Writing A Gay Couple's Names On Wedding Invitations

When addressing a wedding invitation to a gay couple, the general rule is to follow the couple's preferences. If you are unsure about their preference, you can refer to the following guidelines. If the couple is unmarried, it is customary to address each person individually with their respective titles and last names on separate lines, similar to how one would address an unmarried heterosexual couple. For married couples with different last names, both names are written on the same line, separated by and. For example, Mr. Charles Adams and Mr. John Green. If the married couple shares the same last name, you can use the French plural titles Messrs. for men and Mesdames or Mmes. for women. For instance, Messrs. Charles and John Green or Mmes. Anna and Emily Andrews. Ultimately, the choice of how to address the invitation depends on the couple's preference and the level of formality desired.

Titles for married gay couples

When addressing a married gay couple on a wedding invitation, there are a few options you can use. Here are some detailed guidelines to help you with the titles:

Different Last Names:

If the couple has different last names, the traditional approach is to list their names separately, each with their respective title. This is similar to how you would address an unmarried opposite-sex couple. For example:

"Mr. George Bellafante

Mr. Thomas Jones"

On the inner envelope, you can use titles and last names:

"Mr. Bellafante and Mr. Jones"

Same Last Name:

When the couple shares the same last name, you have a few options:

• Use "Mr." or "Mrs." with each name: You can address them as "Mr." followed by their names or "Mrs." if they identify as such. For instance: "Mr. John Graham and Mr. David Graham" or "Mrs. Jane Clint and Mrs. Sarah Clint." You can also list the last name once, like "Mr. John and Mr. David Graham" or "Mrs. Jane and Mrs. Sarah Clint."
• Plural Titles: Instead of "Mr." or "Mrs." for each individual, you can use the plural forms "Messrs." (for men) and "Mesdames" or "Mmes." (for women). For example: "Messrs. Charles and John Green" or "Mesdames Anna and Emily Andrews."
• Retro-traditional: You can use "Mr. and Mr." or "Mrs. and Mrs." followed by their shared last name. For example: "Mr. and Mr. Matthew Harris" or "Mrs. and Mrs. Smith."

Alphabetical Order:

If you are unsure about the order of names, arranging them alphabetically is a safe option. This is especially helpful when you don't know who to put first or when consistency is important, such as in invitation envelopes and address labels.

Ask the Couple:

Remember, there are no rigid rules, and different couples may have varying preferences. When in doubt, don't hesitate to ask the couple how they would like to be addressed. They will likely appreciate your consideration and effort to get it right.

Titles for unmarried gay couples

When addressing wedding invitations to unmarried gay couples, there are a few options to consider. The general rule is to address each person individually with their appropriate title and full name. Write each name on a separate line, just as you would with an unmarried heterosexual couple. The order of the names is usually alphabetical, but you can arrange them with the person you are closest to first. For example:

Mr. George Bellafante

Mr. Thomas Jones

On the inner envelope, you can use titles and last names:

Mr. Bellafante and Mr. Jones

If the unmarried gay couple has expressed that they consider themselves a permanent pair, you can put both names on one line and separate them with "and". For example:

Mr. Stanley Kim and Ms. Amanda Rhee

On the inner envelope, you can use their first names:

Stanley and Amanda

It is important to respect the preferences of the couple and use their preferred names and titles. If you are unsure, don't hesitate to ask them directly to ensure you are addressing them correctly.

Alphabetical order

When addressing a wedding invitation to a gay couple, the same principles of etiquette apply as for heterosexual couples, with a few small differences. Firstly, it is important to note that the order of the names does not typically matter, but if you are unsure, arrange them alphabetically.

Unmarried Gay Couples

If the couple is unmarried, you should address each person individually with the appropriate title. Write each name on a separate line, the same way you would for an unmarried heterosexual couple. For example:

On the outer envelope:

Mr. George Bellafante

Mr. Thomas Jones

On the inner envelope:

Mr. Bellafante and Mr. Jones

Married Gay Couples

If the couple is married, you have a few options. You can write both names on the same line, separated by "and", with each name preceded by their title. For example:

Mr. Dan Brown and Mr. John Smith

Alternatively, you can use the plural form of the title, especially if they have the same last name:

The Messrs. Dan and John Smith

Another option is to use the retro-traditional format:

Mr. and Mr. Matthew Harris

However, unless you know for sure that the couple prefers this form, it is better to use the first option.

Unmarried Gay Couples Who Consider Themselves a Permanent Pair

If the couple is unmarried but considers themselves a permanent pair, you can put the two names on one line and separate them with "and", without using titles. For example:

Aaron and Rodger Smith

In conclusion, when addressing wedding invitations to gay couples, it is important to consider their marital status and their preferred titles. Using alphabetical order for the names is a good guideline when you are unsure of the order.

Different last names

When addressing a wedding invitation to a gay couple with different last names, the general rule is to write each name on a separate line, just as you would for an unmarried opposite-sex couple. This format applies whether the couple is married or not. Here are some guidelines to help you with the wording and format:

Married Couples with Different Last Names

If the gay couple is married and has different last names, their names should be written on the same line, separated by "and". Many married same-sex couples choose to keep their last names, so this format is often the most appropriate. Here's an example:

"Mr. Charles Adams and Mr. John Green"

Unmarried Couples with Different Last Names

When addressing an unmarried gay couple with different last names, it is customary to address each person individually with their appropriate title. Write each name on a separate line. The order of the names usually doesn't matter, but if you're unsure, arrange them alphabetically. For instance:

"Mr. George Bellafante

Mr. Thomas Jones"

On the inside envelope, you can use titles and last names: "Mr. Bellafante and Mr. Jones".

Same-Sex Couples with the Same Last Name

If the gay couple shares the same last name, you can use the French plural titles "Messrs." for a male couple or "Mesdames" or "Mmes." for a female couple. For example:

"Messrs. Charles and John Green" or "Mmes. Anna and Emily Andrews"

Alternatively, you can write "Mrs. Anna Andrews and Mrs. Emily Andrews", depending on their preference.

Additional Considerations

When addressing a married gay couple, avoid using "Ms." and "Ms." as it may sound awkward. Instead, use "Mr." for male couples and "Mrs." for female couples. If one member of the couple is a doctor, you can use "Dr." or "Doctor" instead of "Mr." or "Mrs."

If you're unsure about the preferred format or titles, don't hesitate to ask the couple for their preferred greeting. They will likely appreciate your consideration, and you can avoid making a mistake in your invitations.

Same last names

When addressing a wedding invitation to a gay couple with the same last name, there are a few options you can consider. Here are some detailed guidelines to help you with the wording and format:

Using Formal Titles

If the couple is male, you can address them as "Mr." followed by their first names and last name. For example, "Mr. John Smith and Mr. David Smith". Alternatively, you can list the last name once as "Mr. John and Mr. David Smith". This format applies whether the couple has chosen to share one last name or use a hyphenated combination of their last names.

For a female couple, the standard formal title is "Mrs.", followed by their first names and last name. For instance, "Mrs. Jane Smith and Mrs. Sarah Smith". Similar to the male couple, you can also write "Mrs. Jane and Mrs. Sarah Smith" to list the last name only once.

Using Plural Titles

Instead of using "Mr." or "Mrs.", you can opt for the plural titles "Messrs." for a male couple and "Mesdames" or "Mmes." for a female couple. For example, "Messrs. John and David Smith" or "Mesdames Jane and Sarah Smith". These are French titles and are perfectly acceptable in English formal addresses.

Professional Titles

If one or both members of the couple are doctors, you can use "Dr." or "Doctor" as the title. For example, "Dr. John Smith and Mr. David Smith" or "Drs. John and David Smith". The same format can be used for lawyers, followed by "Esquire".

Ordering the Names

When deciding on the order of names, consider the level of formality of your wedding and your relationship with the couple. Here are a few options:

• Invitation Recipient First: If you are primarily inviting one half of the couple and extending a courtesy invitation to their partner, list the invitee's name first. For example, "Mr. Roger Smith and Mr. Alex Smith".
• Alphabetical Order: If you don't have a preference or are unsure, arranging the names alphabetically is a safe option. For instance, "Mr. Adam Smith and Mr. Bob Smith".
• Personal Preference: There are no strict rules, so feel free to choose the order that sounds better or more natural to you. Just remember to be consistent with the name order on the invitation card and the envelope.

Lastly, remember that these are general guidelines, and it's always a good idea to ask the couple about their preferred titles and name order if you're unsure. They will likely appreciate your thoughtfulness and willingness to respect their preferences.

Frequently asked questions