Out-Of-State Bridesmaids: Worth The Hassle Or Not?

Asking out-of-state friends to be bridesmaids can be tricky, but it's not impossible. While it's not necessary to have bridesmaids help with wedding planning, it's still important to consider their availability and financial situation. It's also worth noting that bridesmaids are typically expected to cover certain costs, such as their attire, hair, and makeup. If you have your heart set on including out-of-state friends in your bridal party, clear and honest communication is key. Discuss their level of involvement, expectations, and any potential challenges upfront. This will help ensure everyone is on the same page and able to work together to create a memorable day.

Choosing bridesmaid dresses

Having out-of-state bridesmaids can be challenging when it comes to choosing dresses, but it is certainly doable. Here are some tips to help you navigate the process:

Communication is Key:

Start by having open and honest conversations with your out-of-state bridesmaids about their budget, preferences, and expectations. Discuss what styles, colours, and fabrics they would feel comfortable in and try to reach a consensus. It is important to be mindful of their financial situation and choose dresses that are affordable for everyone.

Virtual Options:

Thanks to technology, there are now virtual showrooms and online dressing rooms offered by some companies, such as Bella Bridesmaids and Shinyorb, where you and your bridesmaids can browse and select dresses together, even if you are miles apart. This can be a fun and interactive way to involve everyone in the process.

Choose a Chain Store:

Opting for a chain store like David's Bridal or Alfred Angelo can make the process more convenient. These stores have locations across different states, so your bridesmaids can visit their local branch for measurements and fittings, and then place their orders. This eliminates the need for travel, making it easier for everyone involved.

Local Bridal Shops:

If you prefer a local bridal shop, your out-of-state bridesmaids can still utilise their services. They can visit a local shop near them, get measured, and then call or email your chosen shop to place their order. Ensure that you provide the shop with each bridesmaid's measurements and other necessary details.

Order Together:

Regardless of where you order from, it is crucial to place all the dress orders at the same time and from the same store. This ensures that the dresses are from the same dye lot and will have consistent colouring.

Allow for Alterations:

Keep in mind that alterations are often needed for bridesmaid dresses. Discuss this with your bridesmaids and decide how you want to handle the additional costs. It may be a good idea to choose a style that can be easily altered to accommodate different body types.

Mismatched Dresses:

Consider embracing the trend of mismatched bridesmaid dresses. This can take the pressure off finding one perfect dress and allows each bridesmaid to choose a style that suits them. You can provide guidelines for colour, fabric, and length to ensure a cohesive look while still offering flexibility.

Timing:

Remember to start the dress selection process early. It usually takes around two to three months for bridesmaid dresses to arrive, and you'll need additional time for fittings and alterations. Aim to place the orders at least six months before your wedding to avoid any last-minute stress.

Be Considerate:

Lastly, remember that being a bridesmaid can be financially straining, especially for those travelling from out of state. If you have the means, consider offering to pay for the dresses or contribute towards their costs. Your bridesmaids will surely appreciate your generosity.

By following these tips, you can ensure that choosing bridesmaid dresses for your out-of-state bridal party is a smooth and enjoyable process, allowing you to focus on the more important aspects of your special day.

Planning pre-wedding events

Engagement Party:

The engagement party is usually one of the first pre-wedding events held to celebrate the couple's engagement. It is often hosted by one or both families or other relatives and friends. This event can be held at a variety of locations, such as a host's home, a restaurant, a bar, or even a unique venue like a historic home or park. The engagement party usually takes place about three months after the engagement, and invitations should be sent at least a month in advance.

Bridal Shower:

The bridal shower is a celebration in honor of the bride-to-be, traditionally hosted by the maid of honor and bridesmaids. However, it may also be hosted by parents or other friends or relatives. The bridal shower usually takes place a few weeks to three months before the wedding and typically includes games, gifts, and food. It is a chance for the bride to enjoy a celebration with her closest friends and family before the busyness of wedding planning takes over.

Bachelorette and Bachelor Parties:

The bachelorette and bachelor parties are held separately for the bride and groom-to-be, usually about a month or two before the wedding. These events are traditionally planned by the maid of honor and the best man, respectively. They can range from wild nights out to more low-key gatherings, depending on the couple's preferences. The guest list typically includes the wedding party and close friends or relatives.

Bridesmaid Luncheon:

The bridesmaid luncheon is an intimate gathering for the bridal party, usually held the day before the wedding or earlier if all bridesmaids live nearby. The bride traditionally hosts this event to thank her bridesmaids and present them with gifts. It is a relaxing opportunity to enjoy a meal and spend time together before the wedding day.

Rehearsal Dinner:

The rehearsal dinner is held immediately after the wedding rehearsal, usually the night before the wedding. It is a more laid-back event where speeches may be given in the couple's honor. The guest list can vary depending on the couple's preferences and budget, ranging from immediate family and the wedding party to a larger group of close family and friends, or even the entire guest list.

When planning your pre-wedding events, consider hiring the same catering company for all the festivities to ensure a seamless experience. Additionally, try to space out the events to avoid overwhelming the couple and their guests.

Communication and introductions

Communication is key when it comes to out-of-state bridesmaids. It is important to keep an open line of communication with your bridesmaids, especially those who are located out of state. This will ensure that everyone is on the same page and has the information they need. Here are some tips for effective communication and introductions with out-of-state bridesmaids:

• Choose a convenient communication method: Determine a communication method that works for everyone. This could be through phone calls, text messages, email, or video calls. Find a method that allows you to connect and share information easily.
• Introduce everyone to each other: If your bridesmaids are located in different states and have not met each other before, it is a good idea to facilitate introductions. You can do this through group chats, email threads, or even a video call where everyone can meet and greet virtually. This will help build camaraderie among your bridesmaids and make them feel included.
• Set clear expectations: Be clear about your expectations for their participation in the wedding. Discuss their availability, financial commitments, and any travel requirements. Let them know if you expect them to attend pre-wedding events such as the bridal shower, bachelorette party, or dress fittings. It is important to be understanding of their limitations and work together to find solutions.
• Keep them involved: Include your out-of-state bridesmaids in the decision-making process and wedding planning. Share your ideas, inspiration, and progress updates with them. Ask for their opinions and input to make them feel valued. This will also help create a cohesive bridal party dynamic.
• Provide timely information: Share important details about the wedding, such as dates, locations, and any travel arrangements, as early as possible. This will give your out-of-state bridesmaids ample time to plan their schedules and make any necessary travel plans.
• Encourage open communication: Create an environment where your bridesmaids feel comfortable expressing their thoughts, concerns, or limitations. Be understanding of their situations and be flexible when needed. Remember that their participation and support are a choice, and it is important to respect their commitments and boundaries.
• Utilize online tools: Take advantage of online tools and platforms to facilitate communication and planning. Create shared documents, spreadsheets, or Pinterest boards to gather ideas and share information in one place. This will make it easier for everyone to stay organized and involved, regardless of their location.
• Consider time zones: Be mindful of time zone differences when scheduling calls or events. Find a time that works for everyone, especially if you are spread across multiple time zones. This will ensure that everyone can participate and feel included in the discussions.
• Share contact information: Create a contact list with everyone's phone numbers, email addresses, and any other relevant information. Distribute this among your bridesmaids so that they can easily reach out to each other if needed. This will foster a sense of connection and encourage direct communication among the group.
• Check-in regularly: Stay in touch with your out-of-state bridesmaids on a regular basis. Send periodic updates and check in to see how they are doing. This will help you maintain a close connection and ensure that everyone feels involved, even if they are not physically present for all the wedding-related events.

By following these tips, you can ensure effective communication and introductions with your out-of-state bridesmaids. Remember that clear and consistent communication is key to a harmonious and well-coordinated bridal party.

Travel and accommodation

When it comes to travel and accommodation for out-of-state bridesmaids, there are a few things to consider. Firstly, it's important to have realistic expectations and understand that your bridesmaids may not be able to attend all pre-wedding events or come to your location multiple times. You can always invite them to these events, but it's best to keep your expectations low.

If you want your out-of-state bridesmaids to be involved in dress fittings, you can suggest they get measured at a local bridal shop and send their measurements to your chosen shop. Alternatively, you can select a bridal shop with locations near them, such as David's Bridal or Alfred Angelo, so they can be measured and order their dresses without travelling far.

When it comes to travel for the wedding itself, it's a good idea to give your out-of-state bridesmaids ample notice so they can plan and budget for the trip. You may also want to suggest nearby accommodation options or help them find accommodations that fit their budget.

Remember, the most important thing is having your nearest and dearest by your side on your big day, and they can always participate and offer support virtually if needed.

Costs and expectations

The role of bridesmaids comes with costs and expectations for both the bride and the bridal party. While bridesmaids typically pay for their dresses, the bride covers other costs, including bridesmaid gifts, hair and makeup, and bouquets. These costs can quickly add up, especially if your bridesmaids are travelling from out of state.

If you have out-of-state bridesmaids, it's important to be mindful of their time and financial commitments. It's not necessary or advisable to expect them to fly out multiple times before the wedding. Their main responsibilities are to show up in the correct attire, walk down the aisle, and be present for photos. Anything beyond that is a bonus.

If you want your out-of-state bridesmaids to attend pre-wedding events like dress fittings, bridal showers, or bachelorette parties, it's best to communicate your expectations clearly and give them plenty of advance notice. Keep in mind that their ability to participate will depend on their schedules and budgets.

To make things easier for your out-of-state bridesmaids, you can choose a bridesmaid dress from a chain store like David's Bridal or Alfred Angelo, which has locations across the country. This way, they can get measured and order their dress at a store near them. Alternatively, you can let them choose their own dresses within a specified colour scheme, eliminating the need for them to order from a particular place.

Remember, the role of a bridesmaid is to support the bride, and their presence on your special day is what matters most. While their help with planning and pre-wedding events is a bonus, it's not their primary responsibility.

Frequently asked questions