Wedding Plus-One: To Bring Or Not To Bring?

Deciding whether or not to bring a date to a wedding can be a tricky situation to navigate. It's important to first check your invitation to see if a +1 is specified. If not, it's best to assume that you are invited alone. If you are given a +1, it's important to consider the nature of your relationship with your date. If it's a new relationship, it may be too soon to bring them along as a wedding signifies that your date holds a level of importance in your life beyond just a fling. It's also crucial to ensure that your date won't cause any drama or embarrassment and that they are comfortable in social settings.

If you're in a new relationship

Another factor to consider is how well you know your date's behaviour in social settings. Weddings can evoke strong emotions, and it's crucial to know how your date handles these situations. You don't want to find out on someone else's special day that they react poorly in social settings. Additionally, it's important to ensure your date can handle themselves appropriately in an open bar setting.

It's also worth considering the impact on the couple whose wedding you're attending. Bringing a plus-one can add to the cost of the wedding, so it's essential to be respectful of the couple's budget.

If you're unsure about bringing a new partner as your date to a wedding, it's best to trust your instincts. If you feel it's too soon or that the relationship isn't ready for such a step, it's perfectly fine to attend the wedding solo. You can always introduce your partner to your friends and family at a later date when you feel more confident and sure about the relationship.

If you're not exclusive

Define the Relationship

It's crucial to have a conversation about what "exclusive dating" means to each of you. Exclusive dating means that both individuals are only focused on each other and are not romantically involved with anyone else. However, it's different from being in a committed relationship, as it allows both parties to continue getting to know each other and testing their compatibility before making a long-term commitment.

Assess the Situation

Before deciding to bring a date to a wedding, take stock of your current situation. Ask yourself the following questions: Are you casually dating multiple people? Are you and your date on the same page about not being exclusive? Is your date comfortable with you bringing someone else to the wedding? Being clear about your relationship status and expectations can prevent misunderstandings and hurt feelings.

Consider the Impact

Bringing a date to a wedding when you're not exclusive can have consequences for your relationship dynamic. It may send mixed signals to your date and give the impression that you're more committed than you actually are. Additionally, your date may feel pressured or obligated to reciprocate gestures of commitment, even if they're not ready.

Weigh the Benefits

Bringing a date to a wedding can have its advantages. It can be a fun way to spend time with someone you're interested in and create a memorable experience together. It can also provide an opportunity to get to know each other better in a different context and explore potential compatibility.

Make an Informed Decision

Ultimately, the decision to bring a date to a wedding when you're not exclusive depends on your specific circumstances. If you and your date have a clear understanding of your relationship status and are comfortable with the idea, then it could be a positive experience. However, if there is any uncertainty or ambiguity, it may be wiser to attend the wedding solo or with a friend.

If you're unsure about the relationship

If you're unsure about your relationship, bringing a plus-one to a wedding can be a tricky decision to navigate. It's important to consider the message it sends to your community and whether you're ready to introduce your date to friends and family. Here are some things to keep in mind if you're unsure about your relationship and wondering if you should bring a plus-one to a wedding:

• Exclusivity: If you aren't exclusive with your partner, it's too early to ask them to be your plus-one. Both you and your potential date should be on the same page about your feelings and the seriousness of the relationship before attending a wedding together.
• Headspace: Reflect on your current headspace and emotional state. If you're still healing from a previous relationship or dealing with heartbreak, bringing someone new to a wedding may not be the best idea. Give yourself time to process your feelings and ensure you're in the right headspace for a new relationship.
• Social Dynamics: Consider how well you know your date's social behaviour. Weddings can evoke strong emotions and it's important to know how they handle social settings, especially when surrounded by people they don't know. You don't want to risk having them feel uncomfortable or be left babysitting them the entire time.
• Alcohol Consumption: Be mindful of their behaviour around alcohol, especially in an open bar setting. You don't want to risk having your date overindulge and potentially embarrass you or ruin the wedding with their drunken antics.
• Relationship Uncertainty: If you have doubts about your relationship, bringing your partner to a wedding may not be the best idea. Use your doubts as an opportunity to pause and reflect on what's causing the uncertainty. Are there unresolved problems, communication issues, or a lack of compatibility? Address these concerns before introducing them to your friends and family at a wedding.
• Commitment and Exclusivity: Consider if you and your partner are on the same page about the relationship. Are you exclusive? Do you trust each other? Do you communicate effectively? If there are trust issues or a lack of commitment, it may be too soon to bring them as your plus-one.

Remember, it's normal to have doubts and uncertainties in a relationship. Take the time to reflect and communicate openly with your partner. If you're unsure about the relationship, it's better to err on the side of caution and attend the wedding solo or with a friend.

If they're not good in social settings

If you're unsure about how your date handles social settings, it's probably best to go solo to your friend's wedding. Weddings can be emotionally charged events, and you don't want to find out how your date handles these situations on someone else's special day.

Even if you know everyone at the wedding, it can still be an overwhelming and exhausting experience for your date, especially if they don't know anyone else there. You don't want to be worrying about whether they're feeling uncomfortable or having to introduce them to lots of people you know. It's also worth considering that your date might not be comfortable with the idea of weddings in general, and you might not know this until the day itself.

Another important consideration is alcohol. If there's an open bar, you don't want to be responsible for someone who can't hold their liquor or who might overindulge. This could end up embarrassing for you and could even ruin the wedding.

If you're not sure how your date handles social situations, it's better to play it safe and go alone. This way, you can focus on enjoying the day and celebrating your friends without the added pressure of looking after a date.

If they can't handle their alcohol

If your date can't handle their alcohol, it's important to consider the impact this may have on the wedding and the couple getting married. Here are some things to keep in mind and steps you can take to ensure everyone has a pleasant experience:

• Discuss with the Couple: Be transparent with the couple about your date's drinking habits. Ask them if they are comfortable with the situation and if they have any concerns. It's their special day, so their preferences should be respected.
• Plan Ahead: If the couple is okay with your date attending, work together to come up with a plan to ensure your date's drinking doesn't become a problem. This could include arranging for a designated driver, booking a hotel room nearby, or agreeing on a drink limit.
• Assign a Sober Buddy: Ask a trusted friend or family member to keep an eye on your date during the wedding. This person can help ensure your date doesn't overindulge and can step in if things start to get out of hand.
• Provide Alternatives: Offer non-alcoholic drink options for your date. This could be mocktails, fancy soft drinks, or even a fun coffee or tea bar. Having tasty alternatives can help reduce the focus on alcohol.
• Be Prepared to Intervene: If things start to get out of hand, don't hesitate to intervene. This could mean taking away your date's drink, offering them a ride home, or even asking them to leave if their behaviour becomes disruptive. It's important to prioritise the comfort and enjoyment of the couple and other guests.
• Consider Leaving Them Out: If you're concerned that your date's drinking will be a significant issue, consider attending the wedding without them. It may be better for them to sit this one out if their presence could cause disruption or distress.

Remember, the key is to ensure that the wedding remains a positive and enjoyable experience for the couple, their guests, and your date. Open communication, planning, and quick action can help ensure that everyone has a wonderful time.

Frequently asked questions