Writing Wedding Invitation Addresses: A Step-By-Step Guide

Wedding invitation envelopes can be a tricky task, but it's an important one as it's the first step in making your guests feel welcome on your big day. There are a few key considerations to keep in mind when addressing your wedding invitations, from the formality of your wedding to the appropriate titles and honorifics for your guests.

The outer envelope is typically more formal and includes the recipient's full name and title. For married couples with the same last name, traditional etiquette states Mr. and Mrs. followed by the husband's full name. However, a more modern approach lists both first names and the shared last name, with the woman's name first. For married couples with different last names, their names are written on the same line with the woman's name first, or listed separately. Unmarried couples living at the same address are addressed with both names on one line, listing the person you are closest with first.

The inner envelope is more informal, allowing for a more relaxed approach. You can choose to include titles and last names or just first names.

Married couples with the same last name

When addressing wedding invitations to married couples with the same last name, there are a few options to consider. The traditional format for a heterosexual couple involves using "Mr." and "Mrs." followed by the husband's first and last name. For instance, "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren". If you would like to include the wife's first name, you can write "Mr. Thomas Warren and Mrs. Michelle Warren". On the inner envelope, you can simply use their first names or "Mr. Warren and Mrs. Warren".

For a same-sex couple, either name can go first. For example, "Mr. and Mrs. Michelle Warren" or "Mrs. and Mr. Thomas Warren". On the inner envelope, you can address them by their first names or use a combination of their first and last names, such as "Michelle and Thomas".

It is important to note that some modern women may prefer to have their names included and not lumped in with their husband's. In such cases, it is advisable to ask the couple about their preferred format. Additionally, always double-check the spelling of their names and ensure you have their correct mailing address.

Married couples with different last names

When addressing wedding invitations to married couples with different last names, there are a few things to keep in mind. Firstly, avoid assuming that the wife has changed her name to her husband's. It is important to use both the husband and wife's names, and not just the husband's full name with "Mrs." as this can be seen as erasing the wife's identity.

For heterosexual couples, the woman's name is written first, followed by the man's name on the same line. If the combined names are too long to fit on one line, list them separately. Here is an example:

Outer envelope: "Ms. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez"

Inner envelope: "Ms. Stevens and Mr. Estevez" or "Maria and David"

If you are unsure whether the wife has changed her name, it is always best to ask first. It is also worth noting that some women may prefer to be addressed as "Miss" or "Ms." instead of "Mrs.".

Additionally, if the couple is not married, the same rules apply as for married couples with different last names.

Single guests with a plus one

When it comes to addressing wedding invitations to single guests with a plus one, there are a few things to keep in mind to ensure your guests feel welcome and well-informed. Here are some instructive guidelines:

Using "and Guest"

One popular approach is to address the invitation to your single guest and simply add "and Guest". This can be done on the inner envelope, as in "Sam Li and Guest", or on the outer envelope, such as "Mr. Smith & Guest". This clearly indicates that they are invited to bring a plus one. It is also a good idea to include the exact number of people invited on the RSVP card to avoid any confusion or assumptions.

Including a Note

If you prefer a more personalised touch, you can include a note along with the invitation. This can be a printed note slipped in with the invite or a handwritten note at the bottom of the card or on the back of the invitation. The note can say something like, "You are invited to bring a guest" or "You are welcome to bring a plus one". This approach ensures your guest knows they have the option to bring someone along.

Addressing by Name

When addressing the outer envelope, you can write the guest's first and last name without adding "and guest". This makes it clear that the invitation is specifically for them. Once they open the card, they will see the mention of "plus one" or "and guest". This approach works well if you know the name of the plus one, allowing you to address them directly.

Seating Arrangements

It is important to consider the seating arrangements for your single guests with plus ones. Creating a "singles-only" table might give the impression of corralling your single guests. Instead, aim for a communal feel by placing them between outgoing and friendly couples they can mingle with. This will make them feel comfortable and help them meet people more organically.

Flexibility and Communication

Remember, it is your special day, so don't feel obligated to offer plus ones to everyone. You can be selective and only extend the invitation where you think it is needed. However, be prepared for guests to ask if they can bring a plus one. Communicate your decisions clearly and kindly, and be open to learning about any changes in their relationships that might warrant a plus one.

By following these guidelines, you can navigate the intricacies of addressing wedding invitations to single guests with plus ones, ensuring your guests feel welcomed and valued as you celebrate your big day.

Unmarried couples

When addressing wedding invitations to unmarried couples, there are a few things to keep in mind. Firstly, it is important to list both people's names on the invitation, indicating that they are a couple without implying that they are married. This can be done by writing their names on the same line or on separate lines. Here are some examples:

Contemporary:

• "Ed and Kara"
• "Carlos and Maria"
• "Mr. Carlos Hamilton and Ms. Maria Hamilton"

Traditional:

• "Mr. Ed Parsons and Ms. Kara Porter"
• "Mr. Aaron Triguiero and Mr. Gabriel Reyes"

If the couple has different last names, the format remains the same. Here are some examples:

Contemporary:

"Georgina Evans and Simon Khan"

Traditional:

"Ms. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez"

When addressing unmarried couples living together, it is important to indicate their separate addresses if they do not reside at the same address. In this case, their names would be written on separate lines without any connecting word or symbol. Here is an example:

• "Ms. Valerie Warrington
• Mr. Brian Freeman"

It is worth noting that some modern couples may prefer to use the "and" between their names to signify their union, even if they are not married. This is also acceptable, and the choice ultimately depends on the couple's preference.

Formal vs informal addressing

When addressing wedding invitations, it's important to consider the level of formality you wish to convey. The outer envelope, which is more formal, typically includes the recipient's full name and title. The inner envelope is more informal, allowing for more flexibility in how you address your guests. Here are some examples of formal versus informal addressing:

Married Couple with the Same Last Name

Formal Addressing:

Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren

Informal Addressing:

Thomas and Michelle

Married Couple with Different Last Names

Formal Addressing:

Ms. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez

Informal Addressing:

Maria and David

Married Couple, One of Whom Is a Doctor

Formal Addressing:

Doctor Tami Takata and Mr. John Smith

Informal Addressing:

Tami and John

Unmarried Couple Living at the Same Address

Formal Addressing:

Ms. Sara Trent and Mr. Anthony James

Informal Addressing:

Sara and Anthony

Single Female with a Plus One

Formal Addressing:

Ms. Stephanie Chen and Guest

Informal Addressing:

Stephanie and Guest

Single Male with a Plus One

Formal Addressing:

Mr. James Montgomery and Guest

Informal Addressing:

James and Guest

Family with Children

Formal Addressing:

Mr. and Mrs. Alan Thompson and Family

Informal Addressing:

Alan, Emily, Roger, Chance, Jennifer, and Lily

Couple with Distinguished Titles (e.g., Military Officers)

Formal Addressing:

Captain Jonathan Kelly, US Navy, and Mrs. Jane Kelly

Informal Addressing:

Jonathan and Jane Kelly

Frequently asked questions