Crafting Gratitude: The Art Of Thank-You Notes For Wedding Gifts

Writing wedding thank-you notes can be a daunting task, especially when it comes to non-traditional gifts like cash. However, showing gratitude to your guests is an important part of the post-wedding process. Here are some tips to help you get started on writing thoughtful and heartfelt thank-you notes for cash gifts:

- Use your judgement when referencing the cash amount. While it was once deemed inappropriate to mention money in a thank-you card, it is now considered better to do so. Writing the amount received confirms that you received the correct amount and gives the gift-giver peace of mind. However, if you think the guest may be offended, feel free to leave it out.

- Explain how you'll use the money. Guests who give cash often appreciate knowing how their gift will be spent. Share your plans, whether it's for a honeymoon, a new home, or simply saving for the future.

- Be timely. While you don't have to send the notes right away, most people expect a reply within 2-3 months. For gifts received before the wedding, it's a good idea to send the thank-you notes promptly.

- Handwrite your notes. While digital thank-you cards are more environmentally friendly and may be preferred by younger generations, a handwritten note shows that you took the time to personally write a thoughtful message.

- Make each note personal. Avoid writing the same generic message to everyone. Add a unique touch to each note to show your guests that you truly appreciate their time, presence, and gift.

How to ask for cash gifts politely

It is not considered rude to ask for cash as a wedding gift. In fact, according to The Knot's 2023 Wedding Registry Study, cash funds are some of the most popular registry items today, particularly for honeymoon funds.

• Create a cash fund wedding registry. This allows couples to have more freedom and flexibility in spending the money as they see fit. Websites like Hitchd allow couples to create separate "items" that guests can contribute to, such as tickets, dinners, specific excursions, or even luggage for a honeymoon.
• Add gift cards to your wedding registry. This is a discreet way of asking for money and will help you stock up on funds for your favourite restaurants, stores, or online brands.
• Do not ask for money on your wedding invitations. It is not okay to ask for monetary gifts on your formal wedding invitations. Instead, put information about your registry on your wedding website and include a link to your wedding website on the invite or an insert card with the website address.
• Word your wedding website thoughtfully. Explain why you've registered for cash and how you'll use the funds. For example, "Your presence at our wedding is a gift, but should you wish to buy us something, we'd greatly appreciate a contribution towards our [insert cash fund]."
• Let family and friends spread the word. Inform your parents, siblings, and wedding party that cash funds or honeymoon contributions are important to you. That way, if any wedding guests approach them for gift inspiration, they can spread the word.
• Designate a place for cards at your reception. Set up a wedding card box at the reception, also known as a "wishing well," to accommodate cash donations in person.

Writing Thank-You Notes for Cash Gifts

When writing thank-you notes for cash gifts, here are some tips to consider:

• Handwrite your notes. Thank-you notes should always be handwritten as it shows that you took the time to personally write a thoughtful message.
• Use discretion when acknowledging cash gifts. It is no longer deemed inappropriate to mention the amount of money received in a thank-you card. Use your judgment based on your relationship with the guest.
• Explain how you'll use the money. Guests want to know that their gift will be appreciated, so do explain how the cash donation will be used, whether it is for a home renovation, a puppy fund, memorable date-night experiences, or your honeymoon.
• Send thank-you notes promptly. For gifts received before the wedding, send thank-you notes within two weeks. For items received after the wedding, aim to send them within three months.
• Address the notes properly. On the exterior of the envelope, address the guests the same way you addressed your wedding invitations. On the interior of the card, it is perfectly fine to address guests by their first names.
• Include both partners' names. Both the bride and groom should sign the thank-you note, even if it is for someone on only one person's side of the wedding party.

Handwritten vs. digital cards

Wedding card thank-you etiquette has become more flexible in today's online world. Wedding guests are now used to receiving digital invitations, purchasing gifts or sending money via an online registry, and receiving thank-you cards via email. Younger generations may also prefer electronic thank-you cards as they are better for the environment.

However, there is still something special about receiving a handwritten thank-you note in the mail. Nice stationery and a thoughtfully written message can go a long way in showing your wedding gift-givers your appreciation.

Whether you choose to send handwritten or digital thank-you cards for your wedding is ultimately up to you. However, it is important to follow some suggestions on what to include in the card and when to send it, and always add a personal touch for the gift-giver.

Handwritten Cards

Handwritten thank-you notes are considered more thoughtful and polite, as they show that you took the time to personally write a thoughtful message. Typed or emailed thank-you notes can seem impersonal and may even be considered rude by some recipients.

If you choose to handwrite your thank-you cards, here are some tips to consider:

• Choose a thank-you card design that represents you as a couple.
• Treat yourself to a high-quality pen with blue or black ink that won't smear or bleed through the paper.
• Stock up on stamps so your cards are ready to mail right away.
• Include a reference to the cash gift, mentioning the amount of money received. This confirms that you received the correct amount and is no longer considered inappropriate or too forward.
• Make each card personal and unique, even if it is just a short and simple message.
• Handwrite the addresses on the envelopes, or use pre-printed return address labels to save time.

Digital Cards

Digital thank-you cards are a convenient and environmentally-friendly option. They can be especially useful if you have a large number of thank-you cards to send and want to save time. Here are some tips for sending digital thank-you cards:

• Choose a digital stationery design that matches the theme, colour, or style of your wedding.
• Include a photo of you and your partner or a favourite wedding moment.
• Add a personal message to each recipient, even if you are sending the same basic message to everyone.
• Include your wedding logo, motif, or monogram for a personalised touch.
• Send the cards in batches as you receive gifts, rather than waiting until after the wedding.

How to address envelopes

The exterior of the wedding thank-you card envelope should be addressed in the same way as your formal wedding invitations. It's best to handwrite the addresses, although you can use pre-printed return address labels on the back flap to save some time. You can also use clear labels and a pretty font if you're strapped for time.

If you're sending the card to an entire family or a couple, address each member who attended your wedding by name. It's fine to use first names. Ultimately, you should do what feels right based on your relationship with them.

When to send cards

Sending wedding thank-you cards is an important task that should be completed within a few months of the wedding. The ideal timeline is within two weeks of receiving a gift before the wedding, and within three months for gifts received during or after the wedding. Here are some detailed guidelines and tips for when to send these cards:

Gifts Received Before the Wedding

It is recommended to send thank-you cards within two weeks of receiving a gift before the wedding. This shows prompt gratitude and also confirms to the gift-giver that you received their present. It is considered rude to delay sending these cards, and it is best to avoid waiting until after the wedding to thank your guests.

Gifts Received During or After the Wedding

For gifts received on or around the wedding day, or shortly after, the general rule of thumb is to send thank-you cards within three months of the wedding. This timeframe also applies to cards for non-gift-giving guests and is considered a polite gesture to express appreciation for their presence and support.

Managing the Task

Writing and sending thank-you cards can be overwhelming, especially with a large number of guests. Here are some tips to make the process more manageable:

• Work in sections: Start with family, then move on to your partner's family, friends, and so on.
• Don't overdo it: Writing all the cards at once can lead to errors and burnout. Instead, work on a few each day and take breaks.
• Use your save-the-date mailing list: Utilize this list to ensure you have correct and up-to-date contact information for your guests.
• Keep track of gifts: Hold on to cards, envelopes, and wrapping paper to help identify gifts and senders. Create a spreadsheet to track gifts and senders during the reception.
• Don't ask after the wedding: It is your responsibility to keep track of gifts and senders. Asking guests after the wedding what they gave you can be considered rude and make them feel unappreciated.

What to write in the card

Writing a wedding thank-you card doesn't have to be a daunting task. You can use the same template for each card, and no one will know you rinsed and repeated! Here are some tips on what to include in your card:

• Be timely: most people expect a reply within 2-3 months, but the sooner the better. If you receive gifts before the wedding, it's a good idea to write those thank-you notes early.
• Write notes to everyone, even if they didn't get you a gift.
• Include details in your notes: mention the item or, if it was cash, how you intend to spend it.
• Handwrite your notes: this shows you took the time to personally write a thoughtful message.
• Prepare everything in advance: choose a card design that represents you as a couple, and treat yourself to a high-quality pen.
• Use discretion when acknowledging cash gifts: it's now considered better to mention the amount of money you received, but use your judgment based on your relationship with the guest.
• Address them properly: you can address guests by their first names in the card, but the exterior envelope should be addressed in the same way as your formal wedding invitations.

"We are so thankful that you took the time to celebrate our special day with us. We had fun dancing with you at the reception and hope you enjoyed yourself! Thank you for your generous contribution to our honeymoon fund. We look forward to using it for swimming with the dolphins—a bucket list goal of both of ours! Thank you so much and lots of love! — [Bride and Groom names]"

"We are so thankful that you thought of us before our big day! Thank you so much for contributing to our wedding fund. While we are sad that you can’t make the wedding, we’ll be sure to share pictures and videos! Your generous gift will be used for a new couch that will fit our new space much better! We hope to see you soon. In the meantime, we send our love and hugs! Thank you! — [Bride and Groom names]"

"We were sorry that you could not attend our big day—you were missed! It was so thoughtful of you to give us money to celebrate our wedding. We are planning an epic honeymoon and will use it to purchase luggage, which we both desperately need! We hope to see you soon. In the meantime, we send our love and hugs! Thank you! — [Bride and Groom names]"

"It was so incredibly thoughtful of you to give us a gift of money for our wedding. We are lucky to have friends/colleagues/neighbours like you in our circle! We are planning to go to Europe for our honeymoon, so your gift will help us as we purchase flights and hotels. Thank you for your generosity! — [Bride and Groom names]"

"Thank you so much for celebrating our wedding day with us! We had the best time and were so happy you were there. We are so appreciative of your generous gift and look forward to adding it to our new car fund. Thank you again for joining in the celebration of our marriage. — [Bride and Groom names]"

Frequently asked questions