Junior Rasmussen
Wedding invitations are often steeped in tradition and etiquette. While some people prefer to stick to tradition, others opt for a more modern approach. When it comes to the question of including last names on wedding invitations, there are a few factors to consider. Firstly, it is essential to ensure that the guests can easily identify the couple getting married, especially if the parents' names are not included in the invitation. Secondly, the formality of the event and the size of the guest list come into play. While formal weddings and larger guest lists typically call for the inclusion of last names, modern and less formal weddings with smaller, intimate guest lists can often do without. Ultimately, the decision rests with the couple, and there is room for flexibility in how names are presented.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Should you include your last name? | If your parents' names are listed on the invitation, you may choose to only include your first and middle names. If not, it is recommended to include your last name to avoid confusion for guests. |
| How to list your last name | You can include your maiden name, married name, or both. |
| How to address a married couple with the same last name | "Mr. and Mrs. [husband's first name] [shared last name]". For same-sex couples, either name can go first. |
| How to address a married couple with different last names | "Ms. [wife's first name] [wife's last name] and Mr. [husband's first name] [husband's last name]". If the names are too long, list them separately. |
| How to address a married couple with one hyphenated last name | "Mr. [spouse 1's first name] [spouse 1's last name] and Mr. [spouse 2's first name] [spouse 1's last name]-[spouse 2's last name]". |
| How to address an unmarried couple | List both people's names on one line: "Mr. [person 1's first name] [person 1's last name] and Ms. [person 2's first name] [person 2's last name]". |
What You'll Learn
Including your last name to avoid confusion
Including your last name on your wedding invitation is a great way to avoid confusion for your guests. While modern invitations tend to feature only the first names of the couple, this can sometimes lead to ambiguity about who is getting married, especially if your guests do not know your partner's family.
For example, if you have a common first name, your guests may know multiple people with the same name and be unsure whose wedding it is. Similarly, if your guests are not familiar with your partner's family, they may not be able to identify your partner from their first name alone.
Including your last name can also be helpful for guests who wish to give personalised gifts. This way, your guests will not have to wonder whether they should have included your last name after the fact.
If you are worried about your invitation appearing overly formal, you can always opt to include just your first and last name, omitting your middle name. This way, you can strike a balance between formality and informality while still providing your guests with the necessary information.
Ultimately, the decision is up to you, and you should choose the option that best suits your preferences and situation. However, including your last name can be a helpful way to ensure that your guests have all the information they need to celebrate your special day.
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Using both your maiden name and married name
There are a few options for how to address wedding invitations, and the best choice depends on your personal preference and the level of formality of your wedding. Here is some information on using both your maiden name and married name on your wedding invitations:
Formal Wedding
If you are hosting a formal wedding, you may want to use more formal titles and formats for addressing your invitations. Here are some options for including both your maiden name and married name:
- Outer envelope: "Ms. Jane Marie Smith and Mr. John Jones"
- Inner envelope: "Ms. Smith and Mr. Jones" or "Jane and John"
Informal Wedding
If you are hosting an informal wedding, you may choose to use a more casual format for addressing your invitations. In this case, you can simply use first names, or first and last names, without titles. Here is an example:
- Outer envelope: "Jane Marie Smith and John Jones"
- Inner envelope: "Jane and John"
Other Considerations
When including both your maiden name and married name on your wedding invitations, consider the following:
- The name your guests will recognize: Use the name that your guests are most likely to recognize to avoid confusion.
- Level of formality: Consider the level of formality you want to convey. Using full names and titles is more formal, while using just first names is more casual.
- Inner and outer envelopes: Traditionally, the inner and outer envelopes follow different etiquette rules. The outer envelope is more formal, while the inner envelope is more informal.
- Order of names: You can list the names in alphabetical order or choose the order based on what sounds the best.
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Addressing a married couple
When addressing a married couple on a wedding invitation, there are a few different approaches you can take. Here are some options to consider:
Traditional Approach:
If you want to follow tradition, the outer envelope can be addressed to "Mr. and Mrs." followed by the husband's first and last name. For example: "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren". The inner envelope can then be more informal, such as "Mr. and Mrs. Warren" or "Thomas and Michelle".
Modern Variations:
These days, there is more flexibility in how you address a married couple. If you want to be more modern or sensitive to gender equality, you can address the couple by their individual names, either on the same line or separate lines. For example: "Mr. Thomas Warren and Mrs. Michelle Warren" or "Ms. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez".
If the couple has the same last name, you can simply use their first names on the inner envelope, such as "Thomas and Michelle".
Same-Sex Couples:
For same-sex couples, you can choose to put either name first or go with alphabetical order. For example: "Mr. Marcus Craft and Mr. Brian Crosby-Craft" or "Ms. Celine Elgin and Ms. Jacqueline Purcell". The inner envelope can then be shortened to their first names: "Marcus and Brian" or "Celine and Jacqueline".
Hyphenated Last Names:
If one spouse has a hyphenated last name, you can address them by their individual names, with the person you are closest to listed first. For example: "Mr. Marcus Craft and Mr. Brian Crosby-Craft" on the outer envelope and "Mr. Craft and Mr. Crosby-Craft" or "Marcus and Brian" on the inner envelope.
Unmarried Couples:
For unmarried couples living at the same address, a similar approach can be taken. Address both people on one line on the outer envelope and use first names on the inner envelope. For example: "Mr. Stanley Kim and Ms. Amanda Rhee" on the outer envelope and "Stanley and Amanda" on the inner envelope.
Formality and Flexibility:
Ultimately, the level of formality and flexibility is up to you. You can choose to include middle names or stick to first and last names only. The most important consideration is that your guests can easily identify who is getting married, especially if you have a large guest list or guests who may not know the couple well.
Remember, these are just guidelines, and you can adapt them to fit your specific situation and preferences.
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Addressing an unmarried couple
When addressing an unmarried couple on a wedding invitation, it's important to include both people's names. Here are some guidelines to ensure your invitations are properly and respectfully worded:
Names and Titles
Each name should be listed on its own line, with the person you are closest to, or alphabetically, if that is easier, going first. It is also important to use the correct titles for each person. For adults, it is respectful to use a title such as Mr., Ms., Mrs., or Miss. For example, if the couple has different last names:
> Mr. Stanley Kim
> Ms. Amanda Rhee
If you are unsure about a woman's title, it is best to ask her or her partner. It is also worth noting that some people may prefer gender-neutral titles such as Mx.
Inner and Outer Envelopes
The outer envelope should be more formal, with full names and titles. The inner envelope is more informal, giving you the option to leave out one or more elements of the formal name format. For example, you could use only first names on the inner envelope:
> Outer envelope: Mr. Stanley Kim
> Ms. Amanda Rhee
>
> Inner envelope: Stanley and Amanda
Casual Weddings
If your wedding is informal, you may choose to use only first and last names, or even just first names, on your invitations. However, if you have older or more conservative guests, it is best to use more formal wording to avoid causing offence.
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Addressing single people
When addressing single people on wedding invitations, it's important to use their preferred title and full name. If you're unsure of their preferred title, it's better to leave it out altogether. Here are some examples to illustrate this:
Example One: Without a Plus-One
On the outer envelope: Ms. Ali Johnson
On the inner envelope: Ms. Johnson
Example Two: With a Plus-One
On the outer envelope: Mx. Sam Li
On the inner envelope: Sam Li and Guest
If the single person you're inviting has a plus-one, it's considered good etiquette to mention both people by name if you have that information. If you don't know the name of their plus-one or are allowing them to bring a casual date, "and Guest" on the inner envelope will suffice.
It's also important to be clear about who is invited. If you're inviting a couple but not their children, address the envelope to "Mr. and Mrs. John Smith," rather than "The Smith Family." This implies that only the parents are invited. If you want to invite the whole family, you can address it to "The Smith Family" or list each family member's name.
When it comes to the return address on the envelopes, it's considered a "no-no" to announce that the bride and groom are living at the same residence before the wedding. In this case, use the bride's name and address. However, personal preference plays a role in this decision, so decide what combination of name and address you're most comfortable with.
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Frequently asked questions
It's up to you. You could use your current legal name, or your maiden name if that's what people know you by. You could also include both.
No, you can just use your first and middle names.
You can still include your middle name. Just leave out your fiancé's middle name to keep the look cohesive.
You can leave out last names altogether if your guest list is small and everyone knows who is getting married.
