Asking Your Bridesmaids: To Email Or Not?

Planning a wedding can be a stressful task, and one of the most important decisions a bride can make is choosing her bridesmaids. Once the bridal party has been selected, the bride may consider sending an introductory email to her bridesmaids to kickstart the wedding planning process. This email can include important details such as the wedding date, location, and accommodation options for out-of-town guests. It is also an opportunity to share a brief description of each bridesmaid, their relationship with the bride, and their role in the wedding. This can be a fun way to break the ice and help the bridal party get to know each other, especially if they are coming from different friend groups or locations. While some may view this as a thoughtful gesture, others may find it unnecessary or even cheesy or cringy. Ultimately, the decision to send an email or not depends on the bride's personal preference and the dynamics of her bridal party.

Asking bridesmaids: email vs other methods

When it comes to asking your friends and family to be your bridesmaids, there are several ways to go about it. While some people opt for email, others prefer more traditional methods such as asking in person, over the phone, or via a handwritten letter or card. So, what are the pros and cons of each approach?

Using email to ask your bridesmaids can be a convenient and practical option, especially if your bridesmaids live in different locations or don't know each other well. It can be a good way to introduce everyone and provide important information such as dates, expenses, and expectations. However, some people may find email too impersonal and prefer to have a more intimate moment when asking their bridesmaids.

One way to make an email ask more personal is to include a special note to each bridesmaid, expressing what they mean to you and why you want them to be a part of your wedding. You can also add a fun introduction to each bridesmaid, sharing how you met and some interesting facts about them. This can be a great icebreaker and help your bridal party feel more connected before the wedding events.

On the other hand, asking your bridesmaids in person or over the phone can create a more intimate and exciting experience. It allows for a spontaneous reaction and gives you a chance to share your happiness in the moment. If your bridesmaids live nearby or you have the opportunity to meet them in person, this option can be more memorable and special.

Another option is to send a handwritten letter or a card, which adds a thoughtful and sentimental touch. You can even include a small gift or a "Will you be my bridesmaid?" card, making the moment more festive and allowing your bridesmaids to keep a physical memento of your request.

Ultimately, the decision of how to ask your bridesmaids depends on your personal preference and the relationships you have with your bridal party. Consider their personalities, locations, and how you want to convey your request. Whether you choose email, phone, or a handwritten note, the most important thing is to express your excitement and gratitude for their participation in your special day.

Introducing bridesmaids to each other

Sending an email to your bridesmaids is a great way to introduce them to each other, especially if they have not met before. This can be a simple way to break the ice and get everyone talking, and ensure they all feel included and part of your big day. It can also be a good way to ensure everyone has each other's contact details, and it can be a good opportunity to share key dates and information about the wedding.

Share How You Know Each Bridesmaid

One idea is to share how you know each bridesmaid and a little about their background. For example, "Bridesmaid X is an incredible artist and writer whom I've known since second grade. She has seen me through my awkward elementary school years, my teens, twenties, and now my thirties. From our youth as enthusiasts of pop punk and writing, to our present as enthusiasts of unique foods, writing, and anime, I'm so glad we've been friends for the last 20 years." This can be a lovely way to celebrate your friendship and give your bridesmaids an insight into your life and how you all know each other.

Include a Photo and a Short Bio

Another idea is to include a photo of each bridesmaid and a short, fun bio. This could be a silly or cute paragraph about each person, and it can be a great ice-breaker. It can also be a good way to highlight shared interests or experiences, which can help your bridesmaids connect with each other. For example, "Bridesmaid Y and I initially bonded over our shared love of music and our experiences as jaded transfer students. She has since become a voice of reason in my life, and we've gone on adventures in our hometowns and abroad."

Create a Private Group Chat

Instead of an email, you could create a private group chat, either via email or on social media, and introduce each bridesmaid with a photo and a short bio. This can be a more interactive way to get everyone talking and can make it easier for your bridesmaids to connect and communicate directly with each other.

Keep it Short and Sweet

Remember, you don't want to overwhelm your bridesmaids with a long email. Keep the introductions short and sweet, and focus on sharing key information and fun facts that will help your bridesmaids get to know each other. You can always share more details in person or via phone calls.

Good luck with your wedding planning, and congratulations!

What to include in the email

There are a few key things to include in your email to your bridesmaids. Firstly, it is important to introduce them to each other, especially if they have not met before. You can do this by sharing basic and personal information, such as how you met and what their interests are. This will help to break the ice and make everyone feel more comfortable. It is also a good idea to include important dates, such as the engagement party, bridal shower, rehearsal dinner, and wedding day. This will help them plan their schedules and ensure they can attend all the necessary events.

In addition, it is essential to communicate your expectations clearly. Let them know what you would like them to wear, including any specific colour or style preferences. If you are asking them to purchase their own attire, be mindful of their budgets and try to choose affordable options. You should also inform them of any other costs they may incur, such as the bachelorette party, and offer ways to reduce expenses if possible.

You may also want to include some fun and personalised details in the email. For example, you can share a story about each bridesmaid and why they are important to you. This will make them feel appreciated and valued. You can also include any ideas or plans you have for the wedding, such as the theme or any special traditions you would like to include.

Finally, don't forget to express your gratitude and excitement! Let your bridesmaids know how happy you are to have them by your side on your big day. You can also include a small gift or token of appreciation to show your thanks.

When to send the email

Sending an email to your bridesmaids is a great way to ensure everyone has all the information they need and feels included in the process. Here are some tips on when to send the email:

When to Send the Initial Email:

• It is a good idea to send an email when you first select your bridesmaids and start planning. This email can be an introduction, sharing how you know each bridesmaid and why they are important to you. It can also include some basic information about the wedding, such as the date and location, to give them an initial idea of what to expect.
• If your bridesmaids don't all know each other, the email can also serve as a virtual introduction, helping them get to know each other before the wedding. This can be done through a group email thread or a private Facebook group, where you can share photos and bios of each bridesmaid.
• If you have already asked your bridesmaids in person, you can send an email as a follow-up, providing more details about the wedding and any upcoming events, such as dress shopping or pre-wedding parties.

When to Send Updates and Reminders:

• Throughout the planning process, it is important to communicate early and often with your bridesmaids. Keep them well-informed by sending regular updates and reminders about important dates and events, such as the engagement party, bridal shower, and rehearsal dinner.
• Give them plenty of notice for bachelorette party plans and any time or money commitments. Setting expectations early will allow your bridesmaids to plan accordingly and reduce the risk of last-minute surprises.
• Closer to the wedding, send a final reminder email to ensure everyone remembers the details. This can include information about the rehearsal, any last-minute alterations, travel arrangements, and hotel accommodations.
• Remember to respect your bridesmaids' time and keep your communications concise and to the point. They have their own lives, jobs, and commitments, so try not to overwhelm them with lengthy emails or never-ending group texts.

Bridesmaids' expenses

Being a bridesmaid is a huge honour, but it can also be a major financial commitment. There are several expenses that a bridesmaid should expect to cover, and communication between the bride and her bridesmaids about these costs is key.

Outfits

Bridesmaids are typically expected to pay for their own outfits, including dresses, tuxedos, suits, and shoes. However, the bride usually provides guidelines on the style, fit, and colour. To make it more affordable, some brides may allow their bridesmaids to choose their own outfits within these guidelines. Accessories are usually an additional cost for bridesmaids, but the bride may choose to gift these.

Bridal Shower/Wedding Shower

The bridal shower is sometimes hosted and paid for by the maid of honour, the mother of the bride, or another family member. However, if the bridesmaids are hosting, they can expect to pay for this event. This may include costs for food, decor, and activities.

Bridal Shower Gift

It is considered good etiquette to bring a gift to the bridal shower. However, if a bridesmaid has already spent a significant amount on other elements, such as a destination bachelorette party, it is acceptable to forgo a gift or go in on a group gift.

Bachelorette Party

Bridesmaids typically plan and pay for the bachelorette party, covering their own costs as a minimum. Sometimes, bridesmaids may even cover the entire trip for the bride. However, for more expensive trips, it is common to only chip in for the bride's hotel or a special dinner.

Wedding Day Hotel and Travel

Bridesmaids usually cover the costs of their travel and accommodations for the wedding. However, some brides may offer to split these costs or set up discounted hotel room blocks.

Wedding Gift

Even with all the other expenses, it is customary for bridesmaids to also give a wedding gift. This could be something small from the couple's registry or a group gift purchased with other bridesmaids.

Pre-Wedding Event Attire

Themed bachelorette parties and other pre-wedding events may require bridesmaids to purchase additional outfits or accessories.

Wedding Day Essentials

Bridesmaids are responsible for bringing their own wedding day essentials, such as toiletries, medicine, touch-up makeup, and a change of clothes.

Hair and Makeup

Whether or not bridesmaids are expected to pay for hair and makeup services depends on the couple's budget and preferences. If the bride requires professional hair and makeup, it is considerate to cover the cost as a gift. Otherwise, it is optional, and bridesmaids may choose to do their own.

Transportation

Transportation to and from events on the wedding day, such as the rehearsal and photo shoot, is typically covered by the bride or couple.

Snacks and Meals

The couple should provide food for the bridal party, including meals on the wedding day, the rehearsal dinner, and snacks while getting ready.

Communication

To avoid misunderstandings and resentment, it is essential to be transparent about financial expectations from the beginning. Brides should give their bridesmaids an idea of the expected costs, and bridesmaids should be honest about what they can afford.

Frequently asked questions