Writing Your Own Wedding Vows: A Geek's Guide To Crafting The Perfect Promise

Writing your own wedding vows is a great way to personalise your ceremony and celebrate what makes your relationship unique. While traditional vows are beautiful and classic, writing your own can be especially meaningful.

If you're writing your own vows, it's important to start early. Give yourself plenty of time to brainstorm and write down your thoughts and feelings. Reflect on your relationship, the key moments and experiences that have shaped it, and the promises you want to make. Be sure to discuss your expectations with your partner, so you're both on the same page.

When it comes to the structure of your vows, most follow a basic format: address your partner, recap your love story, communicate what you admire about them, describe what you appreciate about your relationship, make a few specific promises, and close with how you envision your future together. Keep your vows concise, meaningful, and authentic to who you are as a couple.

If you're feeling stuck, don't be afraid to draw inspiration from traditional vows, poetry, books, movies, or even your favourite TV shows. You can also include a funny anecdote or inside joke to make your vows more lighthearted and personal.

Remember, your vows are a declaration of love and a serious commitment. They should reflect the unique qualities of your relationship and your promises to one another as you begin your married life together.

Include humour and inside jokes

Including humour and inside jokes in your wedding vows is a great way to express your fun-loving personality as a couple and to reflect the joy of your relationship. Here are some tips for adding humour and inside jokes to your geeky wedding vows:

• Recount funny stories: Share humorous narratives about your relationship, such as how your first date went horribly wrong or an embarrassing moment you both shared. For example, "I vow to always move your shoes out of the middle of the floor, no matter how many times your feet decide to leave them there."
• Incorporate inside jokes: Include inside jokes or code words that only the two of you understand. For instance, "I vow to pretend not to notice your terrible dance moves as long as you let me win at board games now and then."
• Add a touch of self-deprecating humour: Make light of your own quirks or habits that your partner loves, even if they drive you crazy. For example, "I promise to have patience and never intentionally hurt you, and to apologise when my hangry self accidentally does."
• Use humour to express your love: Find a balance between sentimentality and humour by writing sweet and playful vows that reflect your personalities. For example, "I promise to love you even when I hate you."
• Reference pop culture: Draw inspiration from your favourite movies, TV shows, books, or video games. Include quotes, lyrics, or references that are meaningful to both of you and add a touch of humour to your vows.
• Keep it lighthearted: While your vows should acknowledge the seriousness of your commitment, using humour and inside jokes can create a more relaxed and enjoyable atmosphere for you and your guests.

Reference your favourite books, films, TV shows, etc

Referencing your favourite books, films, TV shows, and other pop culture sources in your wedding vows is a great way to personalise your ceremony and celebrate what makes your relationship unique. Here are some tips and examples to help you get started:

Quotes and References

Add a special quote or reference that you both share as a couple. This could be from a movie, TV show, book, song, or even a video game. For example, you could include a quote like:

> "So, I'll keep this very short because I think you know that I would climb a thousand mountains for you. You will always be a part of me, and I'm a part of you indefinitely." – Patrick, *Schitt's Creek*

Or:

> "I love you. Very simple, very truly. You’re the epitome of every attribute and quality I’ve ever looked for in another person… I can’t stand next to you without wanting to hold you." – *The Time Traveler's Wife*

Inside Jokes and Humour

Using inside jokes or humour in your wedding vows is a great way to make your partner and guests smile. Just remember to keep it lighthearted and not too cryptic or embarrassing. For example, you could say something like:

> "I vow to never make you read books. I vow to attend any doctor's appointment if it will make you feel better." – Jeanine to Kaleb, *The Big Bang Theory*

Or:

> "I promise to always be there when you have troubles and to know that sometimes, simply letting you talk about your problems is enough." – Dennis to Kristen

Stories and Memories

Recounting romantic stories or memories can make your wedding vows more interesting and meaningful. Think about the most memorable moments you have shared and how they reflect your relationship. For instance, you could say:

> "I thought this was going to be the most difficult thing I ever had to do. But when I saw you walking down the aisle, I realized how simple it was. I love you. You are the person I was meant to spend the rest of my life with." – Chandler to Monica, *Friends*

Or:

> "I went home after that night and saved every measly penny I made at my retail job for weeks until I could afford to take you out to dinner. Every day feels like I'm remembering who you are instead of getting to know you." – Caterina to Andrew

Promises and Commitments

In addition to sharing stories and references, don't forget to include concrete promises that reflect your relationship and future together. These could be serious or lighthearted, such as:

> "I promise to not only stick by their side forever, but to also be the one to kill spiders whenever they creep their way into your home." – Alexis Dent, XO Juliet

Or:

> "I'll keep you safe from [insert random phobia]."

Tone and Length

When referencing your favourite books, films, and TV shows in your wedding vows, consider the overall tone and length. Keep your vows concise and edit out any unnecessary details. You don't want to lose your guests' attention! Aim for around one minute or less per person.

Discuss your expectations with your partner beforehand, including the length, tone, and how personal you want your vows to be. It's also a good idea to practice reading your vows out loud to ensure they flow smoothly and are easy to understand.

Make promises for the future

Making promises for the future is a key part of wedding vows. Here are some ideas for what to include in this section:

Promises for the Future

• I promise to love and encourage you, and to support and believe in your dreams.
• I promise to be patient and to remember that love takes work.
• I promise to be your rock and your refuge, to provide strength and support when times are tough.
• I promise to be your partner in crime, your adventure buddy, and your biggest fan.
• I promise to be faithful and true, to be honest and open with you always.
• I promise to care for you, to protect you, and to always put your needs first.
• I promise to be your equal, to respect and value you, and to always treat you as my best friend.
• I promise to be by your side, to laugh with you, cry with you, and grow with you.
• I promise to be there for you, to fill your days with sunshine, and to always bring a smile to your face.
• I promise to be your confidant and your sounding board, to listen with compassion and understanding.
• I promise to be faithful and true, to be honest and open with you always.
• I promise to be your partner, your friend, and your lover, to grow old disgracefully with you.
• I promise to be your partner in this grand adventure we call life.
• I promise to be your partner in this crazy journey called marriage.
• I promise to always move your shoes out of the middle of the floor.
• I promise to never hurt you intentionally, and to always apologise if I do.
• I promise to have faith and patience through dark times.
• I promise to keep updating our vows as we grow and change, and to fall more in love with you every day.

Share personal stories

Sharing personal stories is a great way to make your wedding vows unique and meaningful. Here are some ideas to get you started:

Describe your first impression of your partner and what initially attracted you to them. This could be their physical appearance, a unique personality trait, or a shared interest that sparked your connection.

Talk about the activities you enjoy doing together and how they bring you closer. Do you love travelling to new places, trying new cuisines, or simply enjoying quiet moments at home? Sharing these details will give your guests a glimpse into your everyday lives as a couple.

Recount a special moment or experience that stands out as particularly romantic. It could be your first date, a spontaneous gesture, or a grand romantic gesture. This will add a touch of sweetness and sentimentality to your vows.

Share the moment when it dawned on you that this person was the one you wanted to spend your life with. It could be a specific conversation, a grand gesture, or a series of small moments that gradually led to this realisation.

Think back to an adventure or a challenging situation you faced together. How did it bring you closer and strengthen your bond? This story will not only entertain your guests but also showcase your ability to overcome obstacles as a team.

Remember, your personal stories don't have to be lengthy or overly detailed. Choose the moments that are most meaningful to you and weave them into your vows in a way that feels natural and authentic.

Reaffirm your unwavering support

Reaffirming your unwavering support is a key part of wedding vows. It's a chance to communicate your intention to stick by your partner's side through the good times and the bad. Marriage isn't always easy, and there will be peaks and valleys, so it's important to pledge your commitment to getting through any challenges together.

• "I vow to always support and encourage you, no matter what life throws our way."
• "I promise to be your rock and your refuge, to stand by your side through thick and thin."
• "In sickness and in health, I will be there for you, whether it's with tissues and chicken soup or just a listening ear."
• "I will be your partner in crime, your adventure buddy, and your biggest fan. I'll cheer you on and celebrate your successes, and I'll be your comfort and support when times get tough."
• "I promise to love and cherish you, to have patience and understanding when things get difficult, and to always work through our challenges together."
• "Life might not always be smooth sailing, but I will always navigate the storms with you and never let you sail alone."
• "Together, we can get through anything. I will be your strength when you are weak, and you will be mine. We will lift each other up and face the world as a team."
• "I promise to be your safe haven, a place of comfort and peace in the midst of life's chaos. My arms will always be open to you."
• "I will be your ally and your advocate, your cheerleader and your confidant. I will stand by your side and fight for our love, always."
• "No matter what challenges we face, I will never leave your side. My love for you is unwavering, and my commitment to our relationship is forever."

Frequently asked questions