Who Should You Bring To A Wedding?

Planning a wedding can be stressful, especially when it comes to navigating the guest list and deciding whether to offer plus-ones. While there are no set rules, wedding plus-one etiquette can help ensure the day goes smoothly for both the couple and their guests.

A plus-one generally refers to a guest's partner or spouse, allowing them to attend the wedding as a package deal. It can also include family members escorting older guests or close friends attending with single guests. Offering plus-ones can be a kind gesture, ensuring no one feels alone, but it can also be a financial burden, as each additional guest increases costs.

So, who should get a plus-one? Traditionally, married, engaged, and cohabitating guests receive a plus-one, even if the couple hasn't met their partner. Members of the wedding party and immediate family should also be offered a plus-one as a token of appreciation for their support. Out-of-town guests or those who won't know many attendees are often given plus-one privileges to ensure they feel comfortable.

On the other hand, single guests who know everyone at the wedding and those who are casually dating don't necessarily need a plus-one. Ultimately, the decision comes down to the couple's budget, venue size, and their vision for the day. It's important to be consistent and establish clear criteria to avoid offending anyone.

Married, engaged, and cohabiting guests

When it comes to wedding guest lists, there are no hard and fast rules, but there are some widely accepted guidelines that can help you navigate this complex issue.

It is generally considered good etiquette to extend a plus-one invitation to guests who are married, engaged, or cohabiting with a partner. This is often referred to as the "package deal" and is a way to acknowledge their commitment to each other. Even if you are closer to or more familiar with one half of the couple, it is polite to invite both parties. This rule also applies if you have never met your guest's spouse or partner; it is worth making the effort to find out their name so that you can include it on the invitation.

Long-Term Relationships

In addition to married, engaged, and cohabiting couples, it is also customary to offer plus-ones to guests in serious, long-term relationships. This can be a tricky area to navigate, as it can be difficult to determine the seriousness of a relationship. A good rule of thumb is to consider whether the couple lives together or has been together for a substantial amount of time (generally considered to be over a year). If you are unsure, you can always ask your guest before sending out the invitation.

Out-of-Town Guests

It is also common to offer plus-ones to out-of-town guests who may not know many other attendees. This is a considerate gesture that can help them feel more comfortable and less lonely at the wedding.

Wedding Party Members

It is generally expected that members of the wedding party, such as the maid of honour, best man, groomsmen, bridesmaids, and ushers, will be offered a plus-one, even if they are single. This is a way to show appreciation for their time, effort, and support during the wedding planning process and on the day itself.

Creating a Guest List

To make the process easier, you can create an "A" list of guests who should absolutely receive a plus-one and a "B" list of guests who you would like to offer a plus-one if possible. This will help you manage your budget and venue capacity while ensuring that those closest to you are given priority.

Invitations and RSVPs

When sending invitations, it is important to clearly indicate whether a plus-one is offered. Traditionally, this is done by including the guest's name and "and guest" on the envelope. If you know the name of the plus-one, it is more formal to include their name instead of "guest". On the RSVP card, be sure to include a space for the guest to write the name of their plus-one, so you have this information for seating charts and place cards.

In conclusion, while there is no one-size-fits-all approach to plus-one etiquette, considering the guidelines above will help you navigate this complex issue with grace and ease.

Wedding party members

Your wedding party has likely dedicated a lot of time, energy, and money to your wedding. They've been there from the start, helping with everything from dress shopping to planning your bachelorette party. They've spent money on attire, lodging, and transportation, and they've given you their love and support throughout the entire wedding prep process. So, it's only natural that you'd want to extend them the courtesy of a plus-one.

While there are no set rules, standard wedding etiquette dictates that wedding party members should receive a plus-one. It's a courteous move that your wedding party members will appreciate, and it's a way to thank them for all they've done. However, it's important to note that this may depend on your budget and venue capacity.

If you're working with a tight budget, you may not be able to offer a plus-one to every wedding party member. In that case, it's a nice gesture to at least offer the option and understand that they may decline. It's also important to be consistent; if you offer a plus-one to one wedding party member, you should offer it to all of them.

When it comes to the rehearsal dinner, opinions vary. Some etiquette experts suggest that if a bridal party member is invited to the wedding with a date, they should also be able to bring that date to the rehearsal dinner. Others argue that the plus-one option only needs to be extended for the actual wedding day.

When addressing invitations, use the primary guest's name and "invited guest" or "and guest" if you're offering a plus-one. This gives your wedding party member the flexibility to bring whoever they choose.

Outlier guests who won't know many other attendees

If you know that one of your guests won't know anyone else at the wedding, it's polite to offer them a plus-one. This can give them a confidence boost and ensure they don't feel awkward or lonely. This is the case even if they're not in a long-term relationship—they could bring a date or a close friend.

If you're inviting out-of-town guests who won't know many other people at the wedding, it's common to give them plus-one privileges so they don't feel out of place.

If you're inviting a few single people who won't know many other guests, it's a nice gesture to offer them a plus-one so they can have a date by their side.

If your best friend is travelling across the country to attend your wedding and doesn't know anyone outside of you and your partner, it's a thoughtful gesture to allow them to bring someone.

Guests who are in a serious relationship

When it comes to wedding guest lists, it can be tricky to know what’s considered appropriate when it comes to plus-ones. Here is some advice for deciding whether to extend a plus-one to guests in a serious relationship.

Guests in a Serious Relationship

If any of your guests are in a serious or long-term relationship, they should be allowed to bring their partner. If they are living together, this is a good indicator that their relationship is serious. Alternatively, if they have been together for a long time—over a year, for example—this could also warrant a plus-one. If you are unsure, you can always ask them before sending out the invitation whether they would like to bring their partner.

Out-of-Town Guests

Out-of-town guests who may not know many other attendees are commonly given plus-one privileges so they don’t feel out of place or lonely. If you’ve ever been to a wedding alone, completely surrounded by strangers, you know how awkward it can feel.

Wedding Party Members

All of your wedding party members should be allowed to bring a guest, even if they’re currently single. Chances are they’ve helped you out a lot with your wedding, and therefore they deserve a little special treatment! Wedding party members include the maid of honour, best man, groomsmen, bridesmaids, and ushers.

Married and Engaged Guests

If any of your guests are married, or engaged to be married, they should get a plus one. It’s just polite, even if you don’t know one person as well as you know the other. Married and engaged couples should always be considered a package deal. Imagine how you’d feel if you weren’t allowed to bring your other half to such an important event as a wedding.

Budgeting for additional guests

Budgeting for a wedding can be a stressful task, especially when it comes to accounting for additional guests. Here are some tips for budgeting for plus-ones and other extra guests:

Understand the Impact of Guest Count

The number of guests you invite has a massive impact on the overall cost of your wedding. A good rule of thumb is to expect to spend $100 per guest for food and liquor, the two biggest expenses of a wedding. So, for every guest you add, your total budget will need to increase by at least $100.

Prioritize Your Guest List

Not all guests need to receive a plus-one. To stay within your budget, consider only offering plus-ones to members of the wedding party, immediate family, and outlier guests who won't know many other attendees. For other guests, evaluate their relationship status and whether they will have friends or family at the wedding to determine if a plus-one is necessary.

Create an "A" and "B" List

If you're struggling to keep your guest list within budget, create an ""A" list of must-invite guests and a "B" list of guests you would like to include if possible. After accounting for your "A" list, see how many plus-ones you can offer to the "B" list guests.

Be Mindful of Budget Categories Affected by Guest Count

Most areas of a wedding budget are affected by the number of guests. Food costs, bar expenses, venue setup fees, and rentals will all increase with more guests. Be sure to accurately track plus-ones to stay within budget and avoid unexpected costs.

Plan for Unexpected Plus-Ones

It's a good idea to build some flexibility into your budget to account for unexpected plus-ones. For example, a guest might start dating someone new and request to bring them, or a family member might need assistance and require a plus-one for support.

Communicate Your Budget to Guests

If a guest who hasn't been offered a plus-one reaches out to request one, be prepared to respond with a kind but firm explanation. Let them know that you would love to include everyone but are limited by your budget. It's best to have this conversation over the phone or in person rather than via email.

Be Strategic with Seating Arrangements

When creating your seating chart, be mindful of singles who are not offered a plus-one. Seat them between outgoing and friendly couples they will likely get along with to create a communal feel and help them meet people organically.

Frequently asked questions