Writing Your Own Wedding Vows: A Step-By-Step Guide To Getting It Right

Writing your own wedding vows can be a daunting task, but it's also a beautiful opportunity to express your love and make promises to your partner that are unique and meaningful to your relationship. Here's a guide to help you get started on crafting your own wedding vows:

Step-by-Step Guide to Writing Your Wedding Vows:

- Voice Admiration: Begin by expressing your love and admiration for your partner. Declare your affection and share why you're gathered here today—to celebrate your love and commitment.

- Vision Casting: Paint a picture of the future you want to build together. What kind of life and home do you envision? What values and goals do you share?

- Incorporate Stories: Include a story or two that illustrates your partnership. These can be lighthearted and fun, but avoid inside jokes that only a few guests will understand. Opt for stories that are relatable and showcase your journey as a couple.

- Make Solid Promises: Think about both the joys and challenges that come with married life. Make promises that reflect your commitment to stick together through good times and bad. Voice the specific commitments you plan to uphold throughout your marriage.

- Connect with the Audience and Conclude: Wrap up your vows by briefly reiterating the most important points and tying everything together. End with a heartfelt declaration of your love.

Tips for Writing Your Wedding Vows:

- Read Examples: Draw inspiration from various sources, such as real-life couples' vows, movies, books, or even your favourite fictional characters' vows.

- Agree on Tone and Format: Discuss with your partner the tone and format you'd like to use. Are you going for lighthearted and funny, or more traditional and stoic? Finding a balance that reflects both of your personalities is key.

- Include Stories but Avoid Embarrassment: Injecting humour is great, but be mindful of your audience. Avoid anything that might embarrass or make your partner feel sensitive. Keep the tone uplifting and respectful.

- Practice: Don't wait until the wedding day to say your vows aloud for the first time. Practice beforehand, preferably in front of a mirror or a trusted friend. This will help you refine your delivery and work through any nerves.

- Start Early: Give yourself plenty of time to write your vows. Start at least a month or a few months in advance. Writing meaningful vows takes time and reflection.

- Get Help if Needed: If you're struggling, don't hesitate to ask for help. Many wedding officiants are willing to guide you, or you can even hire a vow-writing service.

Voice admiration

When writing your wedding vows, it's important to voice your admiration for your partner. This is your chance to get a little sappy and gush about your partner publicly in front of your most beloved friends and family. Here are some ideas to get you started:

• "I promise to always pursue you, to fight for you and to love you unconditionally and wholeheartedly for the rest of my life."
• "I promise to love, respect, protect and trust you, and give you the best of myself."
• "I vow to keep our relationship a safe haven of love, support and peace—even and especially during hard times."
• "I promise to always tell you how much I love you and appreciate all that you do."
• "I vow to give you all of my love every day without hesitation."
• "I promise to love you through the good times and bad. To choose our love every single day."
• "I promise to support your dreams, and walk beside you offering courage and strength through all endeavours."
• "I promise to be faithful, supportive, and loyal and to give you my companionship and love throughout all the changes of our life."
• "I vow to bring you happiness, and I will treasure you as my companion."
• "I will celebrate the joys of life with you."
• "I promise to laugh with you every day, to dance with you in the kitchen and to not rub it in when I beat you in horse."
• "I promise to listen to your dreams (and be there to hold you after any nightmares)."
• "I promise to look at the moon every time you say: 'Look at the moon.'"
• "I vow to always make sure I bring a snack for you on long car trips."
• "I vow to never stop kissing you every time we stop at a red light."
• "I promise to remember we are not perfect—only perfect for each other."
• "I vow to learn how to use the espresso machine so I can make you your morning coffee just how you like it."
• "I promise to never stop holding your hand."
• "I vow to split my cuddle time equally between you and our dog."
• "I promise to always bring you a snack for you on long car trips."
• "I promise to never stop holding your hand."
• "I vow to split my cuddle time equally between you and our dog."
• "I promise to never stop admiring your [insert specific characteristic or quality here]."
• "I promise to always be in awe of your [insert specific characteristic or quality here]."
• "I promise to always appreciate how you [insert specific action here]."

Vision casting for the future

When it comes to writing wedding vows, vision casting for the future is a great way to start your new life stage with your partner. Here are some ideas and examples to inspire you:

Express Your Exciting Future Plans

Share your dreams and aspirations for the future with your partner. This could be anything from travelling the world together to starting a family. For example: "I can't wait to explore new places and create new memories with you." or "I look forward to building a family with you and creating a warm and loving home."

Discuss Your Shared Goals and Values

Talk about your shared goals and values, and how you plan to work together to achieve them. For instance: "We share a passion for adventure, and I can't wait to explore the world with you by my side." or "Together, we will build a life based on our shared values of love, honesty, and respect."

Make Promises for the Future

Make promises to your partner that reflect your commitment to the relationship and your future together. For example: "I promise to support and encourage you in all your pursuits and to always be by your side." or "I vow to always be there for you, through the good times and the bad, and to face life's challenges together as a team."

Paint a Picture of Your Future Together

Create a vision for your future life together by describing the kind of home and family you want to build. For example: "I see us in a cozy home, filled with love and laughter, surrounded by the family we create together." or "I promise to create a safe and loving home for us, where we can be ourselves and support each other through all of life's ups and downs."

Share Your Hopes for a Long and Happy Marriage

Express your hopes and wishes for a long and happy marriage. For instance: "I promise to love and cherish you today, tomorrow, and forever." or "My dream is to grow old with you, to create a lifetime of memories together, and to always be each other's best friend."

Make solid promises

Making solid promises is an essential part of your wedding vows. A vow is, after all, a promise—and without specific promises, you aren't really reciting vows.

The purpose of wedding vows is to solidify your commitment to your partner as you enter into marriage. It is important to explain what you promise to your partner during this milestone moment. Use your promises to communicate how you envision your future together and what kind of partner you wish to be for them.

A good rule of thumb is to include three to six promises. Any more than six promises and the vows tend to lose their impact and emotional significance. Be concise, specific, and choose promises that feel very special to your unique relationship dynamic.

Focus on promises that are specific to you, your partner, and your relationship. You can choose to include only serious promises or try to include a few more playful and humorous promises as well. Choose a style that fits your personality, but keep in mind that even if funny wedding vows are your goal, you should include at least two serious promises. You want your vows to be grounded with a few promises that can represent your entire marriage through every changing season it will experience.

• "I promise to trust and respect you."
• "I promise to laugh at your jokes... even the ones that are only kind of funny."
• "I promise to show appreciation for all the little things you do for me."
• "I promise to always put God first in our marriage."
• "I promise to be honest and faithful."
• "I promise to always put our love first."
• "I promise to choose adventure over tradition and to walk with you instead of alone."
• "I promise to chase your dreams alongside you."
• "I promise to create a home where we will become our own family."
• "I promise to build a happy and loving home with you."
• "I promise you my whole heart for my entire life."
• "I promise to travel the world with you."
• "I promise to watch your favorite reality TV shows with you."
• "I promise to not just say 'I love you' but to show you every day."
• "I promise to forgive quickly and to love you easily."
• "I promise to never forget how we began and allow that loving feeling to carry us through to our very end."
• "I promise you all of me, forever."

Connect with the audience and conclude

Now that you've expressed your admiration for your partner, painted a picture of your future together, and made solid promises, it's time to connect with your audience and conclude your vows. This is your chance to bring everything together and leave a lasting impression on your partner and guests. Here are some tips and examples to help you effectively wrap up your wedding vows:

Reiterate Key Points:

Summarize the most important parts of your vows. Highlight the promises, sentiments, or themes that you want your partner and guests to remember. For example:

> "You are my soulmate, and I vow to walk through life's adventures and challenges with you. I promise to love, respect, and honor you and to be by your side through all of life's ups and downs.

Express Your Love:

Declare your love for your partner explicitly. This can be a simple yet powerful way to conclude your vows. You can say something like:

> "I love you, and I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you."

Include a Call to Action:

Encourage your partner and guests to reflect on the significance of the moment. You can say something like:

> "Let's celebrate this special day and cherish the love we share."

Add a Touch of Humor:

If it aligns with your personality and the tone of your vows, add a lighthearted statement or inside joke to bring some laughter and warmth to the moment. For example:

> "I promise to always bring a snack for you on our long car trips and to never stop holding your hand."

Tie It All Together:

Find a way to bring your thoughts and promises full circle. You can reference something you mentioned earlier in your vows or use a metaphor to emphasize the depth of your love. For instance:

> "Falling for you wasn't falling at all—it was walking into a house and knowing you're home. I love you, and I can't wait to build our home together."

End on a Poignant Note:

Conclude your vows with a statement that captures the essence of your relationship and your commitment to your partner. This can be a powerful way to leave a lasting impression. For example:

> "You are my better half and my very best friend. I will love, honor, and cherish you through all of life's journeys. I am forever yours."

Remember, the key is to be authentic and speak from the heart. Your vows are a reflection of your unique relationship, so feel free to adapt and personalize these examples to match your style and sentiments. Happy writing!

Read plenty of examples

Reading examples of wedding vows is a great way to get inspired and overcome writer's block. You can look at examples from real couples, or fictional examples from TV and film.

> I, Stefano/James, take you, James/Stefano, to be my husband. When you need a friend, I will be your best friend. When you need help, I will be there for you. When you need care, I will support you. When you want to try something new, I will encourage you. And when you do the same for me, I will appreciate you. But if you don't… I will forgive you. Every day. For the rest of my life.

>

> ...

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> I promise to love, respect, protect and trust you, and give you the best of myself.

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> ...

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> I promise to stand by your side while you face the world, to listen to you when you speak.

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> ...

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> I promise to laugh with you every day, to dance with you in the kitchen and to not rub it in when I beat you in horse.

>

> ...

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> I promise to always make sure I bring a snack for you on long car trips.

>

> ...

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> I promise to love you through the good times and bad. To choose our love every single day.

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> ...

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> I promise to love and honor you [name], (but add a time frame and funny reference for levity) all the days of my life, especially when curled up on the couch with takeout.

> "With this ring, I give you my promise that from this day forward, you shall not walk alone. May my heart be your shelter and my arms be your home. May God (Spirit) bless you always. May we talk together through all things. May you feel deeply loved, for indeed you are. May you always see your innocence in my eyes. I give you my heart. I have no greater gift to give. I promise I shall always do my best. I feel so honored to call you my husband/wife. I feel so pleased to call you mine. May we feel this joy forever. I thank God (Spirit). I thank you and I love you."

>

> ...

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> "I, (name), take you, (name), to be my wedded wife/husband from this day forward, to have and to hold as equal partner in my life, to whom I give my deepest love and devotion. I humbly open my heart to you as a sanctuary of warmth and peace, where you may come and find a refuge of love and strength. I will love you enough to risk being hurt, trust you when I don't understand, weep with you in heartache, and celebrate life with you in joy. I will receive you as my equal throughout all of our days."

Frequently asked questions