Writing Wedding Invites: Addressing Etiquette Made Simple

Wedding invitation wording can be a tricky task, especially when it comes to addressing the envelopes. There are a few key considerations to keep in mind before putting pen to paper. Firstly, it's important to decide on a formal or informal invitation style. This will depend on the level of formality of your wedding event. For a black-tie affair, a traditional and elegant addressing style is more suitable, while a casual or laid-back wedding may call for a more relaxed approach. Finalising your guest list is also crucial, ensuring that no one is overlooked. Understanding the appropriate titles, abbreviations, and honorifics for each recipient is essential. For instance, using Mr. for unmarried male guests and Ms. for unmarried female guests.

Formal vs informal: When to use which style

When it comes to addressing wedding invitations, there are a few factors to consider when deciding between a formal or informal style. The level of formality will depend on the overall tone and style of your wedding. Here are some guidelines to help you choose the appropriate style for your invitations:

Formal Addressing:

If you're having a formal or traditional wedding, such as a black-tie affair, it's best to use a more formal style for addressing your invitations. Here are some tips for formal addressing:

• Use formal names and avoid nicknames.
• Middle names are not necessary, but if used, they should be spelled out rather than abbreviated.
• Spell out all words such as "Apartment", "Avenue", "Street", etc.
• Abbreviate titles such as "Mr.", "Mrs.", "Ms." and "Jr.".
• Write out professional titles such as "Doctor", "Professor", "Reverend", etc.
• For married couples, use “Mr.” and “Mrs.” followed by the husband's full name. For same-sex couples, either name can come first.
• For unmarried couples living together, list both names on separate lines or on the same line, with the person you are closest to first.
• For single individuals, use "Mr." for men and "Ms." for women over 18. Use "Miss" for girls under 18.
• When inviting a family, list the parents' names on the outer envelope and include children's names on the inner envelope.

Informal Addressing:

If you're having a more casual or intimate wedding, such as a backyard barbecue or a laid-back country wedding, you can take a more informal approach to addressing your invitations. Here are some tips for informal addressing:

• You may use first names only or leave out titles, especially for close friends and family.
• You can be less formal with name order and use the person's name you are closest to first, regardless of gender.
• For unmarried couples, you can be less formal and use first names only if you prefer.
• If you're inviting a family, you can use first names for both parents and children, creating a warm and friendly tone.

Remember, the most important thing is to make your guests feel welcome and valued. Choose the style that best reflects the tone of your wedding and don't be afraid to mix and match to suit your guests' preferences. Happy planning!

Abbreviations: When to use them and when to avoid

When addressing wedding invitations, it is important to follow certain guidelines to ensure they are both respectful and accurate. While abbreviations are sometimes used, it is crucial to know when to use them and when to avoid them to maintain a formal and elegant tone.

Firstly, when it comes to titles such as "Mr.", "Mrs.", "Ms.", and "Jr.", it is generally acceptable to abbreviate. For instance, "Mr. and Mrs. Jackson Clarke" is the traditional way to address a married couple with the same last name. However, for unmarried couples or couples with different last names, it is preferable to write out their full names with the appropriate title, such as "Mrs. Gwyneth Brookes and Mr. Cyan Matthews".

On the other hand, it is advisable to avoid abbreviations for street names, such as "Avenue", "Street", or "Boulevard". These words should be spelled out in full, as in "56 North Ridge Drive". The same principle applies to state names; instead of using postal abbreviations like "CA" for California, write out the full state name. This rule also extends to middle names; either spell out the middle name in full or omit it entirely, but do not use initials.

Additionally, when addressing doctors, it is customary to spell out the word "Doctor" for medical doctors, as in "Doctor Michaela Quinn". For academic doctors with a Ph.D., the abbreviation "Dr." is more suitable, as in "Dr. Meredith Grey".

In summary, while certain abbreviations like "Mr.", "Mrs.", and "Jr." are commonly used in wedding invitation addresses, it is generally more formal and elegant to spell out most words and names in full. This ensures a polished and respectful tone for your wedding invitations.

Titles and honorifics: Mr, Mrs, Ms, Dr, etc

When addressing wedding invitations, it's important to use the correct titles and honorifics for your guests. Here are some guidelines to help you get it right:

Mr., Mrs., Ms., Miss

• For a married couple with the same last name, the traditional format is "Mr. and Mrs. [Husband's First Name] [Last Name]." For example, "Mr. and Mrs. John Rivera." If the couple might prefer to see the wife's name included, you can use "Mr. Thomas Warren and Mrs. Samantha Rivera."
• For a married couple with different last names, write their names on the same line with the woman's name first. For example, "Ms. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez." If the names are too long, it's fine to list them separately.
• For a married couple where one spouse has a hyphenated last name, the invitation can be addressed to "Mr. [Husband's First Name] [Husband's Last Name] and Mr. [Wife's First Name] [Wife's Hyphenated Last Name]." For example, "Mr. Marcus Craft and Mr. Brian Crosby-Craft."
• For an unmarried couple living together, include both names on one line, listing the person you are closest to first. For example, "Mr. Stanley Kim and Ms. Amanda Rhee." If you are equally close to both, go in alphabetical order.
• For a single woman over the age of 18, use "Ms." followed by her first and last name. For example, "Ms. Elizabeth Lemon." If she is under 18, use "Miss" spelled out, not abbreviated. For example, "Miss Donna-Jo Tanner."
• For a single man over the age of 18, use "Mr." followed by his first and last name. For example, "Mr. George Costanza." If he is under 18, no title is necessary. Just use his first and last name.
• When addressing a married couple where the wife has chosen to keep her maiden name, the outer envelope can be addressed to "Mr. [Husband's First Name] [Husband's Last Name] and Mrs. [Wife's First Name] [Wife's Maiden Name]." For example, "Mr. Thomas Warren and Mrs. Michelle Warren." On the inner envelope, you can address them as "Mr. and Mrs. Warren" or use their first names.

Dr.

• If one person in a married couple is a doctor, list the doctor first, regardless of gender. For example, "Doctor Tami Takata and Ms. Christina Smith." If the doctor uses their partner's surname socially, you can write "Dr. Anne and Mr. Peter Underwood."
• For a married couple where both partners are doctors, it is proper to use "The Doctors." For example, "The Doctors Smith." If they have different last names, you can write "Doctors Anne and Peter Underwood."
• For a couple where one person is an academic doctor (Ph.D.) and the other is a medical doctor, the academic doctor's title can be abbreviated as "Dr." For example, "Dr. Anne Barker and Mr. Peter Underwood."
• When addressing a couple with distinguished titles, such as doctors, military personnel, judges, or lawyers, list the guest with the professional title first. If both guests have special titles of equal rank, you can list their names alphabetically.

Other Titles

• For military personnel, use their military title followed by their name. For example, "Lieutenant Jonathan Kelly, US Navy." If both spouses are in the military, you can address them as "Captains Jane and Jonathan Kelly, US Navy."
• For lawyers, use their name followed by "Esq." For example, "Michelle Brown, Esq.".
• For judges, use the title "The Honorable" followed by their name. For example, "The Honorable Gina Rodriguez."
• For clergy members, use their religious title followed by their name. For example, "Rabbi Richard Glass" or "Father Damien Karras."
• If a guest has a non-binary gender identity, use the honorific "Mx." For example, "Mx. Sam Li."

Married couples: Same name or different names

When addressing wedding invitations to married couples, there are a few different scenarios to consider, depending on whether they share the same last name or have different last names. Here are some guidelines to help you with the wording and format:

Married Couple With the Same Last Name:

For a heterosexual couple, the traditional format is to use "Mr." and "Mrs." followed by the husband's full name. For a same-sex couple, either name can come first.

Outer envelope: "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren"

Inner envelope: "Mr. and Mrs. Warren" or "Thomas and Michelle"

However, some modern couples may prefer to have the wife's name included as well. In this case, you can write:

Outer envelope: "Mr. Thomas Warren and Mrs. Michelle Warren"

Inner envelope: "Mr. Warren and Mrs. Warren" or "Thomas and Michelle"

Married Couple With Different Last Names:

When addressing a married couple with different last names, the outer envelope should list their names on the same line, with the woman's name first. If their combined names are too long, you can list them separately.

Outer envelope: "Ms. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez"

Inner envelope: "Ms. Stevens and Mr. Estevez" or "Maria and David"

If the wife has kept her maiden name, the invitation should be addressed in the same way as a couple who are living together but not married. The names are listed alphabetically, regardless of gender.

Outer envelope: "Ms. Adams and Mr. Sullivan"

Inner envelope: "Ms. Adams and Mr. Sullivan"

Married Couple With One Hyphenated Last Name:

When one spouse has a hyphenated last name, their name is typically written last.

Outer envelope: "Mr. Marcus Craft and Mr. Brian Crosby-Craft"

Inner envelope: "Mr. Craft and Mr. Crosby-Craft" or "Marcus and Brian"

General Formatting Tips:

When addressing married couples, there are a few other general tips to keep in mind:

• Avoid using nicknames or abbreviations of names and addresses.
• Spell out all words, such as "Street", "Avenue", and the full state name.
• Abbreviate titles like "Mr.", "Mrs.", "Ms.", and "Jr.".
• Write out professional titles, such as "Doctor" or "Professor".
• If using an inner envelope, you can be less formal and use first names if you are very close to the couple.

Unmarried couples: Living together or separately

When addressing wedding invitations to unmarried couples, there are a few things to keep in mind, especially if they are living together. Here are some guidelines to help you navigate this:

Unmarried Couples Living Together:

The key to indicating that a couple is unmarried is to write their names independently on two lines and without the word "and". For example:

Mr. John Smith

Ms. Emily Johnson

When addressing the envelope, list the person you are closest with first, or go in alphabetical order by last name. It is also important to use the correct titles or prefixes, such as "Mr.", "Ms.", or "Miss", depending on their age and preference.

If you are using both inner and outer envelopes, the outer envelope is more formal and typically includes titles and full names. The inner envelope is more informal, allowing for flexibility with names. For unmarried couples living together, you can use titles and last names or first names only on the inner envelope:

Mr. Smith

Ms. Johnson

Or

John

Emily

Unmarried Couples Living Separately:

If the couple does not live together, it is customary to send separate invitations to each individual. Follow the same guidelines as above for addressing the envelopes, using their full names on the outer envelope and either titles and last names or first names on the inner envelope.

Remember to double-check the spelling of your guests' names and give yourself enough time to assemble and mail the invitations.

Frequently asked questions