Deborah Chan
Wedding invitation etiquette can be a tricky business. While there are many traditions to be mindful of, the modern world is seeing a shift towards a more casual approach. The question of whether to put your married name on wedding invitations is one that divides opinion. Traditionally, the bride's parents host the wedding, so their names would be listed first on the invitation. However, it has become more common to name both sets of parents, which is more inclusive and acknowledges the financial contribution of both families. For same-sex couples, the options are to place names in alphabetical order or choose the order based on which sounds better. When it comes to addressing the envelopes, the outer envelope is formal and includes titles and full names, while the inner envelope is more informal, with the option to leave out titles and use first names only.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Outer envelope | Formal, includes recipient's full name(s) and title(s) |
| Inner envelope | Informal, may include first names only |
| Married couple, same last name | "Mr. and Mrs. [husband's first name] [shared last name]" or "[husband's first name] and [wife's first name] [shared last name]" |
| Married couple, different last names | " [wife's first name] and [last name], and [husband's first name] and [last name]" |
| Married couple, one hyphenated last name | " [first name] and [first name] [hyphenated last name]" |
| Unmarried couple | " [first name] and [first name] [last name] and [last name]" |
| Single female | "Miss [first name] [last name]" if under 18, "Ms. [first name] [last name]" if over 18 |
| Single male | "Mr. [first name] [last name]" if over 18 |
| Single non-binary person | "Mx. [first name] [last name]" |
| Married couple, one person is a doctor | "Dr. [doctor's first name] and [partner's first name] [partner's last name]" |
| Married couple, both are doctors | "The Doctors [shared last name]" |
| Couple with distinguished titles | "The Honorable [first name] and [first name] [last name]" |
| Family, including children | "The [last name] Family" or " [parents' first names] and [last name] & Children" |
What You'll Learn
Married Couple, Same Last Name
When addressing wedding invitations to a married couple with the same last name, there are a few different options to consider. Firstly, it is important to use the correct titles and spell out the full names of the invitees. For a heterosexual couple, the outer envelope can be addressed as "Mr. and Mrs. [Husband's Full Name]". If the couple is sensitive to the wife's name being left out, you can address it as "Mr. [Husband's Full Name] and Mrs. [Wife's Full Name]" on the outer envelope. The inner envelope can then be more informal, addressed as "Mr. and Mrs. [Last Name]" or "[Husband's Name] and [Wife's Name]".
Another option is to address the couple by their first names, especially if you are close to them or prefer a more casual tone. In this case, the outer envelope can be addressed as "Mr. [Husband's Full Name] and Mrs. [Wife's Full Name]", and the inner envelope can simply be "[Husband's Name] and [Wife's Name]".
It is worth noting that the traditional way of addressing a married couple may not be preferred by everyone, especially in the case of same-sex couples. In such cases, it is appropriate to place the names in alphabetical order or choose the order based on which combination sounds the best. Additionally, the use of middle names and titles ("Mr.", "Mrs.", "Ms.") can be based on personal preference, with the inclusion of titles and middle names leaning towards a more formal invitation.
Remember to include both the first and last names of the invitees on the outer envelope, and be mindful of the couple's preferences, especially if the wife has chosen to keep her maiden name. It is always a good idea to double-check with the couple if you are unsure about their preferred names or titles.
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Married Couple, Different Last Names
When addressing wedding invitations to a married couple with different last names, it's important to follow certain etiquette guidelines to ensure your guests feel welcomed and respected. Here are some detailed instructions for addressing such invitations:
Outer Envelope:
On the outer envelope, it is appropriate to write the names of the married couple on the same line, with the woman's name listed first. If their combined names are too long to fit on one line, it is acceptable to list their names separately. Here is an example:
"Ms. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez"
It is important to note that using titles such as "Mr." and "Mrs." is still relevant and adds a formal touch to the invitation. However, always ensure you use the correct titles and avoid assuming that the wife has taken the husband's last name. If you are unsure, it is best to ask beforehand rather than risk addressing the invitation incorrectly.
Inner Envelope:
The inner envelope provides more flexibility in terms of wording. You can choose to include the titles and last names of the couple or go with a more casual approach by using only their first names. Here are some examples:
"Ms. Stevens and Mr. Estevez" or "Maria and David"
If one of the spouses has chosen to hyphenate their last name, the invitation can be addressed as follows:
Outer envelope: "Mr. Marcus Craft and Mr. Brian Crosby-Craft"
Inner envelope: "Mr. Craft and Mr. Crosby-Craft" or "Marcus and Brian"
Same-Sex Couples:
When addressing wedding invitations to same-sex couples with different last names, you have a few options. You can choose to place their names in alphabetical order or select the order based on which combination sounds better. Alphabetical order provides a neutral and easily readable structure to the invitation. Here is an example:
Outer envelope: "Ms. Celine Elgin and Ms. Jacqueline Purcell"
Inner envelope: "Ms. Elgin and Ms. Purcell" or "Celine and Jacqueline"
Unmarried Couples:
If you are inviting unmarried couples with different last names, the same guidelines apply as for married couples. List their names on separate lines, and always use their individual titles and full names. Here is an example:
"Mr. Stanley Kim and Ms. Amanda Rhee"
In conclusion, when addressing wedding invitations to married couples with different last names, it is essential to use their correct titles and full names, be mindful of the available space on the envelope, and consider the level of formality desired for the occasion.
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Married Couple, One Hyphenated Last Name
When it comes to wedding invitation etiquette, there are a few different ways to address a married couple with one hyphenated last name. Here are some options to consider:
Outer envelope: "Mr. Marcus Craft and Mr. Brian Crosby-Craft"
Inner envelope: "Mr. Craft and Mr. Crosby-Craft" or "Marcus and Brian"
Alternatively, you could address them as:
Outer envelope: "Mr. and Mrs. John Smith"
Inner envelope: "Mr. and Mrs. Smith" or "John and Jane"
If the wife has hyphenated her last name and is particular about this, you could address them as:
Outer envelope: "Mr. Billy Martin and Mrs. Jolie Maersk-Martin"
Inner envelope: "Mr. Martin and Mrs. Maersk-Martin" or "Billy and Jolie"
If you are only using one envelope, you can address them as:
"Mr. and Mrs. John Smith", "The Smith Family", or use their first names, e.g., "John and Jane".
Remember, it is essential to consider the couple's preferences and what they may be comfortable with. Some individuals may be more traditional, while others may prefer a more modern approach. It is always a good idea to double-check with the couple beforehand to ensure you are using their preferred names and titles.
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Unmarried Couple
When addressing wedding invitations to unmarried couples, there are a few things to keep in mind. Firstly, traditional etiquette dictates that each person in the couple should receive their own invitation, especially if they don't live together. However, this can be costly and inconvenient, so it is becoming more common to send a single invitation to the couple. In this case, it is important to list each person's name on a separate line, as the word "and" implies that the couple is married. For example:
> Outer envelope: "Mr. Stanley Kim
> Ms. Amanda Rhee"
> Inner envelope: "Mr. Kim
> Ms. Rhee" or "Stanley and Amanda"
It is also important to consider the order in which you write the guests' names. A good rule of thumb is to list the person you are closest with first, or to go in alphabetical order if you are equally close to both guests. Additionally, be sure to use the correct titles and spelling when addressing the envelopes. For women, use "Ms." if she is over 18, and "Miss" if she is younger.
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Single Person
When addressing a wedding invitation to a single person, the proper prefix should be used. For male guests, use "Mr." followed by their full name. For female guests, use "Ms." followed by their full name. For non-binary guests, use the abbreviation "Mx." followed by their full name.
If the single person you are inviting is a woman over the age of 20, it is more appropriate to use "Ms." instead of "Miss". This is because "Ms." does not identify a woman by her marital status.
If you are inviting a single person with a plus one, it is best to know the name of the guest's plus one. If you do not know their name, you can simply include "and Guest" or "+1" following the full name of the invitee.
Outer envelope: "Mr. James Montgomery"
Inner envelope: "Mr. Montgomery" or "James"
Outer envelope: "Ms. Stephanie Chen"
Inner envelope: "Ms. Chen and guest" or "Stephanie and guest"
Outer envelope: "Mx. Sam Li"
Inner envelope: "Sam Li and Guest"
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Frequently asked questions
Traditionally, the man's full name is written out, with the titles "Mr." and "Mrs." included. For a less traditional approach, you can include both first names individually, e.g., "Mr. and Mrs. Jackson Clarke" or "Mr. Jackson Clarke and Mrs. Mary Clarke".
Write out their full names with "Mr." or "Mrs." on the stationery. Either the man or woman can be mentioned first, e.g., "Mrs. Gwyneth Brookes and Mr. Cyan Matthews" or "Mr. Cyan Matthews and Mrs. Gwyneth Brookes".
The person with the distinguished title should be listed first, regardless of gender. For example, for a married couple where the woman is a doctor, the outer envelope could be addressed to "Dr. Sophie Peterson and Mr. Tyrone Peterson".
