Involving Children In Your Wedding: Yay Or Nay?

Whether or not to invite children to a wedding is a contentious issue that divides opinion. Some people believe that children add a certain magic to the atmosphere, while others feel that they can be a distraction and a source of chaos. The decision to include children or not ultimately comes down to the couple's preferences, budget, venue capacity, and family expectations.

If the couple chooses to have a child-free wedding, it is essential to communicate this clearly and directly to the guests. This can be done by addressing the invitations to the adult guests only and including a line on the invitation indicating that it is an adults-only event. It is also a good idea to call guests with children to explain the situation and allow them to make necessary childcare arrangements.

On the other hand, if the couple decides to invite children, there are several ways to include them in the wedding festivities. Children can take on roles such as flower girls, ring bearers, ushers, or guest book managers. It is also important to consider the children's needs, such as providing a separate kids' menu, entertainment, and a designated area or room for them to enjoy themselves.

The decision to invite children to a wedding is a personal one, and the couple should do what feels right for them while also considering the potential impact on their guests.

Communicating your decision

• Be Clear and Direct: It is essential to be clear and direct when communicating your decision. Address your wedding invitations properly, indicating whether children are invited or not. If you have a wedding website, consider creating a separate page to explain your decision and provide additional information for guests with children.
• Provide Detailed Information: In your communication, include specific details about your decision. For example, if you are inviting only certain children, list their names or specify the criteria for invitation (e.g., children of immediate family only). This helps to avoid any confusion or misunderstanding.
• Use Appropriate Wording: Choose your words carefully to convey your message respectfully and politely. Avoid vague wording that may lead to misinterpretation. For instance, instead of saying "and family," use the names of invited family members. You can also include phrases such as "Adults-Only Reception" or "Our wedding is adult-only, thank you."
• Consider a Phone Call: In addition to written communication, consider reaching out to your guests with children via phone calls. This personal approach can help explain your decision, address any concerns, and provide reassurance. It also allows you to suggest childcare options or offer assistance in finding suitable arrangements.
• Be Consistent: Once you have communicated your decision, maintain consistency. Avoid making exceptions or changing the rules, as this may create confusion and resentment among guests. It is important to stick to your decision to ensure a smooth planning process and a harmonious event.
• Handle Pushback Gracefully: Understand that not all guests will react positively to your decision. Some may express disappointment or even try to negotiate. It is important to remain calm and respectful in your response. Explain your reasons politely and stand firm on your decision. Remember, it is your wedding, and you have the final say.

By following these guidelines, you can effectively communicate your decision regarding children's attendance at your wedding. Clear and direct communication, coupled with thoughtful consideration for your guests, will help ensure that everyone understands your wishes and can plan accordingly.

Inviting some children, not others

Deciding whether to invite children to your wedding is a tricky issue, and one that's likely to divide opinion. If you want to invite some children but not others, it's important to be clear about your rules and stick to them.

Be Consistent

It's best to draw the line at either the children of immediate family and/or the wedding party. If you invite the children of one set of cousins, for example, you'll need to invite all the cousins' children to avoid causing offence. You could also consider an age cut-off, but be aware that this could still cause upset if, for example, one child in a family is invited and another isn't.

Be Clear

When addressing your invitations, be explicit about who is and isn't invited. The traditional way to indicate that a child is invited is to include their name on the invitation. If your card has both an outer and inner envelope, the child's parents' names should go on the outer, with the child's name beneath on the inner. If a child is over 18, they should receive a separate invitation, even if they still live at home. If you're only inviting adults, it's important to make this very clear, as some guests may assume that their children are invited if you don't.

Be Prepared for Backlash

You will probably offend some people by only inviting certain children, so be prepared for this. If you're worried about causing upset, it's worth considering whether you want to invite children at all. If you do decide to invite some children and not others, be consistent and clear, and try to give people as much notice as possible so they can make alternative arrangements if necessary.

Childcare services

If you're inviting children to your wedding, it's a good idea to provide childcare services to ensure that your wedding day is as stress-free as possible. Here are some tips for organising childcare services for your wedding:

Make a Decision Early On

It's important to decide early on whether you want to have children at your wedding or not. This will give your guests with children enough time to make alternative arrangements if needed. It's also a good time to start researching and booking childcare services, as they may be in high demand.

Communicate Your Expectations

Be clear with your guests about your expectations regarding their children. Let them know if you will be providing childcare services and what type of activities or care will be available. This will help your guests feel confident that their children will be well taken care of during the wedding.

Hire Professional Childcare Services

Consider hiring professional childcare providers, such as wedding nannies or a creche service. These professionals are experienced in caring for children during weddings and can provide a safe and engaging environment for the kids. They can also give parents peace of mind, allowing them to relax and enjoy your special day.

Create a Dedicated Kids' Space

If possible, set up a separate room or area for the children to play and relax. This space can be supervised by the childcare providers and stocked with age-appropriate toys, books, and games. You can also include a Kids' Club with themed activities, such as painting shells and reading stories for a beach wedding.

Provide Entertainment and Activities

To keep the children entertained, consider hiring children's entertainers, such as magicians, face painters, or puppeteers. You can also organise activities such as outdoor games, craft corners, or a kids' room with Disney films and board games. These options will ensure that the children have a fun and enjoyable experience during your wedding.

Offer a Special Menu for Children

Work with your catering team to create a simple and kid-friendly menu. Offer childrens' meals or a small buffet with finger foods and healthy snacks. This will not only make the children happier but can also be less expensive and help to accommodate any dietary restrictions or allergies.

Remember, the decision to invite children to your wedding is a personal one, and you should do what feels right for you and your partner. By providing childcare services and considering the needs of your youngest guests, you can ensure that everyone has a memorable and enjoyable experience on your special day.

Child-friendly venues

Planning a wedding can be a daunting task, especially when it comes to deciding whether or not to invite children. If you've opted for a child-friendly celebration, creating a safe and fun environment for your youngest guests should be a top priority. Here are some tips for choosing a venue that caters to children:

Location and Space:

Start by assessing the location and space available at your venue. Consider the number of children expected and their ages, and determine if you can create a dedicated space for them away from the main ceremony and reception areas. A separate room, such as a green room, can be ideal for keeping children entertained and supervised while allowing adults to enjoy the festivities without distraction. If your venue doesn't have a separate room, consider setting up a kids' table or area within the main space.

Active or Creative Spaces:

Depending on the season, time of day, and the ages of the children attending, decide if you need to provide an active or creative space. For a lunchtime reception, consider outdoor lawn games, a bouncy castle, or age-appropriate dancing. For an early evening reception, opt for a quieter, more calming environment with creative activities like a Lego station, craft table, or group painting. If your celebration includes children of various ages, try to provide a mix of active and creative options to cater to different interests and energy levels.

Child-friendly Food Options:

Discuss child-friendly food options with your catering team. While adults might enjoy a fancy, multi-course meal, children may prefer simpler, kid-friendly fare. Offer finger foods, fruit platters, and other healthy, mess-free options that are likely to appeal to young taste buds. Don't forget to include some tasty treats, like cupcakes or temporary tattoos, to satisfy their sweet tooth!

Entertainment and Activities:

To keep children entertained throughout the event, consider hiring a children's entertainer or setting up activity packs/booklets, colouring books, puzzles, and other age-appropriate games and toys. If your budget allows, you could even have a dedicated babysitter or nanny service to supervise and engage the children. This can be especially helpful for weddings with a large number of young guests.

Safety Considerations:

When choosing a venue, always keep safety in mind, especially when it comes to young children. Avoid venues with potential hazards, such as open bodies of water, fire pits, or open flames. Ensure that food displays are secure and that there are no easily accessible dangerous objects. If possible, set up the children's area away from entry/exit points to prevent little ones from wandering off unsupervised.

Remember, the key to a successful child-friendly wedding is creating a balance between adult and child-friendly spaces. By providing a safe, engaging environment for your youngest guests, you can ensure that both children and their parents have a memorable and enjoyable experience.

Child-free weddings

To invite or not to invite children? That is the question.

It's your wedding, and you can decide whether or not to have children there. There are pros and cons to both, and it's an issue that tends to divide opinion. Some people believe that kids add a certain magic to the atmosphere, while others feel they can be a distraction from the celebrations.

The Upsides of a Child-Free Wedding

There are several advantages to having an adults-only wedding:

• Budget: Children's meals may be cheaper, but they still add to the overall cost of your wedding. You may prefer to spend that money on your adult guests instead.
• Order: Children can be unpredictable. If you're a stickler for order, you may prefer a more mature affair.
• Guest Enjoyment: Weddings are a time for celebration, and adult guests may not be able to fully let their hair down if they have to look after children.
• Venue Capacity: Your venue may have limited space, and you may want to invite more adult guests instead of children.
• Destination Weddings: If your wedding is abroad, guests may not want to bring their children, and you may not want little ones disrupting the child-free weekend.

Communicating Your Decision

If you decide to have a child-free wedding, it's important to communicate this clearly and directly to your guests. Address your wedding invitations to adults only, and consider including a line such as:

• "Please be aware that this will be an adults-only wedding."
• "Our special day will be adults-only; thank you for understanding."
• "Due to space constraints, we are only able to accommodate children of the wedding party."

You may also want to give guests with children a call to explain your decision and to give them time to make childcare arrangements.

Potential Consequences

Be prepared that some guests, especially those with young children, may not be able to attend due to your adults-only policy. You must accept their decision and not make them feel guilty. If there are certain people you desperately want to be there, you may need to review your stance on children.

A Final Note

Remember, it's your wedding, and you can choose whether or not to include children. Be mindful of your guests' needs, communicate your decision clearly, and don't be afraid to set boundaries. Good luck with your wedding planning!

Frequently asked questions