Addressing Wedding Invitations: Etiquette For Envelopes

Wedding invitations can be a tricky task, especially when it comes to addressing them. The traditional way is to have an inner and outer envelope, the outer one being more formal and including the recipient's name, street address, return address, and postage, while the inner envelope is less formal and usually includes only the name of the person or people being invited. Abbreviations are usually avoided, and the invitation is hand-addressed in black ink. However, nowadays, it is also common to send invitations with only one envelope, which is more practical and less time-consuming.

Addressing a married couple with the same last name

When addressing a wedding invitation to a married couple with the same last name, there are a few options to consider. The outer envelope is the more formal of the two and is placed inside the inner envelope.

For heterosexual couples, the outer envelope is typically formatted as "Mr. and Mrs. [Husband's First Name] [Shared Last Name]". For example, "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren". The inner envelope can then be more informal, such as "Mr. and Mrs. Warren" or the first names of the couple, e.g., "Thomas and Michelle".

However, many modern women may prefer to have their first name included and not be lumped in with their husband. In this case, the outer envelope could be "Mr. [Husband's First Name] [Shared Last Name] and Mrs. [Wife's First Name] [Shared Last Name]". For instance, "Mr. Thomas Warren and Mrs. Michelle Warren". The inner envelope could then be "Mr. Warren and Mrs. Warren" or "Thomas and Michelle".

If you are addressing a same-sex couple with the same last name, either name can go first. For example, "Mrs. Shyan Walton and Mrs. Kiara Walton" or "Mr. Denzel Grant and Mr. Francis Grant".

Addressing a married couple with different last names

When addressing a married couple with different last names, there are a few things to keep in mind. Firstly, avoid assuming that the wife has changed her name to match her husband's. It is important to ask beforehand to avoid any confusion or offence.

If the wife has kept her maiden name, the best way to address the couple is to write their names separately, with each name on a different line. This format is considered more respectful than cramming both names onto one line, which can look messy, especially with longer names.

For example, if the couple's names are David Estevez and Maria Stevens, the correct way to address them would be:

Ms. Maria Stevens

Mr. David Estevez

Peppermint City, OH 33332

If you are unsure about whether the wife has changed her name, it is always best to ask. Using "Mrs." when she hasn't changed her name may cause offence, so it is worth checking beforehand.

When addressing the envelope, it is also important to use appropriate titles for the couple. "Mr." and "Mrs." are traditionally used for married couples, but "Ms." is also acceptable and is often preferred by women who wish to be identified by their marital status.

Additionally, when addressing a married couple with different last names, it is standard practice to use the "AND" conjunction between their names to indicate that they are married.

So, to summarise:

• Ask beforehand to confirm if the wife has changed her name.
• Write each name on a separate line to keep the address looking neat.
• Use appropriate titles (Mr., Mrs., or Ms.) based on the couple's preference.
• Use "AND" between their names to indicate they are married.

By following these guidelines, you can ensure that your invitation is correctly addressed and respects the couple's preferences.

Addressing a single person

When addressing a wedding invitation to a single person, the proper prefix should be used. For male guests, use "Mr." and then their full name. For female guests, use "Ms." and then their full name. For non-binary guests, use the abbreviation "Mx." and then their full name.

If the single guest has been offered a plus one, you don't need to indicate this on the outer envelope. Instead, reserve "and guest" for the inner envelope. For example, “Mr. James Montgomery” on the outer envelope, and “Mr. Montgomery and guest” on the inner envelope.

If the guest is a widow, it's best to ask if she prefers to be addressed using her married name or her husband's name. Some widows may also prefer to be addressed as "Ms." If the guest is divorced, you can address the envelope using either "Ms." or "Mrs." and either her ex-husband's last name (if she still uses it) or her maiden name, depending on her preference.

If the guest is a judge, use the term "The Honorable" before their full name. If the guest is a priest, use the term "Father" before their full name.

For single female guests under the age of 18, use "Miss" instead of "Ms." on both the outer and inner envelopes. For single male guests under the age of 18, no title is necessary.

Addressing a single person with a plus one

When addressing a wedding invitation to a single person with a plus one, it is best to know the name of the guest your invitee will bring. If you know the name, include it on the envelope as you would for an unmarried couple.

If you do not know the name of your friend's guest, simply write "and guest" after your friend's name. You do not need to capitalise "and" or "guest".

For example:

Mr. Tyler Morris and guest

Outer envelopes follow the rules above, while inner envelopes drop the first name or, when you are very close to the guests, use only first names.

For example:

Ms. Spano, Mr. Slater, or Jessie and A.C.

Addressing an unmarried couple

When addressing wedding invitations to unmarried couples, there are a few things to keep in mind. Firstly, it is important to include both guests' full names on the invitation, even if you have never met the other partner. If you know both individuals, there is no excuse for not including both names. Secondly, if the couple lives together, their names should be written on the same line, with the person you are closest to listed first. If you are equally close to both, you can go in alphabetical order by surname. For example:

> Ms. Rachel Green and Mr. Ross Geller

If the couple does not live together, it is ideal to send a separate invitation to each person. However, if you choose to send only one invitation to the primary guest, be sure to include the partner's name on the inner envelope.

When addressing the outer envelope, the format can vary depending on the formality of your wedding. For a more formal wedding, use titles and full names, such as:

> Mr. Ross Geller and Ms. Rachel Green

For a less formal wedding, you may choose to leave out titles and use only first and last names, or even just first names if you are very close to the couple.

Frequently asked questions