Addressing Wedding Invites To Big Families: A Guide To Getting It Right

When addressing wedding invitations to a family, it's important to follow certain etiquette rules to ensure your guests feel welcomed and respected. Here are some guidelines to help you address wedding invitations to a big family:

- Decide whether to use double envelopes or a single envelope. Double envelopes are more formal and traditional, while a single outer envelope is suitable for informal affairs.

- Use formal titles and full names on the outer envelope. Address a married couple as Mr. and Mrs. followed by the husband's full name or write out each person's full name. For same-sex couples, use appropriate titles like Mrs. and Mrs. or Mr. and Mr.

- On the inner envelope, you can be more casual and use first names. If you are inviting children under 18, list their names on the inner envelope, and address girls as Miss. Children over 18 should receive their own invitation.

- Be clear about whether children are invited. If they are not listed on the invitation, it is generally understood that they are not invited. However, you may want to explicitly mention this on your wedding website to avoid confusion.

- Give yourself enough time to assemble and mail the invitations. Stuff the envelopes carefully, weighing them before mailing to ensure sufficient postage.

Addressing a married couple with the same last name

When addressing a married couple with the same last name, there are a few etiquette rules to follow. Firstly, it is important to use the correct titles or prefixes. For a heterosexual couple, the outer envelope should use "Mr." and "Mrs." and spell out the husband's first and last name. For a same-sex couple, either name can go first. Here is an example:

> Outer envelope: "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren"

If the couple is sensitive to the woman's name being left out, you can address the outer envelope as follows:

> Outer envelope: "Mr. Thomas Warren and Mrs. Michelle Warren"

The inner envelope is more informal and can include first names only. Here are some examples:

> Inner envelope: "Mr. and Mrs. Warren" or "Thomas and Michelle"

> Inner envelope: "Mr. Warren and Mrs. Warren"

If you are addressing a married couple with different last names, the names should be written on the same line with the woman's name first. If the names are too long, list them separately. Here is an example:

> Outer envelope: "Ms. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez"

> Inner envelope: "Ms. Stevens and Mr. Estevez" or "Maria and David"

For a married couple with one hyphenated last name, the outer envelope should include both partners' names, with the hyphenated name last. Here is an example:

> Outer envelope: "Mr. Marcus Craft and Mr. Brian Crosby-Craft"

> Inner envelope: "Mr. Craft and Mr. Crosby-Craft" or "Marcus and Brian"

When addressing an unmarried couple, the names should be listed on the same line, with the person you are closest to listed first. If you are equally close to both, go in alphabetical order. Here is an example:

> Outer envelope: "Mr. Stanley Kim and Ms. Amanda Rhee"

> Inner envelope: "Mr. Kim and Ms. Rhee" or "Stanley and Amanda"

Addressing a married couple with different last names

When addressing a wedding invitation to a married couple with different last names, it's important to remember a few key things. Firstly, avoid assuming that the wife has changed her name to match her husband's; this can be seen as erasing her identity. Instead, ask the couple beforehand what their preferences are.

For a heterosexual couple, the general format is to write their names on the same line with the woman's name first. If their combined names are too long, list them separately. An example of this format is:

> Ms. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez

If you are using an inner envelope, the inner envelope can be less formal. You can use titles and last names or just first names if you are close with the couple. For example:

> Ms. Stevens and Mr. Estevez or Maria and David

If the couple has the same last name, you can list them together using the husband's first and last name:

> Mr. and Mrs. Robert Belcher

Or, to address them equally, you can use both the husband's and wife's first and last names:

> Mr. Robert Belcher and Mrs. Linda Belcher

If one of the married couple has a hyphenated name, list the hyphenated name last. Either 'Ms.' or 'Mrs.' can be used:

> Mr. Andy Dwyer and Ms. April Ludgate-Dwyer

It's also important to remember that people expect a degree of formality with wedding invitations, so it's best to err on the side of caution and avoid being too informal.

Addressing a married couple with children

When addressing a wedding invitation to a married couple with children, there are a few things to keep in mind. Firstly, it's important to use the correct titles or prefixes for each family member. For the outer envelope, you have a few options:

• If the couple has the same last name, you can use "Mr." and "Mrs." followed by the husband's first and last name: "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren". For a same-sex couple, either name can go first.
• If the couple has different last names, write their names on the same line with the person you are closest to or the woman's name first: "Ms. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez".
• If one spouse has a hyphenated last name, list their name last: "Mr. Andy Dwyer and Ms. April Ludgate-Dwyer".

For the inner envelope, you can be less formal and use first names only (if you are very close to the couple), or a more informal variation of their titles and names:

• For a couple with the same last name: "Mr. and Mrs. Warren" or "Thomas and Michelle".
• For a couple with different last names: "Mrs. Knope and Mr. Wyatt" or "Leslie and Ben".
• For a couple with a hyphenated last name: "Mr. Dwyer and Ms. Ludgate-Dwyer" or "Andy and April".

When inviting an entire family, you can choose to list each family member's name or simply address the envelope to the family as a whole. If you want to specify which family members are invited, the outer envelope can include the parents' names, followed by the invited children's names in order of age. Girls under 18 can be addressed as "Miss":

"The Thompson Family"

"Mr. and Mrs. Alan Thompson"

"Mr. and Mrs. Alan Thompson

Daniel, Jeffrey, Miss Brittany, and Mx. Kelly"

The inner envelope can include the first names of all invited family members:

"Mr. and Mrs. Thompson

Daniel, Jeffrey, Brittany, and Kelly"

Or

"Alan, Emily, Daniel, Jeffrey, Brittany, and Kelly"

Remember to include each child's name on the invitation to avoid any confusion about whether children are invited to the wedding.

Addressing a married couple with distinguished titles

When addressing a married couple with distinguished titles, it's important to follow the correct etiquette to ensure your invitations are polite and clear. Here are some guidelines to help you:

Outer Envelope Etiquette:

The outer envelope is the more formal of the two and should include the full names and titles of the recipients. Here are some examples:

For a couple where one partner has a distinguished title:

"The Honorable Josephine Wood and Mr. Jonathan Wood" or "Lieutenant Jonathan Kelly, US Navy and Mrs. Jane Kelly".

For a couple with the same last name, both with distinguished titles:

"The Doctors Smith" or "Drs. Matthew and Angela Smith".

For a couple with different last names, both with distinguished titles:

"Colonel Michael Smith, US Army and The Honorable Lisa Smith, Senator".

Inner Envelope Etiquette:

The inner envelope is more informal, and you have more flexibility. You can use titles and last names or just first names if you're close with the couple:

For a couple where one partner has a distinguished title:

"Judge Wood and Mr. Wood" or "Lieutenant Kelly and Mrs. Kelly".

For a couple with the same last name, both with distinguished titles:

"The Doctors Smith" or "Matthew and Angela".

For a couple with different last names, both with distinguished titles:

"Colonel Smith and Senator Smith" or "Captain Benjamin Pierce and Major Margaret Houlihan".

General Guidelines:

• If both names are too long for one line, indent the second line.
• The person with the distinguished title should be listed first, regardless of gender.
• If both partners have titles of equal rank, list them alphabetically or choose the order that feels right for you.
• For doctors, spell out "Doctor" on the outer envelope and abbreviate to "Dr." on the inner envelope.
• For military personnel, include their branch, e.g., "US Navy", "US Air Force".

Addressing a single person

When addressing a wedding invitation to a single person, the guest's title and full name should be written out on the centre of the envelope. The person's title should be chosen with care, with "Mr." used for males over the age of 18, "Mrs." for married women or divorced/widowed women, "Miss" for single women and girls under 18, and "Ms." for unmarried women over 30 or when you are unsure which title to use. For non-binary guests, the abbreviation "Mx." is often used.

If the guest has a professional title, such as "Doctor", "Reverend", "Judge", or "Colonel", this should be included in the address. Traditionally, these titles are spelled out in full, but abbreviations can be used for a more modern look or to save space. The person's title should come before their name, regardless of gender.

If the guest is unmarried and bringing a plus-one, this can be indicated by adding "and guest" after their name.

Mr. Michael Rodriguez

Mrs. Regina Rodriguez

Mx. Courtney Andrews

Miss Donna-Jo Tanner

Mr. George Constanza

Ms. Elizabeth Lemon

Frequently asked questions