The Etiquette Of Double Enveloping Wedding Invites

Wedding invitations traditionally come with two envelopes—an outer envelope and an inner envelope. The outer envelope is addressed, sealed, and stamped, while the inner envelope houses the invitation, keeping it clean and protected during mailing. The inner envelope is usually left unsealed as it doesn't need to be closed within the secured outer envelope. The use of two envelopes dates back to when mail services were not as advanced, and invitations would often get dirty or damaged in transit. While this is less of an issue today, double envelopes are still used for practicality and tradition. They also serve a purpose in indicating exactly who is invited to the wedding, especially in situations where children or plus-ones are involved.

The history of double envelopes

The use of double envelopes for wedding invitations is a long-standing tradition that dates back to the early 19th century, shortly after the Industrial Revolution. During this period, the invention of lithography revolutionized the printing industry by offering a cheaper and faster alternative to traditional calligraphy or engraving methods. This made it possible for the burgeoning middle class to send out printed wedding invitations for the first time.

However, the postal service at the time was unreliable, with invitations still being delivered by hand, on horseback, or via the Pony Express. To protect the invitations from damage during delivery, they were enclosed in two envelopes—an outer envelope to protect the inner one from the rigors of travel. The inner envelope remained unsealed as a courtesy, while the outer envelope was addressed and sealed for protection.

This tradition was further elaborated on by etiquette expert Elizabeth Post in her book "Emily Post on Weddings" (1994). She explains that the use of two envelopes is a practical solution, allowing for a clear distinction between the invited guests on the inner envelope and the heads of the household on the outer envelope. This ensures there is no confusion about who is invited, especially in the case of adults-only weddings or when specific guests are allowed to bring a plus one.

Today, despite vast improvements in postal reliability, the tradition of double envelopes persists, combining both practical and aesthetic purposes. The outer envelope protects the inner envelope from damage during mailing, ensuring that each guest receives a pristine invitation. Additionally, the inner envelope provides an opportunity for a more informal and personalised address, creating an elegant and classy presentation for wedding invitations.

The practicality of double envelopes

The use of double envelopes for wedding invitations dates back to the days when mail was delivered by horse and carriage. The outer envelope would get dirty and damaged en route, so the inner envelope served to keep the invitation clean and undamaged. While mail delivery methods have modernised, envelopes can still get torn, crumpled or bent in the post. Therefore, double envelopes provide an extra layer of protection to ensure that your invitations arrive in pristine condition.

Double envelopes also help to clarify who is invited to the wedding. The outer envelope is addressed formally to the heads of the household, while the inner envelope lists the names of everyone invited, including any children or additional family members. This avoids confusion and makes it clear if it is an adults-only wedding, for example.

Some people may view double envelopes as unnecessary, adding expense and weight, which results in higher postage costs. However, others view them as a worthwhile tradition, adding elegance and clarity to the invitations. Ultimately, it is a personal choice, and there are other ways to communicate who is invited without using double envelopes.

The cost of double envelopes

The Envelopes Themselves

Firstly, let's consider the cost of the envelopes themselves. Double envelopes typically come in a set, consisting of an outer mailing envelope and a slightly smaller inner envelope. The outer envelope is used for mailing and protection, while the inner envelope houses the invitation. The cost of these envelopes will depend on the quality and material chosen. Simple paper envelopes can be more affordable, while envelopes made from specialty paper or with added features, such as lining or custom printing, will be more expensive.

Postage

When using double envelopes, the weight of the invitation suite will likely increase, affecting the postage cost. It is essential to take a completed invitation to the post office to get an accurate postage quote. The postage cost will also depend on the number of invitations being sent out, so this should be factored into the overall cost.

Customisation and Decoration

Some couples may choose to customise or decorate their envelopes further, which can add to the cost. This may include calligraphy or hiring a professional calligrapher to address the envelopes, which can cost extra depending on the level of customisation and the number of envelopes. Additionally, decorations such as envelope liners, ribbons, or wax seals can increase the cost per envelope.

Printing Costs

Printing costs can also contribute to the overall expense of double envelopes. The outer envelope typically includes the mailing and return addresses, and sometimes decorations or motifs. The inner envelope may also be printed with the names of the invited guests. The more printing required, the higher the cost may be.

Time and Effort

Assembling and preparing double envelopes for mailing can be a time-consuming task. Stuffing the envelopes, ensuring proper addressing, and coordinating all the pieces can take significant time and effort, especially for larger weddings with many guests. While this may not be a direct monetary cost, it is essential to consider the time investment needed to prepare double envelopes for wedding invitations.

In conclusion, the cost of double envelopes for wedding invitations will depend on various factors, including the quality of the envelopes, postage, customisation, printing, and the time spent on assembly and preparation. Couples should carefully consider their budget and priorities when deciding whether to use double envelopes for their wedding invitations.

The etiquette of addressing envelopes

The outer envelope is addressed conventionally using titles, first, and last names. For example, an invitation to an unmarried couple residing at the same address is addressed with both names connected by "and". Use one or two lines, depending on length.

No abbreviations or middle initials are used when addressing formal invitations. While titles are abbreviated (Mr., Mrs., Ms., Dr.), all other words such as "Street" or "Boulevard" are spelled out. State names may be written in full or use the two-letter postal code abbreviation. Middle initials aren't used, so either write out the middle name or omit it. Generally, an invitation to parents and children is addressed to the parents: "Mr. and Mrs. James Arthur Darling".

The inner envelope bears the title and last names of the specific people invited. This allows the host to be very clear about who is invited, and by omission, who is not. If children are invited but are not receiving a separate invitation, their names may be written on a line below their parents' names on the inner envelope. If no inner envelope is used, children's names are written on the outer envelope below the names of their parents.

For example, the inner envelope for Mr. and Mrs. James Darling and the two Darling children, Sarah and Jonathan, would be written as: "Mr. and Mrs. Darling, Sarah Darling, Jonathan Darling". It's also fine to write familiar names for close family: "Aunt Martha and Uncle Bill".

When using two envelopes, the outer envelope is addressed, sealed, and stamped, and contains the slightly smaller inner envelope that houses your invitation, keeping it clean from any marks that come from mailing. The inner envelope is ungummed because it doesn't need to be sealed inside the secured outer envelope.

The two-envelope system is also useful when inviting a plus-one. Their formal name will go on the outer envelope, and the inner envelope will include their name and "and Guest" (unless you know the name of their guest).

If you're only using one envelope, include a short note with your invitation, such as: "Dear James, You're welcome to bring a guest to the wedding. Please let me know. Best, Laura."

Assembling the invitations

Once everything is addressed, take the time to assemble your invitation suite properly. If you're using an envelope liner, you should line the inner envelope, which is usually kept unsealed. Place your invitation into the addressed inner envelope so that the front is seen when you lift the envelope flap.

Then place this inside the outer envelope so that when it's opened, you can see the names written on the inner envelope. Use an envelope moistener with adhesive when it comes to sealing the outer envelope, applying even pressure to ensure a secure seal.

Other considerations

Order extra envelopes—inner and outer—in case of errors. Double-check the spelling of your guests' names before addressing the envelopes. Invitations are always addressed to both members of a married couple.

How to assemble double envelopes

Wedding invitations have traditionally included two envelopes—an inner and an outer envelope—to ensure that the invitation remains clean and undamaged during mailing. The outer envelope is addressed, sealed, and stamped, while the inner envelope houses the invitation and is left unsealed and ungummed. Here is a step-by-step guide on how to assemble your wedding invitations with double envelopes:

• Prepare your materials and space: Clear a large space to work on and set up all your materials, including envelopes, invitations, tissue paper, response items, stamps, and envelope sealer or glue.
• Assemble your invitation materials: Gather all your wedding invitations and fold them if necessary. The order of insertions may vary depending on the type of invitation. For flat or single-fold cards, place any additional materials such as tissue paper and response cards on top. For multiple-fold cards, place the insertions within the first fold.
• Stack the invitation and enclosure cards: Place the invitation card on the bottom, print side up. If using tissue paper or a vellum overlay, place it on top of the invitation card. Then, add the reception card (if applicable) face-up on top of the invitation. Place any remaining enclosure cards, such as a map, hotel accommodations, or travel information cards, face up on top of the reception card. If there are multiple enclosure cards, order them from largest to smallest, with the largest card on top of the invitation.
• Add the RSVP card and envelope: Place the reply envelope face-down on top of the enclosure cards, with the flap on the left. Insert the reply card under the reply envelope flap, face-up, so that the printed side is visible. Pre-address and pre-stamp the reply envelope.
• Place the complete invitation ensemble inside the inner envelope: Insert the invitation, response card/envelope, and enclosures into the inner envelope, printed side up. The inner envelope is traditionally left unsealed.
• Place the inner envelope inside the outer envelope: Flip the inner envelope so that the guest's name is facing out. Slide the inner envelope into the addressed, sealed, and stamped outer envelope.
• Seal and address the outer envelope: Use an envelope moistener with adhesive to seal the outer envelope, applying even pressure to ensure a secure seal. Address the outer envelope by hand or use computer calligraphy.
• Weigh and post your invitations: Bring a completed invitation to the post office to get an accurate postage quote. You may also want to request hand-cancelling to prevent damage caused by machines.

Frequently asked questions