Deborah Chan
Wearing white to a wedding is a tricky topic. The tradition of wearing white at weddings began with Queen Victoria in 1840, and white wedding dresses quickly became a status symbol, evolving to symbolize purity and innocence. Today, wearing white to a wedding as a guest is generally considered inappropriate, as it could be seen as upstaging the bride. However, some people believe that it is acceptable to wear white to a wedding if it is a beach wedding or if the couple has specifically requested that guests wear white. If you are unsure whether your dress is too white, it is probably best to choose something else to avoid any potential embarrassment or discomfort.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Colour | Not pure white, with a touch of blue |
| Style | Mermaid with a strapless neckline |
| Silhouette | Similar to wedding dresses |
| Length | Not mentioned |
| Fabric | Not lace or tulle |
| Appropriate for a wedding guest | Yes |
| Appropriate for a bride | No |
| May be considered inappropriate because... | It has a lot of white; it has a similar silhouette to a wedding dress |
| May be considered appropriate because... | It's not white enough to be bridal; the bride is wearing a different style/colour; the wedding is on a beach; the couple has requested guests wear white |
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What You'll Learn
It's not white, but is it too bridal?
The tradition of wearing white wedding dresses began when Queen Victoria wore a white dress to her wedding in 1840. Since then, white wedding dresses have become a status symbol and a tradition, symbolising purity, innocence, virginity, youth, and new beginnings.
Today, wearing white to a wedding as a guest is generally frowned upon. However, there are some exceptions to this rule. For example, if the couple has specifically requested that guests wear white, or if the wedding is a destination wedding with a relaxed dress code, wearing white may be acceptable. In addition, some brides may not mind if guests wear white as long as they are not trying to upstage the bride.
If you are unsure whether your dress is too bridal, it is a good idea to consider the colour ratio of the dress. A general rule of thumb is that the dress should be approximately 75% colour and 25% white. You can also add coloured accessories or a bright pop of colour, such as a belt, earrings, or chunky statement jewellery, to downplay the white and make it clear that you are a guest, not the bride.
Ultimately, if you are questioning whether your dress is too bridal, it is probably best to err on the side of caution and choose something else to wear. This will help you avoid any potential embarrassment or discomfort at the wedding.
If you are still unsure, you can always reach out to the bride or a bridesmaid to get their opinion on your dress choice. This can help you make an informed decision and ensure that you feel comfortable and confident at the wedding.
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How to downplay the white in your dress
If you're concerned about the amount of white in your dress, there are several ways to downplay it and ensure you don't upstage the bride.
One way to tone down the white in your dress is to add layers of different colours. You could try throwing on a casual jacket in a contrasting style to make your outfit more laid-back. A colourful bomber jacket, a distressed denim coat, or an edgy leather jacket can all be great options to make your dress more casual. If your dress is short, you could also wear a t-shirt or a sweater underneath for a comfy, dressed-down look.
Another way to downplay the white is by adding accessories in different colours. You could add a bright pop of colour with a belt, earrings, or chunky statement jewellery. A colourful scarf can also be draped around your neck to cover up more skin and act as a statement piece. If your dress is low-cut, you can add colour near your cleavage with a colourful shrug.
If your dress has a large-scale print on a white background, aim for a 75-25 ratio of colour to white. You can also add coloured accessories like shoes, bags, or hair accessories. For example, if you wear your hair down and add a colourful hair accessory, you can further solidify that your look isn't bridal.
If you're wearing a long dress, you can pair it with flat, strappy sandals to create a boho outfit. To tone it down further, pick sandals with brown or black leather straps. Don't be afraid to add embellishments or stones, like turquoise, to your sandals.
If you're still unsure, it's best to ask the bride directly or through a bridesmaid. It's also important to note that wearing white to a wedding is generally not recommended, especially if the dress is long, lacy, or bridal in style.
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The history of white wedding dresses
Wearing white to a wedding is a tricky business. While some people believe that any amount of white is unacceptable, others argue that a dress with some white in the design is fine, as long as it doesn't look bridal. If you're unsure, it's probably best to avoid it, as you don't want to risk upstaging the bride or making anyone feel uncomfortable.
Now, onto the history of white wedding dresses. It may be surprising to know that white wedding dresses weren't always the norm. In fact, in the Middle Ages, weddings were seen more as a political union between two families than a romantic ideal, and brides wore a variety of colours, including blue, yellow, black, brown, and grey.
The tradition of wearing a white wedding dress is commonly credited to Queen Victoria, who wore a white court dress to her wedding to Prince Albert in 1840. Before Queen Victoria, royal brides wore a variety of colours, with red being a particularly popular choice. Debutantes, however, were required to wear white court dresses for their first presentation at court, and Queen Victoria's choice of a white wedding dress set a new trend.
As photographs of Queen Victoria's wedding were widely published, brides across Europe and America began to follow her lead, choosing white gowns for their nuptials. The white dress also took on new symbolism, coming to signify purity and innocence, in addition to wealth, as laundering clothing in the 19th century was challenging, and white dresses were hard to maintain.
Over time, the white wedding dress became a popular symbol of status, and by the end of the 19th century, it was the garment of choice for elite brides on both sides of the Atlantic. However, it wasn't until after World War II that middle-class British and American brides fully adopted the trend, as increased prosperity made it possible to wear a single-use wedding dress.
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What to wear to a beach wedding
When deciding what to wear to a beach wedding, it's important to first check the invitation or wedding website for the official dress code. Beach weddings can vary in formality, ranging from casual to semi-formal and even black-tie events. If the wedding is taking place in the evening, it's likely to be more formal than a midday or morning celebration.
For women, a flowy maxi or midi dress is a popular choice for beach weddings. You can also opt for high-low dresses, classy jumpsuits, or dressy separates. Breathable fabrics such as chiffon, silk, or satin are ideal for keeping comfortable in the beach climate. Soft pastels like blush pink, seafoam green, and beige are colours that blend seamlessly with the beach environment. Vibrant shades like coral, turquoise, or yellow are perfect for adding energy to the celebration. Tropical prints, nautical stripes, boho prints, or subtle florals are also great options for capturing the festive spirit of a beach wedding. Flat sandals, wedges, block heels, or dressy hats are perfect accessories for an outdoor ceremony.
For men, a button-down shirt with slacks or chinos and a suit jacket or blazer is appropriate for a formal ceremony. For a more casual beach wedding, a lightweight suit in neutral tones like beige, light grey, or navy is a safe choice. A crisp white shirt and a tie or bow tie can complete the look. Leather loafers or boat shoes are ideal footwear options, but consider a sole that won't be damaged by sand or moisture.
As for the question of wearing white to a wedding, opinions vary. Some sources suggest that it is acceptable to wear white as long as the couple has specifically requested it or communicated it on their website or invitation. However, others advise against wearing white or ivory dresses that could be perceived as bridal or upstaging the bride. If you're unsure, it's best to choose another colour or add a coloured accessory to downplay the white.
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What to do if you're unsure about the dress code
Wedding dress codes can be confusing, and it's natural to feel unsure about what to wear. Here are some tips to help you navigate wedding attire etiquette:
Understand the Dress Code Lingo
Terms like “black-tie,” “semi-formal,” and “casual” can be ambiguous and mean different things to different people. If the invitation includes a dress code, do your research to understand the level of formality expected. For example, black-tie events are formal, evening events, typically requiring tuxedos for men and elegant, floor-length gowns for women. On the other hand, a “black-tie optional” dress code is slightly less formal, allowing for more flexibility, such as a dark suit for men or a sophisticated cocktail dress for women.
Consider the Wedding Theme and Location
The wedding theme and location can provide valuable clues about appropriate attire. For instance, a beach wedding will likely call for more relaxed, boho-style or flowy dresses, perhaps with sandals or cowboy boots. A tropical wedding may suggest lightweight, airy outfits, while a winery wedding could be semi-formal cocktail attire or formal attire, with a neutral colour palette and statement accessories.
Ask the Couple or Wedding Party
If you're still unsure, don't be afraid to ask the couple or a member of the wedding party for guidance. They can provide clarity on the expected dress code and any specific requests, such as wearing a particular colour or style. This is especially important if you're considering wearing something that could be considered controversial, like a dress with a significant amount of white.
Add Accessories to Adjust the Formality
If you have a versatile piece that can be dressed up or down, lean towards a more formal look. You can always adjust the level of formality with accessories. For example, add a bright pop of colour with a belt, earrings, or statement jewellery, or opt for trendy jumpsuits, colourful jackets, or bold accessories to make a statement.
Avoid Upstaging the Wedding Party
As a general rule, it's best to avoid wearing anything that could be perceived as upstaging the wedding party, particularly the bride. This typically includes solid white, ivory, or cream-coloured dresses, especially if they have a similar silhouette to wedding gowns. If you're unsure, it's better to err on the side of caution and choose a different outfit.
Remember, when in doubt, it's always better to ask and ensure you're comfortable and confident in your choice of attire for the special day.
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Frequently asked questions
If you have to ask, it's probably best to wear something else. The general rule is to avoid wearing white to a wedding, especially long, lacy, or bridal-looking dresses. If you're unsure, you can always ask the couple or add coloured accessories to downplay the white.
There are several ways to downplay the white in your dress. You can add a coloured shrug, wrap, or belt to introduce a pop of colour. You can also style your hair down and wear statement jewellery to draw attention away from the dress.
Yes, there are exceptions to the rule. If the couple has specifically requested that guests wear white, then it is acceptable to do so. Destination or beach weddings may also encourage light-coloured clothing, including white, so it is acceptable as long as the couple has communicated this.
There are many alternative colours that you can wear to a wedding instead of white. Some suggestions include knee-length blush, ice blue, or cocktail dresses. You can also wear large-scale prints on a white background with a 75-25 ratio of colour to white.
