Adding Humor To Wedding Toasts: Yay Or Nay?

Wedding toasts are reserved for the wedding party and are meant to wish and bless the couple for their new life together. While some couples prefer mushy wedding speeches or a soppy toast, others might prefer a funny wedding toast. Humour can be a little daunting, but a hilarious toast to the happy couple is a classic crowd-pleaser.

If you're looking to make your wedding toast funny, you could incorporate some personal stories about the couple, or draw on quotes from their favourite author, musician, or movie. You could also take inspiration from the many funny wedding toasts available online.

Just remember to read the room, keep it short and snappy, and avoid any negativity or embarrassing stories about the couple.

How to write a funny wedding toast

A wedding toast is a wish or blessing for the newlyweds' new life together. It should be personalised and unique, and it's a great opportunity to add some humour to the proceedings.

• Congratulate the couple: Start by wishing the couple well.
• Introduce yourself: Tell the guests who you are and how you know the couple.
• Tell a story: Use examples and anecdotes to illustrate your points.
• Raise your glass: Finish with a toast to the happy couple.

Tips for a Great Funny Wedding Toast

• Keep it short and snappy.
• Make it personal—share a funny anecdote about the couple.
• Use quotes from films, books, songs, or poems.
• Be careful with inside jokes—make sure most of the guests will understand your humour.
• Don't mock the couple—keep it light-hearted and good-natured.
• Balance the funny parts with something heartfelt.
• Ask someone to listen to your speech before the big day and give you feedback.
• Practise your delivery—make sure you give your jokes enough time to land.

Funny Wedding Toast Examples

• "May your marriage be so solid it could last through being on a Bravo reality TV show."
• "Marriage is like a walk in the park... Jurassic Park."
• "May our children be blessed with rich parents!"
• "Hello everyone. For those of you who don't know me, I'm [Name of newlywed one]'s and [Name of newlywed two]'s mistress."
• "May the roof above you never fall in and may you both never fall out."
• "I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always."
• "May we never forget what's worth remembering or remember what's best forgotten."
• "I'm going to ask everyone to take their glasses—and for those who still can—stand and raise a glass to the newlyweds."
• "Before I finish, I’d like you to turn to face each other. You’re now looking into the eyes of the person who is statistically most likely to murder you. To the happy couple!"
• "I have one final piece of advice for you two lovebirds: never stop laughing, even when the jokes are horrible."
• "May you both live as long as you want, and never want as long as you live."
• "May our children be blessed with rich parents, and my looks!"
• "I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life."
• "Marriage is like a tense, unfunny, version of Everybody Loves Raymond, only it doesn't last 22 minutes. It lasts forever."
• "Marriage is not just an emotional connection, it's also about remembering to take the bins out."
• "To keep a marriage brimming, with love in the loving cup, when you are wrong, admit it, and when you are right, shut up!"
• "Saying 'I do' at your wedding is like clicking the 'Accept' button any time something pops up on your computer screen. You just do it despite having no clue what it actually means."
• "May the biggest blessings you wish for be the least you get."
• "May your cellar be filled always with wines, and may all of your tumbles be under the covers."
• "May the love you’ve celebrated and shown to each other today always be the first guiding light during any trying times in the future."
• "Whether rich or poor, quick or slow, may you know only happiness from this day till forever."
• "May your love stay fresh and last, until the sunset and beyond."
• "May you never remember what is best forgotten and forget what is worth remembering."
• "Look down you gods, and on this couple drop a blessed crown."

Funny wedding toasts for friends and family

Being asked to give a wedding toast is a huge honour, but it can also be nerve-wracking. The key to a good wedding toast is to make it heartfelt and humorous, and to keep it short and sweet. Here are some ideas to get you started.

Funny Quotes for Your Wedding Toast

"Marriage is getting to have a sleepover with your best friend, every single night of the week." – Christie Cook

"I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life." – Rita Rudner

"Love is blind. Marriage is the eye-opener." – Pauline Thomason

"A good marriage is like a casserole: only those responsible for it really know what goes into it." – Unknown

"All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt." – Charles Schulz

"Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There’s too much fraternizing with the enemy." – Henry Kissinger

"The secret to a good marriage is to be a little deaf." – Ruth Bader Ginsburg

"We are all a little weird, and life is a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness and call it love." – Dr. Seuss

"May your marriage be so solid it could last through being on a Bravo reality TV show." – Anonymous

Funny Toasts for Friends

"I think men may be from Mars while women come from Venus, but the two of you are so in love and into each other that the universe feels the heat. Raise your glasses to these lovebirds!"

"I have been in this marriage game for a while, and here's a piece of advice: don't ever stop laughing, even when the jokes become lame."

"It takes a lot to get me dressed up, not even for anyone. But when two lovebirds that I love ask me to pull out all the stops, I show up and celebrate. So here’s to more love, life, and celebration."

Funny Toasts for Family Members

Wedding Toasts for Father of the Bride

"One of the toughest decisions I’ve ever made in my life is giving my daughter away. Everyone knows I’m not a generous person."

"They say the older the wine, the better it gets. But there’s just one secret—remember to always put the cork in it."

Wedding Toasts for Father of the Groom

"To the new couple, may the sun not set on your anger because we know who would sleep on the couch. A toast to my son, who’s become a man, and my new daughter, whom we have to pamper. Live long, happy, and in love. Cheers."

Wedding Toasts for Mother of the Bride

"To my baby and the man of her heart, take your coffee every morning to avoid grumpiness and a cap of honey at night for sweetness. Cheers to my children, now and always."

Wedding Toasts for Mother of the Groom

"I am old school, but this is a new world. So, I wish you love, modern enough to sail through the times and old-fashioned enough to last a lifetime."

Wedding Toasts for Sister/Brother

"May all your ups and downs, highs and lows, tough and soft, happen only in the bedroom. Happy married life, and cheers to [name] and [name]!"

One-Line Wedding Toasts

"May your household multiply, and may your hearts never be divided."

"May the love you’ve celebrated and shown to each other today always be the first guiding light during any trying times in the future."

"Whether rich or poor, quick or slow, may you know only happiness from this day forward."

"May your love stay fresh and last until the sunset and beyond."

"May you never remember what is best forgotten and forget what is worth remembering."

One-liners for wedding toasts

One-liners are a great way to add humour to your wedding speech and keep your guests entertained. Here are some funny one-liners for wedding toasts:

• “Marriage is like a walk in the park... Jurassic Park.”
• "Hello everyone. For those of you who don't know me, I'm [Name of newlywed one]'s and [Name of newlywed two]'s mistress."
• "I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always."
• "A wedding ring is sort of a tourniquet worn on one's finger to stop circulation."
• "A bachelor is a man who never makes the same mistake once."
• "Compromise: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife whereby they agree to let her have her own way."
• "Marriage is nature's way of keeping us from fighting with strangers."
• "Marriage is a three-ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring and suffering."
• "Marriage is not just an emotional connection, it's also about remembering to take the bins out."
• "May your marriage be so solid it could last through being on a Bravo reality TV show."
• "Congratulations on the termination of your isolation, and may I express an appreciation of your determination to end the desperation and frustration which has caused you so much consternation in giving you the inspiration to make a combination to bring an accumulation to the population."
• "Before you marry a person, you should first watch them use a computer with slow internet - that'll show you who they really are."
• "All you need is love... but a takeaway now and then doesn't hurt!"
• "Marry someone your own age because as your beauty fades, so will their eyesight."
• "There's only one way to have a happy marriage... and as soon as I learn it, I'll get married again."
• "As Dr Seuss once said, 'We are all a little weird, and life is a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness and call it love'."
• "You know you're killing it at the whole marriage malarkey when you ask your partner to pass you 'the thingymajig' and they know exactly what you mean."
• "True love does not come from finding the perfect person, luckily for you guys."
• "May all your ups and downs come only in the bedroom."
• "Here’s to you and here’s to me, I hope we never disagree. But if, perchance, we ever do, then here’s to me, to hell with you."
• "May our children be blessed with rich parents, and my looks!"

Tips for writing and delivering a funny wedding toast

Keep it short and sweet

A wedding toast should be no more than five minutes long. It should be long enough to share some sweet memories but short enough not to overwhelm the guests.

Make it personal

Share a short, fun memory of the couple, or offer a congratulatory message. Write how you speak, so it doesn't sound like you're reading an essay.

Include a mix of humour and sentiment

The best wedding toasts are both heartfelt and humorous. Avoid too many inside jokes, and don't poke fun at the couple.

Vet your material

Get someone else to listen to your speech before the big day. They can give you feedback on any red flags and help you adjust your content.

Practice makes perfect

Nail your timing and give your jokes room to land. Practise your speech a few times to ensure there are no clunky phrases or tricky words.

Funny quotes to include in your wedding toast

It is indeed okay to make wedding toasts funny! In fact, it is encouraged. Wedding toasts are reserved for the wedding party, and they are a great way to wish the couple well and make the day memorable. Here are some funny quotes to include in your wedding toast:

• "Before you marry a person, you should first watch them use a computer with slow internet—that'll show you who they really are."
• "All you need is love... but a takeaway now and then doesn't hurt!"
• "Marriage is like a walk in the park... Jurassic Park."
• "I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life."
• "There's only one way to have a happy marriage... and as soon as I learn it, I'll get married again."
• "May your marriage be so solid it could last through being on a Bravo reality TV show."
• "Hello everyone. For those of you who don't know me, I'm [name of newlywed one]'s and [name of newlywed two]'s mistress."
• "May we never forget what's worth remembering or remember what's best forgotten."
• "I have one final piece of advice for you two lovebirds: never stop laughing, even when the jokes are horrible."
• "To our best friends, who know the most about us, but refuse to believe it."
• "May you both live as long as you want, and never want as long as you live."
• "The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret."
• "Love is blind, but marriage is the eye-opener."
• "Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with it open."
• "A good husband makes a good wife."
• "Marriage is the most natural state of man and the state in which you will find solid happiness."
• "Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own."
• "Marriage is the highest state of friendship. If happy, it lessens our care by dividing them, at the same time that it doubles our pleasures by mutual participation."
• "The secret to a happy marriage is if you can be at peace with someone within four walls, if you are content because the one you love is near to you, either upstairs or downstairs, or in the same room, and you feel that warmth that you don’t find very often, then that is what love is all about."

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