Wedding Reception Guest List: Who Should Be Invited?

Planning a wedding can be stressful, especially when it comes to deciding who to invite. There are often space limitations, budget constraints, or personal preferences that influence the number of guests a couple can invite. It is considered good etiquette to invite all ceremony guests to the reception as well. However, it is acceptable to have a small, intimate ceremony followed by a larger reception, as long as guests are made aware of the arrangement. This can be achieved through separate invitations or by including an extra slip in the invitations of those invited to the ceremony.

Inviting guests to the reception only

It is considered acceptable to invite guests to the wedding reception only. This is a great option if you are working with a tight budget or small venue capacity. It is becoming increasingly common, so your loved ones will likely be familiar with this arrangement.

If you are inviting guests to the reception only, it is important to be clear and concise with your invitations. Here are some tips on how to word and format your invitations:

• Print separate invitations for the reception and the ceremony. The reception invitation should be the main card, while the ceremony can be a smaller card.
• Use clear wording to indicate that the guest is invited to the reception only. For example, " [Names of the couple] request the pleasure of your company at their wedding reception to celebrate their marriage."
• Include an RSVP card with both types of invitations.
• If you are inviting someone to the ceremony, you must also invite them to the reception.
• If the reception is on the same day as the ceremony, try to schedule the ceremony earlier in the day to allow for plenty of time to celebrate with your intimate group of guests before the reception.
• If the reception is at a different time or location, be sure to include those details on the invitation.
• It is recommended to have two separate guest lists: one for the ceremony and reception, and one for the reception only. Stick to your guest list decisions, even if some guests pressure you to invite them to the ceremony as well.

By following these tips, you can ensure that your guests are clear about the details of your wedding and that your special day runs smoothly.

Dealing with family members' opinions about not attending the ceremony

Planning a wedding can be stressful, especially when family members are involved. Some give unsolicited opinions, while others may put pressure on you to do things a certain way. It can be challenging to determine whether you are dealing with normal wedding planning angst from family or if someone is simply being toxic. If it's the latter, there are a few strategies you can use to address the situation.

Firstly, it is essential to be sure about your decision. Talk to your partner, friends, or even a counsellor to ensure you are confident in your choice. This will help you remain firm in your decision and not be swayed by others' opinions.

Once you have made your decision, hold yourself accountable. Take responsibility for your reaction and be prepared to explain your reasons, if necessary. Be honest and direct, using phrases such as, "I'm not comfortable having you attend our wedding. I'm sorry, but my decision is final." If you don't want to discuss the reasons, you can simply state, "It's hard for me to talk about it, but my decision is final."

It is crucial to confront the situation quickly and directly. Don't put it off, and be clear in your communication. If family members threaten not to attend, stand your ground and respond with something like, "I'm sorry you won't be there, but that's your decision."

Remember, it is your wedding, and you have the right to decide who to invite. You don't need to apologise for your choices, but it is important to be respectful and direct in your communication with family members who may have differing opinions.

Wording and sending invitations

If you're planning a small ceremony, it's considered good etiquette to only invite certain guests to the wedding, and not the reception. However, if you have the space to accommodate all your guests at the ceremony, it's considered poor form not to invite them to both parts of the day.

If you're inviting guests to both the ceremony and the reception, you can send them a single invitation card with all the details. However, if you're limiting ceremony attendance, it's best to print separate invitations for the ceremony and reception. Here are some tips for sending out invitations:

• Create two separate guest lists: one for guests invited to both the ceremony and reception, and another for guests invited to the reception only.
• Print two different invitations: one for guests invited to both events, and another for guests invited to the reception only. This option can be more expensive, as it requires two different invitation suites.
• Print a single invitation with reception details and include a separate insert card with ceremony details for guests invited to both events.
• Use clear wording on the reception-only invitations to indicate that guests are invited to a reception celebrating your marriage, not the ceremony itself.
• Send invitations at least eight weeks in advance, or ten weeks if guests will need to travel, and be prepared to send out a second round of invitations if you receive any regrets.
• Remember to include an RSVP card with all invitations and be clear about the deadline for responses.
• If you're inviting guests with children, it's considered polite to inform them that the event is adults-only, either through word-of-mouth or by not including the children's names on the invitation envelope.

Inviting plus ones

When it comes to inviting plus ones to your wedding, there are a few things to consider. Firstly, it's important to remember that not everyone needs to bring a plus one. If your venue has limited space or you're on a tight budget, it's perfectly acceptable to only offer plus ones to certain guests.

Who Gets a Plus One?

• Married, engaged, and cohabitating guests: It is generally considered good etiquette to invite both parties in a married or engaged couple, even if you are closer to one person than the other.
• Members of the bridal party: It is common courtesy to offer a plus one to members of the bridal party as a token of appreciation for their time and effort.
• Out-of-town guests: Guests who are travelling from out of town and may not know many other attendees are usually given plus-one privileges so they don't feel out of place.
• Close family members: This can be assessed on a case-by-case basis. If your family members already know each other, they may not need a plus one.

Who Doesn't Need a Plus One?

• Guests who are casually dating: If the invited guest has a new partner every few months or hasn't been in a relationship for more than a year, a plus one is not necessary.
• Single guests who know other guests: If your single guests will have friends or family at the wedding, they will likely be comfortable without a plus one.

How to Notify Guests About Plus Ones

When sending out invitations, it's important to be clear about who is invited. If you are offering a plus one, include "and guest" on the outer envelope or inner envelope, or include a separate card for the plus one. If you are not offering a plus one, simply address the invitation to the individual guest.

How to Handle Requests for Plus Ones

If a guest who has not been offered a plus one reaches out to request one, it is best to respond kindly and firmly, explaining that you have limited space or budget constraints. You can also suggest that you would be happy to accommodate their request if other guests decline their invitations.

Dealing with guests' children

Deciding whether or not to invite children to your wedding can be a tricky task. Here are some tips to help you navigate this situation:

Be Clear and Direct

It is important to be clear and direct with your guests about your wishes regarding children at the wedding. The best way to do this is to address the invitations specifically to the adults who are invited, for example, "Mr and Mrs Smith". If you want to be extra clear, you can include a note card with the invitation that politely informs guests that the wedding will be adults-only. You can also be specific on the reply card by filling in the names of the invited guests ahead of time.

Spread the Word

Ask your wedding party, close friends, and family members to help spread the no-kids rule via word of mouth. This way, guests can be informed ahead of time and make the necessary arrangements. It is also a good idea to add information to your wedding website, such as a FAQs page, to explain that the wedding will be child-free.

Pick an Age Limit

If you want to ban all children, then set an age limit of 18+. If you are only concerned about young children, you may consider setting the limit at 13+ or 16+. Whatever you choose, it is important to be consistent and apply the rule to everyone to avoid causing offence.

Be Sensitive and Tactful

While it is your wedding and your decision, it is important to be sensitive and tactful when communicating your wishes. Avoid putting "NO KIDS" on your wedding invitations as this may come across as rude. Instead, use phrases like "intimate ceremony" or "cocktail reception" to subtly convey a child-free event. If you get any no-shows due to childcare issues, be kind and understanding.

Follow Up with a Phone Call

If you receive a reply card or hear through word of mouth that some guests are planning to bring their children, give them a call and politely explain that children are not invited. You can blame it on space or budget restrictions to avoid awkwardness. If any guests refuse to accept your no-kids rule, be firm and stress that your wedding won't be a child-friendly event.

Remember, it is your wedding and your decision. Don't let anyone bully you into changing your rules. If you handle the situation with sensitivity and tact, your guests will understand and respect your wishes.

Frequently asked questions