Writing Addresses: Wedding Invitation Envelope Etiquette

Wedding invitations can be a tricky business, and addressing the envelopes correctly is an important step in making your guests feel welcome. There are a few key considerations to keep in mind when addressing wedding invitation envelopes, including the level of formality you wish to convey, the appropriate titles and honorifics for your guests, and the specific wording for different types of invitees, such as married couples, unmarried couples, single guests, and families.

The outer envelope, which is the one that will be stamped and mailed, should generally follow a more formal style, including the recipient's full name and personal title. The inner envelope, which is optional, is more informal and can include just the guest's last name or even their first name or nickname.

For a more traditional approach, married couples with the same last name are typically addressed as Mr. and Mrs. [Husband's Full Name]. However, a more modern and inclusive approach is to include both first names, such as Mr. [Husband's First Name] and Mrs. [Wife's First Name] [Shared Last Name]. For married couples with different last names, simply list their full names with the appropriate titles.

When inviting unmarried couples who live together, it is customary to include both names on separate lines, with the person you are closer to listed first. For single guests with a plus-one, it is best to include the name of the guest if known, or simply indicate and Guest on the inner envelope.

Addressing a family with children can be done in a few ways. If you are inviting the whole family, the outer envelope can be addressed to The [Family Name] or Mr. and Mrs. [Parents' Names]. The inner envelope can then specify the names of the children if they are also invited.

Remember to use formal names (no nicknames), spell out middle names and addresses, and abbreviate titles like Mr., Mrs., Ms., and Jr..

Married couples with the same last name

When addressing wedding invitation envelopes to married couples with the same last name, there are a few options to consider, depending on your preferred level of formality and the couple's preferences. Here are some detailed guidelines:

Outer Envelope (Formal):

• For heterosexual couples, use "Mr." and "Mrs." followed by the husband's full name: "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren". The outer envelope can also include the wife's first name: "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren".
• For same-sex couples, either name can go first, followed by "and": "Mrs. Shyan Walton and Mrs. Kiara Walton" or "Mr. Denzel Grant and Mr. Francis Grant".

Inner Envelope (Informal):

• The inner envelope is more informal, so you have the option to use first names only: "Thomas and Michelle" or "Michelle and Thomas".
• If you prefer to include titles and last names, you can write: "Mr. and Mrs. Warren".

Modern Alternative:

• If the traditional format doesn't sit well with the couple, a modern alternative is to list both first names and the shared last name: "Mr. Thomas Warren and Mrs. Michelle Warren".
• For same-sex couples, the same format applies: "Mrs. Kiara Walton and Mrs. Shyan Walton".

General Guidelines:

• When addressing envelopes, it is best to avoid abbreviations and write out full names and titles.
• For a more modern approach, you can choose to forgo titles altogether and use only first and last names.
• Remember to consider the couple's preferences and what they may find most appropriate and respectful.

Married couples with different last names

When addressing wedding invitation envelopes to married couples with different last names, there are a few things to keep in mind. Here are some detailed guidelines to help you with this task:

Outer Envelope:

On the outer envelope, which is the one that will be stamped and mailed, write out the full names of both spouses, including their titles. You can use "Mr." for the husband and "Mrs." for the wife, or "Ms." for both if they prefer. Join their names with "and". Either the husband or wife's name can come first, but it is more common to see the woman's name first. Here are some examples:

• "Ms. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez"
• "Mrs. Gwyneth Brookes and Mr. Cyan Matthews"
• "Ms. Anna Smith and Mr. Henry Jones"

If the couple has the same first name, you can use their middle name or initials to differentiate them:

"Ms. Maria T. Stevens and Mr. David T. Estevez"

If the couple's names are very long and don't fit on one line, you can write their names on two separate lines without the "and":

• "Ms. Maria Stevens
• Mr. David Estevez"

Inner Envelope:

The inner envelope is optional and is used to indicate the names of the invitees. It is more informal, so you have some flexibility. You can use their titles and last names, or just their first names:

• "Ms. Stevens and Mr. Estevez"
• "Maria and David"

If you are close to one of them, you can list that person's name first. Alternatively, you can arrange the names alphabetically by last name.

Same-Sex Married Couples:

For same-sex married couples with different last names, follow the same guidelines as above. Make sure to use the appropriate titles and prefixes, such as "Mr." or "Mrs.":

• "Mr. Daniel Ramsay and Mr. Jeric Combs"
• "Mrs. Margarette Hyde and Mrs. Kayla Cruz"

Unmarried Couples:

For unmarried couples living together, follow a similar format as for married couples with different last names. Use their full names with the appropriate titles, and join their names with "and". You can list the person you are closer to first, or arrange the names alphabetically by last name:

"Ms. Alysson Schulz and Mr. Ricardo Gonzales"

If the unmarried couple does not live together, they should receive separate invitations.

Single guests with a plus one

When addressing wedding invitations to single guests with a plus one, there are a few things to keep in mind. Firstly, it is important to use the correct titles and names when addressing the outer and inner envelopes. The outer envelope is what is stamped and addressed, while the inner envelope contains the names of the invitees and the invitation itself.

For a single male guest with a plus one, the outer envelope can be addressed as "Mr. James Montgomery", while the inner envelope can be addressed as "Mr. Montgomery and guest" or "James and guest". If the name of the plus one is known, it is more personal to include their name on a separate line, for example, "Mr. Montgomery and Ms. Smith".

For a single female guest with a plus one, the outer envelope can be addressed as "Ms. Stephanie Chen", while the inner envelope can include the "and guest" language, for example, "Ms. Chen and guest" or "Stephanie and guest". Again, if the name of the plus one is known and you want to include it, the inner envelope can be addressed as "Ms. Chen and Ms. Smith" or "Stephanie and Emma".

The same guidelines can be applied to non-binary guests with a plus one. The outer envelope can be addressed as "Mx. Sam Li", while the inner envelope can include their name and their guest, for example, "Sam Li and guest" or "Sam Li and Emma Smith".

It is worth noting that including "and guest" on the inner envelope is more common than indicating a plus one on the outer envelope. However, if you prefer to include it on the outer envelope, the address can be written as "Mr./Ms./Mx. [Name] and Guest" on one line.

Unmarried couples

When addressing wedding invitation envelopes to unmarried couples, there are a few things to keep in mind. Firstly, it is recommended to use both inner and outer envelopes. The outer envelope is what is stamped and addressed, while the inner envelope only contains the names of the invitees and the invitation itself. The inner envelope is optional and can be omitted if desired.

For unmarried couples living at the same address, both names should be included on one line on the outer envelope, with each name getting its own line on the inner envelope. The person you are closest to should be listed first, or you can use alphabetical order if you are equally close to both guests. The appropriate titles ("Mr.", "Ms.", etc.) should be used, and it is recommended to double-check each guest's preferred title beforehand.

Outer envelope (formal):

Mr. Aaron Triguiero and Mr. Gabriel Reyes

Inner envelope (informal):

Mr. Triguiero and Mr. Reyes

Or

Outer envelope (formal):

Mr. Benjamin Clarke and Ms. Sophie Westbourne

Inner envelope (informal):

Mr. Clarke and Ms. Westbourne

Or

Outer envelope (contemporary):

Ed and Kara

Inner envelope (contemporary):

Ed and Kara

If the unmarried couple does not live together, they should receive separate invitations.

Formal vs informal addressing

When addressing wedding invitations, it's important to consider the formality of the event and your relationship with the guests. Here are some guidelines for formal versus informal addressing:

Formal Addressing:

Outer Envelope: The outer envelope is typically more formal and includes the full name(s) of the recipient(s), along with their personal title(s). This format works for couples of all genders, regardless of whether they share a surname. For example:

"Mr. and Mrs. Jackson Clarke" or "Mrs. Shyan Walton and Mrs. Kiara Walton".

If you want to be more modern, you can omit titles and use first and last names only. You can also use gender-neutral titles like "Mx." for non-binary guests. Double-check your guests' preferred titles before finalising the invitations.

Inner Envelope: The inner envelope is more informal. You can choose to include the guests' full names with titles, or just their first names. For example, if you used only the titles and last name on the outer envelope, you could use first names on the inner envelope: "Thomas and Michelle".

Informal Addressing:

For a casual wedding, you may choose to use first names only or first and last names without titles on both the outer and inner envelopes. This is especially appropriate if your wedding has a very informal vibe, like a backyard barbecue.

However, it is recommended to use more formal wording for older or more conservative guests, as they may consider informality disrespectful.

Other Considerations:

• Married Couple with Different Last Names: For married couples with different last names, write out their full names with "Mr." or "Mrs." on the outer envelope. Either name can come first. For same-sex couples, use the appropriate prefixes.
• Single Persons: Use "Mr." for male guests, "Ms." for female guests, and "Mx." for non-binary guests, followed by their full names.
• Widowed or Divorced Women: For widowed women, ask for their preference, but it is common to use their married name. For divorced women, they may use either "Mrs." or "Ms." depending on whether they use their married or maiden name.
• Plus Ones: If a guest has a plus one, include "and Guest" or list the guest's name if you know it.
• Unmarried Couple: For unmarried couples living together, list both names on one or two lines with appropriate titles. Start with the person you are closer to.
• Engaged Couple: For a formal approach, address them as unmarried. For a casual approach, refer to them as future newlyweds.
• Family: If you are inviting the whole family, you can address the envelope to "The Carter Family" or specify the names of the children if you want to be specific.
• Distinguished Titles: For doctors, use "The Doctors" or spell out their titles. For other titles like military personnel, judges, etc., list the person with the higher title first, regardless of gender.
• Children: For formal addressing, use "Master" for boys under 13 and "Miss" for girls under 18. For informal addressing, use the parents' first names on the outer envelope and the parents' and children's first names without titles on the inner envelope.

Remember, it's essential to double-check your guests' preferred titles and addresses, and give yourself enough time to assemble and send out the invitations.

Frequently asked questions