Crafting Wedding Invites: Omitting Parents' Names Gracefully

When it comes to wedding invitations, there are many ways to carefully craft the wording to reflect different situations, such as weddings with no children, divorced parents, or deceased parents. Here's a guide to help you navigate this important aspect of your special day.

If you're facing a delicate situation with divorced parents, a simple fix is to list the mother and father's names on separate lines without using and to connect them. The mother's name is always listed first, and you can use either Ms. or Mrs. to avoid confusion. In the case of remarried parents, it's appropriate to include the bride or groom's last name to prevent any misunderstanding.

For weddings with no children, a tactful approach is preferred. Using double envelopes can subtly indicate who is invited. The outer envelope can be addressed to the parents, while the inner envelope specifies the invited guests' first names. Alternatively, using only one envelope with formal names and addresses can also imply that children are not included. Including a line on the RSVP card indicating the number of seats reserved for each household reinforces the adults-only message.

In the case of a deceased parent, there are ways to honour them in your invitations. If the mother is not remarried, the wording can be Mrs. Sarah Smith requests the pleasure of your company at the wedding of her daughter. If the mother is remarried and has a different last name than her daughter, it's appropriate to include the bride's last name to avoid confusion: Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Jones request the pleasure of your company at the wedding of her daughter. Similar adjustments can be made if the father is deceased, remarried, or if both parents have passed away.

When the couple is hosting the wedding, the invitation can simply begin with the bride and groom's names, with the bride's name always listed first. For a formal ceremony, using full names or at least first and last names is recommended.

In situations where both parents are hosting, the bride's parents' names are traditionally listed first, followed by the groom's parents. If there are divorced or deceased parents involved, adjustments can be made using the guidelines mentioned earlier.

Lastly, when everyone, including the couple and both sets of parents, is hosting the wedding, a sample wording could be: Together with their families, Michael Alan Timmons and Avery June Smith request the pleasure of your company at their wedding.

How to word the request to attend

The request to attend is an essential part of a wedding invitation. This is where you extend the invitation to your guests and set the tone for your celebration. Here are some examples of how to word the request to attend for a wedding without parents' names included:

Formal Wedding

"The honour of your presence is requested"

"We request the honour of your presence"

"We request the pleasure of your company"

Fun Wedding

"We invite you to raise a glass and join us"

"We hope you'll join us on the dance floor to celebrate"

"Come party with us"

Casual Wedding

"We invite you to share in our joy"

"We would love for you to join us"

"We invite you to celebrate with us"

Creative Wedding

"It's a wedding! We invite you to celebrate with us"

"We can't wait to celebrate with you"

"Good food, good drinks, good friends—request you to celebrate with us"

Modern Wedding

"With much love, we invite you to celebrate with us"

"We would love to eat wedding cake with you"

Simple Wedding

"We request your company"

"Are getting married"

You can also add a line about the type of celebration, such as "Dinner and dancing to follow" or "Merriment to follow".

The order of the couple's names

Different-Sex Couples

For different-sex couples, the bride's name typically comes first, followed by the groom's name. This is true regardless of whether the bride's parents are hosting or the couple is hosting themselves. If the bride's parents' names are listed at the top of the invite, the bride's name can be written without her last name, as her parents' names will already be included. In this case, the groom's full name is usually included.

Same-Sex Couples

For same-sex couples, the traditional rule of the woman's name first does not apply. Instead, the names can be listed alphabetically by last name or based on what looks best with the invitation design.

Formality

The level of formality of the wedding is another factor that can influence the order of the couple's names. For more formal weddings, the couple's full names (including middle names) are typically used. For less formal weddings, first names only may be used.

How to address divorced parents

If your parents are divorced, the wedding invitation wording can be adjusted to reflect this. Here are some examples of how to word the host line when addressing divorced parents:

Divorced parents who are not remarried, the mother kept her married name:

"Ms. Sarah Smith

Mr. John Smith

Request the pleasure of your company at the wedding of their daughter"

Divorced parents who are not remarried, the mother uses her maiden name:

"Ms. Sarah Jones

Mr. John Smith

Request the pleasure of your company at the wedding of their daughter

Michael Alan Timmons"

Divorced parents, mother remarried:

"Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Jones

Mr. John Smith

Request the pleasure of your company at the wedding of their daughter

Michael Alan Timmons"

Divorced parents, both parents remarried:

"Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Jones

Mr. and Mrs. John Smith

Request the pleasure of your company at the wedding of their daughter

Michael Alan Timmons"

When addressing divorced parents on a wedding invitation, it is important to list the mother's name first, followed by the father's name on a separate line. Avoid using "and" to connect their names; instead, give each name its own line. This format is used to indicate that the parents are not married to each other. Additionally, using "Ms." instead of "Mrs." can help eliminate any confusion about marital status.

If the bride's parents are divorced and you want to include both as hosts, you can list all the parents' names, keeping each parent on a separate line. For example:

"Dr. Vance and Elizabeth Gregory

Mr. James Abner and Lydia Abner

Mr. Harold and Jane Hyland

Invite you to the wedding of their children Amy Abner and Charles Hyland"

Additional Tips for Wedding Invitation Wording

• Host Line: The opening line of a wedding invitation usually names the hosts of the event. If the couple is hosting the wedding themselves, this line can be omitted.
• Attendance Request: This line invites guests to attend and can be phrased in various ways, such as "request the pleasure of your company" or "invite you to celebrate with them."
• Names: The names of the couple are typically displayed prominently and may be in a larger or fancier typeface.
• Date and Time: Traditional invitations spell out the date and time in full, while modern invites often use numerical figures.
• Location: Include the name and address of the venue, including the city and state. For international weddings, add the country as well.
• Reception Details: If the ceremony and reception are at the same venue, simply state "reception to follow." Otherwise, include the reception details on a separate card.
• Dress Code: Including dress code information is optional but can be helpful for guests. It is usually mentioned in the lower corner or centre of the invite.

Including a deceased parent

Wording and Formatting

The traditional format for wedding invitations that include parents' names is as follows:

> [Engaged Person's Name]

> child of [Parent's Name] and the late [Parent's Name]

> [Engaged Person's Name]

> child of [Parent's Name] and [Parent's Name]

> request the honour of your presence at their marriage.

By including "late" before the deceased parent's name, you clarify that they are no longer living while still honouring their memory. If both parents have passed away, you can modify the format as follows:

> [Engaged Person's Name]

> child of the late [Parent's Name] and the late [Parent's Name]

> [Engaged Person's Name]

> child of [Parent's Name] and [Parent's Name]

> request the honour of your presence at their marriage.

If the surviving parent has remarried, you can include your step-parent's name as well:

> [Engaged Person's Name]

> child of [Parent's Name] and [Step-Parent's Name]

> the late [Deceased Parent's Name]

> [Engaged Person's Name]

> child of [Parent's Name] and [Parent's Name]

> request the honour of your presence at their marriage.

Alternative Options

If you prefer not to include your parents' names on the invitation itself, there are other ways to honour them. You can list the names of other surviving family members, such as grandparents, aunts, uncles, or guardians. For example:

> [Engaged Person's Grandparent's Name] and [Engaged Person's Grandparent's Name]

> [Engaged Person's Parent's Name] and [Engaged Person's Parent's Name]

> request the honour of your presence at the marriage of

> [Engaged Person's Name]

> child of the late [Parent's Name] and [Parent's Name]

> [Engaged Person's Name]

Another option is to use a more general phrase like "together with their families" if you don't want to list specific names.

Honouring Deceased Parents at the Wedding

In addition to the invitation, you can incorporate special touches during the wedding ceremony and reception to honour your deceased parent. Here are some ideas:

• Memorial candle: Include a memorial candle to allow guests to participate in remembrance.
• Reserved seat: Reserve a seat at the ceremony and reception to symbolically include your deceased parent.
• Wedding program: Include a note "in loving memory" of your parent in the wedding program.
• Toast: Raise a toast during the reception to honour your parent.
• Memorial poem: Share a short memorial poem during the ceremony or reception dedicated to your parent.
• Flowers: Hold a bouquet or display flowers that remind you of your deceased parent.

How to indicate an adults-only event

There are several ways to indicate that your wedding will be an adults-only event. Here are some suggestions:

Double Envelopes

Use double envelopes to make it clear who is invited. This means you'll have an outer envelope addressed to the parents and an inner envelope addressed to all invited guests in the household. This method allows you to be crystal clear about who is invited without explicitly stating "adults-only" on the invitation itself.

Outer Envelope Only

If you prefer to use only one envelope, you can address the outer envelope to the parents only. You can make it more technical by including first names, such as "Mr. John Smith and Mrs. Sarah Smith." This approach ensures that only the invited adults are mentioned, implicitly indicating an adults-only event.

RSVP Card

Another option is to add a line on your RSVP card that notes how many seats are reserved for each household. For example, "Kindly reply by the twenty-third of May. We have reserved _ seat(s) in your honour." This way, you can subtly indicate that children are not included in the invitation.

Wedding Website

A wedding website is an excellent place to indicate that your wedding is an adults-only affair. Include a website card with your invitation suite, so guests can refer to it for more details about your event. This approach allows you to communicate the information tactfully without putting it directly on the invitation.

Response Cards and Guest Addressing

When addressing your response cards and guest envelopes, be sure to only include the names of the invited adult guests. This method implicitly conveys that children are not included in the invitation.

Spread the Word

While it's important to be tactful and gentle in your approach, it can be helpful to encourage family members, wedding party members, and close friends to spread the word about the adults-only nature of your event. This way, guests with children will receive the message through word of mouth, reducing the risk of any misunderstandings or hurt feelings.

Frequently asked questions