Incorporating Your Church Into Your Wedding: A Guide

Planning a wedding can be a daunting task, and writing a church wedding ceremony script can be challenging. However, with some guidance and inspiration, it is possible to create a meaningful and memorable service. The ceremony usually begins with the processional, marking the entry of the bridal party, followed by the groom, who stands at the front of the church, awaiting his bride. The bride's entrance is often accompanied by music, with traditional pieces like the 'Wedding March' by Wagner.

The service commences with the Preface, read by the Celebrant, setting out the Christian understanding of marriage, drawing on scriptures from the Bible. This is followed by readings from the Bible and other sources, hymns, and a brief address by the Celebrant, imparting advice and words of exhortation to the couple. The couple then exchanges vows, with the option of including ring and unity ceremonies, before the Celebrant pronounces them husband and wife, and they seal their vows with a kiss.

The newlyweds then sign the marriage certificates, accompanied by music, prayers, and blessings, before exiting the church, leading their attendants, and greeting family and friends.

The processional: the entry of the bride and her attendants into the church

The processional is the first part of a wedding ceremony, and sets the tone for the rest of the event. It is the first order of business at a wedding ceremony, and is when members of the immediate family and wedding party head down the aisle, either taking their seats or gathering on either side of the altar.

The processional begins with the mother of the bride, who takes her seat to the left of the aisle in the first row. The groom then takes his place at the head of the altar, either entering from the side or walking down the aisle solo. The best man then enters, either walking in from the side to stand next to the groom, or as the last groomsman. The groomsmen then walk down the aisle one by one, followed by the bridesmaids, who also walk down the aisle one by one. The maid or matron of honour then enters, standing by the bride's side at the altar, holding her bouquet and sometimes the groom's ring.

The ring bearer and flower girl precede the bride, and traditionally carry the wedding rings and a basket of petals to scatter, respectively. After the rings are handed off to the best man, the children are done, and they can be seated with their parents.

Finally, the bride makes her entrance, escorted by her father, who gives her away to the groom. The father of the bride lifts her veil, kisses her, and gives his blessing, before taking his seat beside the bride's mother.

The preface: the celebrant's explanation of the Christian understanding of marriage

The preface is a crucial part of the wedding ceremony, setting the tone and providing an explanation of the Christian understanding of marriage. It is typically read by the celebrant, with the couple and their attendants standing alongside the congregation.

The preface draws on Christian Scriptures, specifically the Bible, as received by the Anglican Church, and it cannot be omitted or changed. It outlines the Christian understanding of marriage, emphasising its sacred nature as a covenant between the couple and God.

The preface may include a reference to "children being born," but this can be omitted if the couple requests it. It is followed by a hymn, with the congregation continuing to stand. Some popular choices for this moment include "Morning Has Broken," "Love Divine, All Loves Excelling," and "Now Thank We All Our God."

The celebrant will then give a brief address, elaborating on the meaning of marriage and offering words of advice and encouragement to the couple. If the couple has a relationship with a religious leader outside of the Anglican Church, that person may deliver this address instead.

The preface is a pivotal moment in the wedding ceremony, providing a foundation for the rest of the service and ensuring that the couple and the congregation are aligned in their understanding of the sacred nature of Christian marriage.

The readings: one from the Bible, and possibly others

If you're having a religious wedding ceremony, you must include at least one reading from the Bible. You can include other readings or poems as well but these will need to be approved by the church. If you're having a Catholic wedding, your readings are limited to scriptures from the Bible.

1 Corinthians Chapter 13

> If I speak in the tongues of mortals and of angels, but do not have love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give away all my possessions, and if I hand over my body so that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

> Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

> Love never ends. But as for prophecies, they will come to an end; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will come to an end. For we know only in part, and we prophesy only in part; but when the complete comes, the partial will come to an end. When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; when I became an adult, I put an end to childish ways. For now we see in a mirror, dimly,* but then we will see face to face. Now I know only in part; then I will know fully, even as I have been fully known. And now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; and the greatest of these is love.

Colossians Chapter 3, verses 12-17

> As God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience. Bear with one another and, if anyone has a complaint against another, forgive each other; just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.

> Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly; teach and admonish one another in all wisdom; and with gratitude in your hearts sing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs to God.

> And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

Song of Solomon, Chapter 2, verses 10-13; Chapter 8, verses 6 & 7

> Chapter 2 My beloved speaks and says to me: ‘Arise, my love, my fair one, and come away; for now the winter is past, the rain is over and gone. The flowers appear on the earth; the time of singing has come, and the voice of the turtle-dove is heard in our land. The fig tree puts forth its figs, and the vines are in blossom; they give forth fragrance. Arise, my love, my fair one, and come away.’

> Chapter 8 Set me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal upon your arm; for love is strong as death, passion fierce as the grave. Its flashes are flashes of fire, a raging flame. Many waters cannot quench love, neither can floods drown it. If one offered for love all the wealth of one’s house, it would be utterly scorned.

1 John Chapter 4, verses 7-12

> Beloved, let us love one another, because love is from God; everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, for God is love. God’s love was revealed among us in this way: God sent his only Son into the world so that we might live through him. In this is love, not that we loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the atoning sacrifice for our sins. Beloved, since God loved us so much, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God lives in us, and his love is perfected in us.

> Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labour: if either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

Genesis, Chapter 1, verses 26-28

> Then God said, ‘Let us make humankind in our image, according to our likeness; and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the birds of the air, and over all the wild animals of the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps upon the earth.’

> So God created humankind in his image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.

> God blessed them, and God said to them, ‘Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth and subdue it; and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the air and over every living thing that moves upon the earth.’

The homily: the celebrant's address about the meaning of marriage

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to celebrate the union of [Bride] and [Groom] in holy matrimony. Marriage is a sacred covenant, a lifelong commitment of love and support.

Marriage is a joyous occasion. It is a reflection of God's union with His people. It is a bond that is not to be taken lightly but with careful thought and reverence. It is a duty to be a considerate, tender, faithful, and loving partner, to support and cherish one another in prosperity and trouble, in sickness and in health, for better or worse, for richer or poorer.

[Bride] and [Groom], your marriage is a testament to your love and commitment to each other. It is a promise to stand by each other through life's joys and sorrows, to support and honour one another, and to create a unique bond that is truly yours.

Marriage is also about community and the support that surrounds a couple. Today, we also acknowledge the role of family and friends in [Bride] and [Groom]'s lives and their journey towards this special day. It is a day to celebrate not only the love between [Bride] and [Groom] but also the love and joy that we, as a community, feel for this wonderful couple.

[Bride] and [Groom], as you embark on this new chapter of your lives together, remember the seriousness of the vows you have taken today. Remember the joy and love that brought you here and cherish it always. May your love continue to grow and inspire, and may your marriage be a source of strength and joy for both of you.

Let us pray.

Heavenly Father, we give thanks for the love that [Bride] and [Groom] share and for the blessing of their marriage. We ask for Your guidance and grace to uphold them in their journey as husband and wife. May their love be a reflection of Your steadfast love, and may they always find comfort and support in their community. Amen.

The vows: the couple's promises to each other

The vows are one of the most important parts of a wedding ceremony, and for good reason. They are a public declaration of your love and commitment to your partner. When writing your vows, it's important to be honest and authentic. Here are some tips and ideas to help you craft your own unique and meaningful vows.

The Structure of Your Vows

Your vows should be a reflection of your relationship and your promises to your partner. Here is a basic structure you can follow:

• Address your partner by name and express your love for them.
• Recap your love story and share a brief anecdote or memory. You can include a romantic, humorous, or inspiring story that your guests will enjoy hearing.
• Communicate your partner's admirable traits and the things you appreciate about them.
• Make specific promises to your partner—the heart of your vows. Include at least three to six meaningful and enduring commitments that you intend to uphold throughout your marriage.
• Envision your future together and share your hopes and dreams for your life as a married couple.

Tips for Writing Your Vows

Start by gathering inspiration. Read examples of vows, both traditional and modern, to get a sense of the tone and structure you want to achieve. You can also draw inspiration from poetry, books, movies, or songs.

• Agree on a tone and format with your partner. Discuss the length of your vows, whether you want to include humour, and any topics you want to avoid.
• Take time to reflect on your relationship. Write down your favourite memories, the qualities you admire in your partner, and why you want to marry them. Be specific and include concrete examples.
• Be authentic and write from the heart. Your vows should be a sincere declaration of your love. It's okay to be sentimental and vulnerable—this is a unique moment that you and your partner will cherish.
• Edit and refine your vows. Take a break between writing drafts to gain clarity and perspective. Ask a close friend or your officiant to read your vows and provide feedback.
• Practice reciting your vows. This will help you feel more confident on your wedding day and ensure that your delivery matches the tone and speed you want. Practising will also help you identify any areas that need clarification or improvement.
• Create a clean copy of your vows for the ceremony. Write them in a vow booklet or vow book rather than reading from a phone or scrap of paper. This will ensure that your vows look neat and are easy to read during the ceremony.

Sample Vows to Inspire You

"I promise to love you and support you in all life's adventures. I will be your partner in crime, your biggest fan, and your best friend. I vow to always be there for you, to lift you up when you're down, and to remind you how much I love you every day. Together, we will create a home filled with laughter, compassion, and endless love. This is my sacred vow to you, my soulmate and my partner for life."

"You are my best friend, my confidant, and the love of my life. I promise to love and cherish you through all life's twists and turns. I will support your dreams, respect our differences, and celebrate our unique bond. I will be there for you in good times and bad, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, as long as we both shall live. My love for you is unconditional and eternal."

Frequently asked questions