wedding

• Schedule your final alterations fitting. This is when you'll get to see your complete wedding day look, so consider bringing someone along to share this special moment.
• Pick up your wedding attire and check it over for any snags, discolourations, or other damage.
• Pack your wedding day bag with essentials like safety pins, fashion tape, and a sewing kit for any last-minute needs.

1 Week Before the Wedding

• If you're travelling for your wedding, carry your wedding attire onboard with you. Avoid checking it in, as it could get damaged or lost.
• A few days before the wedding, steam or iron your attire to smooth out any wrinkles from transport or storage.

The Day Before the Wedding

Relax and get a good night's rest. You want to look and feel your best on your wedding day!

Guest list and invites

Planning a wedding three years in advance gives you plenty of time to perfect your guest list and invites. Here are some tips to help you get started:

Start with a Master List

Begin by creating a master list of everyone you'd like to invite to your wedding, from immediate family and close friends to distant relatives and acquaintances. This list will likely be longer than the number of people you can actually invite, but it will give you a place to start.

Prioritize Your Guests

Next, separate your guest list into tiers of priority. The top tier, or A-list, is for the non-negotiables—the people you simply couldn't imagine getting married without. These guests are your must-haves, and they stay on the list no matter what.

Consider Your Budget and Venue

The number of guests you can invite will depend on your budget and the size of your venue. Work out how many guests you can realistically afford, and choose a venue that can accommodate your A-list guests, at a minimum. If you're having an intimate ceremony or a destination wedding, it may only be possible to invite your top-tier guests.

Involve Your Parents

Traditionally, both sets of parents have a say in the guest list, especially if they are contributing financially. Loop them into the process early on and show them your plan. Be upfront about your decisions, and let them air any concerns respectfully. You might also consider reserving a portion of the guest list for them to allocate themselves, as long as it fits within your budget and venue constraints.

Be Fair and Consistent

Try to treat members of different families equally to avoid hurt feelings. For example, if you invite four cousins, the fifth cousin will likely be upset if they're not included. Similarly, if your partner's great-grandmother is invited, yours might feel left out if they're not on the list.

Manage Expectations

Let those who might expect an invite know that your wedding will be small as early as possible. That way, you can manage their expectations before they get too high. Remember, it's your day, and you don't have to invite anyone out of guilt or obligation.

Plan for Declines

Keep in mind that some guests will likely decline your invitation. To account for this, you can create a B-list of guests to invite if you have space. Send B-list invitations by a certain deadline, and be consistent with the timing to avoid guests realizing they are on the B-list.

Send Invitations with Plenty of Notice

While the standard recommendation is to send invitations 6-8 weeks before the RSVP deadline, this may not be enough time for guests who need to arrange travel and accommodations. If many of your guests are travelling, consider sending invitations 3-4 months in advance. Just be sure not to send them too early, as plans can change, and you want to avoid an inaccurate guest count.

Collect RSVPs

Finally, give your guests a way to RSVP, such as through your wedding website. This will help you keep track of who is attending and provide a final headcount to your venue and caterers.

Pre-wedding events

Engagement Party

The engagement party is usually hosted by the couple's parents and takes place within one to three months of the engagement. It is a great way to announce and celebrate your engagement, show off your new ring, and talk about your wedding plans.

Bridal Shower or Couples' Shower

A bridal or couples' shower typically occurs a few weeks to three months before the wedding. It is often a daytime event, such as brunch or lunch, but can also be an evening celebration like a backyard BBQ. Traditionally, a bridal shower is a ladies-only event where the bride opens her gifts in front of the guests. However, modern couples may opt for a co-ed shower, celebrating with guests of all genders.

Bachelor and Bachelorette Parties

The bachelor and bachelorette parties are a chance for the bride and groom to celebrate with their closest friends. These events typically fall around three to four months before the wedding but can be held as late as one to two months before the big day. They can range from wild nights out to more low-key activities like spa visits, cooking classes, or camping trips.

Welcome Party

A welcome party is often hosted by the couple or their parents before a destination wedding or a weekend-long celebration. It is usually a cocktail-style event to welcome out-of-town guests and kick off the wedding festivities. For a local wedding, the welcome party can be paired with the rehearsal dinner the night before.

Rehearsal Dinner

The rehearsal dinner is typically held the night before the wedding and is hosted by the parents of the couple. It is a more intimate gathering for the wedding party, family, and close friends. It provides an opportunity for toasts and speeches from those who may not have a chance to speak at the reception.

Frequently asked questions