A Bridesmaid's Duties: Supporting The Bride On Her Big Day

Being a bridesmaid is a huge honour and a chance to make lifelong memories with your closest friend as they get married. However, it also means agreeing to a fairly long list of responsibilities and duties. From helping to plan the hen party and shop for wedding attire, to providing emotional support to the bride throughout the planning process, a bridesmaid has a crucial role to play in the lead up to, during, and after the wedding.

Emotional support

Bridesmaids should be the bride's emotional rock and provide moral support throughout the process. This can include making time to meet for coffee, writing funny wedding party bios for the couple's wedding website, or simply spending time with the bride during the wedding adventure.

On the wedding day, bridesmaids should help the bride combat any pre-wedding jitters and be available to help with any outfit adjustments, veils, or train smoothing. They should also be prepared to pass the bride something to eat and drink if she is too busy talking to guests or taking pictures.

In addition to providing emotional support to the bride, bridesmaids also play a key role in creating emotional moments that will be captured by the wedding photographer. This could include the first look with the bridal party when they see the bride in her wedding gown, exchanging gifts, or reading letters to each other.

Overall, being emotionally supportive as a bridesmaid means being present and available to the bride throughout the wedding planning process and on the big day itself. It's about being a good friend and providing a listening ear, words of encouragement, and practical help whenever needed.

Pre-wedding event planning

Planning a wedding can be stressful, so a key part of a bridesmaid's role is to lend a helping hand and a supportive ear to the bride and maid of honour. Bridesmaids are also expected to plan and attend pre-wedding parties, help with wedding planning tasks, and be present and available to the bride on the wedding weekend.

• Planning the hen/bachelorette party and bridal shower: This is usually led by the maid of honour, but bridesmaids are expected to lend ideas, feedback, and a helping hand with decorations and other hostess duties.
• Attending pre-wedding events: Bridesmaids are expected to attend as many pre-wedding events as possible, including the bridal shower, bachelorette party, wedding rehearsal, and rehearsal dinner.
• Offering financial support: Bridesmaids often need to chip in for the cost of pre-wedding activities, as well as contributing to the cost of the bridal shower and bachelorette party.
• Creating a WhatsApp group: A group chat with the bride, bridesmaids, and groomsmen can be a great way to stay connected and organised.
• Checking in with the couple: Regularly offering practical help and specific support is an important part of being a bridesmaid.
• Visiting the wedding venue: Bridesmaids can help the couple make decisions about the layout and décor of the venue, and meet with the wedding coordinator.
• Helping with wedding DIY: Whether it's crafting wedding favours or assembling decorations, bridesmaids can get hands-on with any wedding DIY projects.
• Wedding dress shopping: Bridesmaids are often invited to join the bride for wedding dress shopping appointments and fittings, offering positive and supportive feedback.
• Bridesmaid dress shopping: It's common for bridesmaids to go shopping together for their outfits and to find dresses that coordinate with each other and the overall wedding theme.
• Booking travel and accommodations: Bridesmaids are typically responsible for their own travel and accommodation arrangements, and it's a good idea to book early to ensure convenience and avoid last-minute stress.
• Attending beauty appointments: In the lead-up to the wedding, bridesmaids may be expected to attend beauty appointments, such as hair and makeup trials, with the bride and other bridesmaids.
• Creating a wedding day emergency kit: Putting together an emergency kit for the wedding day is often a task delegated to the bridesmaids, who can ensure that items like stain remover, a sewing kit, and other essentials are on hand.
• Rehearsal and rehearsal dinner: Bridesmaids are expected to be present at the wedding rehearsal and the rehearsal dinner, which are important for finalizing ceremony details and providing emotional support to the bride in the final moments before the big day.
• Supporting the bride emotionally: As the bride's close friends and family, bridesmaids play a crucial role in providing emotional support throughout the wedding planning process, checking in regularly and offering a listening ear.

Wedding planning tasks

As a bridesmaid, you are expected to help with wedding planning tasks. This could include assisting with DIY projects, collecting various items, and setting up the venue. You might also be asked to help the bride with wedding dress shopping and appointments.

• Stuffing envelopes
• Alphabetising escort cards
• Easy DIY projects
• Trips to pick out rentals
• Accompanying the bride to hair and makeup trials

If you have a particular skill or talent, such as crafting or design, you may be asked to help with wedding favours or wedding stationery.

It's important to remember that while you are expected to help with wedding planning, you are not a wedding coordinator, florist, caterer, or cake baker. The couple may ask you to help with specific tasks, but it's crucial to set boundaries and communicate your limits clearly.

Additionally, be mindful of the couple's wedding budget and try to find a balance between being helpful and not becoming too involved. Let the couple take the lead in how much involvement they want from you.

Finally, be prepared to assist the maid of honour with her duties, especially if you have been designated as the chief bridesmaid. This may include taking the lead on organising the bridesmaids and planning the hen/bachelorette party.

Bachelorette party planning

Planning a bachelorette party is one of the most important bridesmaid duties. While the maid of honour usually takes the lead, the rest of the bridesmaids should lend a hand wherever possible. Here's a step-by-step guide to planning a bachelorette party:

Determine the Guest List

The guest list will depend on the bride's preferences. Some brides may want just their bridal party there, while others may want to invite a larger circle of family and friends. It's important to remember that people invited to the bachelorette party should also be invited to the wedding.

Pick a Date

The host of the bachelorette party should work with the bride to select two to four potential dates. A tool like Doodle.com can be used to poll invitees on their availability. It's a good idea to select the date at least six months in advance to ensure the best options for accommodations and travel rates.

Choose a Destination

The destination will depend on factors such as climate, vibe, activity preferences, cost of flights, and the size of the group. For larger groups, renting a group house may be more cost-effective than booking hotel rooms. If you're going the hotel route, consider booking at least one suite for the group to gather and hang out.

Figure Out the Budget

Discuss with the invitees the range they are comfortable spending per night on accommodations. This will help guide your decision-making when it comes to booking accommodations and planning activities.

Pick a Theme and Plan Activities

Choosing a theme will inform decorations and help determine the types of activities to plan. For a two-day weekend, aim for two to three activities, plus some scheduled downtime. Activities can include boat charters, spa treatments, outdoor picnics, private yoga classes, walking tours, or group classes like cooking lessons.

Arrange Group Meals

If you're planning on dining out with a large group, consider reaching out to the restaurant in advance to see if they can offer a limited menu at a set price, including drinks. This can make it easier to split the bill evenly among the group.

Confirm Attendance

About four months before the bachelorette party, share estimated costs with the group so they can make their final decisions about attending. Make it clear that attendees will be responsible for their portion of the expenses even if they cancel after a certain date.

Plan the Details

As the date approaches, finalise the details such as decorations, food, drinks, and transportation. If you're creating a theme, incorporate it into these elements to make the event even more special. Don't forget to prepare party favours if you wish to provide them!

Provide Emotional Support

Remember that one of your most important roles as a bridesmaid is to provide emotional support to the bride. Be there to listen if she needs to talk, and offer words of encouragement if she's feeling stressed or overwhelmed.

Wedding day assistance

On the wedding day, a bridesmaid's role is to help ensure everything goes smoothly for the bride, the maid of honour, and the majority of the wedding guests. Here are some of the duties that bridesmaids are expected to perform on the day:

• Show up on time and prepared with dress, shoes, and accessories. It is important to be punctual to allow for hair and makeup to be completed without stress and for wedding photos to be taken.
• Keep the bride calm, happy, and hydrated. A bridesmaid is responsible for keeping stress and tension to a minimum by telling funny stories, playing the bride's favourite tunes, and keeping meddling family members out of the picture. It is also important to ensure the bride eats and stays hydrated.
• Help the bride get dressed. Getting into an intricate wedding dress can be challenging, so all bridesmaids should be on hand to ensure the bride looks and feels her best.
• Lend a hand to the maid of honour. The maid of honour may have to do some coordinating to ensure the wedding stays on schedule, so it is helpful for bridesmaids to assist her with any tasks that are needed.
• Have an emergency kit. It is a good idea for bridesmaids to help the maid of honour create a wedding day emergency kit, which might include items such as stain remover, a sewing kit, plasters, rescue remedy, etc.
• Participate in the ceremony. Bridesmaids should be in place at the ceremony venue on time, hidden out of sight, and ready for their cues to walk down the aisle. They should also know where to stand during the service and for the signing of the register.
• Be photo-ready and mingle with guests. Bridesmaids should mingle and chat with other guests, enjoy the food and drinks offered, and participate in guest-related activities like signing the guest book or visiting the photo booth.
• Help round up family members for photos.
• Assist the bride with going to the bathroom, if required.
• Keep the bride hydrated and fed. Make sure she drinks water and has a snack handy throughout the day.
• Assist with young members of the bridal party.
• Make a speech.
• Encourage guests to sign the guest book or visit the photo booth.
• Help the bride change into her second dress if she has one for dancing.
• Be first on the dance floor and encourage others to keep it filled for the night.
• Help with any send-off the couple has planned, such as a sparkler exit.
• Take the wedding bouquet and put it in water for preserving.
• Tip any staff the couple wants to tip.
• Help the bride out of her dress and pack it up so it doesn't get damaged.

Frequently asked questions