There are many ways to politely inform your wedding guests that children are not invited to your wedding. The most common way is to address the invitations to the adults who are invited, and to make it clear how many seats have been reserved for them. You can also include a line on the RSVP card, such as We kindly request this be an adult-only wedding. If you have a wedding website, you can also mention it there. It is important to be direct and clear about your wishes to avoid any confusion.
Characteristics | Values |
---|---|
Tone | Polite, Considerate, Clear, Direct |
Wording | "Adults-only affair", "Adult-only event", "No children under [age]", "We kindly request", "We respectfully request", "We politely request", "We hope you'll join us", "Although we love your children", "We respectfully advise", "This invitation is extended to adults only", "Please respect our wishes for a child-free wedding/ceremony/reception" |
Reasons | Space restrictions, Venue restrictions, Budget constraints, Guest enjoyment, Personal preference |
What You'll Learn
How to politely decline kids at your wedding
It's your wedding, so it's your choice whether to have a child-free celebration or not. If you decide to politely decline kids at your wedding, here are some tips and wording examples to help you communicate this to your guests.
Tips for politely declining kids at your wedding:
- Be direct and clear about your request. Simply saying "no kids" may not be enough. Specify the age groups that cannot attend and be consistent in applying this rule.
- Inform your guests as soon as possible, preferably when you send out your save-the-dates or wedding invitations. This will give them enough time to make childcare arrangements.
- Avoid mentioning your personal feelings about kids or calling out specific children. Keep your request general and diplomatic to avoid any drama or hurt feelings.
- Stand firm in your decision. Be sensitive in dealing with upset parents, but don't back down. Remember, it's your wedding day, and you have the final say on the guest list.
- Consider providing alternative options, such as hiring a babysitter or suggesting babysitting services in the area. This can be a thoughtful touch and help guests with kids attend your wedding.
Wording examples for politely declining kids at your wedding:
- "We kindly request this be an adult-only wedding."
- "We love your children, but due to space restrictions, we cannot accommodate guests under the age of [insert number] on our wedding day."
- "Unfortunately, we are only able to accommodate the children in the wedding party at our reception."
- "Please note that this is an adults-only celebration."
- "We respectfully request no children under the age of 18 at the reception."
- "The bride and groom request that this be an adults-only reception."
- "Due to the nature of our venue, we are unable to invite children."
- "We are unable to accommodate children beyond our flower girls and page boys."
- "We are sorry that we are unable to accommodate children at our wedding, but we hope that the advance notice means you can still attend."
- "We respectfully advise this is an adult-only event (18+), however, infants under 12 months are welcome."
- "Please join us for an adults-only reception at 6:00 pm."
- "Although we love your children, we regretfully cannot accommodate them due to limited seating."
- "We have decided to keep our wedding events adults-only and appreciate your understanding."
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Wording examples for your wedding website
- "We kindly request this be an adult-only wedding."
- "We love your children, but due to space restrictions, we cannot accommodate guests under the age of [insert number] on our wedding day."
- "Unfortunately, we are only able to accommodate the children in the wedding party at our reception."
- "We respectfully request no children under the age of 18 at the reception."
- "Please join us for an adults-only reception at 6:00 pm."
- "Unfortunately, we cannot accommodate children—thank you for your understanding."
- "We politely request that there be no children under the age of 18 at the reception."
- "No children under the age of 16 will be permitted."
- "We respectfully advise this is an adult-only event."
- "We would like our special day to be an adult-only occasion."
- "Please be aware that this will be an adults-only wedding."
- "We are unable to invite children to our wedding. We hope that the advance notice means you are still able to attend."
- "We respectfully request that under-18s do not attend the reception."
- "We are delighted to welcome children to the ceremony and early reception. However, from X pm onwards, the wedding will be adults only."
- "We are only able to accommodate the children of immediate family to our wedding."
- "Although we love your children, we regretfully cannot accommodate them at the venue due to limited seating."
- "We thought you would like the night off, so we are having an adults-only wedding."
- "To give all our guests the opportunity to celebrate without having to worry about little eyes and ears, we politely request no children."
- "We hope you will understand our decision to make the wedding children-free, and take the opportunity to celebrate in style!"
- "To allow all guests to relax and enjoy themselves, we have chosen to make our special day adults only. We thank you for your understanding."
- "Due to the nature of our venue, we are unable to invite under-18s to our wedding."
- "Our venue has a strict no-under-18s policy, so we are unable to welcome children to the wedding."
- "We are very sorry, but due to restrictions at our venue, we cannot accommodate children."
- "Due to safety reasons at our venue, we are unable to extend this invitation to children."
- "We are unable to accommodate children beyond our page boys and flower girls."
- "We are only able to accommodate the children of the wedding party."
- "As our wedding will run late into the evening, we’d prefer to keep our big day for adults only."
- "We truly wish we could invite all our guests' children to our wedding, however, we are only able to invite the children of our immediate families."
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How to address your wedding invitations
The way you address your wedding invitations can be a delicate matter, especially if you don't want children at your wedding. Here are some tips and examples to help you navigate this process.
Be Clear and Direct
It's important to be clear and direct when addressing your wedding invitations, especially if you're having a child-free celebration. Avoid being too subtle, as your message may be missed. Be specific about which age groups are not invited, and never call out specific children.
Addressing Envelopes
Traditionally, wedding invitations include an inner and outer envelope. The outer envelope is formal and includes the recipient's full name and title (Mr., Mrs., Ms., Mx.). The inner envelope is more informal, and you can use first names only if you prefer.
Married Couple with the Same Last Name
For a heterosexual couple, the outer envelope can be addressed as "Mr. and Mrs. [Husband's Full Name]." For a same-sex couple, either name can go first. If the couple prefers to include the wife's name, address it as "Mr. [Husband's Full Name] and Mrs. [Wife's Full Name]." The inner envelope can include their surnames or first names only.
Married Couple with Different Last Names
For couples with different last names, write their full names on the outer envelope, with the woman's name first. For same-sex couples, use the same format and appropriate prefixes. On the inner envelope, use their surnames or first names.
Unmarried Couple
For unmarried couples living together, list both names on one line on the outer envelope, starting with the person you are closest to. On the inner envelope, use their surnames or first names.
Single Person
For a single person, use "Mr." for males, "Ms." for females over 18, "Miss" for females under 18, or "Mx." for non-binary individuals. If a plus-one is included, reserve "and Guest" language for the inner envelope.
Family with Children
When inviting a family with children, the outer envelope should include only the parents' names. List each child's name on the inner envelope. This is important because not including children's names implies that they are not invited. You may still need to clarify this with a phone call or on your wedding website.
Adults-Only Wedding
If you're having an adults-only wedding, make this clear on the invitation or RSVP card. Some examples include:
- "Please note that this occasion is adults-only."
- "This will be an adults-only celebration."
- "We kindly request this be an adult-only wedding."
- "Please join us for an adults-only reception at 6:00 pm."
Be Consistent and Sensitive
Remember to apply your adults-only policy consistently, with possible exceptions for children of immediate family or wedding party members. Don't be upset if parents can't attend, and don't let anyone guilt-trip you about your decision. Accept that some parents may need to leave early.
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Ways to spread the word about your no-kids wedding
Deciding to have a no-kids wedding is a personal choice, and it's important to communicate this decision to your guests clearly and effectively. Here are some ways to spread the word and ensure your special day is child-free:
- Use Your Wedding Website: Create a wedding website to provide important information about your big day. Include an FAQ section that addresses your decision to have a child-free celebration. This gives guests with children time to arrange childcare. You can also mention any babysitting options in the area as a thoughtful touch.
- Properly Address Invitations: Ensure that your wedding invitations are addressed only to the adults you are inviting. This is a subtle yet effective way to indicate that children are not included. For formal invitations with inner and outer envelopes, list the invited guests' names on the inner envelope. If using only an outer envelope, be clear and specific about who is invited.
- Be Clear and Direct: Use straightforward language on your wedding website and invitations. Simply stating "no kids" or "adults-only" may not be sufficient. Specify the age groups that cannot attend, such as "under 18" or "21+." This clarity will help avoid confusion and ensure your guests understand your request.
- Spread the Word in Person: In addition to your website and invitations, inform your immediate family, wedding party members, and close friends about your decision. Ask them to spread the word through word of mouth. This way, guests with children will have advance notice and can make the necessary arrangements.
- Provide Save-the-Dates: Send save-the-dates along with your wedding website information. This allows guests to plan ahead, especially if they need to make childcare arrangements for your wedding dates.
- Be Consistent: Apply the no-kids rule consistently across your guest list. You can make exceptions for children of immediate family or wedding party members, but be sure to communicate these exceptions clearly to other guests to avoid confusion or hard feelings.
- Offer Babysitting Options: If your budget allows, consider providing a babysitting service or creche for guests with children. This gesture shows that you are thoughtful and considerate of their needs while still maintaining your child-free wedding vision.
- Be Sensitive but Firm: Understand that some parents may not be able to attend due to your child-free policy. Respect their decision, but don't waver on your choice. It's your wedding day, and you have the right to decide who is invited.
- Phone Calls for Close Friends and Family: For those with whom you have a close relationship, consider giving them a call to explain your decision personally. This can help avoid any misunderstandings and show that you value their presence at your wedding.
- RSVP Cards: Utilize RSVP cards to reinforce your request. You can include a line such as, "We have reserved ___ seats for you at the reception," or "___ adults would love to attend." This makes it clear that children are not included in the invitation.
Remember, it's essential to communicate your no-kids wedding decision as early as possible to give your guests ample time to plan and make arrangements. By using a combination of these strategies, you can effectively spread the word and ensure that your special day is child-free.
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What to do if guests bring their kids anyway
Deciding to have a child-free wedding is a perfectly valid choice, but it can be tricky to navigate. Here are some tips on what to do if guests bring their children anyway:
- Be Consistent: It's important to apply the "no kids" rule equally to all guests. Make clear exceptions for children of immediate family members or those in the wedding party, and be sure to communicate this to your other guests.
- Prepare a Response: If you suspect that some guests might bring their children despite your request, it's a good idea to prepare a response in advance. Decide whether you want to accommodate the children, ask the guests to leave, or offer an alternative solution, such as recommending a babysitter.
- Inform Guests in Advance: Make sure you clearly communicate your "no kids" request to your guests through your wedding website, invitations, or personal conversations. This gives guests with children enough time to make necessary arrangements.
- Offer Childcare Solutions: If your budget allows, consider providing a babysitter or childcare services at the venue or recommending local options. This can help guests respect your wishes while also ensuring their children are taken care of.
- Stay Calm and Polite: If guests arrive with their children, try to remain calm and polite. It can be frustrating when your wishes aren't respected, but maintaining a respectful tone will help diffuse the situation.
- Enlist Help: If you have a wedding planner or coordinator, they can be a great resource for handling this situation. They can politely inform the guests of your request and help find a solution that works for everyone.
Remember, it's your special day, and you have the right to decide who attends. However, it's important to handle this situation with grace and understanding, especially if guests have travelled a long distance or are close family members.
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Frequently asked questions
It is your wedding, so ultimately the guest list is up to you. However, to politely request that guests do not bring their children, you should be direct and clear. You could say something like: "We kindly request this be an adult-only wedding" or "We respectfully request no children under the age of 16/18 at the reception".
You can include this information on your wedding website, on your invitations, or on a separate information card. If you are sending out paper invitations, you can also include the number of seats that have been reserved for each guest on the RSVP card.
It is not rude to decide that you would prefer not to have children at your wedding. However, it is important to be sensitive to the fact that this may be an unpopular opinion and could cause some upset. It is also important to be consistent and not make exceptions for certain children, as this could cause further tension.
It is best to avoid saying things like "We thought you'd appreciate a night off!" or "To give you the opportunity to really let your hair down, we've decided not to invite children." These phrases can come across as patronising and may cause offence.