Old Friends, New Chapter: To Invite Or Not?

When it comes to wedding planning, deciding on the guest list can be tricky. You may wonder if you should invite old friends, especially if you haven't been in touch for a while. It's a personal decision that depends on various factors, such as the nature of your friendship, the cost of the wedding, and the capacity of your venue. Some people choose to invite old friends they haven't seen in years if they were once close, while others prefer to only invite those they are currently close to. Ultimately, it's up to you to decide whether you want to rekindle old friendships or keep the celebration intimate with only your nearest and dearest.

Is it weird to invite old friends to my wedding?

It is not weird to invite old friends to your wedding, but it is important to consider the nature of your relationship with them. If you have not seen or spoken to them in years and are no longer close, you are not obliged to invite them to your wedding. However, if you are still close and meet or talk occasionally, it is wise to invite them.

There are several factors to consider when deciding whether to invite old friends to your wedding:

• When did you last see them? If it has been 12 to 18 months or longer since you last saw them, it is generally acceptable not to invite them.
• Do you know about their daily life? It is important to consider whether you and your old friends are invested in each other's lives.
• Did you attend their wedding? If someone invited you to their wedding, it may be courteous to reciprocate, but it is not always necessary, especially if you have not been in contact since.
• How close are you to your old friends? If you spend birthdays and holidays with them and feel comfortable around them, they are likely close friends who you should consider inviting.

Ultimately, the decision to invite old friends to your wedding depends on the nature of your relationship with them. If you are no longer close, it may be best not to invite them. However, if you are still close and want them to be part of your special day, go for it!

How do I invite old friends I haven't spoken to in years?

When it comes to inviting old friends to your wedding, there are a few things to consider. Firstly, it's important to evaluate the nature of your relationship with these friends. Ask yourself: have I seen them recently? Do we know about each other's day-to-day lives? Are we still close? If the answer to these questions is no, then you may want to reconsider inviting them, as it could be seen as an attempt to rekindle the friendship without any real interest in their presence at your wedding.

However, if you have fond memories of these friends and would like them to share in your special day, there are ways to approach the situation. Here are some suggestions:

• Reach out and re-establish contact: Before sending an invitation, consider reaching out to your old friends to catch up and let them know you're thinking of them. This can be done through text, email, or even a phone call. This way, you can gauge their interest in reconnecting and avoid any potential awkwardness.
• Be transparent about your intentions: When reaching out, be honest about your intentions. Let them know that you've thought about them and would love for them to be a part of your wedding celebrations. This can help to avoid any misunderstandings and show that you value their friendship.
• Consider the scope of your wedding: If you're planning an intimate wedding with only your closest loved ones, it may not be the best time to reconnect with old friends. However, if you have the budget and capacity, inviting them could be a wonderful opportunity to reunite.
• Provide a heartfelt note: When sending the invitation, include a handwritten note expressing your sentiments. Let them know that their presence would mean a lot to you, and it could be a great way to reconnect.
• Be understanding of their response: Keep in mind that they may not be able to attend, and that's okay. Respect their decision, and if they decline, it doesn't have to be the end of your efforts to reconnect. You can always try to meet up at another time or stay in touch through messages.
• "I invited some of my high school friends whom I have seen literally 3 times in the last 10 years. Two out of three made it and I was really happy they did. I may not see them very often now, but they were once very close to me."
• "I've only invited half of my friends from uni, because the other half I didn't REALLY get along with and used to make a lot of life about them... I'm all for keeping it to those you really care about."
• "I don't think I'd invite them. I have a couple of uni friends who I haven't seen for a few years coming to our wedding, but we still talk fairly regularly. All of our other friends that are coming are people we still see often."
• "I invited one friend I’ve had since I was a baby. We don’t talk often anymore, but I would never get married without him present. He’s more like extended family."

Remember, the decision to invite old friends is ultimately up to you and your partner. Consider your relationship with them, the scope of your wedding, and your budget when making your guest list.

What if I attended their wedding?

If you attended their wedding, it may be courteous to reciprocate the invitation. However, this is not always necessary, especially if you have not been in contact since. If you are no longer close, there is no need to invite them to your wedding. On the other hand, if you want to rekindle the friendship, sending an invitation can be a good gesture.

If you are unsure whether to invite an old friend whose wedding you attended, consider the following:

• How long has it been since you last saw them? If it has been a while, perhaps your relationship has changed, and they are no longer part of your nearest and dearest.
• Do you know about their day-to-day life, and do they know about yours? It is essential to only invite people who are invested in your life and relationship and vice versa.
• How close are you to your old friend now? Do you spend birthdays and holidays together? If not, they may not be close enough to you to warrant an invitation.
• Are you comfortable around this person? Your wedding is a personal experience, and you should only invite people you are comfortable with and can truly be yourself around.

Ultimately, the decision to invite old friends to your wedding is a personal one and depends on the nature of your relationship with them. If you feel that your friendship is worth rekindling, then an invitation can be a great way to reconnect. However, if you are no longer close and have drifted apart, it may be best to leave them off your guest list.

How close are we?

When deciding whether or not to invite old friends to your wedding, it is worth considering how close you are to them. If you haven't seen them in a while, it might be a good idea to ask yourself the following questions:

• When did you last see them? If it has been 12-18 months or more, it is probably fine not to invite them.
• Do you know about their day-to-day life? If you are no longer invested in each other's lives, it may be a sign that you are not close anymore.
• Did you attend their wedding? If so, it may be courteous to reciprocate the invitation. However, this is not obligatory, especially if you have not been in contact since.
• Do you spend birthdays and holidays with this person? If so, they are likely close to you, and you should consider inviting them.

If you are unsure about how close you are to your old friends, it may be worth reaching out to them before sending an invitation. This can be a good way to gauge whether or not they are interested in rekindling the friendship. If you are an introvert, the idea of texting them out of the blue might be cringeworthy, but it could be worth it to avoid any potential offence. For example, you could send a text saying, "Hey, Friend! Fiancé and I are engaged! We'd love to send you an invite to the wedding. Can you text me your address? Hope all is well!"

Will I see them again?

When deciding whether to invite old friends to your wedding, it's worth considering whether you will see them again. If you're unsure, ask yourself the following questions:

• When did you last see them? If it's been a few years since you last saw them, it's unlikely that you'll see them again soon. However, if you've been in touch and plan to meet up, sending a wedding invitation could be a great way to reconnect.
• Do you know their day-to-day life? If you're invested in each other's lives and keep in touch regularly, even if it's just through the occasional text or social media interaction, you're more likely to remain in contact and see each other again.
• Did you attend their wedding? If you attended their wedding and they invited you to theirs, it may be courteous to reciprocate. However, if you haven't been in contact since, it's not necessary to invite them, especially if your relationship has changed or drifted apart.
• How close are you? If you're still close and consider them a dear friend, it may be impolite not to invite them. On the other hand, if your relationship is distant and you don't feel comfortable around them, it's not essential to include them on your wedding guest list.

Ultimately, the decision to invite old friends is a personal one, and there is no one-size-fits-all answer. Consider your relationship, the nature of your interactions, and whether you see yourself reconnecting with them in the future. If you don't see yourself hanging out with them again or feel your friendship has run its course, it might be best to focus your guest list on those closest to you.

Frequently asked questions